pzb.drawingblood-第54部分

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　　As　soon　as　they　got　home；　they　had　gone　through　the　house　turning　on　lights　in　all　the　safe　rooms…the　kitchen；　the　big　bedroom；　Trevor's　bedroom；　the　studio。　Even　the　hall　light　was　burning。　Though　it　was　well　past　midnight；　the　house　felt　almost　cozy。
　　Zach　couldn't　stop　talking　about　the　show。　〃As　soon　as　I　hit　that　stage；〃　he　told　Trevor；　〃I　felt　like　I　was　born　there。　I　haven't　felt　born　to　anything　since　the　first　time　I　touched　a　puter。　What　am　I　gonna　do；　Trev？　Maybe　I　could　disguise　myself　and　bee　a　famous　rock　star。　Like　the　guy　in　that　movie　Angel　Heart；　but　in　reverse；　without　amnesia。　It'd　be　the　perfect　cover！〃
　　〃But　the　guy　in　Angel　Heart　sold　his　soul　to　the　Devil。〃
　　〃I　don't　have　a　problem　with　that。〃　Zach　fingered　a　mushroom　cap；　watched　a　few　dark　spores　sift　onto　the　tabletop。　〃You　know；　I　really　want　to　eat　some　of　these。〃
　　〃Eat　'em；　then。〃
　　〃Are　you　going　to　do　any？〃
　　〃Well　。　。　。〃　Trevor　shifted　in　his　chair。　〃What　exactly　happens？　Is　it　like　getting　stoned？〃
　　〃No；　it's　much　more　intense。　Scarier；　your　first　time。　But　you'll　see　all　kinds　of　beautiful　hallucinations　and　feel　all　kinds　of　weird　physical　sensations　and　have　fucked…up　thoughts　and　ideas。〃
　　〃Sounds　kind　of　like　sex。〃
　　〃We　can　do　that　too。〃
　　〃Do　you　think　it　could　make　me　see　things　that　are　always　here；　but　that　I　can't　see　now？〃
　　〃Like　what？　You　mean　here　in　the　house？〃
　　Trevor　nodded。
　　Zach　took　a　deep　breath。　〃Trev　。。。　I　don't　think　we　ought　to　stay　in　the　house　too　long　after　we　dose。　I　thought　we　could　go　over　to　Terry's。　They　ate　theirs　at　the　club；　so　they'll　be　up　all　night；　and　I　bet　Terry　would　let　us　use　his　spare　room。　I　don't　know　if　I'm　into　tripping　here。〃
　　Trevor　just　looked　at　him。
　　〃What？〃　said　Zach　at　last。
　　〃This　is　a　hallucinogen　we're　talking　about；　right？　A　mind…expanding；　consciousness…altering　drug？〃
　　Zach　nodded。
　　〃Okay　then。　Keeping　in　mind　what　I　came　here　for；　what　I'm　living　in　this　house　for；　do　you　really　think　I'd　consider　doing　it　anywhere　else？〃
　　〃I　guess　not；〃　Zach　said　quietly。　〃But；　Trevor；　I　think　it's　a　real　bad　idea。〃
　　〃What　do　you　mean？〃
　　〃You　know　I'm　going　to　have　to　leave　soon。　And　I　know　you　must　have　at　least　thought　about　going　with　me。〃
　　〃So？〃
　　〃So　maybe　it　doesn't　want　you　to　leave。〃
　　〃Maybe　I　don't　want　to。〃
　　The　words　stung　like　a　slap。　〃If　you　stay　here；〃　Zach　began；　then　had　to　stop　and　take　a　deep　breath。　His　voice　had　nearly　cracked。　〃If　you　stay　here；　it'll　be　hard　to　get　back　in　touch　with　you。　I　might　not　be　able　to　do　it。〃
　　〃You　could　leave　a　message　for　me　at　the　club。〃
　　〃If　They　find　out　I　was　ever　in　this　town；　They　could　tap　the　club's　phone。　They　could　make　trouble　for　Kinsey。　They　could　tap　Terry's　phone。　They　could　harass　the　fuck　out　of　you。　A　lot　of　real　scary　people　are　after　me；　Trev。　I've　already　left　too　many　traces　here。　I　have　to　disappear　for　good　now；　and　you　might　never　be　able　to　find　me　again。　Is　that　what　you　want？〃
　　Trevor　had　been　staring　stubbornly　at　the　table。　Now　he　looked　up　at　Zach。　His　eyes　shimmered　with　tears　about　to　spill　over。　〃No。〃
　　〃Neither　do　I。〃　Is　it　true？　thought　Zach。　Am　I　telling　him　this　in　good　faith？　If　I'm　going　on　the　run　forever；　do　I　really　want　to　take　someone　with　me？
