pzb.drawingblood-第37部分

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ood　punching　bag。
　　Trevor　might　be　crazy；　probably　was　crazy；　but　at　least　he　was　looking　for　the　source　of　his　craziness　instead　of　running　from　it。
　　Trevor　raised　his　head。　His　face　was　wet　with　tears　too。　。　He　saw　Zach　looking　at　him；　saw　the　blood；　and　his　expression　of　uneasy　calm　crumbled　into　fresh　woe。　〃You　can　leave　if　you　want。　I　won't　。　。　。　hurt　you。〃
　　〃I　don't　want　to　leave。〃
　　Trevor　tried　to　speak；　could　not　make　his　throat　work；　lowered　his　face　into　his　hands　again。
　　〃Trevor？〃
　　〃Wh　。　。　。〃　He　forced　back　a　sob。　〃What。〃
　　〃Why　don't　you　get　back　in　bed　with　me？〃
　　Amazed；　not　trusting　his　ears；　Trevor　looked　up。　He　saw　Zach's　face；　scared　but　not　angry。　Even　with　blood　dripping　fresh　off　his　chin；　Zach　wanted　him　over　there。　Trevor　couldn't　imagine　why。　He　only　knew　that　he　did　not　want　to　stay　here　alone　on　the　dirty　floor　of　his　childhood　room；　with　his　faded　drawings　staring　down　from　the　walls。
　　He　crawled　across　the　rough　floorboards；　through　the　drifts　of　torn　paper　and　dust；　toward　the　mattress。　When　he　was　halfway　there　Zach　held　out　his　hand；　and　Trevor　crawled　toward　that。
　　Zach　clasped　the　outstretched　hand　and　pulled　Trevor　onto　the　mattress；　into　his　arms。　He　pulled　Trevor's　head　into　the　hollow　of　his　shoulder；　buried　his　face　in　Trevor's　hair。　Zach's　body　felt　to　Trevor　like　a　reflection　of　his　own；　Zach's　bones　seemed　to　interlock　with　his　like　atoms　in　the　structure　of　a　molecule。　Trevor　thought　he　could　feel　their　very　souls；　their　molten　cores　of　pain；　flowing　together　like　white…hot　metals。
　　How　can　you　know　that？　Is　this　falling　in　love？　And　if　it　is；　how　the　hell　does　anyone　SURVIVE　it？
　　He　realized　that　he　was　sobbing　and　Zach　was　too；　that　their　faces　and　throats　and　collarbones　were　wet　with　each　other's　tears；　that　their　skin　was　spattered　and　streaked　with　Zach's　blood。　Zach's　arms　were　wrapped　tightly　around　Trevor's　chest；　and　his　sharp　chin　dug　into　Trevor's　shoulder。　Trevor　turned　his　head　slightly　and　his　mouth　found　Zach's　jawline；　still　bloody。
　　Without　thinking；　Trevor　rubbed　his　lips　across　the　blood；　then　licked　some　of　it　away。　Then　Zach's　mouth　moved　to　meet　his；　and　Trevor　supposed　this　was　kissing；　this　warm；　strange；　melting　thing。　He　tasted　salt　and　copper　and　the　sharp　smoky　flavor　of　Zach's　mouth。　Zach's　torn　lips　were　very　soft　against　his；　surely　sore。　As　they　kissed　more　deeply　Trevor　felt　the　wounds　e　open　again；　felt　Zach's　blood　flowing　over　his　tongue。　He　sucked　at　it　and　swallowed　it。　He　had　spilled　it；　now　he　could　take　it　into　himself。　And　it　tasted　so　sweet；　so　full　of　the　twin　energies　of　life　and　death。
　　Zach's　hands　traced　light　patterns　across　his　chest；　making　the　skin　shiver　into　goosebumps。　Trevor　moved　his　mouth　to　Zach's　ear；　smelled　yesterday's　rainwater　in　Zach's　hair。　〃What　are　you　doing？〃　he　whispered。
　　Zach　placed　his　lips　against　the　hollow　of　Trevor's　throat　and　left　them　there　for　a　moment　before　he　answered。　〃Do　you　mind？〃
　　〃No；　I　don't　think　so。　I　just　don't　know　。　。　。〃
　　〃Don't　know　what？〃
　　〃Anything。〃
　　Zach　glanced　up；　met　Trevor's　eyes。　〃You　mean　you've　never　。　。　。〃
　　Trevor　was　silent。　Zach's　eyes　widened　and　he　started　to　speak；　but　was　apparently　struck　dumb　with　awe。　Finally　he　said；　〃What　did　you　do？〃
　　〃Nothing。〃
　　〃Jerk　off？〃
　　〃Not　much。〃
