mark twain, a biography, 1907-1910-第34部分

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was　only　during　the　period　of　his　extreme　suffering　that　he　needed　any
one；　and　he　did　not　wish　to　have　a　nurse　always　around。　　When　the　pains
were　gone　he　was　as　bright　and　cheerful；　and；　seemingly；　as　well　as　ever。

On　the　afternoon　of　my　arrival　we　drove　out；　as　formerly；　and　he
discussed　some　of　the　old　subjects　in　quite　the　old　way。　　He　had　been
rereading　Macaulay；　he　said；　and　spoke　at　considerable　length　of　the
hypocrisy　and　intrigue　of　the　English　court　under　James　II。　　He　spoke；
too；　of　the　Redding　Library。　　I　had　sold　for　him　that　portion　of　the　land
where　Jean's　farm…house　had　stood；　and　it　was　in　his　mind　to　use　the
money　for　some　sort　of　a　memorial　to　Jean。　　I　had　written；　suggesting
that　perhaps　he　would　like　to　put　up　a　small　library　building；　as　the
Adams　lot　faced　the　corner　where　Jean　had　passed　every　day　when　she　rode
to　the　station　for　the　mail。　　He　had　been　thinking　this　over；　he　said；
and　wished　the　idea　carried　out。　　He　asked　me　to　write　at　once　to　his
lawyer；　Mr。　Lark；　and　have　a　paper　prepared　appointing　trustees　for　a
memorial　library　fund。

The　pain　did　not　trouble　him　that　afternoon；　nor　during　several
succeeding　days。　　He　was　gay　and　quite　himself；　and　he　often　went　out　on
the　lawn；　but　we　did　not　drive　out　again。　　For　the　most　part；　he　sat
propped　up　in　his　bed；　reading　or　smoking；　or　talking　in　the　old　way；　and
as　I　looked　at　him　he　seemed　so　full　of　vigor　and　the　joy　of　life　that　I
could　not　convince　myself　that　he　would　not　outlive　us　all。　　I　found　that
he　had　been　really　very　much　alive　during　those　three　monthstoo　much
for　his　own　good；　sometimesfor　he　had　not　been　careful　of　his　hours　or
his　diet；　and　had　suffered　in　consequence。

He　had　not　been　writing；　though　he　had　scribbled　some　playful　valentines
and　he　had　amused　himself　one　day　by　preparing　a　chapter　of　advicefor
me　it　appearedwhich；　after　reading　it　aloud　to　the　Allens　and　receiving
their　approval；　he　declared　he　intended　to　have　printed　for　my　benefit。　
As　it　would　seem　to　have　been　the　last　bit　of　continued　writing　he　ever
did；　and　because　it　is　characteristic　and　amusing；　a　few　paragraphs　may
be　admitted。　　The　〃advice〃　is　concerning　deportment　on　reaching　the　Gate
which　St。　Peter　is　supposed　to　guard

　　　　　Upon　arrival　do　not　speak　to　St。　Peter　until　spoken　to。　　It　is　not
　　　　　your　place　to　begin。

　　　　　Do　not　begin　any　remark　with　〃Say。〃

　　　　　When　applying　for　a　ticket　avoid　trying　to　make　conversation。　　If
　　　　　you　must　talk　let　the　weather　alone。　　St。　Peter　cares　not　a　damn　for
　　　　　the　weather。　　And　don't　ask　him　what　time　the　4。30　train　goes；　there
　　　　　aren't　any　trains　in　heaven；　except　through　trains；　and　the　less
　　　　　information　you　get　about　them　the　better　for　you。

　　　　　You　can　ask　him　for　his　autographthere　is　no　harm　in　thatbut　be
　　　　　careful　and　don't　remark　that　it　is　one　of　the　penalties　of
　　　　　greatness。　　He　has　heard　that　before。

　　　　　Don't　try　to　kodak　him。　　Hell　is　full　of　people　who　have　made　that
　　　　　mistake。

　　　　　Leave　your　dog　outside。　　Heaven　goes　by　favor。　　If　it　went　by　merit
　　　　　you　would　stay　out　and　the　dog　would　go　in。
　　　　　
　　　　　You　will　be　wanting　to　slip　down　at　night　and　smuggle　water　to　those
　　　　　poor　little　chaps　（the　infant　damned）；　but　don't　you　try　it。　　You
　　　　　would　be　caught；　and　nobody　in　heaven　would　respect　you　after　that。

