the works of edgar allan poe-2-第47部分

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since　not　to　be　overcome　cost　me　a　perpetual　struggle。　Yet　this
superiority　　even　this　equality　　was　in　truth　acknowledged　by　no
one　but　myself；　our　associates；　by　some　unaccountable　blindness；
seemed　not　even　to　suspect　it。　Indeed；　his　competition；　his
resistance；　and　especially　his　impertinent　and　dogged　interference
with　my　purposes；　were　not　more　pointed　than　private。　He　appeared　to
be　destitute　alike　of　the　ambition　which　urged；　and　of　the　passionate
energy　of　mind　which　enabled　me　to　excel。　In　his　rivalry　he　might
have　been　supposed　actuated　solely　by　a　whimsical　desire　to　thwart；
astonish；　or　mortify　myself；　although　there　were　times　when　I　could
not　help　observing；　with　a　feeling　made　up　of　wonder；　abasement；　and
pique；　that　he　mingled　with　his　injuries；　his　insults；　or　his
contradictions；　a　certain　most　inappropriate；　and　assuredly　most
unwelcome　affectionateness　of　manner。　I　could　only　conceive　this
singular　behavior　to　arise　from　a　consummate　self…conceit　assuming
the　vulgar　airs　of　patronage　and　protection。

Perhaps　it　was　this　latter　trait　in　Wilson's　conduct；　conjoined　with
our　identity　of　name；　and　the　mere　accident　of　our　having　entered　the
school　upon　the　same　day；　which　set　afloat　the　notion　that　we　were
brothers；　among　the　senior　classes　in　the　academy。　These　do　not
usually　inquire　with　much　strictness　into　the　affairs　of　their
juniors。　I　have　before　said；　or　should　have　said；　that　Wilson　was
not；　in　the　most　remote　degree；　connected　with　my　family。　But
assuredly　if　we　had　been　brothers　we　must　have　been　twins；　for；　after
leaving　Dr。　Bransby's；　I　casually　learned　that　my　namesake　was　born
on　the　nineteenth　of　January；　1813　　and　this　is　a　somewhat
remarkable　coincidence；　for　the　day　is　precisely　that　of　my　own
nativity。

It　may　seem　strange　that　in　spite　of　the　continual　anxiety　occasioned
me　by　the　rivalry　of　Wilson；　and　his　intolerable　spirit　of
contradiction；　I　could　not　bring　myself　to　hate　him　altogether。　We
had；　to　be　sure；　nearly　every　day　a　quarrel　in　which；　yielding　me
publicly　the　palm　of　victory；　he；　in　some　manner；　contrived　to　make
me　feel　that　it　was　he　who　had　deserved　it；　yet　a　sense　of　pride　on
my　part；　and　a　veritable　dignity　on　his　own；　kept　us　always　upon　what
are　called　〃speaking　terms；〃　while　there　were　many　points　of　strong
congeniality　in　our　tempers；　operating　to　awake　me　in　a　sentiment
which　our　position　alone；　perhaps；　prevented　from　ripening　into
friendship。　It　is　difficult；　indeed；　to　define；　or　even　to　describe；
my　real　feelings　towards　him。　They　formed　a　motley　and　heterogeneous
admixture；　　some　petulant　animosity；　which　was　not　yet　hatred；　some
esteem；　more　respect；　much　fear；　with　a　world　of　uneasy　curiosity。　To
the　moralist　it　will　be　unnecessary　to　say；　in　addition；　that　Wilson
and　myself　were　the　most　inseparable　of　companions。

