michael-第34部分

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ight　as　I；　you　have　shown　me　before　now　that　we　do　not　take　the　same　view。〃

Michael　felt　himself　bristling。　　His　father　certainly　had　the　effect　of　drawing　out　in　him　all　the　feelings　that　were　better　suppressed。

〃I　think　we　need　not　talk　of　that　now；　sir；〃　he　remarked。

〃Certainly　it　is　not　the　subject　of　my　interview　with　you　now。　　The　fact　is　this。　　In　some　way　your　presence　gives　a　certain　serenity　and　content　to　your　mother。　　I　noticed　that　at　Ashbridge；　and；　indeed；　there　has　been　some　trouble　with　her　this　morning　because　I　could　not　take　her　to　come　to　see　you　with　me。　　I　ask　you；　therefore；　for　her　sake；　to　be　with　us　as　much　as　you　can；　in　short；　to　come　and　live　with　us。〃

Michael　nodded；　saluting；　so　to　speak；　the　signpost　into　the　future　as　he　passed　it。

〃I　had　already　determined　to　do　that；〃　he　said。　〃I　had　determined；　at　any　rate；　to　ask　your　permission　to　do　so。　　It　is　clear　that　my　mother　wants　me；　and　no　other　consideration　can　weigh　with　that。〃

Lord　Ashbridge　still　remained　completely　self…sufficient。

〃I　am　glad　you　take　that　view　of　it；〃　he　said。　〃I　think　that　is　all　I　have　to　say。〃

Now　Michael　was　an　adept　at　giving；　as　indicated　before；　when　he　gave；　he　gave　nobly；　and　he　could　not　only　outwardly　disregard；　but　he　inwardly　cancelled　the　wonderful　ungenerosity　with　which　his　father　received。　　That　did　not　concern　him。

〃I　will　make　arrangements　to　come　at　once；〃　he　said；　〃if　you　can　receive　me　to…day。〃

〃That　will　hardly　be　worth　while；　will　it？　　I　am　taking　your　mother　back　to　Ashbridge　tomorrow。〃

Michael　got　up　in　silence。　　After　all；　this　gift　of　himself；　of　his　time；　of　his　liberty；　of　all　that　constituted　life　to　him；　was　made　not　to　his　father；　but　to　his　mother。　　It　was　made；　as　his　heart　knew；　not　ungrudgingly　only；　but　eagerly；　and　if　it　had　been　recommended　by　the　doctor　that　she　should　go　to　Ashbridge；　he　would　have　entirely　disregarded　the　large　additional　sacrifice　on　himself　which　it　entailed。　　Thus　it　was　not　owing　to　any　retraction　of　his　gift；　or　reconsideration　of　it；　that　he　demurred。

〃I　hope　you　willwill　meet　me　half…way　about　this；　sir；〃　he　said。　〃You　must　remember　that　all　my　work　lies　in　London。　　I　want；　naturally；　to　continue　that　as　far　as　I　can。　　If　you　go　to　Ashbridge　it　is　completely　interrupted。　　My　friends　are　here　too；　everything　I　have　is　here。〃

His　father　seemed　to　swell　a　little；　he　appeared　to　fill　the　room。

〃And　all　my　duties　lie　at　Ashbridge；〃　he　said。　〃As　you　know；　I　am　not　of　the　type　of　absentee　landlords。　　It　is　quite　impossible　that　I　should　spend　these　months　in　idleness　in　town。　　I　have　never　done　such　a　thing　yet；　nor；　I　may　say；　would　our　class　hold　the　position　they　do　if　we　did。　　We　shall　come　up　to　town　after　Easter；　should　your　mother's　health　permit　it；　but　till　then　I　could　not　dream　of　neglecting　my　duties　in　the　country。〃

Now　Michael　knew　perfectly　well　what　his　father's　duties　on　that　excellently　managed　estate　were。　　They　consisted　of　a　bi…weekly　interview　in　the　〃business…room〃　（an　abode　of　files　and　stags'　heads；　in　which　Lord　Ashbridge　received　various　reports　of　building　schemes　and　repairs）；　of　a　round　of　golf　every　afternoon；　and　of　reading　the　lessons　and　handing　the　offertory…box　on　Sunday。　　That；　at　least；　was　the　sum…total　as　it　presented　itself　to　him；　and　on　which　he　framed　his　conclusions。　　But　he　left　out　altogether　the　moral　effect　of　the　big　landlord　living　on　his　own　land；　and　being　surrounded　by　his　own　dependents；　which　his　father；　on　the　other　hand；　so　vastly　over…estimated。　　It　was　clear　that　there　was　not　likely　to　be　much　accord　between　them　on　this　subject。

