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redoubled her efforts to comfort him。  〃Nothing becomes one more than the

practice of philosophy;〃 he thought。  〃I always admired those great

public men who in moments of national peril can still dine with a good

appetite。  We will sit in the car a little; for I have rather a pain; and

think over a speech。〃  So musing he mounted the car; followed by his dog;

and sat down in considerable discomfort。



〃What subject can I choose for a Garden City?〃 he thought; and

remembering that he had with him the speech of a bishop on the subject of

babies; he dived into his bundle of literature; and extracting a pamphlet

began to con its periods。  A sharp blow from a hammer on the bottom of the

car just below where Blink was sitting caused him to pause and the dog to

rise and examine her tiny tail。



〃Curious;〃 thought Mr。 Lavender dreamily; 〃how Joe always does the right

thing in the wrong place。  He is very English。〃  The hammering continued;

and the dog; who traced it to the omnipotence of her master; got up on

the seat where she could lick his face。  Mr。 Lavender was compelled to

stop。



〃Joe;〃 he said; leaning out and down; 〃must you?〃



The face of Joe; very red; leaned out and up。  〃What's the matter now;

sir?〃



〃I am preparing a speech; must you hammer?〃



〃No;〃returned Joe; 〃I needn't。〃



〃I don't wish you to waste your time;〃 said Mr Lavender。



〃Don't worry about that; sir;〃 replied Joe; 〃there's plenty to do。〃



〃In that case I shall be glad to finish my speech。〃



Mr。 Lavender resumed his seat and Blink her position on the floor; with

her head on his feet。 The sound of his voice soon rose again in the car

like the buzzing of large flies。  〃'If we are to win this war we must

have an ever…increasing population。  In town and countryside; in the

palace and the slum; above all in the Garden City; we must have babies。'〃



Here Blink; who had been regarding him with lustrous eyes; leaped on to

his knees and licked his mouth。  Again Mr。 Lavender was compelled to

stop。



〃Down; Blink; down!  I am not speaking to you。  'The future of our

country depends on the little citizens born now。 I especially appeal to

women。 It is to them we must look'〃



〃Will you 'ave a glass; sir?〃



Mr。 Lavender saw before him a tumbler containing a yellow fluid。



〃Joe;〃 he said sadly; 〃you know my rule〃



〃'Ere's the exception; sir。〃



Mr。 Lavender sighed。  〃 No; no; I must practise what I preach。  I shall

soon be rousing the people on the liquor question; too。〃



Well; 'ere's luck;〃 said Joe; draining the glass。  〃Will you 'ave a slice

of 'am?〃



〃That would not be amiss;〃 said Mr。 Lavender; taking Joe's knife with the

slice of ham upon its point。   〃'It is to them that we must look;'〃 he

resumed; 〃'to rejuvenate the Empire and make good the losses in the

firing…line。'〃  And he raised the knife to his mouth。  No result

followed; while Blink wriggled on her base and licked her lips。



〃Blink!〃 said Mr。 Lavender reproachfully。 〃Joe!〃



〃Sir!〃



〃When you've finished your lunch and repaired the car you will find me in

the Town Hall or market…place。  Take care of Blink。  I'll tie her up。

Have you some string?〃



Having secured his dog to the handle of the door and disregarded the

intensity of her gaze; Mr。 Lavender walked back towards the Garden City

with a pamphlet in one hand and a crutch…handled stick in the other。

Restoring the ham to its nest behind his feet; Joe finished the bottle of

Bass。  〃This is a bit of all right!〃 he thought dreamily。  Lie down; you

bitch!  Quiet!  How can I get my nap while you make that row?  Lie down!

