the blue flower-第23部分

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wider。　　〃Tell　me；〃　whispered　the　old　man；　〃tell　me　quickly；　for　I
must　go。〃

The　voice　sank　into　a　dull　rattle。　　The　fingers　closed
once　more；　and　relaxed。　　The　light　behind　the　eyes　went　out。

Hermas；　the　master　of　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars；　was
keeping　watch　by　the　dead。



IV

The　break　with　the　old　life　was　as　clean　as　if　it　had　been　cut
with　a　knife。　　Some　faint　image　of　a　hermit's　cell；　a　bare
lodging　in　a　back　street　of　Antioch；　a　class…room　full　of
earnest　students；　remained　in　Hermas'　memory。　　Some　dull　echo
of　the　voice　of　John　the　Presbyter；　and　the　measured　sound　of
chanting；　and　the　murmur　of　great　congregations；　still
lingered　in　his　ears；　but　it　was　like　something　that　had
happened　to　another　person；　something　that　he　had　read　long
ago；　but　of　which　he　had　lost　the　meaning。

His　new　life　was　full　and　smooth　and　richtoo　rich　for
any　sense　of　loss　to　make　itself　felt。　　There　were　a　hundred
affairs　to　busy　him；　and　the　days　ran　swiftly　by　as　if　they　were
shod　with　winged　sandals。

Nothing　needed　to　be　considered；　prepared　for；　begun。
Everything　was　ready　and　waiting　for　him。　　All　that　he　had　to
do　was　to　go　on。

The　estate　of　Demetrius　was　even　greater　than　the　world
had　supposed。　　There　were　fertile　lands　in　Syria　which　the
emperor　had　given　him；　marble…quarries　in　Phrygia；　and　forests
of　valuable　timber　in　Cilicia；　the　vaults　of　the　villa
contained　chests　of　gold　and　silver；　the　secret　cabinets　in
the　master's　room　were　full　of　precious　stones。　　The　stewards
were　diligent　and　faithful。　　The　servants　of　the　household
rejoiced　at　the　young　master's　return。　　His　table　was　spread；
the　rose…garland　of　pleasure　was　woven　for　his　head；　his　cup
was　overflowing　with　the　spicy　wine　of　power。

The　period　of　mourning　for　his　father　came　at　a　fortunate
moment　to　seclude　and　safeguard　him　from　the　storm　of
political　troubles　and　persecutions　that　fell　upon　Antioch
after　the　insults　offered　by　the　people　to　the　imperial
statues　in　the　year　387。　　The　friends　of　Demetrius；　prudent　and
conservative　persons；　gathered　around　Hermas　and　made　him　welcome
to　their　circle。　　Chief　among　them　was　Libanius；　the　sophist；　his
nearest　neighbour；　whose　daughter　Athenais　had　been　the　playmate
of　Hermas　in　the　old　days。

He　had　left　her　a　child。　　He　found　her　a　beautiful　woman。
What　transformation　is　so　magical；　so　charming；　as　this？　　To
see　the　uncertain　lines　of　youth　rounded　into　firmness　and
symmetry；　to　discover　the　half…ripe；　merry；　changing　face　of
the　girl　matured　into　perfect　loveliness；　and　looking　at　you
with　calm；　clear；　serious　eyes；　not　forgetting　the　past；　but
fully　conscious　of　the　changed　presentthis　is　to　behold　a
miracle　in　the　flesh。

〃Where　have　you　been；　these　two　years？〃　said　Athenais；　as
they　walked　together　through　the　garden　of　lilies　where　they
had　so　often　played。

〃In　a　land　of　tiresome　dreams；〃　answered　Hermas；　〃but　you
have　wakened　me；　and　I　am　never　going　back　again。〃

It　was　not　to　be　supposed　that　the　sudden　disappearance　of
Hermas　from　among　his　former　associates　could　long　remain
unnoticed。　　At　first　it　was　a　mystery。　　There　was　a　fear；　for　two
or　three　days；　that　he　might　be　lost。　　Some　of　his　more　intimate
companions　maintained　that　his　devotion　had　led　him　out　into　the
desert　to　join　the　anchorites。　　But　the　news　of　his　return　to　the
House　of　the　Golden　Pillars；　and　of　his　new　life　as　its
master；　filtered　quickly　through　the　gossip　of　the　city。

