pzb.drawingblood-第30部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


ong　the　walking　wounded。
　　Eventually　Trevor's　flood　of　words　ran　down　and　he　sat　staring　out　through　the　drifting；　glistening　fronds　of　the　willow。　Through　the　undergrowth　one　weathered　corner　of　the　house　was　just　visible；　paler　gray　than　the　threatening　afternoon　sky。　Zach　watched　a　single　raindrop　making　its　way　down　the　knobby　ridge　of　Trevor's　spine。　At　last　Trevor　said；　〃I　don't　know　why　I　told　you　all　that。　You　still　must　think　I'm　crazy。〃
　　〃Maybe；〃　Zach　told　him；　〃but　I　don't　hold　it　against　you。〃
　　It　was　obvious　no　one　had　ever　said　such　a　thing　to　Trevor　before。　He　didn't　know　what　to　make　of　it。　He　looked　wary；　then　surprised；　and　finally　tried　a　tentative　smile。
　　Zach　thought　Trevor　might　indeed　be　quite　insane；　but　was　developing　a　healthy　respect　for　him　in　spite　of　it。　Terry；　Victoria；　and　Kinsey　were　fun　to　hang　out　with；　but　if　he　was　going　to　stay　in　Missing　Mile　for　any　length　of　time；　he　wanted　Trevor　for　his　first　friend。
　　He'd　have　to　sublimate　the　attraction；　though。　He'd　done　it　before；　once　he　realized　that　he　actually　liked　someone。　He　didn't　think　it　would　be　a　problem：　whereas　Terry　gave　off　the　wrong　kind　of　pheromones；　Trevor　didn't　seem　to　give　off　any。　It　was　as　if　he　had　no　sexual　awareness　at　all。　Zach　caught　himself　wondering　how　hard　it　would　be　to　teach　him。
　　He　watched　the　raindrop　finish　its　navigation　of　Trevor's　spine　and　disappear　beneath　the　waistband　of　his　jeans。　There　was　a　dusting　of　the　palest　golden　hair　there；　slightly　damp；　right　in　the　hollow　of　the　back　。　。　。
　　He　bit　his　lip　painfully　and　realized　that　Trevor　was　asking　him　something。　〃Huh？〃
　　〃I　asked　what　you　do。〃
　　〃Oh。〃　After　the　raw　honesty　Trevor　had　shown　him；　Zach　could　not　entirely　bring　himself　to　lie。　〃Well；　I　work　with　puters。〃　With　great　relief　he　watched　Trevor's　eyes　glaze　over。　It　was　the　look　of　the　willful　puter　illiterate；　plete　with　the　hasty　little　nod　that　said　that's　enough；　that's　all　I　need　to　know；　please　don't　start　talking　about　bits　and　bytes　and　drives　and　megarams　and　all　that　inprehensible　mop。　Zach　had　seen　that　look　hundreds　of　times；　weled　it。　It　meant　he　wouldn't　have　to　answer　any　unfortable　questions。
　　He　dug　into　his　pocket　and　found　his　last　prerolled　joint；　flattened　and　mauled　but　more　or　less　intact。　〃Do　you　mind？〃　he　asked。　Trevor　shook　his　head。　Zach　produced　one　of　the　lighters　Leaf　had　given　him　and　set　it　afire。
　　Trevor's　nostrils　flared　as　the　smoke　drifted　past　his　face。　〃I　better　not；〃　he　said　when　Zach　offered　him　the　joint；　though　Zach　saw　his　fingers　twitch　as　if　wanting　to　reach　for　it。　〃I　smoked　some　pot　yesterday　and　almost　passed　out。　I'm　not　used　to　it。〃
　　Zach　gathered　all　his　considerable　nerve。　〃Want　a　shotgun？〃
　　〃What's　that？〃
　　Oh　god。　How　to　explain　a　shotgun　without　making　it　sound　like　the　obvious　scam　it　is？　I'm　not　going　to　take　this　any　further；　I'm　really　not；　I　LIKE　him；　dammit；　but　there's　no　harm　in　a　little　innocent　frustration。　〃It's；　uh；　where　one　person　breathes　in　the　smoke　and　then　blows　it　into　the　other　person's　mouth。　See；　my　lungs　filter　the　smoke　before　you　get　it；　so　it　won't　be　as　strong。〃　Yeah；　right。　Heavy　science　gain'　down。
　　Trevor　hesitated。　Zach　tried　not　to　slip　into　social…engineering　mode；　but　he　thought　he　could　feel　the　power　radiating　in　great　joyous　waves　through　his　brain　now。　He　felt　as　if　he　could　convince　absolutely　anybody　of　absolutely　anything。　〃C'mon；〃　he　said。　〃Pot's　good　for　you。　It　relaxes　you；　clears　out　your　brain。〃