　　And　the　answer　was　a　resounding　yes。　Because　he　not　only　wanted　to；　he　had　to。　If　he　didn't　take　Trevor；　he　might　as　well　leave　his　brain　or　his　heart　behind。　It　was　that　simple；　that　was　how　deeply　people　became　grafted　into　you　when　you　loved　them　like　this。
　　A　part　of　Zach　still　hated　that。
　　A　part　of　him　was　grateful　that　he　had　at　least　found　the　right　Siamese　twin。
　　And　a　part　of　him　rejoiced　that　this　was　possible　after　all。
　　Their　fingers　intertwined　on　the　tabletop。　They　gripped　hands　tightly　for　a　moment；　both　fighting　back　tears。　〃You　could　stay　here　for　a　while；　then　go　over　to　Terry's；〃　Trevor　said。　〃I　wouldn't　mind　being　alone。〃
　　〃No　way。　You　don't　want　to　trip　alone　in　this　house。〃
　　〃I　don't　mind。〃
　　〃You　would。〃　Zach　pulled　back　to　look　into　Trevor's　eyes。　〃Believe　me。　You　would。　You　may　be　able　to　deal　with　the　house；　but　I　know　psilocybin。　I'm　not　letting　you　do　that。〃
　　〃Then　stay。〃
　　〃Okay。〃　Zach　let　his　head　fall　back　onto　Trevor's　shoulder。　I've　just　agreed　to　trip　on　mushrooms　in　a　haunted　house；　he　thought。　The　Grand　Adventures　of　Zachary　Bosch　。　。　。　reel　three。
　　〃So；〃　said　Trevor；　〃how　do　we　do　it？　Do　we　just　eat　them？〃
　　〃Yes。　And　I　warn　you；　they　taste　fucking　horrible。〃
　　Trevor　picked　up　a　blue…streaked　stem　and　nibbled　experimentally　at　it。　〃They　don't　seem　to　taste　like　much　of　anything。〃
　　〃Just　you　wait。〃
　　Zach　got　up　and　refilled　their　water　glasses；　then　began　to　portion　out　the　mushrooms。　There　were　seven　caps　and　five　stems。　The　caps　were　the　most　potent　and　shittiest…tasting　part。　He　put　three　caps　and　three　stems　in　one　pile；　four　caps　and　two　stems　in　the　other。
　　〃Now　what？〃　Trevor　asked。
　　〃Getting　nervous？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Then　let's　eat。〃
　　Each　of　them　picked　up　a　cap；　put　it　in　his　mouth；　and　began　to　chew。　Zach's　cap　splintered　and　grew　soggy　in　his　mouth。　The　dry　dead　flavor　trickled　between　his　teeth；　over　his　tongue。　He　washed　it　down　with　a　gulp　of　water。
　　〃I　see　what　you　mean；〃　said　Trevor　after　a　few　seconds。
　　〃You　don't　have　to　chew　them　all　the　way。　Just　soften　'em　up　a　little　and　swallow　the　chunks。〃
　　〃Now　you　tell　me。〃　Trevor　drained　his　water　glass　and　got　up　for　more。　〃God；　that's　disgusting。　It's　like　chewing　on　mummified　flesh。〃
　　〃Better　lose　that　thought。　You've　got　five　more　pieces　to　eat。〃
　　Crunching；　grimacing；　and　swigging　water；　they　choked　down　the　rest　of　their　mushrooms；　then　brushed　their　teeth　at　the　sink。　〃How　long　does　it　take？〃　Trevor　asked。
　　〃Twenty；　thirty　minutes。　Shall　we　smoke　a　joint　and　get　in　bed？〃
　　〃Are　you　sure　we　ought　to　be　stoned？〃
　　〃Yes。〃　Zach　nodded　vigorously。　〃Under　the　circumstances；　I'm　very　sure。〃
　　
　　Trevor　felt　the　first　tickling　tendrils　of　the　drug　twenty　minutes　later。　Zach　was　lying　half　on　top　of　him　with　his　head　on　Trevor's　chest。　They　had　been　talking　in　the　darkened　bedroom；　a　meandering　conversation　with　pools　of　calm　clear　silence　here　and　there。　It　was　during　one　of　these　silences　that　the　sensation　seemed　to　begin　in　Trevor's　stomach　and　spread；　shivering　through　his　guts；　swirling　slyly　through　his　blood；　up　his　spine；　into　his　brain。
　　He　felt　Zach's　lips　move　against　his　chest。　〃Do　you　feel　it？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃Are　you　hallucinating？〃
　　〃I　don't　think　so。〃　Trevor　looked　at　the　shadows　cast　on　the　ceiling。　Veins　of　pink　and　purple　light　were　pulsing　through　them；　beginning　to　creep　down　the　walls。　〃Well；　maybe。〃
