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my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕-及14何蛍

弌傍�� my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕 忖方�� 耽匈4000忖

梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈��梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈��梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何��
!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��



together with the aforementioned Hoja and�察�excuse the expression�察�they were 
going  at  it  like  dogs  in  heat。  While  the  giant�察 �whom  I  later  realized  was  the 
Devil�察�attended to his business with our hero�察�he was passionately kissing 
his  lovely  ear  and  whispering  into  it�察  �Coffee  is  a  sin�察 �coffee  is  a  vice´ ̄ 
Accordingly�察�those who believe in the harmful effects of coffee�察�believe not in 
the mandments of our good religion�察�but in the Devil himself。 
And  finally�察 �I  shall  make  mention  of  Frank  painters�察 �so  if  there  are 
degenerates among you who have pretensions to be like them�察�may you heed 
my  warning  and  be  deterred。  Now�察 �these  Frank  painters  depict  the  faces  of 
kings�察�priests�察�noblemen and even women in such a manner that after gazing 
upon  the  portrait�察 �you¨d  be  able  to  identify  that  person  on  the  street。  Their 
wives roam freely on the streets anyway!now�察�just imagine the rest。 As if this 
weren¨t enough�察�they¨ve taken matters even further。 I don¨t mean in regard to 
pimping�察�but in regard to painting。 
A  great  European  master  miniaturist  and  another  great  master  artist  are 
walking through a Frank meadow discussing virtuosity and art。 As they stroll�察�a 
forest  es  into  view  before  them。  The  more  expert  of  the  two  says  to  the 
other�此 �Painting in the new style demands such talent that if you depicted one 
57 
 
of the trees in this forest�察�a man who looked upon that painting could e 
here�察�and if he so desired�察�correctly select that tree from among the others。 ̄ 
I thank Allah that I�察�the humble tree before you�察�have not been drawn with 
such intent。 And not because I fear that if I¨d been thus depicted all the dogs 
in Istanbul would assume I was a real tree and piss on me�此�I don¨t want to be a 
tree�察�I want to be its meaning。 
 
   
58 
 
I AM CALLED BLACK 
 
The snow began to fall at a late hour and continued till dawn。 I spent the night 
reading  Shekure¨s  letter  again  and  again。  I  paced  in  the  empty  room  of  the 
empty  house�察 �occasionally  leaning  toward  the  candlestick�察 �in  the  flickering 
light of the dim candle�察�I y beloved¨s angry 
letters�察 �the  somersaults  they  turned  trying  to  deceive  me  and  their  hip´
swinging right´to´left progression。 Abruptly�察�those shutters would open before 
my  eyes�察 �and  my  beloved¨s  face  and  her  sorrowful  smile  would  appear。  And 
when  I  saw  her  real  face�察 �I  forgot  all  of  those  other  faces  whose  sour´cherry 
mouths had increasingly matured and ripened in my imagination。 
In  the  middle  of  the  night  I  lost  myself  in  dreams  of  marriage�此 �I  had  no 
doubts about my love or that it was reciprocated!we were married in a state 
of  great  contentment!but�察 �my  imaginary  happiness�察 �set  in  a  house  with  a 
staircase�察 �was  dashed  when  I  couldn¨t  find  appropriate  work  and  began 
arguing with my wife�察�unable to make her heed my words。 
I knew I¨d appropriated these ominous images from the section on the ills 
of marriage in Gazzali¨s The Revival of Religious Science�察�which I¨d read during 
my nights as a bachelor in Arabia�察�at the same time�察�I recalled that there was 
actually advice on the benefits of marriage in that same section�察�though now I 
could remember only two of these benefits�此�first�察�having my household kept in 
order ��there was no such order in my imagined house���察�second�察�being spared 
the guilt of self´abuse and of dragging myself!an even deeper sense of guilt!
behind pimps leading me through dark alleyways to the lairs of prostitutes。 
The thought of salvation at this late hour brought masturbation to mind。 
With a simple´minded desire�察�and to rid my mind of this irrepressible urge�察�I 
retired to a corner of the room�察�as was my wont�察�but after a while I realized I 
couldn¨t jack off!proof well enough that I¨d fallen in love again after twelve 
years� �
This struck such excitement and fear into my heart that I walked around the 
room nearly atremble like the flame of the candle。 If Shekure meant to present 
herself at the window�察�then why this letter�察�which put the opposite belief into 
play�拭�Why did her father call for me�拭�As I paced�察�I sensed that the door�察�wall 
and  squeaky  floor�察 �stuttering  as  I  myself  did�察 �were  trying  to  creak  their 
responses to my every question。 
I looked at the picture I¨d made years ago�察�which depicted Shirin stricken 
with  love  upon  gazing  at  H┨srev¨s  image  hanging  from  a  branch。  It  didn¨t 
59 
 
