three men on the bummel-第20部分
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by the Transvaal question。 My conclusion is that they were actors
out of work； hired to do this thing in the interest of
international peace。 The French Foreign Office； wishful to allay
the anger of the Parisian mob clamouring for war with England；
secured this admirable couple and sent them round the town。 You
cannot be amused at a thing； and at the same time want to kill it。
The French nation saw the English citizen and citizenessno
caricature； but the living realityand their indignation exploded
in laughter。 The success of the stratagem prompted them later on
to offer their services to the German Government； with the
beneficial results that we all know。
Our own Government might learn the lesson。 It might be as well to
keep near Downing Street a few small； fat Frenchmen； to be sent
round the country when occasion called for it； shrugging their
shoulders and eating frog sandwiches； or a file of untidy； lank…
haired Germans might be retained； to walk about； smoking long
pipes； saying 〃So。〃 The public would laugh and exclaim； 〃War with
such？ It would be too absurd。〃 Failing the Government； I
recommend the scheme to the Peace Society。
Our visit to Prague we were compelled to lengthen somewhat。 Prague
is one of the most interesting towns in Europe。 Its stones are
saturated with history and romance； its every suburb must have been
a battlefield。 It is the town that conceived the Reformation and
hatched the Thirty Years' War。 But half Prague's troubles； one
imagines； might have been saved to it； had it possessed windows
less large and temptingly convenient。 The first of these mighty
catastrophes it set rolling by throwing the seven Catholic
councillors from the windows of its Rathhaus on to the pikes of the
Hussites below。 Later； it gave the signal for the second by again
throwing the Imperial councillors from the windows of the old Burg
in the HradschinPrague's second 〃Fenstersturz。〃 Since； other
fateful questions have been decide in Prague； one assumes from
their having been concluded without violence that such must have
been discussed in cellars。 The window； as an argument； one feels；
would always have proved too strong a temptation to any true…born
Praguer。
In the Teynkirche stands the worm…eaten pulpit from which preached
John Huss。 One may hear from the selfsame desk to…day the voice of
a Papist priest； while in far…off Constance a rude block of stone；
half ivy hidden； marks the spot where Huss and Jerome died burning
at the stake。 History is fond of her little ironies。 In this same
Teynkirche lies buried Tycho Brahe； the astronomer； who made the
common mistake of thinking the earth； with its eleven hundred
creeds and one humanity； the centre of the universe； but who
otherwise observed the stars clearly。
Through Prague's dirty； palace…bordered alleys must have pressed
often in hot haste blind Ziska and open…minded Wallensteinthey
have dubbed him 〃The Hero〃 in Prague； and the town is honestly
proud of having owned him for citizen。 In his gloomy palace in the
Waldstein…Platz they show as a sacred spot the cabinet where he
prayed； and seem to have persuaded themselves he really had a soul。
Its steep； winding ways must have been choked a dozen times； now by
Sigismund's flying legions； followed by fierce…killing Tarborites；
and now by pale Protestants pursued by the victorious Catholics of
Maximilian。 Now Saxons； now Bavarians； and now French； now the
saints of Gustavus Adolphus； and now the steel fighting machines of
Frederick the Great； have thundered at its gates and fought upon
its bridges。
The Jews have always been an important feature of Prague。
Occasionally they have assisted the Christians in their favourite
occupation of slaughtering one another； and the great flag
suspended from the vaulting of the Altneuschule testifies to the
courage with which they helped Catholic Ferdinand to resist the
Protestant Swedes。 The Prague Ghetto was one of the first to be
established in Europe； and in the tiny synagogue； still standing；
the Jew of Prague has worshipped for eight hundred years； his women
folk devoutly listening； without； at the ear holes provided for
them in the massive walls。 A Jewish cemetery adjacent；
〃Bethchajim； or the House of Life；〃 seems as though it were
bursting with its dead。 Within its narrow acre it was the law of
centuries that here or nowhere must the bones of Israel rest。 So
the worn and broken tombstones lie piled in close confusion； as
though tossed and tumbled by the struggling host beneath。
The Ghetto walls have long been levelled； but the living Jews of
Prague still cling to their foetid lanes； though these are being
rapidly replaced by fine new streets that promise to eventually
transform this quarter into the handsomest part of the town。
At Dresden they advised us not to talk German in Prague。 For years
racial animosity between the German minority and the Czech majority
has raged throughout Bohemia； and to be mistaken for a German in
certain streets of Prague is inconvenient to a man whose staying
