catherine-a story(凯瑟琳的故事)-第33部分
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Catherine： A Story
CHAPTER IX。 INTERVIEW
BETWEEN COUNT
GALGENSTEIN AND MASTER
THOMAS BILLINGS； WHEN HE
INFORMS THE COUNT OF HIS
PARENTAGE。
I don't know in all this miserable world a more miserable spectacle
than that of a young fellow of five or six and forty。 The British army； that
nursery of valour； turns out many of the young fellows I mean： who；
having flaunted in dragoon uniforms from seventeen to six…and…thirty；
having bought； sold； or swapped during that period some two hundred
horses； having played； say； fifteen thousand games at billiards； having
drunk some six thousand bottles of wine； having consumed a reasonable
number of Nugee coats； split many dozen pairs of high…heeled Hoby boots；
and read the newspaper and the army…list duly； retire from the service
when they have attained their eighth lustre； and saunter through the world；
trailing from London to Cheltenham； and from Boulogne to Paris； and
from Paris to Baden； their idleness； their ill…health； and their ennui。 〃In the
morning of youth；〃 and when seen along with whole troops of their
companions； these flowers look gaudy and brilliant enough； but there is no
object more dismal than one of them alone； and in its autumnal； or seedy
state。 My friend； Captain Popjoy； is one who has arrived at this condition；
and whom everybody knows by his title of Father Pop。 A kinder； simpler；
more empty…headed fellow does not exist。 He is forty…seven years old； and
appears a young； good…looking man of sixty。 At the time of the Army of
Occupation he really was as good…looking a man as any in the Dragoons。
He now uses all sorts of stratagems to cover the bald place on his head； by
combing certain thin grey sidelocks over it。 He has； in revenge； a pair of
enormous moustaches； which he dyes of the richest blue…black。 His nose is
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a good deal larger and redder than it used to be； his eyelids have grown
flat and heavy； and a little pair of red； watery eyeballs float in the midst of
them： it seems as if the light which was once in those sickly green pupils
had extravasated into the white part of the eye。 If Pop's legs are not so firm
and muscular as they used to be in those days when he took such leaps
into White's buckskins； in revenge his waist is much larger。 He wears a
very good coat； however； and a waistband； which he lets out after dinner。
Before ladies he blushes； and is as silent as a schoolboy。 He calls them
〃modest women。〃 His society is chiefly among young lads belonging to
his former profession。 He knows the best wine to be had at each tavern or
cafe； and the waiters treat him with much respectful familiarity。 He knows
the names of every one of them； and shouts out； 〃Send Markwell here！〃 or；
〃Tell Cuttriss to give us a bottle of the yellow seal！〃 or； 〃Dizzy voo；
Monsure Borrel； noo donny shampang frappy；〃 etc。 He always makes the
salad or the punch； and dines out three hundred days in the year： the other
days you see him in a two…franc eating…house at Paris； or prowling about
Rupert Street； or St。 Martin's Court； where you get a capital cut of meat for
eightpence。 He has decent lodgings and scrupulously clean linen； his
animal functions are still tolerably well preserved； his spiritual have
evaporated long since； he sleeps well； has no conscience； believes himself
to be a respectable fellow； and is tolerably happy on the days when he is
asked out to dinner。
Poor Pop is not very high in the scale of created beings； but； if you
fancy there is none lower； you are in egregious error。 There was once a
man who had a mysterious exhibition of an animal； quite unknown to
naturalists； called 〃the wusser。〃 Those curious individuals who desired to
see the wusser were introduced into an apartment where appeared before
them nothing more than a little lean shrivelled hideous blear…eyed mangy
pig。 Everyone cried out 〃Swindle！〃 and 〃Shame！〃 〃Patience； gentlemen；
be heasy；〃 said the showman： 〃look at that there hanimal； it's a perfect
phenomaly of hugliness： I engage you never see such a pig。〃 Nobody ever
had seen。 〃Now； gentlemen；〃 said he； 〃I'll keep my promise； has per bill；
and bad as that there pig is； look at this here〃 （he showed another）。 〃Look
at this here； and you'll see at once that it's A WUSSER。〃 In like manner the