embarrass me as it would each time it came to mind in subsequent years�察�nor 
did it bring back my happy childhood memories。 Toward morning�察�my mind 
had  mastered  the  situation�此 �By  returning  the  picture�察 �Shekure  had  made  a 
move in an amatory chess game she was masterfully luring me into。 I sat in 
the candlelight and wrote her a letter of response。 
In the morning�察�after sleeping for a spell�察�I went out and walked a long way 
through the streets�察�carrying the letter upon my breast and my light pen´and´
ink  holder�察 �as  was  my  custom�察 �in  my  sash。  The  snow  widened  Istanbul¨s 
narrow streets and freed the city of its crowds。 All was quieter and slower�察�as 
it¨d  been  in  my  childhood。  Crows  seemed  to  have  beset  Istanbul¨s  roofs�察�
domes and gardens just as they had on the snowy winter days of my youth。 I 
walked swiftly�察�listening to my steps in the snow and watching the fog of my 
breath。 I grew excited�察�expecting the palace workshop that my Enishte wanted 
me to visit to be as silent as the streets。 Before I entered the Jewish quarter�察�I 
sent word by way of a little street urchin to Esther�察�who¨d be able to deliver my 
letter to Shekure�察�telling her where to meet me before the noontime prayers。 
I  arrived  early  at  the  royal  artisans¨  workshop  located  behind  the  Hagia 
Sophia。 Except for the icicles hanging from the eaves�察�there was no change in 
the  building  where  I¨d  often  visited  my  Enishte  and  for  a  time  worked  as  a 
child apprentice。 
Following  a  handsome  young  apprentice�察 �I  walked  past  elderly  master 
binders  dazed  from  the  smell  of  glue  and  bookbinder¨s  paste�察 �master 
miniaturists whose backs had hunched at an early age and youths who mixed 
paints  without  even  looking  into  the  bowls  perched  on  their  knees�察 �so 
sorrowfully were they absorbed by the flames of the stove。 In a corner�察�I saw 
an  old  man  meticulously  painting  an  ostrich  egg  on  his  lap�察 �another  elder 
enthusiastically  embellishing  a  drawer  and  a  young  apprentice  graciously 
watching them both。 Through an open door�察�I witnessed young students being 
reprimanded  as  they  leaned  forward�察 �their  noses  almost  touching  the  pages 
spread  before  their  reddened  faces�察 �as  they  tried  to  understand  the  mistakes 
they¨d made。 In another room�察�a mournful and melancholy apprentice�察�having 
forgotten  momentarily  about  colors�察 �papers  and  painting�察 �stared  into  the 
street I¨d just now eagerly walked down。 
We  climbed  the  icy  staircase。  We  walked  through  the  portico�察 �which 
wrapped  around  the  inner  second  floor  of  the  building。  Below�察 �in  the  inner 
courtyard  covered  with  snow�察 �two  young  students�察 �obviously  trembling  from 
the cold despite their thick capes of coarse wool�察�were waiting!perhaps for an 
imminent beating。 I recalled my early youth and the beatings given to students 
60 
 
who  were  lazy  or  who  wasted  expensive  paints�察 �and  the  blows  of  the 
bastinado�察�which landed on the soles of their feet until they bled。 
We entered a warm room。 I saw two novices who¨d recently finished their 
apprenticeships。  Since  the  great  masters�察 �whom  Master  Osman  had  given 
workshop  names�察 �now  worked  at  home�察 �this  room�察 �which  once  aroused 
excessive reverence and delight in me�察�no longer seemed like the workshop of a 
great  and  wealthy  sultan  but  merely  a  largish  room  in  some  secluded 
caravansary in the remote mountains of the East。 
Immediately  off  to  the  side�察 �before  a  long  counter�察 �I  saw  the  Head 
Illuminator�察�Master Osman�察�for the first time in fifteen years�察�he seemed like 
an apparition。 Whenever I contemplated illustrating and painting during my 
travels�察�the great master would appear in my mind¨s eye as if he were Bihzad 
himself�察�now�察�in his white outfit and in the snow´white light falling through 
the window facing the Hagia Sophia�察�he looked as though he¨d long bee 
one  of  the  spirits  of  the  Otherworld。  I  kissed  his  hand�察 �which  I  noticed  was 
mottled�察�and I introduced myself。 I explained how my Enishte had enrolled me 
here as a youth�察�but that I¨d preferred a bureaucratic post and left。 I recounted 
my years on the road�察�my time spent in Eastern cities in the service of pashas 
as a clerk or treasurer¨s secretary。 I told him how�察�working with Serhat Pasha 
and  others�察 �I¨d  met  calligraphers  and  illuminators  in  Tabriz  and  produced 
books�察�how I¨d spent time in Baghdad and Aleppo�察�in Van and Tiflis�察�and how 
I¨d seen many battles。 
^Ah�察�Tiflis� 院�the great master said�察�as he gazed at the light from the snow´
covered  garden  filtering  through  the  oilskin  covering  the  window。  ^Is  it 
snowing there now�拭院�
His demeanor befitted those old Persian masters who grew blind perfecting 
their artistry�察�who�察�after a certain age�察�lived half´saintly�察�half´senile lives�察�and 
about whom endless legends were told。 I straightaway saw in his jinnlike eyes 
that  he  despised  my  Enishte  vehemently  and  that  he  was  furthermore 
suspicious of me。 Even so�察�I explained how in the Arabian deserts snow didn¨t 
simply fall to the Earth�察�as it was now falling onto the Hagia Sophia�察�but onto 
memories as well。 I spun a yarn�此�When it snowed on the fortress of Tiflis�察�the 
washerwomen  sang  songs  the  color  of  flowers  and  children  hid  ice  cream 
under their pillows for summer。 
^Do tell me what those illuminators and painters illustrate in the countries 
you¨ve visited�察院�he said。 ^What do they depict�拭院�
61 
 
A dreamy´e

卦指朕村 貧匯匈 和匯匈 指欺競何 壘��0�� 家��0��

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