It　was　no　doubt　the　anomalous　state　of　affairs　existing　between　us；
which　turned　all　my　attacks　upon　him；　（and　they　were　many；　either
open　or　covert）　into　the　channel　of　banter　or　practical　joke　（giving
pain　while　assuming　the　aspect　of　mere　fun）　rather　than　into　a　more
serious　and　determined　hostility。　But　my　endeavours　on　this　head　were
by　no　means　uniformly　successful；　even　when　my　plans　were　the　most
wittily　concocted；　for　my　namesake　had　much　about　him；　in　character；
of　that　unassuming　and　quiet　austerity　which；　while　enjoying　the
poignancy　of　its　own　jokes；　has　no　heel　of　Achilles　in　itself；　and
absolutely　refuses　to　be　laughed　at。　I　could　find；　indeed；　but　one
vulnerable　point；　and　that；　lying　in　a　personal　peculiarity；　arising；
perhaps；　from　constitutional　disease；　would　have　been　spared　by　any
antagonist　less　at　his　wit's　end　than　myself；　　my　rival　had　a
weakness　in　the　faucal　or　guttural　organs；　which　precluded　him　from
raising　his　voice　at　any　time　above　a　very　low　whisper。　Of　this
defect　I　did　not　fall　to　take　what　poor　advantage　lay　in　my　power。

Wilson's　retaliations　in　kind　were　many；　and　there　was　one　form　of
his　practical　wit　that　disturbed　me　beyond　measure。　How　his　sagacity
first　discovered　at　all　that　so　petty　a　thing　would　vex　me；　is　a
question　I　never　could　solve；　but；　having　discovered；　he　habitually
practised　the　annoyance。　I　had　always　felt　aversion　to　my　uncourtly
patronymic；　and　its　very　common；　if　not　plebeian　praenomen。　The　words
were　venom　in　my　ears；　and　when；　upon　the　day　of　my　arrival；　a　second
William　Wilson　came　also　to　the　academy；　I　felt　angry　with　him　for
bearing　the　name；　and　doubly　disgusted　with　the　name　because　a
stranger　bore　it；　who　would　be　the　cause　of　its　twofold　repetition；
who　would　be　constantly　in　my　presence；　and　whose　concerns；　in　the
ordinary　routine　of　the　school　business；　must　inevitably；　on　account
of　the　detestable　coincidence；　be　often　confounded　with　my　own。

The　feeling　of　vexation　thus　engendered　grew　stronger　with　every
circumstance　tending　to　show　resemblance；　moral　or　physical；　between
my　rival　and　myself。　I　had　not　then　discovered　the　remarkable　fact
that　we　were　of　the　same　age；　but　I　saw　that　we　were　of　the　same
height；　and　I　perceived　that　we　were　even　singularly　alike　in　general
contour　of　person　and　outline　of　feature。　I　was　galled；　too；　by　the
rumor　touching　a　relationship；　which　had　grown　current　in　the　upper
forms。　In　a　word；　nothing　could　more　seriously　disturb　me；　although　I
scrupulously　concealed　such　disturbance；）　than　any　allusion　to　a
similarity　of　mind；　person；　or　condition　existing　between　us。　But；　in
truth；　I　had　no　reason　to　believe　that　（with　the　exception　of　the
matter　of　relationship；　and　in　the　case　of　Wilson　himself；）　this
similarity　had　ever　been　made　a　subject　of　comment；　or　even　observed
at　all　by　our　schoolfellows。　That　he　observed　it　in　all　its　bearings；
and　as　fixedly　as　I；　was　apparent；　but　that　he　could　discover　in　such
circumstances　so　fruitful　a　field　of　annoyance；　can　only　be
attributed；　as　I　said　before；　to　his　more　than　ordinary　penetration。

His　cue；　which　was　to　perfect　an　imitation　of　myself；　lay　both　in
words　and　in　actions；　and　most　admirably　did　he　play　his　part。　My
dress　it　was　an　easy　matter　to　copy；　my　gait　and　general　manner　were；
without　difficulty；　appropriated；　in　spite　of　his　constitutional
defect；　even　my　voice　did　not　escape　him。　My　louder　tones　were；　of
course；　unattempted；　but　then　the　key；　it　was　identical；　and　his
singular　whisper；　it　grew　the　very　echo　of　my　own。