Then　the　church　was　filled　with　dismay　and　grief　and
reproach。　　Messengers　and　letters　were　sent　to　Hermas。　　They
disturbed　him　a　little；　but　they　took　no　hold　upon　him。　　It
seemed　to　him　as　if　the　messengers　spoke　in　a　strange
language。　　As　he　read　the　letters　there　were　words　blotted　out
of　the　writing　which　made　the　full　sense　unintelligible。

His　old　companions　came　to　reprove　him　for　leaving　them；
to　warn　him　of　the　peril　of　apostasy；　to　entreat　him　to
return。　　It　all　sounded　vague　and　futile。　　They　spoke　as　if　he
had　betrayed　or　offended　some　one；　but　when　they　came　to　name
the　object　of　his　fearthe　one　whom　he　had　displeased；　and　to
whom　he　should　returnhe　heard　nothing；　there　was　a　blur　of
silence　in　their　speech。　　The　clock　pointed　to　the　hour；　but　the
bell　did　not　strike。　　At　last　Hermas　refused　to　see　them　any
more。

One　day　John　the　Presbyter　stood　in　the　atrium。　　Hermas
was　entertaining　Libanius　and　Athenais　in　the　banquet…hall。
When　the　visit　of　the　Presbyter　was　announced；　the　young
master　loosed　a　collar　of　gold　and　jewels　from　his　neck；　and
gave　it　to　his　scribe。

〃Take　this　to　John　of　Antioch；　and　tell　him　it　is　a　gift
from　his　former　pupilas　a　token　of　remembrance；　or　to　spend
for　the　poor　of　the　city。　　I　will　always　send　him　what　he
wants；　but　it　is　idle　for　us　to　talk　together　any　more。　　I　do
not　understand　what　he　says。　　I　have　not　gone　to　the　temple；
nor　offered　sacrifice；　nor　denied　his　teaching。　　I　have　simply
forgotten。　　I　do　not　think　about　those　things　any　longer。　　I
am　only　living。　　A　happy　man　wishes　him　all　happiness　and
farewell。〃

But　John　let　the　golden　collar　fall　on　the　marble　floor。
〃Tell　your　master　that　we　shall　talk　together　again；　in　due
time；〃　said　he；　as　he　passed　sadly　out　of
the　hall。

The　love　of　Athenais　and　Hermas　was　like　a　tiny　rivulet
that　sinks　out　of　sight　in　a　cavern；　but　emerges　again　a
bright　and　brimming　stream。　　The　careless　comradery　of
childhood　was　mysteriously　changed　into　a　complete
companionship。

When　Athenais　entered　the　House　of　the　Golden　Pillars　as
a　bride；　all　the　music　of　life　came　with　her。　　Hermas　called
the　feast　of　her　welcome　〃the　banquet　of　the　full　chord。〃　　Day
after　day；　night　after　night；　week　after　week；　month　after
month；　the　bliss　of　the　home　unfolded　like　a　rose　of　a
thousand　leaves。　　When　a　child　came　to　them；　a　strong；
beautiful　boy；　worthy　to　be　the　heir　of　such　a　house；　the
heart　of　the　rose　was　filled　with　overflowing　fragrance。
Happiness　was　heaped　upon　happiness。　　Every　wish　brought　its
own　accomplishment。　　Wealth；　honour；　beauty；　peace；　loveit
was　an　abundance　of　felicity　so　great　that　the　soul　of　Hermas
could　hardly　contain　it。

Strangely　enough；　it　began　to　press　upon　him；　to　trouble
him　with　the　very　excess　of　joy。　　He　felt　as　if　there　were
something　yet　needed　to　complete　and　secure　it　all。　　There　was　an
urgency　within　him；　a　longing　to　find　some　outlet　for　his
feelings；　he　knew　not　howsome　expression　and　culmination　of　his
happiness；　he　knew　not　what。

Under　his　joyous　demeanour　a　secret　fire　of　restlessness
began　to　burnan　expectancy　of　something　yet　to　come　which
should　put　the　touch　of　perfection　on　his　life。　　He　spoke　of
it　to　Athenais；　as　they　sat　together；　one　summer　evening；　in
a　bower　of　jasmine；　with　their　boy　playing　at　their　feet。
There　had　been　music　in　the　garden；　but　now　the　singers　and
lute…players　had　withdrawn；　leaving　the　master　and　mistress
alone　in　the　lingering　twilight；　tremulous　with　inarticulate
melody　of　unseen　birds。　　There　was　a　secret　voice　in　the　hour
seeking　vainly　for　utterance　a　word　waiting　to　be　spoken。

