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第59部分

classic mystery and detective stories-第59部分

小说: classic mystery and detective stories 字数: 每页4000字

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I should have been shielded from all external influence by the

absorbing force of love。  But; alas! this was not to be。  My fate

had taken another direction。  The woman had arrived whose shadow

was to darken the rest of my existence。  That woman was Agalma

Liebenstein。



〃How is it that the head which we can only see surrounded with a

halo; or a shadow; when the splendors of achievement or the infamy

of shame instruct our eyes; is by the uninstructed eye observed as

wholly vulgar?  We all profess to be physiognomists; how is it we

are so lamentably mistaken in our judgments?  Here was a woman in

whom my ignorant eyes saw nothing at all remarkable except golden

hair of unusual beauty。  When I say golden; I am not speaking

loosely。  I do not mean red or flaxen hair; but hair actually

resembling burnished gold more than anything else。  Its ripples on

her brow caught the light like a coronet。  This was her one beauty;

and it was superb。  For the rest; her features were characterless。

Her figure was tall and full; not graceful; but sweepingly

imposing。  At first I noticed nothing about her except the braided

splendor of her glorious hair。〃



He rose; and went into his bedroom; from which he returned with a

small trinket…box in his hand。  This he laid open on the table;

disclosing a long strand of exquisite fair hair lying on a cushion

of dark…blue velvet。



〃Look at that;〃 he said。  〃Might it not have been cut from an

angel's head?〃



〃It is certainly wonderful。〃



〃It must have been hair like this which crowned the infamous head

of Lucrezia Borgia;〃 he said; bitterly。  〃She; too; had golden

hair; but hers must have been of paler tint; like her nature。〃



He resumed his seat; and; fixing his eyes upon the lock; continued:



〃She was one of Ottilie's friendsdear friends; they called each

other;which meant that they kissed each other profusely; and told

each other all their secrets; or as much as the lying nature of the

sex permitted and suggested。  It is; of course; impossible for me

to disentangle my present knowledge from my past impressions so as

to give you a clear description of what I then thought of Agalma。

Enough that; as a matter of fact; I distinctly remember not to have

admired her; and to have told Ottilie so; and when Ottilie; in

surprise at my insensibility; assured me that men were in general

wonderfully charmed with her (though; for her part; she had never

understood why); I answered; and answered sincerely; that it might

be true with the less refined order of men; but men of taste would

certainly be rather repelled from her。



〃This opinion of mine; or some report of it; reached Agalma。



〃It may have been the proximate cause of my sorrows。  Without this

stimulus to her vanity; she might have left me undisturbed。  I

don't know。  All I know is; that over many men Agalma exercised

great influence; and that over me she exercised the spell of

fascination。  No other word will explain her influence; for it was

not based on excellences such as the mind could recognize to be

attractions; it was based on a mysterious personal power; something

awful in its mysteriousness; as all demoniac powers are。  One

source of her influence over men I think I can explain: she at once

captivated and repelled them。  By artful appeals to their vanity;

she made them interested in her and in her opinion of them; and yet

kept herself inaccessible by a pride which was the more fascinating

because it always seemed about to give way。  Her instinct fastened

upon the weak point in those she approached。  This made her

seductive to men; because she flattered their weak points; and

hateful to women; because she flouted and disclosed their weak

points。



〃Her influence over me began in the following way。  One day; at a

picnic; having been led by her into a conversation respecting the

relative inferiority of the feminine intellect; I was forced to

speak rather more earnestly than usual; when suddenly she turned to

me and exclaimed in a lower voice:



〃'I am willing to credit anything you say; only pray don't continue

talking to me so earnestly。'



〃'Why not?' I asked; surprised。



〃She looked at me with peculiar significance; but remained silent。



〃'May I ask why not?' I asked。



〃'Because; if you do; somebody may be jealous。'  There was a

laughing defiance in her eye as she spoke。



〃'And pray; who has a right to be jealous of me?'