　　He　pulled　Zach　up　to　him；　cupped　Zach's　head　between　his　hands；　and　kissed　his　closed　eyelids。　The　smudges　of　shadow　beneath　Zach's　eyes　were　dark　with　eyeliner　and　fatigue。　Trevor　brushed　his　lips　across　them；　felt　Zach　shiver。　He　kissed　Zach's　forehead；　the　narrow　bridge　of　his　nose　and　its　elegant　pointed　tip；　his　willing　mouth。
　　Kissing　soon　became　a　hallucinatory　experience　in　itself。　The　interplay　of　their　tongues　was　like　a　dance。　Zach's　mouth　tasted　of　mint　toothpaste　and　pot　smoke　and　what　Trevor　had　e　to　think　of　as　his　lover's　own　flavor；　peppery　and　faintly　sweet。　Zach's　very　skin　seemed　to　undulate　against　him　at　every　point　of　contact。　Trevor　imagined　it　being　soft　as　warm　caramel　and　flowing　over　him；　surrounding　him。　Whether　Zach's　body　was　taking　him　in　or　being　assimilated　itself　would　not　matter。　Their　flesh　would　mingle；　their　bones　would　merge　into　one　plex　cradle　surrounding　the　stew　of　their　viscera。　What　a　drawing　it　would　make！
　　Now　Zach　was　running　his　tongue　along　the　arc　of　Trevor's　collarbone；　leaving　a　trail　of　warm　wetness　that　quickly　turned　cold　as　it　evaporated。　He　rubbed　his　face　on　Trevor's　chest；　pressed　his　lips　into　the　hollow　just　below　Trevor's　ribs。　Trevor　felt　that　bright　band　of　energy　connecting　them　again；　as　elusive　and　yet　as　constant　as　the　particles　and　waves　that　made　up　light；　sound；　matter。
　　The　room　was　swarming　around　him。　His　drawings　waved　gently　from　the　walls。　The　mattress　felt　insubstantial　under　his　back；　as　if　it　were　suspended　above　a　great　gaping　hole　that　went　through　the　floor　and　the　foundation　of　the　house；　as　if　it　could　dissolve　at　any　moment　and　leave　him　plunging　forever；　alone　in　a　numb　black　void；　a　blank　universe。　Trevor　gasped　and　clutched　Zach　tight。　It　was　beginning　in　earnest。
　　〃It's　okay；〃　Zach　soothed　him。　〃These　are　strong　'shrooms；　that's　all。　Keep　hanging　on　to　me　and　you'll　be　fine。〃
　　〃Do　you　。　。　。　can　you　。　。　。〃　Trevor　had　no　idea　what　he　wanted　to　ask。　His　teeth　began　to　chatter。
　　〃Trev；　just　relax　and　go　with　it。　Look　at　the　lights。　Everything　feels　good。　I　love　you。〃
　　〃I　love　you　too　。　。　。　but　it's　so　strange　。　。　。〃
　　〃It's　supposed　to　be　strange。　That's　why　we　do　drugs；　they　make　us　feel　different。　Don't　fight　it。〃
　　Zach　stroked　Trevor's　hair；　rubbed　his　arms　and　shoulders　until　the　muscles　began　to　unbunch。　Trevor's　hands　had　curled　into　loose　fists。　Zach　coaxed　them　open；　kissed　the　mirror…image　maps　of　the　palms；　the　pencil…calluses；　the　intricate　whorls　of　the　fingertips。　He　took　a　finger　into　his　mouth　and　sucked　softly；　heard　Trevor's　breath　catch。
　　〃Your　tongue　feels　like　velvet。〃
　　〃Your　hands　taste　like　seawater。〃
　　Zach　kissed　the　fold　of　Trevor's　left　wrist；　then　ran　his　tongue　along　the　forearm　and　into　the　soft　hollow　of　the　elbow。　Trevor　sighed　。and　relaxed　a　little；　though　his　pulse　still　beat　like　a　frightened　bird　against　Zach's　tongue。　The　veins　of　the　inner　elbow：　the　junkie　veins；　the　veins　to　sever　if　you　wanted　to　bleed　to　death。
　　Zach　slid　his　mouth　down　Trevor's　arm　and　kissed　the　raised　white　lines　of　his　scars。　He　had　hesitated　to　do　this　before；　unsure　if　Trevor　would　mind。　Now　the　scars'　rippled　texture　was　so　appealing　that　he　couldn't　help　himself。　Zach　imagined　the　razor　going　through　Trevor's　flesh　smooth　as　butter；　Trevor's　icy　eyes　screaming　out　of　his　impassive　face　as　he　watched　the　blood　well　up。
　　Trevor　made　a　soft　moaning　sound　deep　in　his　throat。　Zach　suck