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第125部分

time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第125部分


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  Lazarus decided to break cover。 〃I love you; Maureen。〃
  
  〃I love you; Theodore。 In spite of my tears; you have made me happy。 By letting me unburden myself…and I should not have; you are going to war; too。 I feel almost married to you now; by telling you things I haven't been able to talk about with anyone else。 If you had put me on the grass and had me
  
  …it would have been sweet and just what I planned。 But this is even closer。 And sweeter。 A woman can open her body to a man without opening her mind。 I had two babies by Brian
  
  第78节
  
  … before I learned to open my mind to him the way I have to you tonight。〃
  
  〃Perhaps our minds are much alike; Maureen。 Your father thinks we are cousins。〃 …
  
  〃No; he doesn't; darling; he thinks you're my half brother。〃
  
  〃Did he say that?〃
  
  〃And I think so; too。 By things Father did not say; dea…r Theodore。 By how broken up he was when he misunderstood you about your intention to enlist。 By the way he insisted that we must claim a service star for you。 I feel sure he is right
  
  and I want to believe it。 Yes; that makes what I tried to do to you dreadfully sinful in some people's eyes。 Incest。 I did not care a whit。 Since I'm pregnant; it could not possibly cause harm to a baby 。 。 and that's the only thing that could make incest wrong。〃 …
  
  (How to tell her? How much to tell her? But I must make her believe me。) 〃Your church would call it sinful。〃
  
  〃I don't give a fig for the church! Theodore; I'm not devout; I'm a freethinker; like Father。 Church is a good atmosphere for children…and gives me a proper appearance as a respectable wife and mother…that's all! 'Sin' would not stop me; I don't believe in sin the way the church means it。 Sex isn't sin; sex is never sin。 What would stop me would be a chance of getting pregnant by someone other than Brian…but I am pregnant。 That you are my half brother didn't cause … me a woment's fret; it just made me more anxious to tell you a warrior's good…bye。〃
  
  … 〃Maureen; I'm not your half brother。〃
  
  〃Are you sure? Even if you're not; you are still my warrior
  
  …I was as proud as Father when you volunteered。〃
  
  〃I'm your warrior; be sure of that。 But 1 need to know something。 This man Nancy may marry… Is he a Howard?'
  
  〃What did you say?〃
  
  〃Is he on the approved list of the Ira Howard Foundation?〃
  
  He heard her catch her breath。 〃Where did you hear of the Foundation?' …
  
  〃'Life is short…'〃… …
  
  〃'But the years are long;' 〃 she answered。
  
  'Not 〃While the Evil Days e Not。〃'〃
  
  〃Goodness! I… I think…I'm going to cry again!〃
  
  〃Stop it。 What is the young man's name?〃
  
  …〃Jonathan Weatheral。〃
  
  〃…of the Weatheral…Sperling line。 Yes; I remember。 …Maureen; I am… not 'Ted Bronson。' I am Lazarus Long of the Johnson Family。 Your family。 I am descended from you。〃
  
  For …several moments she seemed not to breathe。 Then she said softly; 〃I think I am losing my mind。〃 …
  
  〃No; my gallant love; you have as strong and sane a mind as I have ever met。 Let me explain because I… must tell you
  
  … something and you must believe me。 Have you read a novel by Mr。 Herbert George Wells called The… Time Machine?〃
  
  〃Why; yes。 Father has a copy。〃
  
  〃That's me; Maureen。 Captain Lazarus Long; Time Traveler。〃 …
  
  〃But that book… I thought it was just a 。 。 a…〃 〃Just a story。 It is。 But it won't stay that way。 Oh; not quite
  
  the way Mr。 Wells visualized it。 But that's what I am; a visitor from a future time。 I didn't intend to let anyone suspect this; that's why I claimed to be a foundling。 Not only is it hard to psove; but any attempt would interfere with my purpose
  
  …which is simply to visit this time and observe it。 Might even
  
  … get … me locked up as crazy。 So I've been careful to keep my mask … on; as… careful as…well; as you are; In talking to those
  
  … Simpsons。 In not letting your children see you cry。 You and I do it the same way。 Audacity 。 。 plus never telling lies we can be caught in。〃
  
  〃Theodore; I think you believe this。〃
  
  〃Meaning that I sound sincere but must be crazy。〃 〃No; no; dear; I… Yes; that's what I meant。 I'm sorry;〃 〃No reason to be sorry; it does sound crazy。 But I'm not
  
  afraid that you will have me sent to St。 Joe; I'm as safe… with you as you are with me。 But I must find some way to convince… you that I am telling the truth 。 。 because I am about
  
  … to tell you something you must believe。 Or I have dropped~ mymask to no point。〃 …
  
  He stopped to think。 How to prove it? ome prediction? It would have to be very short range to… serve the only purpose he had in breaking cover。 But he hadn't briefed himself on
  
  this year; he hadn't intended to arrtve until 1919 and kneu so little about the years before 1919 that he had even mixel up the date that the United States got into … this war。 Lazarus damn your sloppy ways; the next time you make a time tril you're going to memorize everything about the era thai
  
  … Athene can give you…and a wide margin on both sides!
  