　　Trevor　eyed　the　smoldering　joint；　then　shook　his　head。　〃No；　I　better　not。〃
　　〃What？〃　Zach　couldn't　hide　his　surprise。　He　had　known　Trevor　would　say　yes　as　surely　as　he'd　known　Leaf　would　give　him　those　damn　lighters。　〃Why？〃
　　Trevor　studied　Zach's　face　as　intently　as　anyone　ever　had；　more　intently　than　most　of　his　one…night　lovers　had　done。　Zach　felt　almost　unfortable　under　the　scrutiny　of　those　striking；　serious　eyes。　〃You　really　want　me　to　do　it；　don't　you？〃
　　Zach　shrugged；　but　he　felt　Trevor　had　looked　straight　through　his　skull　to　the　whorls　of　his　devious；　treacherous　brain。　〃It's　more　fun　getting　stoned　with　somebody；　that's　all。〃
　　Another　long　searching　look。　〃Okay　then。　I'll　take　one。〃　Zach　thought　Trevor　might　as　well　have　added；　But　don't　fuck　with　me　too　much；　hear？　He　realized　that　his　heart　was　beating　more　rapidly　than　ever；　that　his　blood　was　surging　and　his　head　felt　like　a　helium　balloon　ascending　fast　into　an　achingly　blue；　cloudless　sky。　No　one　ever　got　to　him　this　way；　this　was　the　way　he　liked　to　make　other　people　feel。
　　He　took　a　deep　hit　off　the　joint；　held　it　in　for　a　second；　then　leaned　over　and　exhaled　a　long　steady　stream　of　smoke　into　Trevor's　open　mouth。　Their　lips　barely　grazed。　Trevor's　felt　as　soft　as　velvet；　as　rain。　Ribbons　of　smoke　twined　from　the　corners　of　their　mouths；　swathed　their　heads　in　an　amorphous　blue…gray　veil。　Zach　kept　his　eyes　open　and　saw　that　Trevor　had　closed　his；　as　if　being　kissed。　His　eyelashes　were　a　dark　ginger　color；　the　pale　parchment　of　his　eyelids　shot　through　with　the　most　delicate　lavender　tracery　of　veins。　Zach　thought　of　putting　his　mouth　against　those　eyelids；　of　feeling　the　lashes　silky　against　his　lips；　the　secret　caged　movement　of　the　eyeball　beneath　his　tongue　。　。　。
　　。　。　。　and　he　was　doing　a　damn　fine　job　of　sublimating　his　attraction；　wasn't　he？
　　He　pulled　back；　shaken。　Once　he　decided　he　wasn't　going　to　be　turned　on　by　someone；　he　just　wasn't　anymore。　At　least　that　was　how　it　had　always　been。　He　let　himself　have　anyone　he　wanted　unless　he　had　good　reason　not　to　want　them；　and　his　libido　had　always　paid　back　by　giving　him　plete　control。
　　Until　now。
　　Trevor　lay　back　on　the　damp　grass　and　put　a　hand　to　his　forehead。　Zach　saw　pine　needles　snarled　in　his　long　hair；　fresh　dirt　under　his　fingernails；　tiny　beads　of　water　trapped　in　the　fine　hairs　around　his　nipples。
　　〃So；〃　said　Trevor；　blowing　out　his　shotgun；　〃how　did　your　parents　try　to　kill　you？〃
　　〃My　dad　beat　the　shit　out　of　me　for　fourteen　years。　My　mom　mostly　just　used　her　mouth。〃
　　〃Why　did　you　stay？〃
　　Zach　shrugged。　〃Nowhere　else　to　go。〃　From　the　corner　of　his　eye　he　saw　Trevor　nod。　〃Sure；　I　could　have　run　away　when　I　was　nine　or　ten；　but　there　would've　been　a　lifetime　of　stiff　dicks　in　Town　Cars　waiting　for　me。　I　waited　until　I　knew　I　could　take　care　of　myself　some　way　besides　giving　blowjobs。　Then　I　ran。　Just　disappeared　into　another　part　of　the　city。　They　never　tried　to　find　me。〃
　　〃What　city？〃
　　Zach　hesitated。　He　still　didn't　want　to　lie　to　Trevor；　but　he　couldn't　start　giving　different　stories　to　different　people。
　　〃You　don't　have　to　tell　me　if　you　don't　want　to。〃
　　〃New　Orleans；〃　Zach　said；　not　even　sure　why。　〃But　don't　tell　anybody。〃
　　〃Are　you　on　the　run　or　something？〃
