three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第43部分
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the reductio ad absurdum of the duel； and if the Germans themselves
cannot see that it is funny； one can only regret their lack of humour。
But though one may be unable to agree with the public opinion that
supports and commands the Mensur； it at least is possible to understand。
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The University code that； if it does not encourage it； at least condones
drunkenness； is more difficult to treat argumentatively。 All German
students do not get drunk； in fact； the majority are sober； if not industrious。
But the minority； whose claim to be representative is freely admitted； are
only saved from perpetual inebriety by ability； acquired at some cost； to
swill half the day and all the night； while retaining to some extent their
five senses。 It does not affect all alike； but it is common in any
University town to see a young man not yet twenty with the figure of a
Falstaff and the complexion of a Rubens Bacchus。 That the German
maiden can be fascinated with a face； cut and gashed till it suggests having
been made out of odd materials that never could have fitted； is a proved
fact。 But surely there can be no attraction about a blotched and bloated
skin and a 〃bay window〃 thrown out to an extent threatening to
overbalance the whole structure。 Yet what else can be expected； when
the youngster starts his beer…drinking with a 〃Fruhschoppen〃 at 10 a。m。；
and closes it with a 〃Kneipe〃 at four in the morning？
The Kneipe is what we should call a stag party； and can be very
harmless or very rowdy； according to its composition。 One man invites
his fellow…students； a dozen or a hundred； to a cafe； and provides them
with as much beer and as many cheap cigars as their own sense of health
and comfort may dictate； or the host may be the Korps itself。 Here； as
everywhere； you observe the German sense of discipline and order。 As
each new comer enters all those sitting round the table rise； and with heels
close together salute。 When the table is complete； a chairman is chosen；
whose duty it is to give out the number of the songs。 Printed books of
these songs； one to each two men； lie round the table。 The chairman
gives out number twenty…nine。 〃First verse；〃 he cries； and away all go；
each two men holding a book between them exactly as two people might
hold a hymn…book in church。 There is a pause at the end of each verse
until the chairman starts the company on the next。 As every German is a
trained singer； and as most of them have fair voices； the general effect is
striking。
Although the manner may be suggestive of the singing of hymns in
church； the words of the songs are occasionally such as to correct this
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impression。 But whether it be a patriotic song； a sentimental ballad； or a
ditty of a nature that would shock the average young Englishman； all are
sung through with stern earnestness； without a laugh； without a false note。
At the end； the chairman calls 〃Prosit！〃 Everyone answers 〃Prosit！〃 and
the next moment every glass is empty。 The pianist rises and bows； and is
bowed to in return； and then the Fraulein enters to refill the glasses。
Between the songs； toasts are proposed and responded to； but there is
little cheering； and less laughter。 Smiles and grave nods of approval are
considered as more seeming among German students。
A particular toast； called a Salamander； accorded to some guest as a
special distinction； is drunk with exceptional solemnity。
〃We will now；〃 says the chairman； 〃a Salamander rub〃 （〃Einen
Salamander reiben〃）。 We all rise； and stand like a regiment at attention。
〃Is the stuff prepared？〃 （〃Sind die stoffe parat？〃） demands the
chairman。
〃Sunt；〃 we answer； with one voice。
〃Ad exercitium Salamandri；〃 says the chairman； and we are ready。
〃Eins！〃 We rub our glasses with a circular motion on the table。
〃Zwei！〃 Again the glasses growl； also at 〃Drei！〃
〃Drink！〃 （〃Bibite！〃）
And with mechanical unison every glass is emptied and held on high。
〃Eins！〃 says the chairman。 The foot of every empty glass twirls upon
the table； producing a sound as of the dragging back of a stony beach by a
receding wave。
〃Zwei！〃 The roll swells and sinks again。
〃Drei！〃 The glasses strike the table with a single crash； and we are in
our seats again。
The sport at the Kneipe is for two students to insult each other （in play；
of course）； and to then challenge each other to a drinking duel。 An
umpire is appointed； two huge glasses are filled； and the men sit opposite
each other with their hands upon the handles； all eyes fixed upon them。
The umpire gives the word to go； and in an instant the beer is gurgling
down their throats。 The man who bangs his perfectly finished glass upon
the table first is victor。
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Strangers who are going through a Kneipe； and who wish to do the
thing in German style； will do well； before commencing proceedings； to
pin their name and address upon their coats。 The German student is
courtesy itself； and whatever his own state may be； he will see to it that； by
some means or another； his guest gets safely home before the morning。
But； of course； he cannot be expected to remember addresses。
A story was told me of three guests to a Berlin Kneipe which might
have had tragic results。 The strangers determined to do the thing
thoroughly。 They explained their intention； and were applauded； and
each proceeded to write his address upon his card； and pin it to the
tablecloth in front of him。 That was the mistake they made。 They should；
as I have advised； have pinned it carefully to their coats。 A man may
change his place at a table； quite unconsciously he may come out the other
side of it； but wherever he goes he takes his coat with him。
Some time in the small hours； the chairman suggested that to make
things more comfortable for those still upright； all the gentlemen unable to
keep their heads off the table should be sent home。 Among those to whom
the proceedings had become uninteresting were the three Englishmen。 It
was decided to put them into a cab in charge of a comparatively speaking
sober student； and return them。 Had they retained their original seats
throughout the evening all would have been well； but； unfortunately； they
had gone walking about； and which gentleman belonged to which card
nobody knew least of all the guests themselves。 In the then state of
general cheerfulness； this did not to anybody appear to much matter。
There were three gentlemen and three addresses。 I suppose the idea was
that even if a mistake were made； the parties could be sorted out in the
morning。 Anyhow； the three gentlemen were put into a cab； the
comparatively speaking sober student took the three cards in his hand； and
the party started amid the cheers and good wishes of the company。
There is this advantage about German beer： it does not make a man
drunk as the word drunk is understood in England。 There is nothing
objectionable about him； he is simply tired。 He does not want to talk； he
wants to be let alone； to go to sleep； it does not matter whereanywhere。
The conductor of the party stopped his cab at the nearest address。 He
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took out his worst case； it was a natural instinct to get rid of that first。 He
and the cabman carried it upstairs； and rang the bell of the Pension。 A
sleepy porter answered it。 They carried their burden in； and looked for a
place to drop it。 A bedroom door happened to be open； the room was
empty； could anything be better？… …they took it in there。 They relieved it
of such things as came off easily； and laid it in the bed。 This done； both
men； pleased with themselves； returned to the cab。
At the next address they stopped again。 This time； in answer to their
summons； a lady appeared； dressed in a tea gown； with a book in her hand。
The German student looked at the top one of two cards remaining in his
hand； and enquired if he had the pleasure of addressing Frau Y。 It
happened that he had； though so far as any pleasure was concerned that
appeared to be entirely on his side。 He explained to Frau Y。 that the
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