rj.thepathofdaggers-第67部分

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e　her　feel　relaxed；　absorbing　his　sureness。　Tonight；　she　had　had　to　manipulate　him；　and　she　thought　he　knew　it。　He　was　very　observant　for　a　man。　But　too　much　was　at　stake　to　trust　him　more；　until　he　made　an　open　declaration。　Maybe　an　oath　like　the　one　Myrelle　and　the　others　had　given。　Bryne　followed　the　Amyrlin；　and　the　army　followed　Bryne。　If　he　thought　she　was　going　to　throw　men　away　uselessly；　a　few　words　from　him　could　hand　her　to　the　Hall　trussed　like　a　pig　on　a　platter。　She　drank　deeply；　feeling　the　warmth　of　the　spiced　wine　spread　through　her。
　　　　　　　〃Better　for　us　if　they　believed；〃　she　muttered。　〃I　wish　there　was　something　for　them　to　believe。　If　I　do　nothing　else；　Siuan；　I　hope　at　least　I　can　free　us　from　the　Three　Oaths。〃
　　　　　　　〃No！〃　Siuan　barked。　She　sounded　scandalized。　〃Even　trying　could　be　disastrous；　and　if　you　succeeded。。。　The　Light　help　us；　if　you　succeeded；　you　would　destroy　the　White　Tower。〃
　　　　　　　〃What　are　you　talking　about？　I　try　to　follow　the　Oaths；　Siuan；　since　we're　stuck　with　them　…　for　now　…　but　the　Oaths　won't　help　us　against　the　Seanchan。　If　sisters　have　to　be　in　danger　of　their　lives　before　they　can　fight　back；　it's　only　a　matter　of　time　before　we　are　all　dead　or　collared。〃　For　a　moment　she　could　feel　the　a'dam　around　her　throat　again；　turning　her　into　a　dog　on　a　leash。　A　well…trained　and　obedient　dog。　She　was　glad　of　the　darkness；　now；　hiding　her　trembles。　Shadows　obscured　Siuan's　face；　save　for　a　soundlessly　working　jaw。
　　　　　　　〃Don't　you　look　at　me　like　that；　Siuan。〃　It　was　easier　to　be　angry　than　afraid；　easy　to　mask　fear　in　anger。　She　would　never　be　collared　like　that　again！　〃You've　taken　every　advantage　since　you　were　freed　from　the　Oaths。　If　you　hadn't　lied　in　your　teeth；　we'd　all　be　in　Salidar；　without　an　army；　sitting　on　our　hands　and　waiting　for　a　miracle。　Well；　you　would　be。　They'd　never　have　summoned　me　to　be　Amyrlin　without　your　lie　about　Logain　and　the　Reds。　Elaida　would　reign　supreme；　and　in　a　year；　nobody　would　remember　how　she　usurped　the　Amyrlin　Seat。　She'd　destroy　the　Tower；　for　sure。　You　know　she'd　mishandle　everything　about　Rand。　I　would　not　be　surprised　if　she　had　tried　to　kidnap　him　by　now；　except　that　she's　concerned　with　us。　Well；　maybe　not　kidnap；　but　she'd　have　done　something。　Likely；　Aes　Sedai　would　be　fighting　Asha'man　today；　and　never　mind　Tarmon　Gai'don　waiting　over　the　horizon。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　have　lied　when　it　seemed　necessary；〃　Siuan　breathed。　〃When　it　seemed　expedient。〃　Her　shoulders　hunched；　and　she　sounded　as　though　she　were　confessing　crimes　she　did　not　want　to　admit　to　herself。　〃Sometimes　I　think　it's　bee　too　easy　for　me　to　decide　that　it's　necessary　and　expedient。　I've　lied　to　almost　everyone。　Except　you。　But　don't　think　it　hasn't　occurred　to　me。　To　nudge　you　toward　a　decision；　or　away　from　one。　It　wasn't　wanting　to　keep　your　trust　that　stopped　me。〃　Siuan's　hand　stretched　out　in　the　dark；　pleading。　〃The　Light　knows　what　your　trust　and　friendship　mean　to　me；　but　it　wasn't　that。　It　wasn't　knowing　that　you'd　have　the　hide　off　me　in　strips；　or　send　me　away；　if　you　found　out。　I　realized　that　I　had　to　hold　on　to　the　Oaths　with　somebody；　or　I'd　lose　myself　pletely。　So　I　don't　lie　to　you；　or　to　Gareth　Bryne；　whatever　it　costs。　And　as　soon　I　can；　Mother；　I　will　swear　the　Three　Oaths　on　the　Oath　Rod　again。〃