〃But　could　you　not　go　down　there　perhaps　once　or　twice　a　week；　and　get　Bailey　to　come　and　consult　you　here？〃　he　asked。

Lord　Ashbridge　held　his　head　very　high。

〃That　would　be　completely　out　of　the　question；〃　he　said。

All　this；　Michael　felt；　had　nothing　to　do　with　the　problem　of　his　mother　and　himself。　　It　was　outside　it　altogether；　and　concerned　only　his　father's　convenience。　　He　was　willing　to　press　this　point　as　far　as　possible。

〃I　had　imagined　you　would　stop　in　London；〃　he　said。　　〃Supposing　under　these　circumstances　I　refuse　to　live　with　you？〃

〃I　should　draw　my　own　conclusion　as　to　the　sincerity　of　your　profession　of　duty　towards　your　mother。〃

〃And　practically　what　would　you　do？〃　asked　Michael。

〃Your　mother　and　I　would　go　to　Ashbridge　tomorrow　all　the　same。〃

Another　alternative　suddenly　suggested　itself　to　Michael　which　he　was　almost　ashamed　of　proposing；　for　it　implied　that　his　father　put　his　own　convenience　as　outweighing　any　other　consideration。　　But　he　saw　that　if　only　Lord　Ashbridge　was　selfish　enough　to　consent　to　it；　it　had　manifest　merits。　　His　mother　would　be　alone　with　him；　free　of　the　presence　that　so　disconcerted　her。

〃I　propose；　then；〃　he　said；　〃that　she　and　I　should　remain　in　town；　as　you　want　to　be　at　Ashbridge。〃

He　had　been　almost　ashamed　of　suggesting　it；　but　no　such　shame　was　reflected　in　his　father's　mind。　　This　would　relieve　him　of　the　perpetual　embarrassment　of　his　wife's　presence；　and　the　perpetual　irritation　of　Michael's。　　He　had　persuaded　himself　that　he　was　making　a　tremendous　personal　sacrifice　in　proposing　that　Michael　should　live　with　them；　and　this　relieved　him　of　the　necessity。

〃Upon　my　word；　Michael；〃　he　said；　with　the　first　hint　of　cordiality　that　he　had　displayed；　〃that　is　very　well　thought　of。　　Let　us　consider；　it　is　certainly　the　case　that　this　derangement　in　your　poor　mother's　mind　has　caused　her　to　take　what　I　might　almost　call　a　dislike　to　me。　　I　mentioned　that　to　Sir　James；　though　it　was　very　painful　for　me　to　do　so；　and　he　said　that　it　was　a　common　and　most　distressing　symptom　of　brain　disease；　that　the　sufferer　often　turned　against　those　he　loved　best。　　Your　plan　would　have　the　effect　of　removing　that。〃

He　paused　a　moment；　and　became　even　more　sublimely　fatuous。

〃You；　too；〃　he　said；　〃it　would　obviate　the　interruption　of　your　work；　about　which　you　feel　so　keenly。　　You　would　be　able　to　go　on　with　it。　　Of　myself；　I　don't　think　at　all。　　I　shall　be　lonely；　no　doubt；　at　Ashbridge；　but　my　own　personal　feelings　must　not　be　taken　into　account。　　Yes；　it　seems　to　me　a　very　sensible　notion。　　We　shall　have　to　see　what　your　mother　says　to　it。　　She　might　not　like　me　to　be　away　from　her；　in　spite　of　her　apparenterdislike　of　me。　　It　must　all　depend　on　her　attitude。　　But　for　my　part　I　think　very　well　of　your　scheme。　　Thank　you；　Michael；　for　suggesting　it。〃