　　Zach　shook　his　head　slowly；　marveling。　〃I'd　be　dead　in　a　week　if　I　didn't　do　something。　I'd　be　splattered　all　over　the　walls。〃
　　Trevor　shrugged。
　　〃Well…〃　Zach　lowered　his　head　so　that　the　longer　strands　of　his　hair　fell　forward　and　tickled　Trevor's　chest。　Most　of　his　face　was　hidden；　but　Trevor　saw　a　fierce　spot　of　color　blazing　in　one　pale　cheek。　〃I　would　show　you。　If　you　wanted　me　to。〃
　　〃Zach？〃
　　He　looked　up。　His　eyes　were　full　of　doubt　and　desire；　enormous…pupiled；　insanely　green。
　　〃I　don't　even　know　how　to　say　yes。〃
　　Their　hands　found　each　other　and　intertwined。　Zach　squeezed　Trevor's　fingers；　brought　them　to　his　lips　and　kissed　them。　His　tongue　slid　over　the　ball　of　Trevor's　thumb；　soft　as　velvet。　Trevor　felt　something　uncoil　deep　inside　him；　some　unfamiliar　warmth　seeping　like　liquor　through　his　innards。　Only　it　didn't　dull　his　senses；　it　heightened　them；　he　was　aware　of　every　inch　of　his　skin；　every　hair　on　his　body；　every　pore　and　cell。　All　of　them　were　straining　toward　Zach；　thirsting　for　him。
　　Then　they　were　kissing　again；　carefully　at　first；　learning　the　shape　and　texture　of　each　other's　lips；　testing　the　sharpness　of　the　teeth　behind　them。　Trevor　felt　Zach's　hands　sliding　down　his　back　and　straying　beneath　the　waistband　of　his　sweatpants；　cupping　his　buttocks　and　squeezing；　moving　down　to　the　sensitive　juncture　of　his　thighs　and　lightly　stroking　the　downy　hairs　there。　He　had　an　erection　for　the　first　time　in　as　long　as　he　could　remember；　had　almost　forgotten　what　one　felt　like。　It　felt　a　hell　of　a　lot　better　snuggled　into　the　warm　hollow　of　someone's　hipbone；　that　was　for　sure。
　　It's　too　fast！　said　a　panicky　voice　in　his　mind。　And　too　dangerous！　He'll　drink　your　juices；　taste　your　brain；　crack　your　soul　open　like　an　egg！
　　Hell；　I　think　I　want　him　to　do　all　that。
　　The　thought　released　Trevor；　gave　him　abandon。　He　sucked　at　Zach's　tongue　and　pulled　it　deep　into　his　mouth。　You　became　so　used　to　the　texture　and　mass　of　your　own　tongue　that　you　seldom　noticed　it　nestling　in　the　cradle　of　your　lower　jawbone；　pressing　against　your　teeth。　Having　another　tongue　there　felt　alien　at　first；　like　trying　to　swallow　some　small　slippery　animal；　a　baby　eel　or　perhaps　an　energetic　oyster。
　　Their　hands　roamed　the　planes　and　hollows　of　one　another's　bodies。　Now　Zach's　clever　fingers　were　teasing　Trevor's　nipples；　plugging　into　unfamiliar　nerve　endings；　webs　of　sensation　that　seemed　to　radiate　from　his　chest　up　his　spinal　cord　and　into　his　brain；　down　through　the　pit　of　his　stomach　to　his　aching　penis。　Never　mind　when　he　had　last　had　a　boner；　he　couldn't　remember　ever　having　had　one　that　felt　like　this。
　　Then　Zach's　hand　slid　down　to　cup　it　through　the　soft　cloth；　and　Zach's　lips　kissed　a　slow　trail　down　his　chin；　along　the　curve　of　his　throat　and　the　hollow　of　his　collarbone；　and　wrapped　hot　and　wet　around　his　left　nipple。　Trevor　felt　his　heart　lurch；　his　mind　begin　to　dissolve　in　pleasure。　He　choked　back　a　throatful　of　saliva。　〃Don't！〃
　　Zach's　mouth　paused　but　did　not　go　away。　His　hand　moved　to　the　ridge　of　Trevor's　hipbone　and　squeezed　gently。　〃Why　not？〃
　　Trevor　caught　his　breath；　searched　for　a　reply。　〃It　hurts；〃　he　said　at　last；　though　that　was　not　precisely　what　he　meant。
　　〃You　mean　it　feels　too　good？〃
　　Silver　motes　swarmed　in　the　air　above　his　face；　his　vision　was　drowning　in　red　filigree。　Trevor　closed　his　eyes　and　nodded。
