three men in a boat-第5部分

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that！〃



Harris　will　be　just　that　sort　of　man　when　he　grows　up；　I　know；　and　I　told　

him　so。　　I　said　I　could　not　permit　him　to　take　so　much　labour　upon　

himself。　　I　said：



〃No；　YOU　get　the　paper；　and　the　pencil；　and　the　catalogue；　and　George　

write　down；　and　I'll　do　the　work。〃



The　first　list　we　made　out　had　to　be　discarded。　　It　was　clear　that　the　

upper　reaches　of　the　Thames　would　not　allow　of　the　navigation　of　a　boat　

sufficiently　large　to　take　the　things　we　had　set　down　as　indispensable；　

so　we　tore　the　list　up；　and　looked　at　one　another！



George　said：



〃You　know　we　are　on　a　wrong　track　altogether。　　We　must　not　think　of　the　

things　we　could　do　with；　but　only　of　the　things　that　we　can't　do　

without。〃



George　comes　out　really　quite　sensible　at　times。　　You'd　be　surprised。　　I　

call　that　downright　wisdom；　not　merely　as　regards　the　present　case；　but　

with　reference　to　our　trip　up　the　river　of　life；　generally。　　How　many　

people；　on　that　voyage；　load　up　the　boat　till　it　is　ever　in　danger　of　

swamping　with　a　store　of　foolish　things　which　they　think　essential　to　the　

pleasure　and　comfort　of　the　trip；　but　which　are　really　only　useless　

lumber。



How　they　pile　the　poor　little　craft　mast…high　with　fine　clothes　and　big　

houses；　with　useless　servants；　and　a　host　of　swell　friends　that　do　not　

care　twopence　for　them；　and　that　they　do　not　care　three　ha'pence　for；　

with　expensive　entertainments　that　nobody　enjoys；　with　formalities　and　

fashions；　with　pretence　and　ostentation；　and　with　…　oh；　heaviest；　maddest　

lumber　of　all！　…　the　dread　of　what　will　my　neighbour　think；　with　luxuries　

that　only　cloy；　with　pleasures　that　bore；　with　empty　show　that；　like　the　

criminal's　iron　crown　of　yore；　makes　to　bleed　and　swoon　the　aching　head　

that　wears　it！



It　is　lumber；　man　…　all　lumber！　　Throw　it　overboard。　　It　makes　the　boat　

so　heavy　to　pull；　you　nearly　faint　at　the　oars。　　It　makes　it　so　

cumbersome　and　dangerous　to　manage；　you　never　know　a　moment's　freedom　

from　anxiety　and　care；　never　gain　a　moment's　rest　for　dreamy　laziness　…　

no　time　to　watch　the　windy　shadows　skimming　lightly　o'er　the　shallows；　or　

the　glittering　sunbeams　flitting　in　and　out　among　the　ripples；　or　the　

great　trees　by　the　margin　looking　down　at　their　own　image；　or　the　woods　

all　green　and　golden；　or　the　lilies　white　and　yellow；　or　the　sombre…

waving　rushes；　or　the　sedges；　or　the　orchis；　or　the　blue　forget…me…nots。



Throw　the　lumber　over；　man！　　Let　your　boat　of　life　be　light；　packed　with　

only　what　you　need　…　a　homely　home　and　simple　pleasures；　one　or　two　

friends；　worth　the　name；　someone　to　love　and　someone　to　love　you；　a　cat；　

a　dog；　and　a　pipe　or　two；　enough　to　eat　and　enough　to　wear；　and　a　little　

more　than　enough　to　drink；　for　thirst　is　a　dangerous　thing。



You　will　find　the　boat　easier　to　pull　then；　and　it　will　not　be　so　liable　

to　upset；　and　it　will　not　matter　so　much　if　it　does　upset；　good；　plain　

merchandise　will　stand　water。　　You　will　have　time　to　think　as　well　as　to　

work。　　Time　to　drink　in　life's　sunshine　…　time　to　listen　to　the　AEolian　

music　that　the　wind　of　God　draws　from　the　human　heart…strings　around　us　…　

time　to　…



I　beg　your　pardon；　really。　　I　quite　forgot。



Well；　we　left　the　list　to　George；　and　he　began　it。