　　　　　　　〃Why？〃　Egwene　asked　quietly。　Siuan　had　considered　lying　to　her？　She　would　have　had　her　hide　for　that。　But　her　anger　was　gone。　〃I　don't　condone　lying；　Siuan。　Not　normally。　It's　just　that　sometimes；　it　really　is　necessary。〃　Her　time　with　the　Aiel　flashed　through　her　mind。　〃So　long　as　you're　willing　to　pay　for　it；　anyway。　I've　seen　sisters　take　on　penance　for　smaller　things。　You　are　one　of　the　first　of　a　new　sort　of　Aes　Sedai；　Siuan；　free　and　unbound。　I　believe　you　when　you　say　you　won't　lie　to　me。〃　Or　to　Lord　Bryne？　Odd；　that。　〃Why　give　up　your　freedom？〃
　　　　　　　〃Give　up？〃　Siuan　laughed。　〃I'll　be　giving　up　nothing。〃　Her　back　straightened；　and　her　voice　began　to　gain　strength；　and　then　passion。　〃The　Oaths　are　what　make　us　more　than　simply　a　group　of　women　meddling　in　the　affairs　of　the　world。　Or　seven　groups。　Or　fifty。　The　Oaths　hold　us　together；　a　stated　set　of　beliefs　that　bind　us　all；　a　single　thread　running　through　every　sister；　living　or　dead；　back　to　the　first　to　lay　her　hands　on　the　Oath　Rod。　They　are　what　make　us　Aes　Sedai；　not　saidar。　Any　wilder　can　channel。　Men　may　look　at　what　we　say　from　six　sides；　but　when　a　sister　says；　'This　is　so；'　they　know　it's　true；　and　they　trust。　Because　of　the　Oaths。　Because　of　the　Oaths；　no　queen　fears　that　sisters　will　lay　waste　to　her　cities。　The　worst　villain　knows　he's　safe　in　his　life　with　a　sister　unless　he　tries　to　harm　her。　Oh；　the　Whitecloaks　call　them　lies；　and　some　people　have　strange　ideas　about　what　the　Oaths　entail；　but　there　are　very　few　places　an　Aes　Sedai　cannot　go；　and　be　listened　to；　because　of　the　Oaths。　The　Three　Oaths　are　what　it　is　to　be　Aes　Sedai；　the　heart　of　being　Aes　Sedai。　Throw　that　on　the　rubbish　heap；　and　we'll　be　sand　washing　away　in　the　tide。　Give　up？　I　will　be　gaining。〃
　　　　　　　Egwene　frowned。　〃And　the　Seanchan？〃　What　it　was　to　be　Aes　Sedai。　Almost　from　the　day　she　first　arrived　in　Tar　Valon；　she　had　worked　to　be　Aes　Sedai；　but　she　had　never　really　thought　about　what　it　was　that　made　a　woman　Aes　Sedai。
　　　　　　　Once　more　Siuan　laughed；　though　this　time　it　was　a　touch　wry；　and　weary。　She　shook　her　head；　and　darkness　or　no；　looked　tired。　〃I　don't　know；　Mother。　The　Light　help　me；　I　don't。　But　we　survived　the　Trolloc　Wars；　and　Whitecloaks；　and　Artur　Hawkwing；　and　everything　in　between。　We　can　find　a　way　to　deal　with　these　Seanchan。　Without　destroying　ourselves。〃
　　　　　　　Egwene　was　not　so　sure。　Many　of　the　sisters　in　camp　thought　the　Seanchan　were　such　a　danger　that　besieging　Elaida　should　wait。　As　if　waiting　would　not　cement　Elaida　on　the　Amyrlin　Seat。　Many　others　seemed　to　think　that　simply　uniting　the　White　Tower　again；　at　whatever　price；　would　make　the　Seanchan　vanish。　Survival　lost　some　of　its　attraction　if　it　was　survival　on　a　leash；　and　Elaida's　would　not　be　much　less　confining　than　the　Seanchan's。　What　it　was　to　be　Aes　Sedai。
　　　　　　　〃There's　no　need　to　keep　Gareth　Bryne　at　arm's　length；〃　Siuan　said　suddenly。　〃The　man's　a　walking　tribulation；　it's　true。　If　he　doesn't　count　as　penance　for　my　lies；　being　flayed　alive　wouldn't　do。　One　of　these　days；　I'll　box　his　ears　every　morning　and　twice　at　evenings；　on　general　principle；　but　you　can　tell　him　everything。　It　would　help；　if　he　understood。　He's　taking　you　on　trust；　and　it　ties　his　stomach　in　knots；　wondering　whether　you　know　what　you're　doing。　He　doesn't　let　on；　but　I　see。〃
