three men on the bummel-第16部分

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behind　a　remarkably　fine　elm；　pulled　out　and　commenced　filling　his
pipe。

I　did　not　care　to　take　the　tandem　on　by　myself；　so　I　stepped　off
and　joined　him；　leaving　the　machine　against　a　tree。　　Harris　shouted
something　or　other　about　our　being　a　disgrace　to　the　land　that　gave
us　birth；　and　rode　on。

The　next　moment　I　heard　a　woman's　cry　of　distress。　　Glancing　round
the　stem　of　the　tree；　I　perceived　that　it　proceeded　from　the　young
and　elegant　lady　before　mentioned；　whom；　in　our　interest　concerning
the　road…waterer；　we　had　forgotten。　　She　was　riding　her　machine
steadily　and　straightly　through　a　drenching　shower　of　water　from
the　hose。　　She　appeared　to　be　too　paralysed　either　to　get　off　or
turn　her　wheel　aside。　　Every　instant　she　was　becoming　wetter；　while
the　man　with　the　hose；　who　was　either　drunk　or　blind；　continued　to
pour　water　upon　her　with　utter　indifference。　　A　dozen　voices　yelled
imprecations　upon　him；　but　he　took　no　heed　whatever。

Harris；　his　fatherly　nature　stirred　to　its　depths；　did　at　this
point　what；　under　the　circumstances；　was　quite　the　right　and　proper
thing　to　do。　　Had　he　acted　throughout　with　the　same　coolness　and
judgment　he　then　displayed；　he　would　have　emerged　from　that
incident　the　hero　of　the　hour；　instead　of；　as　happened；　riding　away
followed　by　insult　and　threat。　　Without　a　moment's　hesitation　he
spurted　at　the　man；　sprang　to　the　ground；　and；　seizing　the　hose　by
the　nozzle；　attempted　to　wrest　it　away。

What　he　ought　to　have　done；　what　any　man　retaining　his　common　sense
would　have　done　the　moment　he　got　his　hands　upon　the　thing；　was　to
turn　off　the　tap。　　Then　he　might　have　played　foot…ball　with　the
man；　or　battledore　and　shuttlecock　as　he　pleased；　and　the　twenty　or
thirty　people　who　had　rushed　forward　to　assist　would　have　only
applauded。　　His　idea；　however；　as　he　explained　to　us　afterwards；
was　to　take　away　the　hose　from　the　man；　and；　for　punishment；　turn
it　upon　the　fool　himself。　　The　waterman's　idea　appeared　to　be　the
same；　namely；　to　retain　the　hose　as　a　weapon　with　which　to　soak
Harris。　　Of　course；　the　result　was　that；　between　them；　they　soused
every　dead　and　living　thing　within　fifty　yards；　except　themselves。
One　furious　man；　too　drenched　to　care　what　more　happened　to　him；
leapt　into　the　arena　and　also　took　a　hand。　　The　three　among　them
proceeded　to　sweep　the　compass　with　that　hose。　　They　pointed　it　to
heaven；　and　the　water　descended　upon　the　people　in　the　form　of　an
equinoctial　storm。　　They　pointed　it　downwards；　and　sent　the　water
in　rushing　streams　that　took　people　off　their　feet；　or　caught　them
about　the　waist　line；　and　doubled　them　up。

Not　one　of　them　would　loosen　his　grip　upon　the　hose；　not　one　of
them　thought　to　turn　the　water　off。　　You　might　have　concluded　they
were　struggling　with　some　primeval　force　of　nature。　　In　forty…five
seconds；　so　George　said；　who　was　timing　it；　they　had　swept　that
circus　bare　of　every　living　thing　except　one　dog；　who；　dripping
like　a　water　nymph；　rolled　over　by　the　force　of　water；　now　on　this
side；　now　on　that；　still　gallantly　staggered　again　and　again　to　its
feet　to　bark　defiance　at　what　it　evidently　regarded　as　the　powers
of　hell　let　loose。

Men　and　women　left　their　machines　upon　the　ground；　and　flew　into
the　woods。　　From　behind　every　tree　of　importance　peeped　out　wet；
angry　heads。

At　last；　there　arrived　upon　the　scene　one　man　of　sense。　　Braving
all　things；　he　crept　to　the　hydrant；　where　still　stood　the　iron
key；　and　screwed　it　down。　　And　then　from　forty　trees　began　to　creep
more　or　less　soaked　human　beings；　each　one　with　something　to　say。