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Popjoy breed is bad enough； but it serves only to show off the Galgenstein
race； which is WUSSER。
Galgenstein had led a very gay life； as the saying is； for the last fifteen
years； such a gay one； that he had lost all capacity of enjoyment by this
time； and only possessed inclinations without powers of gratifying them。
He had grown to be exquisitely curious and fastidious about meat and
drink； for instance； and all that he wanted was an appetite。 He carried
about with him a French cook； who could not make him eat； a doctor； who
could not make him well； a mistress； of whom he was heartily sick after
two days； a priest； who had been a favourite of the exemplary Dubois； and
by turns used to tickle him by the imposition of penance； or by the
repetition of a tale from the recueil of Noce； or La Fare。 All his appetites
were wasted and worn； only some monstrosity would galvanise them into
momentary action。 He was in that effete state to which many noblemen of
his time had arrived； who were ready to believe in ghost…raising or in
gold…making； or to retire into monasteries and wear hair…shirts； or to
dabble in conspiracies； or to die in love with little cook…maids of fifteen；
or to pine for the smiles or at the frowns of a prince of the blood； or to go
mad at the refusal of a chamberlain's key。 The last gratification he
remembered to have enjoyed was that of riding bareheaded in a soaking
rain for three hours by the side of his Grand Duke's mistress's coach；
taking the pas of Count Krahwinkel； who challenged him； and was run
through the body for this very dispute。 Galgenstein gained a rheumatic
gout by it； which put him to tortures for many months； and was further
gratified with the post of English Envoy。 He had a fortune； he asked no
salary； and could look the envoy very well。 Father O'Flaherty did all the
duties； and furthermore acted as a spy over the ambassadora sinecure
post； for the man had no feelings； wishes； or opinionsabsolutely none。
〃Upon my life； father；〃 said this worthy man； 〃I care for nothing。 You
have been talking for an hour about the Regent's death； and the Duchess of
Phalaris； and sly old Fleury； and what not； and I care just as much as if you
told me that one of my bauers at Galgenstein had killed a pig； or as if my
lacquey； La Rose yonder； had made love to my mistress。〃
〃He does！〃 said the reverend gentleman。
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〃Ah； Monsieur l'Abbe！〃 said La Rose； who was arranging his master's
enormous Court periwig； 〃you are； helas！ wrong。 Monsieur le Comte will
not be angry at my saying that I wish the accusation were true。〃
The Count did not take the slightest notice of La Rose's wit； but
continued his own complaints。
〃I tell you； Abbe； I care for nothing。 I lost a thousand guineas t'other
night at basset； I wish to my heart I could have been vexed about it。 Egad！
I remember the day when to lose a hundred made me half mad for a month。
Well； next day I had my revenge at dice； and threw thirteen mains。 There
was some delay； a call for fresh bones； I think； and would you believe it？
I fell asleep with the box in my hand！〃
〃A desperate case； indeed；〃 said the Abbe。
〃If it had not been for Krahwinkel； I should have been a dead man；
that's positive。 That pinking him saved me。〃
〃I make no doubt of it；〃 said the Abbe。 〃Had your Excellency not run
him through； he； without a doubt； would have done the same for you。〃
〃Psha！ you mistake my words； Monsieur l'Abbe〃 （yawning）。 〃I mean
what cursed chocolate！that I was dying for want of excitement。 Not that I
cared for dying； no； d me if I do！〃
〃WHEN you do； your Excellency means；〃 said the Abbe； a fat grey…
haired Irishman； from the Irlandois College at Paris。
His Excellency did not laugh； nor understand jokes of any kind； he
was of an undeviating stupidity； and only replied； 〃Sir； I mean what I say。 I
don't care for living： no； nor for dying either； but I can speak as well as
another； and I'll thank you not to be correcting my phrases as if I were one
of your cursed schoolboys； and not a gentleman of fortune and blood。〃
Herewith the Count； who had uttered four sentences about himself （he
never spoke of anything else）； sunk back on his pillows again； quite
exhausted by his eloquence。 The Abbe； who had a seat and
