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my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕-及102何蛍

弌傍�� my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕 忖方�� 耽匈4000忖

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^I wasn¨t�察院�I said。 
^What about the one in my Enishte¨s book�拭院�
^I didn¨t make that one either。 ̄ 
^Based on the style of the horse�察�however�察�it¨s been determined that you¨re 
the one who drew it�察院�he said。 ^Furthermore�察�it was Master Osman who came 
to this conclusion。 ̄ 
^But I have no style whatsoever�察院�I said。 ^I¨m not saying this out of pride to 
counter the latest tastes。 Neither am I saying so to prove my innocence。 For 
me�察�having a style would be worse than being a murderer。 ̄ 
^You have a distinct quality that distinguishes you from the old masters and 
the others�察院�said Black。 
I smiled at him。 He started to relate things that I¨m sure you all know by 
now。  I  listened  intently  to  how  Our  Sultan�察 �in  consultation  with  the  Head 
Treasurer�察�sought a solution to the murders�察�to the matter of Master Osman¨s 
three days�察�to the ^courtesan method�察院�to the peculiarity in the noses of the 
horses and to Black¨s miraculous admittance to the Royal Private Quarters for 
the sake of actually examining those superlative books。 There are moments in 
all our lives when we realize�察�even as  we experience them�察�that we are living 
through  events  we  will  never  forget�察 �even  long  afterward。  A  melancholy  rain 
was  falling。  As  if  upset  by  the  rain�察 �Butterfly  mournfully  gripped  his  dagger。 
Olive�察 �the  backside  of  whose  armor  was  white  with  flour�察 �was  courageously 
forging into the heart of the dervish lodge�察�lamp in hand。 These master artists�察�
whose  shadows  roamed  the  walls  like  ghosts�察 �were  my  brethren�察 �and  how  I 
loved them� �I was delighted to be a miniaturist。 
^Could you appreciate your good fortune as you gazed at the great works of 
the  old  masters  for  days  on  end  with  Master  Osman  at  your  side�拭院 �I  asked 
Black。 ^Did he kiss you�拭�Did he caress your handsome face�拭�Did he hold your 
hand�拭�Were you awed by his talent and knowledge�拭院�
^There among the great works of the old masters he showed me how you 
had a style�察院�said Black。 ^He taught me how the hidden fault of   ̄style` isn¨t 
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something  the  artist  selects  of  his  own  volition�察 �but  is  determined  by  the 
artist¨s past and his forgotten memories。 He also showed me how these secret 
faults�察�weaknesses and defects�察�at one time such a source of shame they were 
concealed so we wouldn¨t be estranged from the old masters�察�will henceforth 
emerge  to  be  praised  as  ^personal  characteristics¨  or   ̄style�察亜 �because  the 
European  masters  have  spread  them  over  the  world。  Henceforth�察 �thanks  to 
fools  who  take  pride  in  their  own  shortings�察 �the  world  will  be  a  more 
colorful and more stupid and�察�of course�察�a much more imperfect place。 ̄ 
The fact that Black confidently believed in what he said proved that he was 
one of the new breed of fools。 
^Was  Master  Osman  able  to  explain  why�察 �for  years�察 �I  drew  hundreds  of 
horses with regular nostrils in Our Sultan¨s books�拭院�I asked。 
^It was due to the love and beatings he gave all of you in your childhood。 
Because  he  was  both  father  and  beloved  to  you  all�察 �he  doesn¨t  see  that  he 
associates all of you with himself and each of you with the others。 He didn¨t 
want  you  each  to  have  a  style  of  your  own�察 �he  wanted  the  royal  atelier  as  a 
whole to have a style。 Because of the awesome shadow he cast over all of you�察�
you  forgot  what  came  from  within�察 �the  imperfections�察 �the  elements  and 
differences  that  fell  outside  the  confines  of  standard  forms。  Only  when  you 
painted for other books and other pages�察�which Master Osman¨s eyes would 
never see�察�did you draw the horse that had lain within you all those years。 ̄ 
^My mother�察�may she rest in peace�察�was more intelligent than my father�察院�I 
said。 ^One night I was at home�察�in tears�察�determined never again to return to 
the  workshop  because  I  was  daunted  not  only  by  Master  Osman¨s  beatings�察�
but  by  those  of  the  other  harsh  and  irritable  masters  and  by  those  of  the 
division  head  who  always  intimidated  us  with  a  ruler。  In  consolation�察 �my 
dearly departed mother advised me that there were two types of people in the 
world�此�those who were cowed and crushed by their childhood beatings�察�forever 
downtrodden�察�she said�察�because the beatings had the desired effect of killing 
the inner devils�察�and those fortunate ones for whom the beatings frightened 
and tamed the devil within without killing him off。 Though the latter group 
would never forget these painful childhood memories!she¨d warned me not 
to tell this to anybody!the beatings would in time enable them to develop 
cunning�察 �to  fathom  the  unknown�察 �to  make  friends�察 �to  identify  enemies�察 �to 
sense  plots  being  hatched  behind  their  backs  and�察 �let  me  hasten  to  add�察 �to 
paint better than anyone else。 Because I wasn¨t able to draw the branches of a 
tree  harmoniously�察 �Master  Osman  would  slap  me  so  hard  that�察 �amid  bitter 
tears�察�forests would burgeon before me。 After angrily striking me in the head 
408 
 