That's better。〃



Blink was silent; gnawing at her string。  The smile deepened on Joe's

face; his head fell a little one side his mouth fell open a fly flew into

it。



〃Ah!〃 he thought; spitting it out; 〃dog's quiet now。〃  He slept。









III



MR。 LAVENDER ADDRESSES A CROWD OF HUNS



〃'Give them ginger!'〃 thought Mr。 Lavender; approaching the first houses。

〃My first task; however; will be to collect them。〃



〃Can you tell me;〃 he said to a dustman; 〃where the market…place is?〃



〃Ain't none。〃



〃The Town Hall; then?〃



〃Likewise。〃



〃What place is there; then;〃 said Mr。 Lavender;〃 where people

congregate?〃



〃They don't。〃



〃Do they never hold public meetings here?〃



〃Ah!〃 said the dustman mysteriously。



〃I wish to address them on the subject of babies。〃



〃Bill! Gent abaht babies。  Where'd he better go?〃



The man addressed; however; who carried a bag of tools; did not stop。



〃You;'ear?〃 said the dustman; and urging his horse; passed on。



〃How rude!〃 thought Mr。 Lavender。  Something cold and wet was pressed

against his hand; he felt a turmoil; and saw Blink moving round and round

him; curved like a horseshoe; with a bit of string dangling from her

white neck。  At that moment of discouragement the sight of one who

believed in him gave Mr。 Lavender nothing but pleasure。  〃How wonderful

dogs are!〃 he murmured。  The sheep…dog responded by bounds and

ear…splitting barks; so that two boys and a little girl wheeling a

perambulator stopped to look and listen。



〃She is like Mercury;〃 thought Mr。 Lavender; and taking advantage of her

interest in his hat; which she had knocked off in her effusions; he

placed his hand on her head and crumpled her ear。  The dog passed into an

hypnotic trance; broken by soft grumblings of pleasure。  〃The most

beautiful eyes in the world!〃 thought Mr。 Lavender; replacing his hat;

〃the innocence and goodness of her face are entrancing。〃



In his long holland coat; with his wide…brimmed felt hat all dusty; and

the crutch…handled stick in his hand; he had already arrested the

attention of five boys; the little girl with the perambulator; a postman;

a maid…servant; and three old ladies。



〃What a beautiful dog yours is!〃 said one of the old ladies; 〃dear

creature!  Are you a shepherd?〃



Mr。 Lavender removed his hat。



〃No; madam;〃 he said; 〃a public speaker。〃



〃How foolish of me!〃 replied the old lady。



〃Not at all; madam; the folly is mine。〃  And Mr。 Lavender bowed。

〃I have come here to give an address on babies。〃



The old lady looked at him shrewdly; and; saying something in a low voice

to her companions; passed on; to halt again a little way off。



In the meantime the rumour that there was a horse down in the Clemenceau

Road had spread rapidly; and more boys; several little girls; and three

soldiers in blue; with red ties; had joined the group round Mr。 Lavender;

to whom there seemed something more than providential in this rapid

assemblage。  Looking round him for a platform from which to address them;

he saw nothing but the low wall of the little villa garden outside which

he was standing。  Mounting on this; therefore; and firmly grasping the

branch of a young acacia tree to steady himself; he stood upright; while

B1ink; on her hind legs; scratched at the wall; whining and sniffing his feet。

Encouraged by the low murmur of astonishment; which swelled idly

into a shrill cheer; Mr。 Lavender removed his hat; and spoke as follows:



〃Fellow Britons; at this crisis in the history of our country I make no

apology for addressing myself to the gathering I see around me。  Here; in

the cradle of patriotism and the very heart of Movements; I may safely

assume that you are aware of the importance of Man…power。  At a moment

when every man of a certain age and over is wanted at the front; and

every woman of marrigeable years is needed in hospitals; in factories; on

the land; or where not; we see as never before the paramount necessity of

mobilizing the forces racial progress and increasing the numbers of our

population。  Not a man; not a woman can be spared from the great task in

which they are now engaged; of defeating the common enemy。  Side by side

with our American cousins; with la belle France; and the Queen of the

Adriatic; we are fighting to avert the greatest menace which ever

threatened civilization。  Our cruel enemies are strong and ruthless。

While I have any say in this matter; no man or woman shall be withdrawn

from the sacred cause of victory; better they should die to the last unit

than that we should take our hands from the plough。  But; ladies and

gentlemen; we must never forget that in the place of every one who dies

we must put two。  Do not be content with ordinary measures; these are no

piping times of peace。  Never was there in the history of this country

such a crying need forfor twins; if I may put it picturesquely。  In

each family; in each home where there are no families; let there be two

babies where there was one; for thus only can we triumph over the

devastation of this war。〃  At this moment the now considerable audience;

which had hitherto been silent; broke into a shrill 〃'Ear; 'ear!〃 and Mr。

Lavender; taking his hand from the acacia branch to silence them; fell

off the wall into the garden。  Seeing her master thus vanish; Blink; who

had never ceased to whine and sniff his toes; leaped over and landed on

his chest。  Rising with difficulty; Mr。 Lavender found himself in front

of an elderly man with a commercial cast of countenance; who said:

〃You're trespassing!〃



〃I am aware of it;〃 returned Mr。 Lavender and I beg your pardon。  It was

quite inadvertent; however。



〃Rubbish!〃 said the man。



〃I fell off the wall。〃



〃Whose wall do you think it is?〃  said the man。



〃How should I know?〃 said Mr。 Lavender; 〃I am a stranger。〃



〃Out you go;〃 said the man; applying his boot to Blink。



〃Mr。 Lavender's eyes blazed。〃  You may insult me;〃 he said; 〃but you must

not kick my dog; or I shall do you an injury。



〃Try!〃 said the man。



〃I will;〃 responded Mr。 Lavender; taking off his holland coat。



To what extremities he would have proceeded cannot be told; for at this

moment the old lady who had taken him 

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