〃'Oh! you know well enough。'



〃It was true; I did know; and she knew that I knew it。  To my shame

be it said that I was weak enough to yield to an equivocation which

I now see to have been disloyal; but which I then pretended to have

been no more than delicacy to Ottilie。  As; in point of fact; there

had never been a word passed between us respecting our mutual

feelings; I considered myself bound in honor to assume that there

was nothing tacitly acknowledged。



〃Piqued by her tone and look; I disavowed the existence of any

claims upon my attention; and to prove the sincerity of my words; I

persisted in addressing my attentions to her。  Once or twice I

fancied I caught flying glances; in which some of the company

criticised my conduct; and Ottilie also seemed to me unusually

quiet。  But her manner; though quiet; was untroubled and unchanged。

I talked less to her than usual; partly because I talked so much to

Agalma; and partly because I felt that Agalma's eyes were on us。

But no shadow of 'temper' or reserve darkened our interchange of

speech。



〃On our way back; I know not what devil prompted me to ask Agalma

whether she had really been in earnest in her former allusion to

'somebody。'



〃'Yes;' she said; 'I was in earnest then。'



〃'And now?'



〃'Now I have doubts。  I may have been misinformed。  It's no concern

of mine; anyway; but I had been given to understand。  However; I

admit that my own eyes have not confirmed what my ears heard。'



〃This speech was irritating on two separate grounds。  It implied

that people were talking freely of my attachment; which; until I

had formally acknowledged it; I resented as an impertinence; and it

implied that; from personal observation; Agalma doubted Ottilie's

feelings for me。  This alarmed my quick…retreating pride!  I; too;

began to doubt。  Once let loose on that field; imagination soon saw

shapes enough to confirm any doubt。  Ottilie's manner certainly had

seemed less tendernay; somewhat indifferentduring the last few

days。  Had the arrival of that heavy lout; her cousin; anything to

do with this change?



〃Not to weary you by recalling all the unfolding stages of this

miserable story with the minuteness of detail which my own memory

morbidly lingers on; I will hurry to the catastrophe。  I grew more

and more doubtful of the existence in Ottilie's mind of any feeling

stronger than friendship for me; and as this doubt strengthened;

there arose the flattering suspicion that I was becoming an object

of greater interest to Agalma; who had quite changed her tone

towards me; and had become serious in her speech and manner。  Weeks

passed。  Ottilie had fallen from her pedestal; and had taken her

place among agreeable acquaintances。  One day I suddenly learned

that Ottilie was engaged to her cousin。



〃You will not wonder that Agalma; who before this had exercised

great fascination over me; now doubly became an object of the most

tender interest。  I fell madly in love。  Hitherto I had never known

that passion。  My feeling for Ottilie I saw was but the

inarticulate stammerings of the mighty voice which now sounded

throught the depths of my nature。  The phrase; madly in love; is no

exaggeration; madness alone knows such a fever of the brain; such a

tumult of the heart。  It was not that reason was overpowered; on

the contrary; reason was intensely active; but active with that

logic of flames which lights up the vision of maniacs。



〃Although; of course; my passion was but too evident to every one;

I dreaded its premature avowal; lest I should lose her; and almost

equally dreaded delay; lest I should suffer from that also。  At

length the avowal was extorted from me by jealousy of a brilliant

PoleKorinskiwho had recently appeared in our circle; and was

obviously casting me in the shade by his superior advantages of

novelty; of personal attraction; and of a romantic history。  She

accepted me; and now; for a time; I was the happiest of mortals。

The fever of the last few weeks was abating; it gave place to a

deep tide of hopeful joy。  Could I have died then!  Could I have

even died shortly afterwards; when I knew the delicious mystery of

a jealousy not too absorbing!  For you must know that my happiness

was brief。  Jealousy; to which all passion of a deep and exacting

power is inevitably allied; soon began to disturb my content。

Agalma had no tenderness。  She permitted caresses; never returned

them。  She was ready enough to listen to all my plans for the

future; so long as the recital moved amid details of fortune and

her position in societythat is; so long as her vanity was

interested; but I began to observe with pain that her thoughts

never rested on tender domesticities and poetic anticipations。

This vexed me more and more。  The very spell which she exercised

over me made her want of tenderness more intolerable。  I yearned

for her lovefor some sympathy with the vehement passion which was

burning within me; and she was as marble。



〃You will not be surprised to hear that I reproached her bitterly

for her indifference。  That is the invariable and fatal folly of

loversthey seem to imagine that a heart can be scolded into

tenderness!  To my reproaches she at first answered impatiently

that they were unjust; that it was not her fault if her nature was

less expansive than mine; and that it was insulting to be told she

was indifferent to the man whom she had consented to marry。  Later


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