At　first　I　fell　to　wondering　whether　a　stretcher　or　a　clothes
basket　would　be　the　more　useful　for　the　conveyance　of　Harris's
remains　back　to　the　hotel。　　I　consider　that　George's　promptness　on
that　occasion　saved　Harris's　life。　　Being　dry；　and　therefore　able
to　run　quicker；　he　was　there　before　the　crowd。　　Harris　was　for
explaining　things；　but　George　cut　him　short。

〃You　get　on　that；〃　said　George；　handing　him　his　bicycle；　〃and　go。
They　don't　know　we　belong　to　you；　and　you　may　trust　us　implicitly
not　to　reveal　the　secret。　　We'll　hang　about　behind；　and　get　in
their　way。　　Ride　zig…zag　in　case　they　shoot。〃

I　wish　this　book　to　be　a　strict　record　of　fact；　unmarred　by
exaggeration；　and　therefore　I　have　shown　my　description　of　this
incident　to　Harris；　lest　anything　beyond　bald　narrative　may　have
crept　into　it。　　Harris　maintains　it　is　exaggerated；　but　admits　that
one　or　two　people　may　have　been　〃sprinkled。〃　　I　have　offered　to
turn　a　street　hose　on　him　at　a　distance　of　five…and…twenty　yards；
and　take　his　opinion　afterwards；　as　to　whether　〃sprinkled〃　is　the
adequate　term；　but　he　has　declined　the　test。　　Again；　he　insists
there　could　not　have　been　more　than　half　a　dozen　people；　at　the
outside；　involved　in　the　catastrophe；　that　forty　is　a　ridiculous
misstatement。　　I　have　offered　to　return　with　him　to　Hanover　and
make　strict　inquiry　into　the　matter；　and　this　offer　he　has　likewise
declined。　　Under　these　circumstances；　I　maintain　that　mine　is　a
true　and　restrained　narrative　of　an　event　that　is；　by　a　certain
number　of　Hanoverians；　remembered　with　bitterness　unto　this　very
day。

We　left　Hanover　that　same　evening；　and　arrived　at　Berlin　in　time
for　supper　and　an　evening　stroll。　　Berlin　is　a　disappointing　town；
its　centre　over…crowded；　its　outlying　parts　lifeless；　its　one
famous　street；　Unter　den　Linden；　an　attempt　to　combine　Oxford
Street　with　the　Champs　Elysee；　singularly　unimposing；　being　much
too　wide　for　its　size；　its　theatres　dainty　and　charming；　where
acting　is　considered　of　more　importance　than　scenery　or　dress；
where　long　runs　are　unknown；　successful　pieces　being　played　again
and　again；　but　never　consecutively；　so　that　for　a　week　running　you
may　go　to　the　same　Berlin　theatre；　and　see　a　fresh　play　every
night；　its　opera　house　unworthy　of　it；　its　two　music　halls；　with　an
unnecessary　suggestion　of　vulgarity　and　commonness　about　them；　ill…
arranged　and　much　too　large　for　comfort。　　In　the　Berlin　cafes　and
restaurants；　the　busy　time　is　from　midnight　on　till　three。　　Yet
most　of　the　people　who　frequent　them　are　up　again　at　seven。　　Either
the　Berliner　has　solved　the　great　problem　of　modern　life；　how　to　do
without　sleep；　or；　with　Carlyle；　he　must　be　looking　forward　to
eternity。

Personally；　I　know　of　no　other　town　where　such　late　hours　are　the
vogue；　except　St。　Petersburg。　　But　your　St。　Petersburger　does　not
get　up　early　in　the　morning。　　At　St。　Petersburg；　the　music　halls；
which　it　is　the　fashionable　thing　to　attend　AFTER　the　theatrea
drive　to　them　taking　half　an　hour　in　a　swift　sleighdo　not
practically　begin　till　twelve。　　Through　the　Neva　at　four　o'clock　in
the　morning　you　have　to　literally　push　your　way；　and　the　favourite
trains　for　travellers　are　those　starting　about　five　o'clock　in　the
morning。　　These　trains　save　the　Russian　the　trouble　of　getting　up
early。　　He　wishes　his　friends　〃Good…night；〃　and　drives　down　to　the
station　comfortably　after　supper；　without　putting　the　house　to　any
inconvenience。

