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Here ended our colloquy。 We crossed the valley�察�and began to ascend
the opposite hill。 As we were toiling up�察�I looked back again�察�there was
the village spire�察 �and the old grey parsonage beyond it�察 �basking in a
slanting beam of sunshine ´ it was but a sickly ray�察 �but the village and
surrounding hills were all in sombre shade�察 �and I hailed the wandering
beam as a propitious omen to my home。 With clasped hands I fervently
implored a blessing on its inhabitants�察�and hastily turned away�察�for I saw
the sunshine was departing�察�and I carefully avoided another glance�察�lest I
should see it in gloomy shadow�察�like the rest of the landscape。
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AGNES GREY
CHAPTER II ´ FIRST LESSONS
IN THE ART OF INSTRUCTION
AS we drove along�察 �my spirits revived again�察 �and I turned�察 �with
pleasure�察�to the contemplation of the new life upon which I was entering。
But though it was not far past the middle of September�察�the heavy clouds
and strong north´easterly wind combined to render the day extremely cold
and dreary�察 �and the journey seemed a very long one�察 �for�察 �as Smith
observed�察 �the roads were 'very heavy'�察 �and certainly�察 �his horse was very
heavy too�此 �it crawled up the hills�察 �and crept down them�察 �and only
condescended to shake its sides in a trot where the road was at a dead level
or a very gentle slope�察�which was rarely the case in those rugged regions�察�
so that it was nearly one o'clock before we reached the place of our
destination。 Yet�察�after all�察�when we entered the lofty iron gateway�察�when
we drove softly up the smooth�察�well´rolled carriage´road�察�with the green
lawn on each side�察�studded with young trees�察�and approached the new but
stately mansion of Wellwood�察 �rising above its mushroom poplar´groves�察�
my heart failed me�察�and I wished it were a mile or two farther off。 For
the first time in my life I must stand alone�此�there was no retreating now。 I
must enter that house�察�and introduce myself among its strange inhabitants。
But how was it to be done�拭 �True�察�I was near nineteen�察�but�察�thanks to my
retired life and the protecting care of my mother and sister�察�I well knew
that many a girl of fifteen�察 �or under�察 �was gifted with a more womanly
address�察 �and greater ease and self´possession�察 �than I was。 Yet�察 �if Mrs。
Bloomfield were a kind�察�motherly woman�察�I might do very well�察�after all�察�
and the children�察�of course�察�I should soon be at ease with them ´ and Mr。
Bloomfield�察�I hoped�察�I should have but little to do with。
'Be calm�察�be calm�察�whatever happens��' I said within myself�察�and truly I
kept this resolution so well�察 �and was so fully occupied in steadying my
nerves and stifling the rebellious flutter of my heart�察 �that when I was
admitted into the hall and ushered into the presence of Mrs。 Bloomfield�察�I
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AGNES GREY
almost forgot to answer her polite salutation�察�and it afterwards struck me�察�
that the little I did say was spoken in the tone of one half´dead or half´
asleep。 The lady�察 �too�察 �was somewhat chilly in her manner�察 �as I
discovered when I had time to reflect。 She was a tall�察 �spare�察 �stately
woman�察 �with thick black hair�察 �cold grey eyes�察 �and extremely sallow
complexion。
With due politeness�察�however�察�she showed me my bedroom�察�and left
me there to take a little refreshment。 I was somewhat dismayed at my
appearance on looking in the glass�此 �the cold wind had swelled and
reddened my hands�察�uncurled and entangled my hair�察�and dyed my face of
a pale purple�察 �add to this my collar was horridly crumpled�察 �my frock
splashed with mud�察�my feet clad in stout new boots�察�and as the trunks were
not brought up�察�there was no remedy�察�so having smoothed my hair as well
as I could�察 �and repeatedly twitched my obdurate collar�察 �I proceeded to
clomp down the two flights of stairs�察�philosophizing as I went�察�and with
some difficulty found my way into the room where Mrs。 Bloomfield
awaited me。
She led me into the dining´room�察�where the family luncheon had been
laid out。 Some beefsteaks and half´cold potatoes were set before me�察�and
while I dined upon these�察�she sat opposite�察�watching me ��as I thought�� and
endeavouring to sustain something like a conversation ´ consisting chiefly
