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rekindled(英文版)-第19部分

小说: rekindled(英文版) 字数: 每页4000字

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was staring down at her。

Breaking into a smile; he said; 〃I wanted to see if it would work。〃

〃See if what would work?〃

〃If I could wake you up by willing it。 I've been sending brain waves。〃

〃Brain waves didn't wake me。〃 She yawned。 〃I'd have woken anyway。〃

He stretched and grimaced。 〃I feel well used。〃

〃That's one way to put it;〃 she said; but she was thinking ahead。 How
not to? Morning was here。

She rolled away; but he rolled her right back and held her in place with
an arm on either side。 〃Don't。 After last night you can't turn away。〃

〃Can't?〃

〃Won't。 Let's talk;〃 he said gently and sat up。 His eyes wandered to her
hair; which was spread on the pillow; then the sheets; which bunched at
her navel。 He looked at everything in between as though it were
priceless。 At last; in a deep voice; he said; 〃I love you; Chloe。〃

She reached to cover his mouth; not ready for that; but he caught her
hand and pinned it to the pillow。 Leaning down; he gave her a long;
silencing kiss。 When his mouth left hers again; he said; 〃I love you and
want to marry you。〃

She shook her head。

〃I do;〃 he insisted。

Her heart ached。 She wasn't ready; wasn't ready at all。 〃Last night we
made love。 Saying 'i love you' is something else entirely。〃

Ross didn't budge。 〃Argue as much as you want; but you won't change
this。 I love you。 I wish I could say that I loved you eleven years
ago…it would all sound romantic。 I wanted you then。 I knew that there
was something in you…deep in you…that intrigued me。 But I didn't get to
know you。 A few hours is too short a time。〃

〃It's hardly been much more than that now;〃 she protested。

〃It's been more than two weeks。〃

〃It's been less than two days。〃

〃Tell me you didn't think of me。〃

She recalled those long hours after New Hampshire。 〃I can't。 I thought
of you。 But in order to love a person you have to spend time with that
person。〃

〃You're clutching at straws。 I love you。 If you were honest with
yourself; you'd tell me that you love me; too。〃

That was what she feared most。 There was no place in her life for that
kind of love。 〃You don't know what I feel。〃

〃I know what I felt last night。 You couldn't have faked your reactions。
Sorry; Chloe; but you responded out of love。 That's all there is to it。〃

〃No。 Not all。〃 She needed time。 She knew what she had to say。
〃'responded to you out of need。 Call it lust or physical desire; but
don't call it love。〃

〃You're afraid;〃 he announced。

There was a deathly silence。 The air pulsed between them。

〃You're afraid to let go of the past;〃 he went on。 〃It's so much a part
of you that you're terrified to live without it。〃

〃That's not true;〃 she cried。

〃Then why don't you try? You did it for a night…why not for a week?

A month? A year?〃 He softened。 〃I'm not asking you to renounce your
past; just to accept it and move on。〃 He paused; suddenly a shade
unsure。 〃You did enjoy last night; didn't you?〃

〃Oh; yes;〃 she breathed so quickly that her words stopped dead for lack
of a follow…up。

His smile filled the gap。 It was a full; warm curve of the firm lips
that had given her such pleasure through the night。 His gaze dropped to
her breasts; then her bare middle。 When he bent to kiss her navel; she
clutched his hair。 But to push him away? Or to hold him there? Lord; she
didn't know。

After a night of beauty; the morning was dreary and dark。 After a night
of clear…cut emotions; the new day's emotions were muddy and dense。 She
needed time; needed space。 Turning her face into the pillow; she let her
hands slowly slide from his hair。

〃I want you to work for me; Chloe。〃

Her eyes shot back to his。 〃Work for you? How can I do that? I have my
own business。〃

He brushed a tendril of hair from her cheek。 〃I mean; I want to retain
your firm。〃

She was startled。 She hadn't considered this twist。 〃For what?〃

〃They cater our board meetings;〃 he drawled facetiously。 〃e on; you
know what you do。 I'd like to hire ESE as a geological consultant;
starting with a set of revised plans for the Rye Beach plex。〃

Business; then? Suddenly self…conscious; Chloe drew the sheet to her
armpits and sat up。 She forced a feeble smile。 〃So it's bribery now?
You'd try to hook my business; then slowly reel me in?〃

〃If necessary。〃 His grin came and went。 〃I've toyed with the idea all
week。 It was what I wanted to discuss when I arrived Friday。 What do you
think? Will you do it?〃

〃No。

〃Why not? It's a good business move。〃

〃Actually;〃 she thought aloud; 〃you're right。 It is a good business
move。 I'll do it; but only if Lee handle the work。〃

〃I don't want Lee。〃

She had never doubted it。 〃That's why I can't do this。 Can you imagine
us trying to work together? After last night? I'm not sure how much work
we'd get done。〃

He sighed。 〃At least you don't deny that。〃

〃I never did。 I just don't know how much more there is to it than that。〃

But she lied。 Making love with Ross was as close; as deep; as merged as
she had ever been with another person; and that included Crystal; which
was saying a lot。 She would always be attracted to Ross; would always
feel that special connection。

Sadly; she slipped out of bed and stood at the window。 She felt as
lonely; as dismal as the day。 Was the pain of separating from Ross worth
the joy of being with him? Was the pain her punishment for
self…indulgence?