powers in a race are not what once they were。 However； we did talk
German in certain streets in Prague； it was a case of talking
German or nothing。 The Czech dialect is said to be of great
antiquity and of highly scientific cultivation。 Its alphabet
contains forty…two letters； suggestive to a stranger of Chinese。
It is not a language to be picked up in a hurry。 We decided that
on the whole there would be less risk to our constitution in
keeping to German； and as a matter of fact no harm came to us。 The
explanation I can only surmise。 The Praguer is an exceedingly
acute person； some subtle falsity of accent； some slight
grammatical inaccuracy； may have crept into our German； revealing
to him the fact that； in spite of all appearances to the contrary；
we were no true…born Deutscher。 I do not assert this； I put it
forward as a possibility。
To avoid unnecessary danger； however； we did our sight…seeing with
the aid of a guide。 No guide I have ever come across is perfect。
This one had two distinct failings。 His English was decidedly
weak。 Indeed； it was not English at all。 I do not know what you
would call it。 It was not altogether his fault； he had learnt
English from a Scotch lady。 I understand Scotch fairly wellto
keep abreast of modern English literature this is necessary；but
to understand broad Scotch talked with a Sclavonic accent；
occasionally relieved by German modifications； taxes the
intelligence。 For the first hour it was difficult to rid one's
self of the conviction that the man was choking。 Every moment we
expected him to die on our hands。 In the course of the morning we
grew accustomed to him； and rid ourselves of the instinct to throw
him on his back every time he opened his mouth； and tear his
clothes from him。 Later； we came to understand a part of what he
said； and this led to the discovery of his second failing。
It would seem he had lately invented a hair…restorer； which he had
persuaded a local chemist to take up and advertise。 Half his time
he had been pointing out to us； not the beauties of Prague； but the
benefits likely to accrue to the human race from the use of this
concoction； and the conventional agreement with which； under the
impression he was waxing eloquent concerning views and
architecture； we had met his enthusiasm he had attributed to
sympathetic interest in this wretched wash of his。
The result was that now there was no keeping him away from the
subject。 Ruined palaces and crumbling churches he dismissed with
curt reference as mere frivolities； encouraging a morbid taste for
the decadent。 His duty； as he saw it； was not to lead us to dwell
upon the ravages of time； but rather to direct our attention to the
means of repairing them。 What had we to do with broken…headed
heroes； or bald…headed saints？ Our interest should be surely in
the living world； in the maidens with their flowing tresses； or the
flowing tresses they might have； by judicious use of 〃Kophkeo；〃 in
the young men with their fierce moustachesas pictured on the
label。
Unconsciously； in his own mind； he had divided the world into two
sections。 The Past （〃Before Use〃）； a sickly； disagreeable…looking；
uninteresting world。 The Future （〃After Use〃） a fat； jolly； God…
bless…everybody sort of world； and this unfitted him as a guide to
scenes of mediaeval history。
He sent us each a bottle of the stuff to our hotel。 It appeared
that in the early part of our converse with him we had；
unwittingly； clamoured for it。 Personally； I can neither praise it
nor condemn it。 A long series of disappointments has disheartened
me； added to which a permanent atmosphere of paraffin； however
faint； is apt to cause remark； especially in the case of a married
man。 Now； I never try even the sample。
I gave my bottle to George。 He asked for it to send to a man he
knew in Leeds。 I learnt later that Harris had given him his bottle
also； to send to the same man。
A suggestion of onions has clung to this tour since we left Prague。
George has noticed it himself。 He attributes it to the prevalence
of garlic in European cooking。
It was in Prague that Harris and I did a kind and friendly thing to
George。 We had noticed for some time past that George was getting
too fond of Pilsener beer。 This German beer is an insidious drink；
especially in hot weather； but it does not do to imbibe too freely
of it。 It does not get into your head； but after a time it spoils
your waist。 I always say to myself on entering Germany：
〃Now； I will drink no German beer。 The white wine of the country；
with a little soda…water； perhaps occasionally a glass of Ems or
potash。 But beer； neveror； at all events； hardly ever。〃
It is a good and useful resolution； which I recommend to all
travellers。 I only wish I could keep to it myself。 George；
although I urged him； refused to bind himself by any such hard and
fast limit。 He said that in moderation German beer was good。
〃One glass in the morning；〃 said George； 〃one in the evening； or
even two。 That will do no harm to anyone。〃
Maybe he was right。 It was his half…dozen glasses that troubled