〃We　won't　take　a　tent；　suggested　George；　〃we　will　have　a　boat　with　a　

cover。　　It　is　ever　so　much　simpler；　and　more　comfortable。〃



It　seemed　a　good　thought；　and　we　adopted　it。　　I　do　not　know　whether　you　

have　ever　seen　the　thing　I　mean。　　You　fix　iron　hoops　up　over　the　boat；　

and　stretch　a　huge　canvas　over　them；　and　fasten　it　down　all　round；　from　

stem　to　stern；　and　it　converts　the　boat　into　a　sort　of　little　house；　and　

it　is　beautifully　cosy；　though　a　trifle　stuffy；　but　there；　everything　has　

its　drawbacks；　as　the　man　said　when　his　mother…in…law　died；　and　they　came　

down　upon　him　for　the　funeral　expenses。



George　said　that　in　that　case　we　must　take　a　rug　each；　a　lamp；　some　soap；　

a　brush　and　comb　（between　us）；　a　toothbrush　（each）；　a　basin；　some　tooth…

powder；　some　shaving　tackle　（sounds　like　a　French　exercise；　doesn't　it？）；　

and　a　couple　of　big…towels　for　bathing。　　I　notice　that　people　always　make　

gigantic　arrangements　for　bathing　when　they　are　going　anywhere　near　the　

water；　but　that　they　don't　bathe　much　when　they　are　there。



It　is　the　same　when　you　go　to　the　sea…side。　　I　always　determine　…　when　

thinking　over　the　matter　in　London　…　that　I'll　get　up　early　every　

morning；　and　go　and　have　a　dip　before　breakfast；　and　I　religiously　pack　

up　a　pair　of　drawers　and　a　bath　towel。　　I　always　get　red　bathing　drawers。　　

I　rather　fancy　myself　in　red　drawers。　　They　suit　my　complexion　so。　　But　

when　I　get　to　the　sea　I　don't　feel　somehow　that　I　want　that　early　morning　

bathe　nearly　so　much　as　I　did　when　I　was　in　town。



On　the　contrary；　I　feel　more　that　I　want　to　stop　in　bed　till　the　last　

moment；　and　then　come　down　and　have　my　breakfast。　　Once　or　twice　virtue　

has　triumphed；　and　I　have　got　out　at　six　and　half…dressed　myself；　and　

have　taken　my　drawers　and　towel；　and　stumbled　dismally　off。　　But　I　

haven't　enjoyed　it。　　They　seem　to　keep　a　specially　cutting　east　wind；　

waiting　for　me；　when　I　go　to　bathe　in　the　early　morning；　and　they　pick　

out　all　the　three…cornered　stones；　and　put　them　on　the　top；　and　they　

sharpen　up　the　rocks　and　cover　the　points　over　with　a　bit　of　sand　so　that　

I　can't　see　them；　and　they　take　the　sea　and　put　it　two　miles　out；　so　that　

I　have　to　huddle　myself　up　in　my　arms　and　hop；　shivering；　through　six　

inches　of　water。　　And　when　I　do　get　to　the　sea；　it　is　rough　and　quite　

insulting。



One　huge　wave　catches　me　up　and　chucks　me　in　a　sitting　posture；　as　hard　

as　ever　it　can；　down　on　to　a　rock　which　has　been　put　there　for　me。　　And；　

before　I've　said　〃Oh！　Ugh！〃　and　found　out　what　has　gone；　the　wave　comes　

back　and　carries　me　out　to　mid…ocean。　　I　begin　to　strike　out　frantically　

for　the　shore；　and　wonder　if　I　shall　ever　see　home　and　friends　again；　and　

wish　I'd　been　kinder　to　my　little　sister　when　a　boy　（when　I　was　a　boy；　I　

mean）。　　Just　when　I　have　given　up　all　hope；　a　wave　retires　and　leaves　me　

sprawling　like　a　star…fish　on　the　sand；　and　I　get　up　and　look　back　and　

find　that　I've　been　swimming　for　my　life　in　two　feet　of　water。　　I　hop　

back　and　dress；　and　crawl　home；　where　I　have　to　pretend　I　liked　it。



In　the　present　instance；　we　all　talked　as　if　we　were　going　to　have　a　long　

swim　every　morning。



George　said　it　was　so　pleasant　to　wake　up　in　the　boat　in　the　fresh　

morning；　and　plunge　into　the　limpid　river。　　Harris　said　there　was　nothing　