She heard his footsteps behind her and sighed when he circled her waist
and drew her back against him。 For another minute; no more; she would
savor it。 Another minute; that was all。 〃I have to leave this morning;〃
he said softly。 〃This morning?〃

〃I have a date in New York。〃

〃A date。〃 That stopped her。 〃Business or pleasure?〃

〃Pleasure。〃

She turned。 〃You just told me you loved me。〃

〃I love her; too。〃

The mischief in his eyes tipped her off。 〃Your mom。〃

〃Smart girl;〃 he said with a smile。 Chloe was inordinately pleased。 〃I
didn't realize she lived in New York。〃

〃She doesn't。 She's visiting。〃

〃And you left her for the weekend?〃

〃With pleasure。〃 And he showed no sign of guilt。 〃My mother has never
been the easiest woman to get along with。 And the fact that I loaned her
my place pleased her more than my pany would have。 But I promised to
take her to an opening at an art gallery she sponsors。〃 He cleared his
throat。 〃She's on another of her infamous culture kicks。〃

Chloe couldn't help but grin。 〃Like the violin lessons?〃

〃Like the violin lessons。〃

Their eyes shared amusement; but it faded fast。 In its place was raw
desire; back with a vengeance。

〃Ahhh; Chloe;〃 Ross murmured and caught her lips。

She tried to turn away。 〃It's too late。〃 She turned back again; needy。
She kissed him; then breathed; 〃We have to stop。 Really; we do。〃

But she wanted him too much for that。 He backed her to the bed and
followed her down; and she met him willingly。 When he was gone; there
would be soul…searching aplenty。 But not now。 Not yet。

Her soul…searching began the instant the brown BMW pulled from her drive
and disappeared from sight。

〃I'll be in touch; princess;〃 he had said when he kissed her good…bye。

〃You shouldn't; Ross;〃 she had said; though her throat was tight with
emotion。 〃It's better this way。〃

He hadn't said anything more; had simply turned on his heel and walked
off。

The sense of loss she had felt then should have eased as the day wore
on; but it didn't。 It grew sharper; forcing her to a deeper level of
soulsearching。 On this level she felt great guilt。 Twice; now; she had
been with Ross。 Had it not been for the first time; Crystal might still
be alive。

The pain of her memory of that time was so great that she rarely went
there。 Now she did。 She and Crystal had double…dated that rainy Saturday
night and had returned home on a sour note; largely from Chloe's
distraction。 When Crystal confronted her; Chloe told her about Ross。 She
hadn't meant to gloat; only to share the excitement。

But Crystal was furious。 Hurt; jealousy; anger…Chloe had never been able
to sort through her twin's rage。 Crystal had run from the house; taken
her small sports car; and sped away。 Within an hour the police were at
the door to report that the small car had skidded on the wet road and
slammed into a tree。 Crystal had died instantly。

Chloe twitched。 Her forehead was bathed in sweat。 Throwing an arm over
her eyes; she sank more deeply into the sofa。 For years she had lived
with the guilt of causing Crystal's death。

But there was new guilt now。 Ross had fallen in love with her and she
had allowed it to happen。 Since she couldn't marry him; he would be
hurt; which was the last thing she wanted。 He deserved the best; the
finest。 He deserved a wife and children and all those things she might
have wanted herself; had life been different。 Causing him pain increased
her own pain ten…fold。 Because; when all was said and done; she loved
him; too。

That was the deepest layer unearthed in her soul…search。 She did love
Ross; but it had no future。 There would always be yesterday and the
ghosts she lived with。 Ross had stolen her heart; but only a part。 The
rest had either died with Crystal; or died a little more each time she
saw the grief on her parents' faces。 Ross deserved a wholehearted woman。
She wanted that for him。

After developing a throbbing migraine; Chloe was in bed by eight; and
there was pain beyond her head。 Ross's scent clung to her sheets; the
remembered feel of his body scared her skin。 She burned inside; with no
outlet。

In time she fell asleep。 After two nights without; it was deep and
mercifully uninterrupted。 She woke up only when Lee hollered from the
foot of the stairs; 〃Chloe? Rise and shine!〃

She yawned; stretched; remembered and felt pain; then relief。 Lee often
woke her with a yell。 This wouldn't be the last time。 Life would go on
without Ross。 Yes; it would。 Climbing from bed; she showered; dressed;
neatened the room and joined Lee for breakfast。 〃Good weekend; kid?〃 he
asked around a mouthful of toast。 〃Not bad。〃

〃So what happened?〃

〃Nothing。〃

〃He didn't sleep at my place Saturday night; Chloe。〃

She helped herself to coffee。 〃How do you know he stayed over Saturday
night? H

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