the blue flower-第24部分

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the　sky；　so　the　song　of　Hermas　fell。　　At　the　end　of　his　flight
of　gratitude　there　was　nothinga　blank；　a　hollow　space。


He　looked　for　a　face；　and　saw　a　void。　　He　sought　for　a
hand；　and　clasped　vacancy。　　His　heart　was　throbbing　and
swelling　with　passion；　the　bell　swung　to　and　fro　within　him；
beating　from　side　to　side　as　if　it　would　burst；　but　not　a
single　note　came　from　it。　　All　the　fulness　of　his　feeling；
that　had　risen　upward　like　a　fountain；　fell　back　from　the　empty
sky；　as　cold　as　snow；　as　hard　as　hail；　frozen　and　dead。　　There
was　no　meaning　in　his　happiness。　　No　one　had　sent　it　to　him。
There　was　no　one　to　thank　for　it。　　His　felicity　was　a　closed
circle；　a　wall　of　ice。

〃Let　us　go　back；〃　he　said　sadly　to　Athenais；　〃the　child　is
heavy　upon　my　shoulder。　　We　will　lay　him　to　sleep；　and　go　into
the　library。　　The　air　grows　chilly。　　We　were　mistaken。　　The
gratitude　of　life　is　only　a　dream。　　There　is　no　one　to　thank。〃

And　in　the　garden　it　was　already　night。



V

No　outward　change　came　to　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars。
Everything　moved　as　smoothly；　as　delicately；　as　prosperously；
as　before。　　But　inwardly　there　was　a　subtle；　inexplicable
transformation。　　A　vague　discontent；　a　final　and　inevitable
sense　of　incompleteness；　overshadowed　existence　from　that
night　when　Hermas　realised　that　his　joy　could　never　go　beyond
itself。

The　next　morning　the　old　man　whom　he　had　seen　in　the　Grove
of　Daphne；　but　never　since；　appeared　mysteriously　at　the　door
of　the　house；　as　if　he　had　been　sent　for；　and　entered　like　an
invited　guest。

Hermas　could　not　but　make　him　welcome；　and　at　first　he
tried　to　regard　him　with　reverence　and　affection　as　the　one
through　whom　fortune　had　come。　　But　it　was　impossible。　　There
was　a　chill　in　the　inscrutable　smile　of　Marcion；　as　he　called
himself；　that　seemed　to　mock　at　reverence。　　He　was　in　the
house　as　one　watching　a　strange　experimenttranquil；
interested；　ready　to　supply　anything　that　might　be　needed　for
its　completion；　but　thoroughly　indifferent　to　the　feelings　of
the　subject；　an　anatomist　of　life；　looking　curiously　to　see
how　long　it　would　continue；　and　how　it　would　act；　after　the
heart　had　been　removed。

In　his　presence　Hermas　was　conscious　of　a　certain
irritation；　a　resentful　anger　against　the　calm；　frigid
scrutiny　of　the　eyes　that　followed　him　everywhere；　like　a　pair
of　spies；　peering　out　over　the　smiling　mouth　and　the　long
white　beard。

〃Why　do　you　look　at　me　so　curiously？〃　asked　Hermas；　one
morning；　as　they　sat　together　in　the　library。　　〃Do　you　see
anything　strange　in　me？〃

〃No；〃　answered　　Marcion；　〃something　familiar。〃

〃And　what　is　that？〃

〃A　singular　likeness　to　a　discontented　young　man　that　I
met　some　years　ago　in　the　Grove　of　Daphne。〃

〃But　why　should　that　interest　you？　　Surely　it　was　to　be
expected。〃

〃A　thing　that　we　expect　often　surprises　us　when　we　see　it。
Besides；　my　curiosity　is　piqued。　　I　suspect　you　of　keeping　a
secret　from　me。〃

〃You　are　jesting　with　me。　　There　is　nothing　in　my　life
that　you　do　not　know。　　What　is　the　secret？〃

〃Nothing　more　than　the　wish　to　have　one。　　You　are　growing
tired　of　your　bargain。　　The　play　wearies　you。　　That　is
foolish。　　Do　you　want　to　try　a　new　part？〃

The　question　was　like　a　mirror　upon　which　one　comes
suddenly　in　a　half…lighted　room。　　A　quick　illumination　falls　on
it；　and　the　passer…by　is　startled　by　the　look　of　his　own　face。

