roads of destiny-第50部分

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scharge　this　awkward　lout　at　once　or　I'll　sue　you　for　the　price　of　it。'

〃'Dis　is　bad　pizness；'　says　the　boss。　'Six　hundred　dollars　is　much。　I　reckon　I　vill　haf　to'

〃'Wait　a　minute；　Herr　Brockmann；'　says　Sir　Percival；　easy　and　smiling。　But　he　was　worked　up　under　his　tin　suitings；　I　could　see　that。　And　then　he　made　the　finest；　neatest　little　speech　I　ever　listened　to。　I　can't　give　you　the　words；　of　course。　He　give　the　millionaires　a　lovely　roast　in　a　sarcastic　way；　describing　their　automobiles　and　opera…boxes　and　diamonds；　and　then　he　got　around　to　the　working…classes　and　the　kind　of　grub　they　eat　and　the　long　hours　they　workand　all　that　sort　of　stuffbunkum；　of　course。　'The　restless　rich；'　says　he；　'never　content　with　their　luxuries；　always　prowling　among　the　haunts　of　the　poor　and　humble；　amusing　themselves　with　the　imperfections　and　misfortunes　of　their　fellow　men　and　women。　And　even　here；　Herr　Brockmann；'　he　says；　'in　this　beautiful　Rindslosh；　a　grand　and　enlightening　reproduction　of　Old　World　history　and　architecture；　they　come　to　disturb　its　symmetry　and　picturesqueness　by　demanding　in　their　arrogance　that　the　halberdier　of　the　castle　wait　upon　their　table！　I　have　faithfuly　and　conscientiously；'　says　he；　'performed　my　duties　as　a　halberdier。　I　know　nothing　of　a　waiter's　duties。　It　was　the　insolent　whim　of　these　transient；　pampered　aristocrats　that　I　should　be　detailed　to　serve　them　food。　Must　I　be　blamedmust　I　be　deprived　of　the　means　of　a　livelihood；'　he　goes　on；　'on　account　of　an　accident　that　was　the　result　of　their　own　presumption　and　haughtiness？　But　what　hurts　me　more　than　all；'　says　Sir　Percival；　'is　the　desecration　that　has　been　done　to　this　splendid　Rindsloshthe　confiscation　of　its　halberdier　to　serve　menially　at　the　banquet　board。'

〃Even　I　could　see　that　this　stuff　was　piffle；　but　it　caught　the　boss。

〃'Mein　Gott；'　says　he；　'you　vas　right。　Ein　halberdier　have　not　got　der　right　to　dish　up　soup。　Him　I　vill　not　discharge。　Have　anoder　waiter　if　you　like；　und　let　mein　halberdier　go　back　und　stand　mit　his　halberd。　But；　gentlemen；'　he　says；　pointing　to　the　old　man；　'you　go　ahead　and　sue　mit　der　dress。　Sue　me　for　600　or　6；000。　I　stand　der　suit。'　And　the　boss　puffs　off　down…stairs。　Old　Brockmann　was　an　all…right　Dutchman。

〃Just　then　the　clock　strikes　twelve；　and　the　old　guy　laughs　loud。　'You　win；　Deering；'　says　he。　'And　let　me　explain　to　all；'　he　goes　on。　'Some　time　ago　Mr。　Deering　asked　me　for　something　that　I　did　not　want　to　give　him。'　（I　looks　at　the　girl；　and　she　turns　as　red　as　a　pickled　beet。）　'I　told　him；'　says　the　old　guy；　'if　he　would　earn　his　own　living　for　three　months　without　being　discharged　for　incompetence；　I　would　give　him　what　he　wanted。　It　seems　that　the　time　was　up　at　twelve　o'clock　to…night。　I　came　near　fetching　you；　though；　Deering；　on　that　soup　question；'　says　the　old　boy；　standing　up　and　grabbing　Sir　Percival's　hand。

〃The　halberdier　lets　out　a　yell　and　jumps　three　feet　high。

〃'Look　out　for　those　hands；'　says　he；　and　he　holds　'em　up。　You　never　saw　such　hands　except　on　a　labourer　in　a　limestone　quarry。

〃'Heavens；　boy！'　says　old　side…whiskers；　'what　have　you　been　doing　to　'em？'

〃'Oh；'　says　Sir　Percival；　'little　chores　like　hauling　coal　and　excavating　rock　till　they　went　back　on　me。　And　when　I　couldn't　hold　a　pick　or　a　whip　I　took　up　halberdiering　to　give　'em　a　rest。　Tureens　full　of　hot　soup　don't　seem　to　be　a　particularly　soothing　treatment。'