like　a　swim　before　breakfast　to　give　you　an　appetite。　　He　said　it　always　

gave　him　an　appetite。　　George　said　that　if　it　was　going　to　make　Harris　

eat　more　than　Harris　ordinarily　ate；　then　he　should　protest　against　

Harris　having　a　bath　at　all。



He　said　there　would　be　quite　enough　hard　work　in　towing　sufficient　food　

for　Harris　up　against　stream；　as　it　was。



I　urged　upon　George；　however；　how　much　pleasanter　it　would　be　to　have　

Harris　clean　and　fresh　about　the　boat；　even　if　we　did　have　to　take　a　few　

more　hundredweight　of　provisions；　and　he　got　to　see　it　in　my　light；　and　

withdrew　his　opposition　to　Harris's　bath。



Agreed；　finally；　that　we　should　take　THREE　bath　towels；　so　as　not　to　keep　

each　other　waiting。



For　clothes；　George　said　two　suits　of　flannel　would　be　sufficient；　as　we　

could　wash　them　ourselves；　in　the　river；　when　they　got　dirty。　　We　asked　

him　if　he　had　ever　tried　washing　flannels　in　the　river；　and　he　replied：　

〃No；　not　exactly　himself　like；　but　he　knew　some　fellows　who　had；　and　it　

was　easy　enough；〃　and　Harris　and　I　were　weak　enough　to　fancy　he　knew　what　

he　was　talking　about；　and　that　three　respectable　young　men；　without　

position　or　influence；　and　with　no　experience　in　washing；　could　really　

clean　their　own　shirts　and　trousers　in　the　river　Thames　with　a　bit　of　

soap。



We　were　to　learn　in　the　days　to　come；　when　it　was　too　late；　that　George　

was　a　miserable　impostor；　who　could　evidently　have　known　nothing　whatever　

about　the　matter。　　If　you　had　seen　these　clothes　after　…　but；　as　the　

shilling　shockers　say；　we　anticipate。



George　impressed　upon　us　to　take　a　change　of　under…things　and　plenty　of　

socks；　in　case　we　got　upset　and　wanted　a　change；　also　plenty　of　

handkerchiefs；　as　they　would　do　to　wipe　things；　and　a　pair　of　leather　

boots　as　well　as　our　boating　shoes；　as　we　should　want　them　if　we　got　

upset。









CHAPTER　IV。





THE　FOOD　QUESTION。　…　OBJECTIONS　TO　PARAFFINE　OIL　AS　AN　ATMOSPHERE。　…　

ADVANTAGES　OF　CHEESE　AS　A　TRAVELLING　COMPANION。　…　A　MARRIED　WOMAN　DESERTS　

HER　HOME。　…　FURTHER　PROVISION　FOR　GETTING　UPSET。　…　I　PACK。　…　CUSSEDNESS　

OF　TOOTH…BRUSHES。　…　GEORGE　AND　HARRIS　PACK。　…　AWFUL　BEHAVIOUR　OF　

MONTMORENCY。　…　WE　RETIRE　TO　REST。



THEN　we　discussed　the　food　question。　　George　said：



〃Begin　with　breakfast。〃　　（George　is　so　practical。）　　〃Now　for　breakfast　we　

shall　want　a　frying…pan〃　…　（Harris　said　it　was　indigestible；　but　we　

merely　urged　him　not　to　be　an　ass；　and　George　went　on）　…　〃a　tea…pot　and　a　

kettle；　and　a　methylated　spirit　stove。〃



〃No　oil；〃　said　George；　with　a　significant　look；　and　Harris　and　I　agreed。



We　had　taken　up　an　oil…stove　once；　but　〃never　again。〃　　It　had　been　like　

living　in　an　oil…shop　that　week。　　It　oozed。　　I　never　saw　such　a　thing　as　

paraffine　oil　is　to　ooze。　　We　kept　it　in　the　nose　of　the　boat；　and；　from　

there；　it　oozed　down　to　the　rudder；　impregnating　the　whole　boat　and　

everything　in　it　on　its　way；　and　it　oozed　over　the　river；　and　saturated　

the　scenery　and　spoilt　the　atmosphere。　　Sometimes　a　westerly　oily　wind　

blew；　and　at　other　times　an　easterly　oily　wind；　and　sometimes　it　blew　a　

northerly　oily　wind；　and　maybe　a　southerly　oily　wind；　but　whether　it　came　

from　the　Arctic　snows；　or　was　raised　in　the　waste　of　the　desert　sands；　it　

came　alike　to　us　laden　w