　　〃Sometimes　you　just　have　to　ride　it。　But　we　can　slow　down。〃　Zach　shrugged。　〃I'll　kiss　you　all　day　if　that's　what　you　want。〃　He　lowered　his　face　to　Trevor's；　brushed　his　lips　ever　so　lightly　across　Trevor's。　Trevor　felt　tears　starting　again　behind　his　eyelids　for　the　kindness　of　this　boy。
　　Do　you　want　to　do　this？　he　thought。　You　were　finally　able　to　e　back　to　this　house；　to　e　home。　You　haven't　had　that　damn　dream　in　two　nights。　You're　on　the　verge　of　finding　whatever　is　left　here　for　you　to　find。　Do　you　want　to　add　this　to　the　equation？
　　But　he　was　sick　of　listening　to　the　voices　in　his　head　and　the　slow　settling　of　empty　rooms。　There　were　other　things　to　hear。　Zach's　breathing　and　heartbeat；　the　whisper　of　Zach's　hands　against　the　slight　stubble　on　Trevor's　face；　the　liquid　sound　their　mouths　made　together。　Zach　lay　half　on　top　of　him；　holding　him　loosely；　kissing　him　languorously。　It　became　impossible　to　think　of　anything　but　tastes　and　textures。
　　They　kissed　dreamily；　then　searchingly；　then　with　increasing　urgency。　Then　Zach　was　nuzzling　his　neck　and　chest　again；　but　this　time　Trevor　wasn't　scared。　He　arched　his　back；　twined　his　fingers　into　Zach's　thick　soft　hair。　Zach's　fingers　strayed　again　to　the　band　of　Trevor's　sweatpants；　found　the　drawstring　and　deftly　untied　the　bow。　His　lips　moved　across　the　concavity　of　Trevor's　stomach；　paused　just　above　the　cloth。　Trevor　thought　his　penis　might　simply　explode　soon。　He　imagined　shimmering　globules　of　semen　dripping　from　the　ceiling；　nestling　in　Zach's　hair　like　diamonds　on　blue…black　velvet。
　　Zach　looked　up　at　Trevor　and　suddenly　his　serious；　almost…scared　face　split　into　a　wide　dazzling　grin。
　　〃This　feels　so　good；〃　he　said；　〃you　won't　even　believe　it。〃
　　He　tugged　the　cloth　away　and　kissed　the　tip　of　Trevor's　penis；　then　took　the　whole　throbbing　burning　thing　into　his　mouth。　He　was　right。　All　at　once　there　was　no　more　house；　no　childhood　room；　no　dirty　mattress　under　Trevor's　back。　There　was　only　this　moment　and　this　boy；　only　the　smooth　glide　of　saliva　and　fingertips　and　tongue；　only　the　deep　silken　tunnel　of　Zach's　throat　surrounding　him。　It　was　like　nothing　else　ever。
　　He　felt　a　stream　of　pure　white　energy　blazing　along　his　spine；　sending　twin　bolts　into　his　balls　and　his　brain；　filling　every　cell　with　light。　His　scalp　and　the　palms　of　his　hands　tingled　madly。　He　felt　his　pores　open　and　bead　with　sweat；　heard　himself　moaning　and　Zach　moaning　muffled　encouragement　back　at　him。　Does　he　really　want　me　to　e　in　his　mouth？　Trevor　wondered。　Can　I　do　that？　…　can　I…　OMIGODThought　deserted　him　again。　He　felt　like　a　man　made　of　television　static；　of　a　million　roaring；　hissing　silver　dots。　Then　the　stream　of　energy　filled　him　pletely　and　husked　him　out　clean。　A　year's　pain　seemed　to　leave　his　body　as　he　came；　ebbing　from　his　balls；　leaking　out　of　his　eyes；　expelling　from　his　lungs　in　short　harsh　gasps。
　　For　several　minutes　Zach　stayed　where　he　was；　his　mouth　and　hands　still　working　gently。　Then　he　crawled　up　and　rested　his　head　next　to　Trevor's　on　the　pillow。　His　lips　were　swollen；　smudged　with　fresh　blood　and　milky　traces　of　semen。　The　light　sheen　of　sweat　on　his　face　turned　his　pale　skin　nearly　opalescent。
　　Zach　took　handfuls　of　Trevor's　hair　and　pulled　it　over　their　faces。　The　effect　was　like　being　inside　a　sheer　tent　or　a　tawny　ginger　cocoon。　Their　foreheads　and　the　tips　of　their　noses　touched。　Trevor　could　taste　his　own　e　in　Zach's　mouth　when　they　kissed；　a　f