　　　　　Explain　to　Helen　why　I　don't　come。　　If　you　can。

There　were　several　pages　of　this　counsel。　　One　paragraph　was　written　in
shorthand。　　I　meant　to　ask　him　to　translate　it；　but　there　were　many　other
things　to　think　of；　and　I　did　not　remember。

I　spent　most　of　each　day　with　him；　merely　sitting　by　the　bed　and　reading
while　he　himself　read　or　dozed。　　His　nights　were　wakefulhe　found　it
easier　to　sleep　by　dayand　he　liked　to　think　that　some　one　was　there。　
He　became　interested　in　Hardy's　Jude；　and　spoke　of　it　with　high　approval；
urging　me　to　read　it。　　He　dwelt　a　good　deal　on　the　morals　of　it；　or
rather　on　the　lack　of　them。　　He　followed　the　tale　to　the　end；　finishing
it　the　afternoon　before　we　sailed。　　It　was　his　last　continuous　reading。
I　noticed；　when　he　slept；　that　his　breathing　was　difficult；　and　I　could
see　from　day　to　day　that　he　did　not　improve；　but　each　evening　he　would　be
gay　and　lively；　and　he　liked　the　entire　family　to　gather　around；　while　he
became　really　hilarious　over　the　various　happenings　of　the　day。
It　was　only　a　few　days　before　we　sailed　that　the　very　severe　attacks
returned。　　The　night　of　the　8th　was　a　hard　one。　　The　doctors　were
summoned；　and　it　was　only　after　repeated　injections　of　morphine　that　the
pain　had　been　eased。　　When　I　returned　in　the　early　morning　he　was　sitting
in　his　chair　trying　to　sing；　after　his　old　morning　habit。　　He　took　my
hand　and　said：

〃Well；　I　had　a　picturesque　night。　　Every　pain　I　had　was　on　exhibition。〃　　

He　looked　out　the　window　at　the　sunlight　on　the　bay　and　green　dotted
islands。　　〃'Sparkling　and　bright　in　the　liquid　light；'〃　he　quoted。　
〃That's　Hoffman。　　Anything　left　of　Hoffman？〃

〃No；〃　I　said。

〃I　must　watch　for　the　Bermudian　and　see　if　she　salutes；〃　he　said；
presently。　　〃The　captain　knows　I　am　here　sick；　and　he　blows　two　short
whistles　just　as　they　come　up　behind　that　little　island。　　Those　are　for
me。〃

He　said　he　could　breathe　easier　if　he　could　lean　forward；　and　I　placed　a
card…table　in　front　of　him。　　His　breakfast　came　in；　and　a　little　later　he
became　quite　gay。　　He　drifted　to　Macaulay　again；　and　spoke　of　King
James's　plot　to　assassinate　William　II。；　and　how　the　clergy　had　brought
themselves　to　see　that　there　was　no　difference　between　killing　a　king　in
battle　and　by　assassination。　　He　had　taken　his　seat　by　the　window　to
watch　for　the　Bermudian。　　She　came　down　the　bay　presently；　her　bright　red
stacks　towering　vividly　above　the　green　island。　　It　was　a　brilliant
morning；　the　sky　and　the　water　a　marvelous　blue。　　He　watched　her
anxiously　and　without　speaking。　　Suddenly　there　were　two　white　puffs　of
steam；　and　two　short；　hoarse　notes　went　up　from　her。

〃Those　are　for　me；〃　he　said；　his　face　full　of　contentment。　　〃Captain
Fraser　does　not　forget　me。〃

There　followed　another　bad　night。　　My　room　was　only　a　little　distance
away；　and　Claude　came　for　me。　　I　do　not　think　any　of　us　thought　he　would
survive　it；　but　he　slept　at　last；　or　at　least　dozed。　　In　the　morning　he
said：

〃That　breast　pain　stands　watch　all　night　and　the　short　breath　all　day。
I　am　losing　enough　sleep　to　supply　a　worn…out　army。　　I　want　a　jugful　of
that　hypnotic　injunction　every　night　and　every　morning。〃

We　began　to　fear　now　that　he　would　not　be　able　to　sail　on　the　12th；　but
by　great　good…fortune　he　had　wonderfully　improved　by　the　12th；　so　much　so
that　I　began　to　believe；　if　once　he　could　be　in　Stormfield；　where　the　air
was　more　vigorous；　he　might　easily　survive　the　summer。　　The　humid
atmosphere　of　the　season　increased　the　difficulty　of　his　breathing。