because I couldn¨t see the errors at the bottoms of pages�察�he lovingly took up a 
mirror and placed it before the page so I could see the work as if for the first 
time。 Then pressing his cheek to mine�察�he so lovingly identified the mistakes 
that magically appeared in the mirror image of the picture that I never forgot 
either the love or the ritual。 The morning after a night spent weeping in my 
bed�察�my pride violated because he chastised me with a ruler before everyone�察�
he came and kissed my arms so tenderly that I passionately knew I¨d one day 
bee a legendary miniaturist。 Nay�察�it was not I who drew that horse。 ̄ 
^We�察院 �Black  was  referring  to  Stork  and  himself�察  �will  search  the  dervish 
house  for  the  last  picture  which  was  stolen  by  the  accursed  man  who 
murdered my Enishte。 Did you ever see that last picture�拭院�
^It  is  nothing  that  could  be  accepted  by  Our  Sultan�察 �illuminators  like  us 
bound to the old masters or by Muslims bound to their faith�察院�I said and fell 
silent。 
My statement made him more eager。 He and Stork began their search of the 
premises�察�turning the whole place upside down。 A few times�察�simply to make 
their  work  easier�察 �I  went  to  them。  In  one  of  the  dervish  cells  with  a  leaky 
ceiling�察 �I  pointed  out  the  hole  in  the  floor  so  they  wouldn¨t  fall  and  could 
search  it  if  they  so  desired。  I  gave  them  the  large  key  to  the  small  room  in 
which  the  sheikh  lived  thirty  years  ago�察 �before  the  adherents  of  this  lodge 
joined  up  with  the  Bektashis  and  dispersed。  They  entered  eagerly�察 �but  when 
they saw that an entire wall was missing and the room was open to the rain�察�
they didn¨t even bother to search it。 
It pleased me that Butterfly wasn¨t with them�察�but if evidence implicating 
me were found�察�he�察�too�察�would join their ranks。 Stork was of the same mind as 
Black�察�who was afraid that Master Osman would turn us over to the torturers�察�
and  maintained  that  we  must  support  one  another  and  must  be  united  in 
confronting the Head Treasurer。 I sensed Black was not only motivated by the 
desire  to  give  Shekure  a  genuine  wedding  present  by  finding  his  Enisthe¨s 
murderer�察 �he  also  intended  to  set  Ottoman  miniaturists  on  the  path  of 
European masters by paying them with the Sultan¨s money in order to finish 
his Enishte¨s book in imitation of the Franks ��which was not only sacrilegious�察�
but ridiculous��。 I also understood�察�with some certainty�察�that at the root of this 
scheme was Stork¨s desire to be rid of us and even of Master Osman�察�for he 
dreamt  of  being  Head  Illuminator  and  ��since  everyone  guessed  that  Master 
Osman  preferred  Butterfly��  he  was  prepared  to  try  anything  to  increase  his 
chances。  I  was  momentarily  confused。  Listening  to  the  rain�察 �I  deliberated  at 
length。 Next�察�like a man who breaks away from the crowd and struggles to give 
409 
 
his petition to the sovereign and grand vizier as they pass on horseback�察�I had 
the  sudden  inspiration  to  endear  myself  to  Stork  and  Black。  Leading  them 
through  a  dark  hallway  and  large  portal�察 �I  took  them  to  a  frightening  room 
that was once the kitchen。 I asked them if they were able to find anything here 
among the ruins。 Of course�察�they hadn¨t。 There was no trace of the kettles�察�the 
pots  and  pans  and  the  bellows  that  were  once  used  to  prepare  food  for  the 
forsaken and the poor。 I never even attempted to clean up this ghastly room 
covered in cobwebs�察�dust�察�mud�察�debris and the excrement of dogs and cats。 As 
always�察 �a  strong  wind�察 �rising  up  as  if  out  of  nowhere�察 �dimmed  the  lamp!
making our shadows now lighter�察�now darker。 
^You  searched  and  searched  but  you  couldn¨t  find  my  hidden  treasure�察院 �I 
said。 
Out  of  habit�察 �I  used  the  back  of  my  hand  as  a  broom  to  sweep  away  the 
ashes in what used to be a hearth and when an old stove emerged�察�I lifted up 
its iron lid with a creak。 I held the lamp to the small mouth of the stove。 I shall 
never forget how Stork leapt forward and greedily grabbed the leather pouches 
within before Black could act。 He was about to open the pouches right there in 
the mouth of the oven�察�but as I had returned to the large salon�察�followed by 
Black  who  was  afraid  of  remaining  here�察 �Stork  bounded  after  us  on  his  long 
thin legs。 
When they saw that one pouch contained a pair of clean woolen socks�察�my 
drawstring trousers�察�my red underwear�察�the nicest of my undershirts�察�my silk 
shirt�察  �my   straight   razor�察  �my   b   and   other   belongings�察  �they   were 
momentarily at a loss。 Out of the other pouch�察�which Black opened�察�emerged 
fifty´three  Veian  gold  coins�察 �pieces  of  gold  leaf  that  I¨d  stolen  from  the 
workshop  in  recent  years�察 �my  sketchbook  of  model  forms  which  I  concealed 
from  everybody�察 �more  stolen  gold  leaf  hidden  between  the  pages�察 �indecent 
pictures!some of

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