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my pupils a certain task�察 �which�察 �with moderate attention�察 �they could
perform in a short time�察�and till this was done�察�however weary I was�察�or
however perverse they might be�察 �nothing short of parental interference
should induce me to suffer them to leave the schoolroom�察�even if I should
sit with my chair against the door to keep them in。 Patience�察�Firmness�察�
and Perseverance were my only weapons�察�and these I resolved to use to
the utmost。 I determined always strictly to fulfil the threats and promises
I made�察 �and�察 �to that end�察 �I must be cautious to threaten and promise
nothing that I could not perform。 Then�察�I would carefully refrain from all
useless irritability and indulgence of my own ill´temper�此 �when they
behaved tolerably�察�I would be as kind and obliging as it was in my power
to be�察�in order to make the widest possible distinction between good and
bad conduct�察 �I would reason with them�察 �too�察 �in the simplest and most
effective manner。 When I reproved them�察 �or refused to gratify their
wishes�察 �after a glaring fault�察 �it should be more in sorrow than in anger�此�
their little hymns and prayers I would make plain and clear to their
understanding�察�when they said their prayers at night and asked pardon for
their offences�察�I would remind them of the sins of the past day�察�solemnly�察�
but in perfect kindness�察�to avoid raising a spirit of opposition�察�penitential
hymns should be said by the naughty�察�cheerful ones by the comparatively
good�察�and every kind of instruction I would convey to them�察�as much as
possible�察�by entertaining discourse ´ apparently with no other object than
their present amusement in view。
By these means I hoped in time both to benefit the children and to gain
the approbation of their parents�察�and also to convince my friends at home
that I was not so wanting in skill and prudence as they supposed。 I knew
the difficulties I had to contend with were great�察 �but I knew ��at least I
believed�� unremitting patience and perseverance could overcome them�察�
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and night and morning I implored Divine assistance to this end。 But
either the children were so incorrigible�察 �the parents so unreasonable�察 �or
myself so mistaken in my views�察�or so unable to carry them out�察�that my
best intentions and most strenuous efforts seemed productive of no better
result than sport to the children�察 �dissatisfaction to their parents�察 �and
torment to myself。
The task of instruction was as arduous for the body as the mind。 I
had to run after my pupils to catch them�察�to carry or drag them to the table�察�
and often forcibly to hold them there till the lesson was done。 Tom I
frequently put into a corner�察�seating myself before him in a chair�察�with a
book which contained the little task that must be said or read�察�before he
was released�察 �in my hand。 He was not strong enough to push both me
and the chair away�察�so he would stand twisting his body and face into the
most grotesque and singular contortions ´ laughable�察 �no doubt�察 �to an
unconcerned spectator�察�but not to me ´ and uttering loud yells and doleful
outcries�察 �intended to represent weeping but wholly without the
accompaniment of tears。 I knew this was done solely for the purpose of
annoying me�察 �and�察 �therefore�察 �however I might inwardly tremble with
impatience and irritation�察�I manfully strove to suppress all visible signs of
molestation�察 �and affected to sit with calm indifference�察 �waiting till it
should please him to cease this pastime�察 �and prepare for a run in the
garden�察�by casting his eye on the book and reading or repeating the few
words he was required to say。 Sometimes he was determined to do his
writing badly�察�and I had to hold his hand to prevent him from purposely
blotting or disfiguring the paper。 Frequently I threatened that�察�if he did
not do better�察 �he should have another line�此 �then he would stubbornly
refuse to write this line�察�and I�察�to save my word�察�had finally to resort to the
expedient of holding his fingers upon the pen�察 �and forcibly drawing his
hand up and down�察�till�察�in spite of his resistance�察�the line was in some sort
completed。
Yet Tom was by no means the most unmanageable of my pupils�此�
sometimes�察�to my great joy�察�he would have the sense to see that his wisest
policy was to finish his tasks�察�and go out and amuse himself till I and his
sisters came to join him�察�which frequently was not at all�察 �for Mary Ann
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seldom followed his example in this particular�此 �she apparently preferred
rolling on the floor to any other amusement�此 �down she would drop like a
leaden weight�察�and when I�察�with great difficulty�察�had succeeded in rooting
her thence�察�I had still to hold her up with one arm�察�while with the other I
held the book from which she was to read or spell her lesson。 As the
dead weight of the big girl of six became too heavy for one arm to bear�察�I
transferred it to the other�察�or�察�if both were weary of the burden�察�I carried
her into a corner�察�and told her she might come out when she should find
the use of her feet�察�and stand up�此�but she generally preferred lying there
like a log till dinner or teatime�察�when�察 �as I could not deprive her of her
meals�察�she must be liberated�察�and would come crawling out with a grin of
triumph on her round�察 �red face。 Often she would stubbornly refuse to
pronounce some particular word in her lesson�察�and now I regret the lost
labour I have had in striving to conquer her obstinacy。 If I had passed it
over as a matter of no consequence�察 �it would have been better for both
parties�察 �than vainly striving to overcome it as I did�察 �but I thought it my
absolute duty to crush this vicious tendency in the bud�此 �and so it was�察�if I
could have done it�察 �and had my powers been less limited�察 �I might have
enforced obedience�察�but�察�as it was�察�it was a trial of strength between her
and me�察 �in which she generally came off victorious�察 �and every victory
served to encourage and strengthen her for a future contest。 In vain I
argued�察�coaxed�察�entreated�察�threatened�察�scolded�察�in vain I kept her in from
play�察�or�察�if obliged to take her out�察 �refused to play with her�察�or to speak
kindly or have anything to do with her�察�in vain I tried to set before her the
advantages of doing as she was bid�察�and being loved�察�and kindly treated in
consequence�察�and the disadvantages of persisting in her absurd perversity。
Sometimes�察 �when she would ask me to do something for her�察 �I would
answer�察 � 'Yes�察�I will�察�Mary Ann�察�if you will only say that word。 Come� �
you'd better say it at once�察�and have no more trouble about it。'
'No。'
'Then�察�of course�察�I can do nothing for you。'
With me�察 �at her age�察 �or under�察 �neglect and disgrace were the most
dreadful of punishments�察�but on her they made no impression。 Sometimes�察�
exasperated to the utmost pitch�察 �I would shake her violently by the
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shoulder�察 �or pull her long hair�察 �or put her in the corner�察 �for which she
punished me with loud�察 �shrill�察 �piercing screams�察 �that went through my
head like a knife。 She knew I hated this�察�and when she had shrieked her
utmost�察 �would look into my face with an air of vindictive satisfaction�察�
exclaiming�察 � 'NOW�察 �then� �THAT'S for you��' and then shriek again and
again�察�till I was forced to stop my ears。 Often these dreadful cries would
bring Mrs。 Bloomfield up to inquire what was the matter�拭�
'Mary Ann is a naughty girl�察�ma'am。'
'But what are these shocking screams��'
'She is screaming in a passion。'
'I never heard such a dreadful noise� �You might be killing her。 Why
is she not out with her brother��'
'I cannot get her to finish her lessons。'
'But Mary Ann must be a GOOD girl�察�and finish her lessons。' This
was blandly spoken to the child。 'And I hope I shall NEVER hear such
terrible cries again��'
And fixing her cold�察�stony eyes upon me with a look that could not be
mistaken�察�she would shut the door�察�and walk away。 Sometimes I would
try to take the little obstinate creature by surprise�察�and casually ask her the
word while she was thinking of something else�察 �frequently she would
begin to say it�察 �and then suddenly cheek herself�察 �with a provoking look
that seemed to say�察�'Ah� �I'm too sharp for you�察�you shan't trick it out of me�察�
either。'
On another occasion�察�I pretended to forget the whole affair�察�and talked
and played wit