　　　　　　　Suddenly；　pieces　clicked　in　Egwene's　mind　like　a　blacksmith's　puzzle　ing　undone。　Shocking　pieces。　Siuan　was　in　love　with　the　man！　Nothing　else　made　sense。　Everything　she　knew　between　them　altered。　Not　necessarily　for　the　better。　A　woman　in　love　often　put　her　brains　on　the　shelf　when　she　was　around　the　man　in　question。　As　she　herself　was　all　too　well　aware。　Where　was　Gawyn？　Was　he　well？　Was　he　warm？　Enough　of　that。　Too　much；　in　light　of　what　she　had　to　say。　She　put　on　her　best　Amyrlin's　voice；　sure　and　in　mand。　〃You　can　box　Lord　Bryne's　ears　or　bed　him；　Siuan；　but　you　will　watch　yourself　with　him。　You　will　not　let　slip　things　he　mustn't　know　yet。　Do　you　understand　me？〃
　　　　　　　Siuan　jerked　stiffly　erect。　〃I'm　not　in　the　habit　of　letting　my　tongue　flap　like　a　torn　sail；　Mother；〃　she　said　heatedly。
　　　　　　　〃I'm　very　glad　to　hear　it；　Siuan。〃　Despite　their　looking　only　a　few　years　apart；　Siuan　was　old　enough　to　be　her　mother　yet　at　that　moment　Egwene　felt　as　though　their　ages　had　been　reversed。　This　might　be　the　first　time　that　Siuan　had　ever　had　to　manage　with　a　man　not　as　Aes　Sedai；　but　as　a　woman。　A　few　years　of　thinking　I　loved　Rand；　Egwene　thought　wryly；　a　few　months　of　dangling　by　my　toes　for　Gawyn；　and　I　know　all　there　is　to　know。
　　　　　　　〃I　think　we're　done　here；〃　she　went　on；　slipping　an　arm　through　Siuan's。　〃Almost。　e。〃
　　　　　　　The　walls　of　the　tent　had　seemed　little　protection；　yet　stepping　outside　brought　a　renewed　assault　by　winter's　teeth。　The　moonlight　was　almost　bright　enough　to　read　by；　reflected　off　the　snow；　but　that　glow　seemed　cold。　Bryne　had　vanished　as　if　he　had　never　been。　Leane　appeared　long　enough　to　say　she　had　seen　no　one；　her　slimness　swallowed　in　layers　of　wool；　then　hurried　off　into　the　night　looking　about　her。　No　one　knew　of　any　connection　between　Leane　and　Egwene；　and　everyone　thought　Leane　and　Siuan　were　practically　at　daggers'　points。
　　　　　　　Gathering　her　cloak　as　best　she　could　one…handed；　Egwene　focused　on　ignoring　the　icy　chill　as　she　and　Siuan　walked　in　the　opposite　direction　from　Leane。　Ignoring　the　chill；　and　keeping　an　eye　out　for　anyone　who　happened　to　be　out。　Not　that　anyone　who　was　outside　now　was　likely　to　be　there　by　happenstance。
　　　　　　　〃Lord　Bryne　was　right；〃　she　told　Siuan；　〃about　it　being　better　if　Pelivar　and　Arathelle　believed　those　stories。　Or　at　least　if　they　were　uncertain。　Too　uncertain　to　fight；　or　do　anything　except　talk。　Do　you　think　they　would　wele　a　visit　from　Aes　Sedai？　Siuan；　are　you　listening　to　me？〃
　　　　　　　Siuan　gave　a　start；　and　stopped　staring　into　the　distance　ahead　of　them。　She　had　been　walking　ahead　without　missing　a　step；　but　now　she　slipped　and　nearly　sat　down　in　the　frozen　path；　barely　regaining　her　balance　in　time　to　keep　from　pulling　Egwene　down。　〃Yes；　Mother。　Of　course　I'm　listening。　They　might　not　be　exactly　weling；　but　I　doubt　they'll　turn　sisters　away。〃
　　　　　　　〃Then　I　want　you　to　wake　Beonin；　Anaiya；　and　Myrelle。　They　are　to　ride　north　inside　the　hour。　If　Lord　Bryne　expects　a　reply　as　soon　as　tomorrow　evening；　time　is　short。〃　A　pity　she　had　not　found　out　exactly　where　this　other　army　was　located；　but　asking　Bryne　might　have　roused　suspicion。　Finding　it　should　not　be　too　hard　for　Warders；　and　those　three　sisters　had　five　between　them。
　　　　　　　Siuan　listened　in　silence　to　her　instructions。　Not　only　those　three　were　to　be　rooted　out　of　their　sleep。　e　dawn；　Sheriam　and　Carlinya；　Morvrin　and　Nisao　would　all　know　what　to　say　over　breakfast。　Seeds　had　to　be　planted；　seeds　that　could　not　have　been　placed　earlier　for　fear　of　them　sprouting　too　soon；　but　now　they　had　all　too　little　time　to　grow。
　　　　　　　〃It