〃You　are　right；〃　said　Hermas。　　〃I　am　tired。　　We　have　been
going　on　stupidly　in　this　house；　as　if　nothing　were　possible
but　what　my　father　had　done　before　me。　　There　is　nothing
original　in　being　rich；　and　well…fed；　and　well…dressed。
Thousands　of　men　have　tried　it；　and　have　not　been　satisfied。　　Let
us　do　something　new。　　Let　us　make　a　mark　in　the　world。〃

〃It　is　well　said；〃　nodded　the　old　man；　〃you　are　speaking
again　like　a　man　after　my　own　heart。　　There　is　no　folly　but
the　loss　of　an　opportunity　to　enjoy　a　new　sensation。〃

From　that　day　Hermas　seemed　to　be　possessed　with　a
perpetual　haste；　an　uneasiness　that　left　him　no　repose。　　The
summit　of　life　had　been　attained；　the　highest　possible　point
of　felicity。　　Henceforward　the　course　could　only　be　at　a
levelperhaps　downward。　　It　might　be　brief；　at　the　best　it
could　not　be　very　long。　　It　was　madness　to　lose　a　day；　an
hour。　　That　would　be　the　only　fatal　mistake：　to　forfeit
anything　of　the　bargain　that　he　had　made。　He　would　have　it；　and
hold　it；　and　enjoy　it　all　to　the　full。　　The　world　might　have
nothing　better　to　give　than　it　had　already　given；　but　surely　it
had　many　things　that　were　new；　and　Marcion　should　help　him　to
find　them。

Under　his　learned　counsel　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars
took　on　a　new　magnificence。　　Artists　were　brought　from　Corinth
and　Rome　and　Alexandria　to　adorn　it　with　splendour。　　Its　fame
glittered　around　the　world。　　Banquets　of　incredible　luxury
drew　the　most　celebrated　guests　into　its　triclinium；　and
filled　them　with　envious　admiration。　　The　bees　swarmed　and
buzzed　about　the　golden　hive。　　The　human　insects；　gorgeous
moths　of　pleasure　and　greedy　flies　of　appetite；　parasites　and
flatterers　and　crowds　of　inquisitive　idlers；　danced　and
fluttered　in　the　dazzling　light　that　surrounded　Hermas。

Everything　that　he　touched　prospered。　　He　bought　a　tract
of　land　in　the　Caucasus；　and　emeralds　were　discovered　among
the　mountains。　　He　sent　a　fleet　of　wheat…ships　to　Italy；　and
the　price　of　grain　doubled　while　it　was　on　the　way。　　He　sought
political　favour　with　the　emperor；　and　was　rewarded　with　the
governorship　of　the　city。　　His　name　was　a　word　to　conjure　with。

The　beauty　of　Athenais　lost　nothing　with　the　passing
seasons；　but　grew　more　perfect；　even　under　the　inexplicable
shade　of　dissatisfaction　that　sometimes　veiled　it。　　〃Fair　as
the　wife　of　Hermas〃　was　a　proverb　in　Antioch；　and　soon　men
began　to　add　to　it；　〃Beautiful　as　the　son　of　Hermas〃；　for　the
child　developed　swiftly　in　that　favouring　clime。　　At　nine
years　of　age　he　was　straight　and　strong；　firm　of　limb　and
clear　of　eye。　　His　brown　head　was　on　a　level　with　his　father's
heart。　　He　was　the　jewel　of　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars；
the　pride　of　Hermas；　the　new　Fortunatus。

That　year　another　drop　of　success　fell　into　his　brimming
cup。　　His　black　Numidian　horses；　which　he　had　been　training
for　the　world…renowned　chariot…races　of　Antioch；　won　the
victory　over　a　score　of　rivals。　　Hermas　received　the　prize
carelessly　from　the　judge's　hands；　and　turned　to　drive　once
more　around　the　circus；　to　show　himself　to　the　people。　　He
lifted　the　eager　boy　into　the　chariot　beside　him　to　share　his
triumph。

Here；　indeed；　was　the　glory　of　his　lifethis　matchless
son；　his　brighter　counterpart　carved　in　breathing　ivory；
touching　his　arm；　and　balancing　himself　proudly　on　the　swaying
floor　of　the　chariot。　　As　the　horses　pranced　around　the　ring；
a　great　shout　of　applause　filled　the　amphitheatre；　and
thousands　of　spectators　waved　their　salutations　of　praise：
〃Hail；　fortunate　Hermas；　master　of　success！　　Hail；　little
Hermas；　prince　of　good　luck！〃