He　left　immediately　after　this　to　ascertain　Lady　Ashbridge's　feelings　about　it；　and　walked　home　with　a　complete　resumption　of　his　usual　exuberance。　　It　indeed　seemed　an　admirable　plan。　　It　relieved　him　from　the　nightmare　of　his　wife's　continual　presence；　and　this　he　expressed　to　himself　by　thinking　that　it　relieved　her　from　his。　　It　was　not　that　he　was　deficient　in　sympathy　for　her；　for　in　his　self…centred　way　he　was　fond　of　her；　but　he　could　sympathise　with　her　just　as　well　at　Ashbridge。　　He　could　do　no　good　to　her；　and　he　had　not　for　her　that　instinct　of　love　which　would　make　it　impossible　for　him　to　leave　her。　　He　would　also　be　spared　the　constant　irritation　of　having　Michael　in　the　house；　and　this　he　expressed　to　himself　by　saying　that　Michael　disliked　him；　and　would　be　far　more　at　his　ease　without　him。　　Furthermore；　Michael　would　be　able　to　continue　his　studies　。　。　。　of　this　too；　in　spite　of　the　fact　that　he　had　always　done　his　best　to　discourage　them；　he　made　a　self…laudatory　translation；　by　telling　himself　that　he　was　very　glad　not　to　have　to　cause　Michael　to　discontinue　them。　　In　fine；　he　persuaded　himself；　without　any　difficulty；　that　he　was　a　very　fine　fellow　in　consenting　to　a　plan　that　suited　him　so　admirably；　and　only　wondered　that　he　had　not　thought　of　it　himself。　　There　was　nothing；　after　his　wife　had　expressed　her　joyful　acceptance　of　it；　to　detain　him　in　town；　and　he　left　for　Ashbridge　that　afternoon；　while　Michael　moved　into　the　house　in　Curzon　Street。

Michael　entered　upon　his　new　life　without　the　smallest　sense　of　having　done　anything　exceptional　or　even　creditable。　　It　was　so　perfectly　obvious　to　him　that　he　had　to　be　with　his　mother　that　he　had　no　inclination　to　regard　himself　at　all　in　the　matter；　the　thing　was　as　simple　as　it　had　been　to　him　to　help　Francis　out　of　financial　difficulties　with　a　gift　of　money。　　There　was　no　effort　of　will；　no　sense　of　sacrifice　about　it；　it　was　merely　the　assertion　of　a　paramount　instinct。　　The　life　limited　his　freedom；　for；　for　a　great　part　of　the　day　he　was　with　his　mother；　and　between　his　music　and　his　attendance　on　her；　he　had　but　little　leisure。　　Occasionally　he　went　out　to　see　his　friends；　but　any　prolonged　absence　on　his　part　always　made　her　uneasy；　and　he　would　often　find　her；　on　his　return；　sitting　in　the　hall；　waiting　for　him；　so　as　to　enjoy　his　presence　from　the　first　moment　that　he　re…　entered　the　house。　　But　though　he　found　no　food　for　reflection　in　himself；　Aunt　Barbara；　who　came　to　see　them　some　few　days　after　Michael　had　been　installed　here；　found　a　good　deal。

They　had　all　had　tea　together；　and　afterwards　Lady　Ashbridge's　nurse　had　come　down　to　fetch　her　upstairs　to　rest。　　And　then　Aunt　Barbara　surprised　Michael；　for　she　came　across　the　room　to　him；　with　her　kind　eyes　full　of　tears；　and　kissed　him。

〃My　dear；　I　must　say　it　once；〃　she　said；　〃and　then　you　will　know　that　it　is　always　in　my　mind。　　You　have　behaved　nobly；　Michael；　it's　a　big　word；　but　I　know　no　other。　　As　for　your　father〃

Michael　interrupted　her。

〃Oh；　I　don't　understand　him；〃　he　said。　　〃At　least；　that's　the　best　way　to　look　at　it。　　Let's　leave　him　out。〃

He　paused　a　moment。

〃After　all；　it　is　a　much　better　plan　than　our　living　all　three　of　us　at　Ashbridge。　　It's　better　for　my　mother；　and　for　me；　and　for　him。〃

〃I　know；　but　how　he　could　consent　to　the　better　plan；〃　she　said。　〃Well；　let　us　leave　him　out。　　Poor　Robert！　　He　and　his　golf。　　My　dear；　your　father　is　a　very　ludicrous　person；　you　know。　　But　about　you；　Michael；　do　you　think　you　can　stand　it？〃

He　smiled　at　her。

〃Why；　of　course　I　can；〃　he　said。　　〃Indeed；　I　don't　think　I'll　accept　that　statement　of　it。　　It'sit's　such　a　score　to　be　able　to　be　of　use；　you　know。　　I　can　make　my　mother　happy。　　Nobody　else　can。　I　think　I'm　ge