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HAVE tried as muchnot to kick herno�察�no�察�not kick her�察�certainly�此�that's 

ungentlemanlybut to  INDUCE  her  to   go back to   that   cursed   pot´house 

where we fell in with her。 I have given her many hints; 

     ;Oh�察  �yes�察  �I   saw   your   honour   give   her   one   yesterdaywith   a   mug   of 

beer。   By   the   laws�察  �as   the   ale   run   all   down   her   face�察  �and   she   clutched   a 

knife to run at you�察�I don't think I ever saw such a she´devil� �That woman 

will do for your honour some day�察�if you provoke her。; 

     ;Do for ME�拭�No�察�hang it�察�Mr。 Brock�察�never� �She loves every hair of 

my head�察�sir�此�she worships me�察�Corporal。 Egad�察�yes� �she worships me�察�and 

would   much   sooner   apply   a   knife   to   her   own   weasand   than   scratch   my 

little finger� ─�

     ;I think she does�察─�said Mr。 Brock。 

     ;I'm  sure   of   it�察─  �said   the   Captain。   ;Women�察  �look   you�察  �are   like   dogs�察�

they   like   to   be   ill´treated�此  �they   like   it�察  �sir�察  �I   know   they   do。   I   never   had 

anything to do with a woman in my life but I ill´treated her�察�and she liked 

me the better。; 

     ;Mrs。 Hall ought to be VERY fond of you then�察�sure enough� ─�said Mr。 

Corporal。 

     ;Very fond��ha�察�ha� �Corporal�察�you wag youand so she IS very fond。 

Yesterday�察�after the knife´and´beer sceneno wonder I threw the liquor in 

her face�此�it was so dev'lish flat that no gentleman could drink it�此�and I told 

her never to draw it till dinner´time; 

     ;Oh�察�it was enough to put an angel in a fury� ─�said Brock。 

     ;Well�察�yesterday�察�after the knife business�察�when you had got the carver 

out of her hand�察�off she flings to her bedroom�察�will not eat a bit of dinner 

forsooth�察  �and   remains   locked   up   for   a   couple   of   hours。   At   two   o'clock 

afternoon ��I was over a tankard���察�out comes the little she´devil�察�her face 

pale�察�her eyes bleared�察�and the tip of her nose as red as fire with sniffling 

and weeping。 Making for my hand�察�'Max��' says she�察�'will you forgive me��' 



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'What��' says I。 'Forgive a murderess��' says I。 'No�察�curse me�察�never��' 'Your 

cruelty will kill   me��' sobbed   she。 'Cruelty be   hanged��' says   I�察�'didn't   you 

draw that beer an hour before dinner��' She could say nothing to THIS�察�you 

know�察�and I swore that every time she did so�察�I would fling it into her face 

again。 Whereupon back she flounced to her chamber�察�where she wept and 

stormed until night´time。; 

     ;When you forgave her�拭─�

     ;I DID forgive her�察�that's positive。 You see I had supped at the 'Rose' 

along with Tom Trippet and half´a´dozen pretty fellows�察�and I had eased a 

great fat´headed Warwickshire landjunkerwhat d'ye call him��squire�察�of 

forty pieces�察�and I'm dev'lish good´humoured when I've won�察�and so Cat 

and I made it up�此�but I've taught her never to bring me stale beer againha�察�

ha� ─�

     This conversation will explain�察�a great deal better than any description 

of    ours�察  �however      eloquent�察   �the   state   of  things    as   between     Count 

Maximilian and   Mrs。   Catherine�察 �and   the   feelings   which they  entertained 

for each other。 The woman loved him�察�that was the fact。 And�察�as we have 

shown in the previous chapter how John Hayes�察�a mean´spirited fellow as 

ever breathed�察�in respect of all other passions a pigmy�察�was in the passion 

of love a giant�察�and followed Mrs。 Catherine with a furious longing which 

might seem at the first to be foreign to his nature�察�in the like manner�察�and 

playing at cross´purposes�察�Mrs。 Hall had become smitten of the Captain�察�

and�察�as he said truly�察�only liked him the better for the brutality which she 

received at his hands。 For it is my opinion�察�madam�察�that love is a bodily 

infirmity�察�from which humankind can no more escape than from small´pox�察�

and which attacks every one of us�察�from the first duke in the Peerage down 

to Jack Ketch inclusive�此�which has no respect for rank�察�virtue�察�or roguery 

in man�察 �but   sets each   in   his turn in   a fever�察  �which   breaks out   the deuce 

knows how or why�察�and�察�raging its appointed time�察�fills each individual of 

the one sex with a blind fury and longing for some one of the other ��who 

may   be   pure�察  �gentle�察  �blue´eyed�察  �beautiful�察  �and   good�察  �or   vile�察  �shrewish�察�

squinting�察    �hunchbacked�察     �and    hideous�察  �according     to  circumstances      and 

luck���察�which dies away�察�perhaps�察�in the natural course�察�if left to have its 

way�察�but which contradiction causes to rage more furiously than ever。 Is 



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not history�察�from the Trojan war upwards and downwards�察�full of instances 

of    such    strange    inexplicable      passions�拭    �Was    not   Helen�察    �by   the   most 

moderate   calculation�察  �ninety   years   of   age   when   she   went   off   with   His 