〃I　would　have　bet　on　that　girl。　That　high…tempered　kind　always　go　as　far　the　other　way；　according　to　my　experience。　She　whizzes　round　the　table　like　a　cyclone　and　catches　both　his　hands　in　hers。　'Poor　hands　dear　hands；'　she　sings　out；　and　sheds　tears　on　'em　and　holds　'em　close　to　her　bosom。　Well；　sir；　with　all　that　Rindslosh　scenery　it　was　just　like　a　play。　And　the　halberdier　sits　down　at　the　table　at　the　girl's　side；　and　I　served　the　rest　of　the　supper。　And　that　was　about　all；　except　that　when　they　left　he　shed　his　hardware　store　and　went　with　'em。〃

I　dislike　to　be　side…tracked　from　an　original　proposition。

〃But　you　haven't　told　me；　Eighteen；〃　said　I；　〃how　the　cigar…case　came　to　be　broken。〃

〃Oh；　that　was　last　night；〃　said　Eighteen。　〃Sir　Percival　and　the　girl　drove　up　in　a　cream…coloured　motor…car；　and　had　dinner　in　the　Rindslosh。　'The　same　table；　Billy；'　I　heard　her　say　as　they　went　up。　I　waited　on　'em。　We've　got　a　new　halberdier　now；　a　bow…legged　guy　with　a　face　like　a　sheep。　As　they　came　down…stairs　Sir　Percival　passes　him　a　ten…case　note。　The　new　halberdier　drops　his　halberd；　and　it　falls　on　the　cigar…case。　That's　how　that　happened。〃



XXI

TWO　RENEGADES

In　the　Gate　City　of　the　South　the　Confederate　Veterans　were　reuniting；　and　I　stood　to　see　them　march；　beneath　the　tangled　flags　of　the　great　conflict；　to　the　hall　of　their　oratory　and　commemoration。

While　the　irregular　and　halting　line　was　passing　I　made　onslaught　upon　it　and　dragged　from　the　ranks　my　friend　Barnard　O'Keefe；　who　had　no　right　to　be　there。　For　he　was　a　Northerner　born　and　bred；　and　what　should　he　be　doing　halloing　for　the　Stars　and　Bars　among　those　gray　and　moribund　veterans？　And　why　should　he　be　trudging；　with　his　shining；　martial；　humorous；　broad　face；　among　those　warriors　of　a　previous　and　alien　generation？

I　say　I　dragged　him　forth；　and　held　him　till　the　last　hickory　leg　and　waving　goatee　had　stumbled　past。　And　then　I　hustled　him　out　of　the　crowd　into　a　cool　interior；　for　the　Gate　City　was　stirred　that　day；　and　the　hand…organs　wisely　eliminated　〃Marching　Through　Georgia〃　from　their　repertories。

〃Now；　what　deviltry　are　you　up　to？〃　I　asked　of　O'Keefe　when　there　were　a　table　and　things　in　glasses　between　us。

O'Keefe　wiped　his　heated　face　and　instigated　a　commotion　among　the　floating　ice　in　his　glass　before　he　chose　to　answer。

〃I　am　assisting　at　the　wake；〃　said　he；　〃of　the　only　nation　on　earth　that　ever　did　me　a　good　turn。　As　one　gentleman　to　another；　I　am　ratifying　and　celebrating　the　foreign　policy　of　the　late　Jefferson　Davis；　as　fine　a　statesman　as　ever　settled　the　financial　question　of　a　country。　Equal　ratiothat　was　his　platforma　barrel　of　money　for　a　barrel　of　floura　pair　of　20　bills　for　a　pair　of　bootsa　hatful　of　currency　for　a　new　hatsay；　ain't　that　simple　compared　with　W。　J。　B's　little　old　oxidized　plank？〃

〃What　talk　is　this？〃　I　asked。　〃Your　financial　digression　is　merely　a　subterfuge。　Why　were　you　marching　in　the　ranks　of　the　Confederate　Veterans？〃

〃Because；　my　lad；〃　answered　O'Keefe；　〃the　Confederate　Government　in　its　might　and　power　interposed　to　protect　and　defend　Barnard　O'Keefe　against　immediate　and　dangerous　assassination　at　the　hands　of　a　blood…　thirsty　foreign　country　after　the　Unites　States　of　America　had　overruled　his　appeal　for　protection；　and　had　instructed　Private　Secretary　Cortelyou　to　reduce　his　estimate　of　the　Republican　majority　for　1905　by　one　vote。〃