of a succession of commonplace remarks�察�expressed with frigid formality�此�
but this might be more my fault than hers�察�for I really could NOT converse。
In fact�察�my attention was almost wholly absorbed in my dinner�此 �not from
ravenous appetite�察�but from distress at the toughness of the beefsteaks�察�and
the numbness of my hands�察�almost palsied by their five´hours' exposure to
the bitter wind。 I would gladly have eaten the potatoes and let the meat
alone�察�but having got a large piece of the latter on to my plate�察�I could not
be so impolite as to leave it�察 �so�察 �after many awkward and unsuccessful
attempts to cut it with the knife�察�or tear it with the fork�察�or pull it asunder
between them�察�sensible that the awful lady was a spectator to the whole
transaction�察�I at last desperately grasped the knife and fork in my fists�察�like
a child of two years old�察 �and fell to work with all the little strength I
possessed。 But this needed some apology ´ with a feeble attempt at a
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AGNES GREY
laugh�察�I said�察�'My hands are so benumbed with the cold that I can scarcely
handle my knife and fork。'
'I daresay you would find it cold��' replied she with a cool�察�immutable
gravity that did not serve to re´assure me。
When the ceremony was concluded�察�she led me into the sitting´room
again�察�where she rang and sent for the children。
'You will find them not very far advanced in their attainments��' said
she�察�'for I have had so little time to attend to their education myself�察�and
we have thought them too young for a governess till now�察�but I think they
are clever children�察�and very apt to learn�察�especially the little boy�察�he is�察�I
think�察�the flower of the flock ´ a generous�察�noble´spirited boy�察�one to be
led�察 �but not driven�察 �and remarkable for always speaking the truth。 He
seems to scorn deception' ��this was good news��。 'His sister Mary Ann
will require watching��' continued she�察�'but she is a very good girl upon the
whole�察�though I wish her to be kept out of the nursery as much as possible�察�
as she is now almost six years old�察�and might acquire bad habits from the
nurses。 I have ordered her crib to be placed in your room�察�and if you will
be so kind as to overlook her washing and dressing�察�and take charge of her
clothes�察�she need have nothing further to do with the nursery maid。'
I replied I was quite willing to do so�察�and at that moment my young
pupils entered the apartment�察�with their two younger sisters。 Master Tom
Bloomfield was a well´grown boy of seven�察�with a somewhat wiry frame�察�
flaxen hair�察�blue eyes�察�small turned´up nose�察�and fair complexion。 Mary
Ann was a tall girl too�察�somewhat dark like her mother�察�but with a round
full face and a high colour in her cheeks。 The second sister was Fanny�察�a
very pretty little girl�察�Mrs。 Bloomfield assured me she was a remarkably
gentle child�察�and required encouragement�此 �she had not learned anything
yet�察�but in a few days�察�she would be four years old�察�and then she might
take her first lesson in the alphabet�察�and be promoted to the schoolroom。
The remaining one was Harriet�察�a little broad�察�fat�察�merry�察�playful thing of
scarcely two�察 �that I coveted more than all the rest ´ but with her I had
nothing to do。
I talked to my little pupils as well as I could�察�and tried to render myself
agreeable�察�but with little success I fear�察�for their mother's presence kept me
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under an unpleasant restraint。 They�察�however�察�were remarkably free from
shyness。 They seemed bold�察�lively children�察�and I hoped I should soon
be on friendly terms with them ´ the little boy especially�察�of whom I had
heard such a favourable character from his mamma。 In Mary Ann there
was a certain affected simper�察�and a craving for notice�察�that I was sorry to
observe。 But her brother claimed all my attention to himself�察 �he stood
bolt upright between me and the fire�察 �with his hands behind his back�察�
talking away like an orator�察�occasionally interrupting his discourse with a
sharp reproof to his sisters when they made too much noise。
'Oh�察�Tom�察�what a darling you are��' exclaimed his mother。 'Come and
kiss dear mamma�察�and then won't you show Miss Grey your schoolroom�察�
and your nice new books��'
'I won't kiss YOU�察 �mamma�察 �but I WILL show Miss Grey my
schoolroom�察�and my new books。'
'And MY sc