How　greatly　this　most　exquisite　portraiture　harassed　me；　（for　it
could　not　justly　be　termed　a　caricature；）　I　will　not　now　venture　to
describe。　I　had　but　one　consolation　　in　the　fact　that　the
imitation；　apparently；　was　noticed　by　myself　alone；　and　that　I　had　to
endure　only　the　knowing　and　strangely　sarcastic　smiles　of　my　namesake
himself。　Satisfied　with　having　produced　in　my　bosom　the　intended
effect；　he　seemed　to　chuckle　in　secret　over　the　sting　he　had
inflicted；　and　was　characteristically　disregardful　of　the　public
applause　which　the　success　of　his　witty　endeavours　might　have　so
easily　elicited。　That　the　school；　indeed；　did　not　feel　his　design；
perceive　its　accomplishment；　and　participate　in　his　sneer；　was；　for
many　anxious　months；　a　riddle　I　could　not　resolve。　Perhaps　the
gradation　of　his　copy　rendered　it　not　so　readily　perceptible；　or；
more　possibly；　I　owed　my　security　to　the　master　air　of　the　copyist；
who；　disdaining　the　letter；　（which　in　a　painting　is　all　the　obtuse
can　see；）　gave　but　the　full　spirit　of　his　original　for　my　individual
contemplation　and　chagrin。

I　have　already　more　than　once　spoken　of　the　disgusting　air　of
patronage　which　he　assumed　toward　me；　and　of　his　frequent　officious
interference　withy　my　will。　This　interference　often　took　the
ungracious　character　of　advice；　advice　not　openly　given；　but　hinted
or　insinuated。　I　received　it　with　a　repugnance　which　gained　strength
as　I　grew　in　years。　Yet；　at　this　distant　day；　let　me　do　him　the
simple　justice　to　acknowledge　that　I　can　recall　no　occasion　when　the
suggestions　of　my　rival　were　on　the　side　of　those　errors　or　follies
so　usual　to　his　immature　age　and　seeming　inexperience；　that　his　moral
sense；　at　least；　if　not　his　general　talents　and　worldly　wisdom；　was
far　keener　than　my　own；　and　that　I　might；　to…day；　have　been　a　better；
and　thus　a　happier　man；　had　I　less　frequently　rejected　the　counsels
embodied　in　those　meaning　whispers　which　I　then　but　too　cordially
hated　and　too　bitterly　despised。

As　it　was；　I　at　length　grew　restive　in　the　extreme　under　his
distasteful　supervision；　and　daily　resented　more　and　more　openly　what
I　considered　his　intolerable　arrogance。　I　have　said　that；　in　the
first　years　of　our　connexion　as　schoolmates；　my　feelings　in　regard　to
him　might　have　been　easily　ripened　into　friendship：　but；　in　the
latter　months　of　my　residence　at　the　academy；　although　the　intrusion
of　his　ordinary　manner　had；　beyond　doubt；　in　some　measure；　abated；　my
sentiments；　in　nearly　similar　proportion；　partook　very　much　of
positive　hatred。　Upon　one　occasion　he　saw　this；　I　think；　and
afterwards　avoided；　or　made　a　show　of　avoiding　me。

It　was　about　the　same　period；　if　I　remember　aright；　that；　in　an
altercation　of　violence　with　him；　in　which　he　was　more　than　usually
thrown　off　his　guard；　and　spoke　and　acted　with　an　openness　of
demeanor　rather　foreign　to　his　nature；　I　discovered；　or　fancied　I
discovered；　in　his　accent；　his　air；　and　general　appearance；　a
something　which　first　startled；　and　then　deeply　interested　me；　by
bringing　to　mind　dim　visions　of　my　earliest　infancy　　wild；　confused
and　thronging　memories　of　a　time　when　memory　herself　was　yet　unborn。
I　cannot　better　describe　the　sensation　which　oppressed　me　than　by
saying　that　I　could　with　difficulty　shake　off　the　belief　of　my　having
been　acquainted　with　the　being　who　stood　before　me；　at　some　epoch
very　long　ago　　some　point　of　the　past　even　infinitely　remote。　The
delusion；　however；　faded　rapidly　as　it　came；　and　I　mention　it　at　all
but　to　define　the　day　of　the　last　conversation　I　there　held　with　my
singular　namesake。

The　huge　old　house；　with　its　countless　subdivisions；　had　several
large　chambers　communicating　with　each　other；　where　slept　the　greater
number　of　the　students。　There　were；　however；　（as　must　necessarily
happen