〃Come；　Barney；〃　said　I；　〃the　Confederate　States　of　America　has　been　out　of　existence　nearly　forty　years。　You　do　not　look　older　yourself。　When　was　it　that　the　deceased　government　exerted　its　foreign　policy　in　your　behalf？〃

〃Four　months　ago；〃　said　O'Keefe；　promptly。　〃The　infamous　foreign　power　I　alluded　to　is　still　staggering　from　the　official　blow　dealt　it　by　Mr。　Davis's　contraband　aggregation　of　states。　That's　why　you　see　me　cake…walking　with　the　ex…rebs　to　the　illegitimate　tune　about　'simmon…　seeds　and　cotton。　I　vote　for　the　Great　Father　in　Washington；　but　I　am　not　going　back　on　Mars'　Jeff。　You　say　the　Confederacy　has　been　dead　forty　years？　Well；　if　it　hadn't　been　for　it；　I'd　have　been　breathing　to…day　with　soul　so　dead　I　couldn't　have　whispered　a　single　cuss…word　about　my　native　land。　The　O'Keefes　are　not　overburdened　with　ingratitude。〃

I　must　have　looked　bewildered。　〃The　war　was　over；〃　I　said　vacantly；　〃in〃

O'Keefe　laughed　loudly；　scattering　my　thoughts。

〃Ask　old　Doc　Millikin　if　the　war　is　over！〃　he　shouted；　hugely　diverted。　〃Oh；　no！　Doc　hasn't　surrendered　yet。　And　the　Confederate　States！　Well；　I　just　told　you　they　bucked　officially　and　solidly　and　nationally　against　a　foreign　government　four　months　ago　and　kept　me　from　being　shot。　Old　Jeff's　country　stepped　in　and　brought　me　off　under　its　wing　while　Roosevelt　was　having　a　gunboat　repainted　and　waiting　for　the　National　Campaign　Committee　to　look　up　whether　I　had　ever　scratched　the　ticket。〃

〃Isn't　there　a　story　in　this；　Barney？〃　I　asked。

〃No；〃　said　O'Keefe；　〃but　I'll　give　you　the　facts。　You　know　I　went　down　to　Panama　when　this　irritation　about　a　canal　began。　I　thought　I'd　get　in　on　the　ground　floor。　I　did；　and　had　to　sleep　on　it；　and　drink　water　with　little　zoos　in　it；　so；　of　course；　I　got　the　Chagres　fever。　That　was　in　a　little　town　called　San　Juan　on　the　coast。

〃After　I　got　the　fever　hard　enough　to　kill　a　Port…au…Prince　nigger；　I　had　a　relapse　in　the　shape　of　Doc　Millikin。

〃There　was　a　doctor　to　attend　a　sick　man！　If　Doc　Millikin　had　your　case；　he　made　the　terrors　of　death　seem　like　an　invitation　to　a　donkey…party。　He　had　the　bedside　manners　of　a　Piute　medicine…man　and　the　soothing　presence　of　a　dray　loaded　with　iron　bridge…girders。　When　he　laid　his　hand　on　your　fevered　brow　you　felt　like　Cap　John　Smith　just　before　Pocahontas　went　his　bail。

〃Well；　this　old　medical　outrage　floated　down　to　my　shack　when　I　sent　for　him。　He　was　build　like　a　shad；　and　his　eyebrows　was　black；　and　his　white　whiskers　trickled　down　from　his　chin　like　milk　coming　out　of　a　sprinkling…pot。　He　had　a　nigger　boy　along　carrying　an　old　tomato…can　full　of　calomel；　and　a　saw。

〃Doc　felt　my　pulse；　and　then　he　began　to　mess　up　some　calomel　with　an　agricultural　implement　that　belonged　to　the　trowel　class。

〃'I　don't　want　any　death…mask　made　yet；　Doc；'　I　says；　'nor　my　liver　put　in　a　plaster…of…Paris　cast。　I'm　sick；　and　it's　medicine　I　need；　not　frescoing。'

〃'You're　a　blame　Yankee；　ain't　you？'　asked　Doc；　going　on　mixing　up　his　Portland　cement。

〃'I'm　from　the　North；'　says　I；　'but　I'm　a　plain　man；　and　don't　care　for　mural　decorations。　When　you　get　the　Isthmus　all　asphalted　over　with　that　boll…weevil　prescription；　would　you　mind　giving　me　a　dose　of　pain…killer；　or　a　little　strychnine　on　toast　to　ease　up　this　feeling　of　unhealthiness　that　I　have　got？〃

〃'They　was　all　sassy；　just　like　you；'　says　old　Doc；　'but　we　lowere