  Woodie's memories were no help; Lazarus did not ever recall having been taken to Electric Park by a sergeant ir uniform。 Self…centered brat! Electric Park he remembered Woodie Smith had gone there many times。 But no visit stooc out in his mind。 …
  
  〃Maureen; maybe you can think of some way I can provc to you that I'm from the future…something that will con vince you。 But this is why I had to tell you: Brian…your hus~ band; my ancestor…will e back unharmed。 He's going tc go through battles。 Shells will fall around him; shots wif whistle past his ears…but none will touch him。〃
  
  Mrs。 Smi~gasped。 Then she said slowly; 〃Theodore h~doyouk~v1〃
  
  〃Because you two are my ancestors。 I couldn't memorize the Foundation's records on all the Howards …of today but I did study the files on my own ancestors; ones I might have a chance to meet。 You。 Brian。 Brian's parents in Cincinnati。 And I figured out that Brian must have met you because he had attended Rolla; then found you on a Missouri list of eligibles…not the Ohio list…that the Foundation gave him。 That's certainly something I didn't learn from you or Brian or Ira; and your children probably don't know it。 Well; perhaps Nancy does; she's fflle4 out her own questionnaire。 Hasn't she?〃
  
  〃Why; yes; months ago。 Then it is true; Theodore。 Or should I call you 'Lazarus'?〃
  
  〃Call me anything~you like; darling。 But I still haven't proved anything。 Just that I have had access to the Foundation's files…which might have been last year; not in the future。 We're still looking for proof。 Mmm 。 。 I know a proof for a few months from now…but I must make you believe me tonight。 So you will have no more tears on your pillow。 And I don't know how。〃
  
  He caressed her thighs; tpuched her curls。 〃Here inside you is proof that won't show up in time。 This last baby Brian put into your sweet belly… He's a boy; dearest ancestress; and you and Brian will name him 'Theodore Ira'…whi~h~ flatters me enormously。 When I read his name in the records; I didn't
  
  … know that he was my namesake;…as I hadn't picked my assumed name then。〃
  
  She squeezed his hand with her thighs and sighed。 〃I want to believe you。 But suppose Brian wants to name him Joseph? Or Josephine?〃
  
  〃'Josephine' is not a name for a boy。 Darling; Brian will name his war baby for the other two stars on your service flag; this war means a lot to him。 He'll probably suggest it himself
  
  …I don't know。 I just know that 'Theodore Ira' is the name you will register with the… Foundation。 My other ancestors… Adele Johnson; of course; your mother and Ira's wife。 Lives in St。 Louis。 Left him around the time you got married but didn't divorce him…which probably irked him; I don't think Ira is a man to be celibate simply because his wife leaves but won't turn him loose。〃
  
  〃He's not; dear。 I'm certain Father has a…well; a ?istress; and goes to see her some nights when he is supposed to be at that 'chess club'…and it's not a chess club; it's a pool hail。 I go along with the pretense because he calls it that in …front of the children。〃
  
  〃He does play chess there。〃
  
  〃Father plays a fine game of billiards; too。 Go ahead; darling…Lazarus。 I'm willing to believe。 Maybe we'll find some… thing。〃
  
  〃Well; I don't think I'll look up your mother; I don't think I would get along with a woman who thinks sex is something to 'put up with。'〃 …
  
  〃I got along with Mother only by lying to her。 Father reared me far more than she did。 I was his favorite。 He let it show; which is why I'm careful not to let it show with Woodrow。 Go on; Theodore。 Lazarus。〃
  
  〃That's all of my ancestors you are related to。 Except one。 Our stowaway。 Maureen; I'm descended from you and Brian through Wodie。〃
  
  She gasped。 〃Really? Oh; I hope it's true!〃
  
  〃True as taxes; beloved。 And it may have saved his life。 I've never been closer to infanticide than I was when we
  
  found him in the back seat。〃…
  
  She giggled。 〃Darling; I felt the same way。 But I won't; let anger show in my voice even if I'm about to switch a child。〃
  
  〃I hope I didn't show anger。 But I felt it。 Beloved; I was so hard I ached…until we found Woodrow。 Honey love; I was rarin' to go I〃
  
  …〃And I was just as ready! Oh; Theodore…Lazarus…it's sc
  
  … sweet to be open with you。 Uh 。 ; yes; you're …quite harr now。〃 …
  
  〃Easy there!…~…don't make me climb the curb。 I have… beei ever since we left the house except when I forced it down But the one Woodie ruined was bigger and better。〃
  
  〃Size isn't important; Theodore…Lazarus; a woman must fi any size。 Father told me that long ago and taught me exercise for it…and I never told Brian; I let him think that was simply how I am…and accepted his pliments smugly。 I stil exercise regularly…because my birth canal has been stretcher again and again and again by babies' s

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