　　Zach's　silence　spoke　volumes。
　　〃It's　okay；〃　said　Trevor。　〃I've　been　running　from　this　place　for　seven　years。　But　you　know；　you　get　sick　of　it　after　a　while。〃
　　〃Yeah；　so　you　e　back　and　it　tries　to　make　you　bash　people's　brains　out。〃
　　Trevor　shrugged。　〃I　wasn't　expecting　pany。〃
　　Zach　started　laughing。　He　couldn't　help　it。　This　guy　was　so　fucked　up　。　。　。　but　smart；　and　despite　his　weird　asexuality；　entirely　too　beautiful。　Trevor　stared　at　him　for　a　moment；　then　tentatively　joined　in。
　　They　grinned　at　each　other　in　ganja…swirled　camaraderie。　Suddenly　Zach　found　himself　wondering　again　if　it　mightn't　be　possible　after　all　to　love　someone　and　make　love　with　them　too。　Something　about　such　a　spontaneous　sweet　smile　on　a　face　that　didn't　smile　too　often　made　him　wonder　why　he　had　always　denied　himself　the　physical　pleasure　of　a　person　he　truly　cared　for。　Wouldn't　it　be　fun　to　see　someone…all　right　then；　someone　like　Trevor…　smile　that　way　just　because　Zach　knew　how　to　make　him　feel　good？　Maybe　even　more　fun　than　getting　sucked　off　by　a　cute；　all…but…anonymous　stranger　in　the　back　room　of　a　convenience　store　in　a　state　he　might　never　see　again？
　　Probably　not。　Probably　it　would　end　in　cutting　words　and　tears；　pain　and　blame　and　regret；　maybe　even　blood。　Those　were　the　risks　of　such　a　relationship；　almost　guaranteed。
　　But　where　along　the　line　had　he　decided　that　he　could　not　take　those　particular　risks；　while　cheerfully　taking…　indeed；　seeking　out…so　many　others？
　　Trevor　was　watching　him　closely。　He　looked　as　if　he　wanted　to　say　What　are　you　thinking？　but　didn't。　Zach　was　glad。　He'd　always　hated　that　question；　it　seemed　people　only　asked　it　of　you　when　you　were　thinking　about　something　you　didn't　want　to　share。
　　Instead；　very　hesitantly；　Trevor　asked；　〃Have　we　met　before？　Do　I　know　you？〃　He　frowned　as　if　that　weren't　precisely　the　question　he　wanted　to　ask；　but　he　could　not　find　the　words　for　the　right　one。
　　Zach　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　think　so。　But　。　。　。〃
　　〃It　feels　like　we　have；〃　Trevor　finished　for　him。
　　Zach　snuffed　the　half…burnt　joint　and　put　it　back　hi　his　pocket。　They　sat　in　silence　for　a　few　minutes。　Neither　wanted　to　be　the　first　to　say　too　much；　to　take　this　strange　new　notion　too　far。　Zach　mused　on　how　irretrievable　words　were　in　the　real　world。　In　many　ways　he　preferred　the　simplicity　of　the　puter　universe；　where　you　could　revise　and　delete　things　at　will；　where　you　acted　and　the　system　could　only　react　in　certain　ways。
　　But　there　you　ran　up　against　an　eventual　wall　of　predictability。　Here　the　slightest　shift　in　semantics　could　make　a　situation　run　wild；　and　that　appealed　to　him　too。
　　The　rain　had　nearly　stopped。　Now　it　began　to　e　down　harder　again；　though　they　were　still　protected　beneath　the　canopy　of　branches　and　vines。　The　sky　rumbled　with　nascent　thunder；　then　erupted。　All　at　once　it　was　pouring。
　　Zach　saw　a　chance　to　defuse　the　awkwardness。　He　caught　Trevor's　arm　and　pulled　him　up；　noticing　how　Trevor's　flesh　seemed　to　simultaneously　cleave　to　and　cringe　from　his　touch。　〃e　on！〃　he　urged。
　　〃Where？〃
　　〃Don't　you　want　a　shower？　This　is　our　chance！〃
　　〃Out　here？〃
　　〃Sure；　why　not？　Nobody　can　see　us　from　the　road。〃　Zach　ducked　out　from　under　the　curtain　of　willow　fronds　and　ran　to　a　clear　patch　in　the　yard。　He　kicked　his　sneakers　off；　pulled　his　shirt　over　his　head；　stuck　his　glasses　in　his　pocket；　and　started　unbutton