The；　sudden　tempest　of　acclamation；　the　swift　fluttering
of　innumerable　garments　in　the　air；　startled　the　horses。　　They
dashed　violently　forward；　and　plunged　upon　the　bits。　　The　left
rein　broke。　　They　swerved　to　the　right；　swinging　the　chariot
sideways　with　a　grating　noise；　and　dashing　it　against　the
stone　parapet　of　the　arena。　　In　an　instant　the　wheel　was
shattered。　　The　axle　struck　the　ground；　and　the　chariot　was
dragged　onward；　rocking　and　staggering。

By　a　strenuous　effort　Hermas　kept　his　place　on　the　frail
platform；　clinging　to　the　unbroken　rein。　　But　the　boy　was
tossed　lightly　from　his　side　at　the　first　shock。　　His　head　struck
the　wall。　　And　when　Hermas　turned　to　look　for　him；　he　was　lying
like　a　broken　flower　on　the　sand。



VI

They　carried　the　boy　in　a　litter　to　the　House　of　the　Golden
Pillars；　summoning　the　most　skilful　physician　of　Antioch　to
attend　him。　　For　hours　the　child　was　as　quiet　as　death。
Hermas　watched　the　white　eyelids；　folded　close　like　lily…buds
at　night；　even　as　one　watches　for　the　morning。　　At　last　they
opened；　but　the　fire　of　fever　was　burning　in　the　eyes；　and　the
lips　were　moving　in　a　wild　delirium。

Hour　after　hour　that　sweet　childish　voice　rang　through　the
halls　and　chambers　of　the　splendid；　helpless　house；　now　rising
in　shrill　calls　of　distress　and　senseless　laughter；　now
sinking　in　weariness　and　dull　moaning。　　The　stars　shone　and
faded；　the　sun　rose　and　set；　the　roses　bloomed　and　fell　in　the
garden；　the　birds　sang　and　slept　among　the　jasmine…bowers。
But　in　the　heart　of　Hermas　there　was　no　song；　no　bloom；　no
lightonly　speechless　anguish；　and　a　certain　fearful　looking…for
of　desolation。

He　was　like　a　man　in　a　nightmare。　　He　saw　the　shapeless
terror　that　was　moving　toward　him；　but　he　was　impotent　to　stay
or　to　escape　it。　　He　had　done　all　that　he　could。　　There　was
nothing　left　but　to　wait。

He　paced　to　and　fro；　now　hurrying　to　the　boy's　bed　as　if
he　could　not　bear　to　be　away　from　it；　now　turning　back　as　if
he　could　not　endure　to　be　near　it。　　The　people　of　the　house；
even　Athenais；　feared　to　speak　to　him；　there　was　something　so
vacant　and　desperate　in　his　face。

At　nightfall　on　the　second　of　those　eternal　days　he　shut
himself　in　the　library。　　The　unfilled　lamp　had　gone　out；
leaving　a　trail　of　smoke　in　the　air。　　The　sprigs　of　mignonette
and　rosemary；　with　which　the　room　was　sprinkled　every　day；
were　unrenewed；　and　scented　the　gloom　with　close　odours　of
decay。　　A　costly　manuscript　of　Theocritus　was　tumbled　in
disorder　on　the　floor。　　Hermas　sank　into　a　chair　like　a　man　in
whom　the　very　spring　of　being　is　broken。　　Through　the　darkness
some　one　drew　near。　　He　did　not　even　lift　his　head。　　A　hand
touched　him；　a　soft　arm　was　laid　over　his　shoulders。　　It　was
Athenais；　kneeling　beside　him　and　speaking　very　low：

〃Hermasit　is　almost　overthe　child！　　His　voice　grows
weaker　hour　by　hour。　　He　moans　and　calls　for　some　one　to　help
him；　then　he　laughs。　　It　breaks　my　heart。　　He　has　just　fallen
asleep。　　The　moon　is　rising　now。　　Unless　a　change　comes　he
cannot　last　till　sunrise。　　Is　there　nothing　we　can　do？　　Is
there　no　power　that　can　save　him？　　Is　there　no　one　to　pity　us
and　spare　us？　　Let　us　call；　let　us　beg