Potsdam；　the　Versailles　to　Berlin；　is　a　beautiful　little　town；
situate　among　lakes　and　woods。　　Here　in　the　shady　ways　of　its
quiet；　far…stretching　park　of　Sans　Souci；　it　is　easy　to　imagine
lean；　snuffy　Frederick　〃bummeling〃　with　shrill　Voltaire。

Acting　on　my　advice；　George　and　Harris　consented　not　to　stay　long
in　Berlin；　but　to　push　on　to　Dresden。　　Most　that　Berlin　has　to　show
can　be　seen　better　elsewhere；　and　we　decided　to　be　content　with　a
drive　through　the　town。　　The　hotel　porter　introduced　us　to　a
droschke　driver；　under　whose　guidance；　so　he　assured　us；　we　should
see　everything　worth　seeing　in　the　shortest　possible　time。　　The　man
himself；　who　called　for　us　at　nine　o'clock　in　the　morning；　was　all
that　could　be　desired。　　He　was　bright；　intelligent；　and　well…
informed；　his　German　was　easy　to　understand；　and　he　knew　a　little
English　with　which　to　eke　it　out　on　occasion。　　With　the　man　himself
there　was　no　fault　to　be　found；　but　his　horse　was　the　most
unsympathetic　brute　I　have　ever　sat　behind。

He　took　a　dislike　to　us　the　moment　he　saw　us。　　I　was　the　first　to
come　out　of　the　hotel。　　He　turned　his　head；　and　looked　me　up　and
down　with　a　cold；　glassy　eye；　and　then　he　looked　across　at　another
horse；　a　friend　of　his　that　was　standing　facing　him。　　I　knew　what
he　said。　　He　had　an　expressive　head；　and　he　made　no　attempt　to
disguise　his　thought。

He　said：

〃Funny　things　one　does　come　across　in　the　summer　time；　don't　one？〃

George　followed　me　out　the　next　moment；　and　stood　behind　me。　　The
horse　again　turned　his　head　and　looked。　　I　have　never　known　a　horse
that　could　twist　himself　as　this　horse　did。　　I　have　seen　a
camelopard　do　trick's　with　his　neck　that　compelled　one's　attention；
but　this　animal　was　more　like　the　thing　one　dreams　of　after　a　dusty
days　at　Ascot；　followed　by　a　dinner　with　six　old　chums。　　If　I　had
seen　his　eyes　looking　at　me　from　between　his　own　hind　legs；　I　doubt
if　I　should　have　been　surprised。　　He　seemed　more　amused　with　George
if　anything；　than　with　myself。　　He　turned　to　his　friend　again。

〃Extraordinary；　isn't　it？〃　he　remarked；　〃I　suppose　there　must　be
some　place　where　they　grow　them〃；　and　then　he　commenced　licking
flies　off　his　own　left　shoulder。　　I　began　to　wonder　whether　he　had
lost　his　mother　when　young；　and　had　been　brought　up　by　a　cat。

George　and　I　climbed　in；　and　sat　waiting　for　Harris。　　He　came　a
moment　later。　　Myself；　I　thought　he　looked　rather　neat。　　He　wore　a
white　flannel　knickerbocker　suit；　which　he　had　had　made　specially
for　bicycling　in　hot　weather；　his　hat　may　have　been　a　trifle　out　of
the　common；　but　it　did　keep　the　sun　off。

The　horse　gave　one　look　at　him；　said　〃Gott　in　Himmel！〃　as　plainly
as　ever　horse　spoke；　and　started　off　down　Friedrich　Strasse　at　a
brisk　walk；　leaving　Harris　and　the　driver　standing　on　the　pavement。
His　owner　called　to　him　to　stop；　but　he　took　no　notice。　　They　ran
after　us；　and　overtook　us　at　the　corner　of　the　Dorotheen　Strasse。
I　could　not　catch　what　the　man　said　to　the　horse；　he　spoke　quickly
and　excitedly；　but　I　gathered　a　few　phrases；　such　as：

〃Got　to　earn　my　living　somehow；　haven't　I？　　Who　asked　for　your
opinion？　　Aye；　little　you　car