Royal   Highness   Prince   Paris   of   Troy�拭  �Was   not   Madame   La   Valliere   ill´ 

made�察�blear´eyed�察�tallow´complexioned�察�scraggy�察�and with hair like tow�拭�

Was not Wilkes the ugliest�察�charmingest�察�most successful man in the world�拭�

Such instances might be carried out so as to fill a volume�察�but cui bono�拭�

Love   is   fate�察  �and   not   will�察  �its   origin   not   to   be   explained�察  �its   progress 

irresistible�此�and the best proof of this may be had at Bow Street any day�察�

where   if   you   ask   any   officer   of   the   establishment   how   they   take   most 

thieves�察�he will tell you   at the  houses of the  women。 They  must see  the 

dear   creatures   though   they  hang   for   it�察  �they  will   love�察 �though   they  have 

their   necks   in   the   halter。 And   with   regard   to   the   other   position�察  �that   ill´ 

usage on the part of the man does not destroy the affection of the woman�察�

have   we   not   numberless   police´reports�察  �showing   how�察  �when   a   bystander 

would beat a husband for beating his wife�察�man and wife fall together on 

the interloper and punish him for his meddling�拭�

     These points�察�then�察�being settled to the satisfaction of all parties�察�the 

reader will not be disposed to question the assertion that Mrs。 Hall had a 

real affection for the gallant Count�察�and grew�察�as Mr。 Brock was pleased to 

say�察�like a beefsteak�察�more tender as she was thumped。 Poor thing�察�poor 

thing� �his flashy airs and smart looks had overcome her in a single hour�察�

and no more is wanted to plunge into love over head and ears�察�no more is 

wanted   to   make   a   first   love   withand   a   woman's   first   love   lasts   FOR 

EVER   ��a   man's   twenty´fourth   or   twenty´fifth   is   perhaps   the   best���此  �you 

can't   kill   it�察  �do   what   you   will�察  �it   takes   root�察  �and   lives   and   even   grows�察�

never   mind   what   the   soil   may   be   in   which   it   is   planted�察  �or   the   bitter 

weather it must bearoften as one has seen   a wallflower growout of   a 

stone。 

     In the first weeks of their union�察�the Count had at least been liberal to 

her�此�she had a horse and fine clothes�察�and received abroad some of those 

flattering attentions which she held at such high price。 He had�察�however�察�

some ill´luck at play�察�or had been forced to pay some bills�察�or had some 

other satisfactory  reason   for  being   poor�察 �and   his   establishment   was   very 



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speedily      diminished。     He    argued     that�察 �as   Mrs。    Catherine     had    been 

accustomed to wait on others all her life�察�she might now wait upon herself 

and him�察�and when the incident of the beer arose�察�she had been for some 

time      employed        as    the     Count's      housekeeper�察       �with     unlimited 

superintendence over his comfort�察�his cellar�察�his linen�察�and such matters as 

bachelors   are   delighted   to   make   over   to   active   female   hands。  To   do   the 

poor wretch justice�察�she actually kept the man's menage in the best order�察�

nor was there any point of extravagance with which she could be charged�察�

except a little extravagance of dress displayed on the very few occasions 

when   he   condescended   to        walk   abroad   with   her�察  �and   extravagance   of 

language and passion in the frequent quarrels they had together。 Perhaps in 

such a connection as subsisted between this precious couple�察�these faults 

are inevitable on the part of the woman。 She must be silly and vain�察�and 

will pretty surely therefore be fond of dress�察�and she must�察�disguise it as 

she will�察�be perpetually miserable and brooding over her fall�察�which will 

cause her to be violent and quarrelsome。 

     Such�察    �at  least�察 �was   Mrs。    Hall�察  �and   very   early   did   the  poor    vain 

misguided wretch begin to reap what she had sown。 

     For a man�察�remorse under these circumstances is perhaps uncommon。 

No   stigma   affixes   on   HIM   for   betraying   a   woman�察  �no   bitter   pangs   of 

mortified vanity�察�no insulting looks of superiority from his neighbour�察�and 

no sentence of contemptuous banishment is read against him�察�these all fall 

on the tempted�察�and not on the tempter�察�who is permitted to go free。 The 

chief   thing   that   a   man   learns   after   having   successfully   practised   on   a 

woman is to despise the poor wretch whom he has won。 The game�察�in fact�察�

and the glory�察�such as it is�察�is all his�察�and the punishment alone falls upon 

her。 Consider this�察�ladies�察�when charming young gentlemen come to woo 

you   with   soft   speeches。 You   have   nothing   to   win�察  �except   wretchedness�察�

and scorn�察�and desertion。 Consider this�察�and be thankful to your Solomons 

for telling it。 

     It   came 

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