That　evening　he　was　unusually　merry。　　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Allen　and　Helen　and
myself　went　in　to　wish　him　good　night。　　He　was　loath　to　let　us　leave；　but
was　reminded　that　he　would　sail　in　the　morning；　and　that　the　doctor　had
insisted　that　he　must　be　quiet　and　lie　still　in　bed　and　rest。　　He　was
never　one　to　be　very　obedient。　　A　little　later　Mrs。　Allen　and　I；　in　the
sitting…room；　heard　some　one　walking　softly　outside　on　the　veranda。　　We
went　out　there；　and　he　was　marching　up　and　down　in　his　dressing…gown　as
unconcerned　as　if　he　were　not　an　invalid　at　all。　　He　hadn't　felt　sleepy；
he　said；　and　thought　a　little　exercise　would　do　him　good。　　Perhaps　it
did；　for　he　slept　soundly　that　nighta　great　blessing。

Mr。　Allen　had　chartered　a　special　tug　to　come　to　Bay　House　landing　in　the
morning　and　take　him　to　the　ship。　　He　was　carried　in　a　little　hand…chair
to　the　tug；　and　all　the　way　out　he　seemed　light…spirited；　anything　but　an
invalid：　The　sailors　carried　him　again　in　the　chair　to　his　state…room；
and　he　bade　those　dear　Bermuda　friends　good…by；　and　we　sailed　away。

As　long　as　I　remember　anything　I　shall　remember　the　forty…eight　hours　of
that　homeward　voyage。　　It　was　a　brief　two　days　as　time　is　measured；　but
as　time　is　lived　it　has　taken　its　place　among　those　unmeasured　periods　by
the　side　of　which　even　years　do　not　count。

At　first　he　seemed　quite　his　natural　self；　and　asked　for　a　catalogue　of
the　ship's　library；　and　selected　some　memoirs　of　the　Countess　of　Cardigan
for　his　reading。　　He　asked　also　for　the　second　volume　of　Carlyle's　French
Revolution；　which　he　had　with　him。　　But　we　ran　immediately　into　the　more
humid；　more　oppressive　air　of　the　Gulf　Stream；　and　his　breathing　became
at　first　difficult；　then　next　to　impossible。　　There　were　two　large　port…
holes；　which　I　opened；　but　presently　he　suggested　that　it　would　be　better
outside。　　It　was　only　a　step　to　the　main…deck；　and　no　passengers　were
there。　　I　had　a　steamer…chair　brought；　and　with　Claude　supported　him　to
it　and　bundled　him　with　rugs；　but　it　had　grown　damp　and　chilly；　and　his
breathing　did　not　improve。　　It　seemed　to　me　that　the　end　might　come　at
any　moment；　and　this　thought　was　in　his　mind；　too；　for　once　in　the　effort
for　breath　he　managed　to　say：

〃I　am　goingI　shall　be　gone　in　a　moment。〃

Breath　came；　but　I　realized　then　that　even　his　cabin　was　better　than
this。　　I　steadied　him　back　to　his　berth　and　shut　out　most　of　that　deadly
dampness。　　He　asked　for　the　〃hypnotic　'injunction〃　（for　his　humor　never
left　him）；　and　though　it　was　not　yet　the　hour　prescribed　I　could　not　deny
it。　　It　was　impossible　for　him　to　lie　down；　even　to　recline；　without
great　distress。　　The　opiate　made　him　drowsy；　and　he　longed　for　the　relief
of　sleep；　but　when　it　seemed　about　to　possess　him　the　struggle　for　air
would　bring　him　upright。

During　the　more　comfortable　moments　he　spoke　quite　in　the　old　way；　and
time　and　again　made　an　effort　to　read；　and　reached　for　his　pipe　or　a
cigar　which　lay　in　the　little　berth　hammock　at　his　side。　　I　held　the
match；　and　he　would　take　a　puff　or　two　with　satisfaction。　　Then　the　peace
of　it　would　bring　drowsiness；　and　while　I　supported　him　there　would　come
a　few　moments；　perhaps；　of　precious　sleep。　　Only　a　few　moments；　for　the
devil　of　suffocation　was　always　lying　in　wait　to　bring　him　back　for　fresh
tor