〃How　deep　is　our　happiness；　my　beloved！〃　said　Hermas；
〃deeper　than　the　sea　that　slumbers　yonder；　below　the　city。
And　yet　it　is　not　quite　full　and　perfect。　　There　is　a　depth　of
joy　that　we　have　not　yet　knowna　repose　of　happiness　that　is
still　beyond　us。　　What　is　it？　　I　have　no　superstitions；　like　the
king　who　cast　his　signet…ring　into　the　sea　because　he　dreaded
that　some　secret　vengeance　would　fall　on　his　unbroken　good
fortune。　　That　was　an　idle　terror。　　But　there　is　something
that　oppresses　me　like　an　invisible　burden。　　There　is
something　still　undone；　unspoken；　unfeltsomething　that　we
need　to　complete　everything。　　Have　you　not　felt　it；　too？　　Can
you　not　lead　me　to　it？〃

〃Yes；〃　she　answered；　lifting　her　eyes　to　his　face；　〃I；
too；　have　felt　it；　Hermas；　this　burden；　this　need；　this
unsatisfied　longing。　　I　think　I　know　what　it　means。　　It　is
gratitudethe　language　of　the　heart；　the　music　of　happiness。
There　is　no　perfect　joy　without　gratitude。　　But　we　have　never
learned　it；　and　the　want　of　it　troubles　us。　　It　is　like　being
dumb　with　a　heart　full　of　love。　　We　must　find　the　word　for　it；
and　say　it　together。　　Then　we　shall　be　perfectly　joined　in
perfect　joy。　　Come；　my　dear　lord；　let　us　take　the　boy　with　us；
and　give　thanks。〃

Hermas　lifted　the　child　in　his　arms；　and　turned　with
Athenais　into　the　depth　of　the　garden。　　There　was　a　dismantled
shrine　of　some　forgotten　fashion　of　worship　half…hidden　among　the
luxuriant　flowers。　　A　fallen　image　lay　beside　it；　face　downward
in　the　grass。　　They　stood　there；　hand　in　hand；　the　boy　drowsily
resting　on　his　father's　shoulder。

Silently　the　roseate　light　caressed　the　tall　spires　of　the
cypress…trees；　silently　the　shadows　gathered　at　their　feet；
silently　the　tranquil　stars　looked　out　from　the　deepening　arch
of　heaven。　　The　very　breath　of　being　paused。　　It　was　the　hour
of　culmination；　the　supreme　moment　of　felicity　waiting　for　its
crown。　　The　tones　of　Hermas　were　clear　and　low　as　he　began；
half…speaking　and　half…chanting；　in　the　rhythm　of　an　ancient
song：

〃Fair　is　the　world；　the　sea；　the　sky；　the　double　kingdom
of　day　and　night；　in　the　glow　of　morning；　in　the　shadow　of
evening；　and　under　the　dripping　light　of　stars。

〃Fairer　still　is　life　in　our　breasts；　with　its　manifold
music　and　meaning；　with　its　wonder　of　seeing　and　hearing　and
feeling　and　knowing　and　being。

〃Fairer　and　still　more　fair　is　love；　that　draws　us　together；
mingles　our　lives　in　its　flow；　and　bears　them　along　like　a　river；
strong　and　clear　and　swift；　reflecting　the　stars　in　its　bosom。

〃Wide　is　our　world；　we　are　rich；　we　have　all　things。　　Life
is　abundant　within　usa　measureless　deep。　　Deepest　of　all　is
our　love；　and　it　longs　to　speak。

〃Come；　thou　final　word；　Come；　thou　crown　of　speech！　　Come；
thou　charm　of　peace！　　Open　the　gates　of　our　hearts。　　Lift　the
weight　of　our　joy　and　bear　it　upward。

〃For　all　good　gifts；　for　all　perfect　gifts；　for　love；　for
life；　for　the　world；　we　praise；　we　bless；　we　thank〃


As　a　soaring　bird；　struck　by　an　arrow；　falls　headlong　from
the　sky；　so　the　song　of　Hermas　fell。　　At　the　end　of　his　flight
of　gratitude　there