the little white bird-第31部分

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You　see　you　can't　trust　to　your　father's　taking　you　to　the

pantomime；　but　you　can　trust　to　every　one　of　the　poor　frenzied

gentlemen　for　whom　that　lady　has　wept　a　delicious　little　tear　on

her　lovely　little　cambric　handkerchief。　　It　is　pretty　（but

dreadfully　affecting）　to　see　them　on　Boxing　Night　gathering

together　the　babies　of　their　old　loves。　　Some　knock　at　but　one

door　and　bring　a　hansom；　but　others　go　from　street　to　street　in

private　'buses；　and　even　wear　false　noses　to　conceal　the

sufferings　you　inflict　upon　them　as　you　grew　more　and　more　like

your　sweet　cruel　mamma。



So　I　took　David　to　the　pantomime；　and　I　hope　you　follow　my

reasoning；　for　I　don't。　　He　went　with　the　fairest　anticipations；

pausing　on　the　threshold　to　peer　through　the　hole　in　the　little

house　called　〃Pay　Here；〃　which　he　thought　was　Red　Riding　Hood's

residence；　and　asked　politely　whether　he　might　see　her；　but　they

said　she　had　gone　to　the　wood；　and　it　was　quite　true；　for　there

she　was　in　the　wood　gathering　a　stick　for　her　grandmother's　fire。

She　sang　a　beautiful　song　about　the　Boys　and　their　dashing　ways；

which　flattered　David　considerably；　but　she　forgot　to　take　away

the　stick　after　all。　　Other　parts　of　the　play　were　not　so　nice；

but　David　thought　it　all　lovely；　he　really　did。



Yet　he　left　the　place　in　tears。　　All　the　way　home　he　sobbed　in

the　darkest　corner　of　the　growler；　and　if　I　tried　to　comfort　him

he　struck　me。



The　clown　had　done　it；　that　man　of　whom　he　expected　things　so

fair。　　He　had　asked　in　a　loud　voice　of　the　middling　funny

gentleman　（then　in　the　middle　of　a　song）　whether　he　thought　Joey

would　be　long　in　coming；　and　when　at　last　Joey　did　come　he

screamed　out；　〃How　do　you　do；　Joey！〃　and　went　into　convulsions　of

mirth。



Joey　and　his　father　were　shadowing　a　pork…butcher's　shop；

pocketing　the　sausages　for　which　their　family　has　such　a　fatal

weakness；　and　so　when　the　butcher　engaged　Joey　as　his　assistant

there　was　soon　not　a　sausage　left。　　However；　this　did　not　matter；

for　there　was　a　box　rather　like　an　ice…cream　machine；　and　you　put

chunks　of　pork　in　at　one　end　and　turned　a　handle　and　they　came

out　as　sausages　at　the　other　end。　　Joey　quite　enjoyed　doing　this；

and　you　could　see　that　the　sausages　were　excellent　by　the　way　he

licked　his　fingers　after　touching　them；　but　soon　there　were　no

more　pieces　of　pork；　and　just　then　a　dear　little　Irish

terrier…dog　came　trotting　down　the　street；　so　what　did　Joey　do

but　pop　it　into　the　machine　and　it　came　out　at　the　other　end　as

sausages。



It　was　this　callous　act　that　turned　all　David's　mirth　to　woe；　and

drove　us　weeping　to　our　growler。



Heaven　knows　I　have　no　wish　to　defend　this　cruel　deed；　but　as

Joey　told　me　afterward；　it　is　very　difficult　to　say　what　they

will　think　funny　and　what　barbarous。　　I　was　forced　to　admit　to

him　that　David　had　perceived　only　the　joyous　in　the　pokering　of

the　policeman's　legs；　and　had　called　out　heartily　〃Do　it　again！〃

every　time　Joey　knocked　the　pantaloon　down　with　one　kick　and

helped　him　up　with　another。



〃It　hurts　the　poor　chap；〃　I　was　told　by　Joey；　whom　I　was

agreeably　surprised　to　find　by　no　means　wanting　in　the　more

humane　feelings；　〃and　he　wouldn't　stand　it　if　there　wasn't　the

laugh　to　encourage　him。〃



He　maintained　that　the　dog　got　that　laugh　to　encourage　him　also。



However；　he　had　not　got　it　from　David；　whose　mother　and　father

and　nurse　combined　could　not　comfort　him；　though　they　swore　that

the　dog　was　still　alive　and　kicking；　which　might　all　have　been

very　well　had　not　David　seen　the　sausages。　　It　was　to　inquire

whether　anything　could　be　done　to　atone　that　in　considerable

trepidation　I　sent　in　my　card　to　the　clown；　and　the　result　of　our

talk　was　that　he　invited　me　and　David　to　have　tea　with　him　on

Thursday　next　at　his　lodgings。



〃I　sha'n't　laugh；〃　David　said；　nobly　true　to　the　memory　of　the

little　dog；　〃I　sha'n't　laugh　once；〃　and　he　closed　his　jaws　very

tightly　as　we　drew　near　the　house　in　Soho　where　Joey　lodged。　　But

he　also　gripped　my　hand；　like　one　who　knew　that　it　would　be　an

ordeal　not　to　laugh。



The　house　was　rather　like　the　ordinary　kind；　but　there　was　a

convenient　sausage…shop　exactly　opposite　（trust　Joey　for　that）

and　we　saw　a　policeman　in　the　street　looking　the　other　way；　as

they　always　do　look　just　before　you　rub　them。　　A　woman　wearing

the　same　kind　of　clothes　as　people　in　other　houses　wear；　told　us

to　go　up　to　the　second　floor；　and　she　grinned　at　David；　as　if　she

had　heard　about　him；　so　up　we　went；　David　muttering　through　his

clenched　teeth；　〃I　sha'n't　laugh；〃　and　as　soon　as　we　knocked　a

voice　called　out；　〃Here　we　are　again！〃　at　which　a　shudder　passed

through　David　as　if　he　feared　that　he　had　set　himself　an

impossible　task。　　In　we　went；　however；　and　though　the　voice　had

certainly　come　from　this　room　we　found　nobody　there。　　I　looked　in

bewilderment　at　David；　and　he　quickly　put　his　hand　over　his

mouth。



It　was　a　funny　room；　of　course；　but　not　so　funny　as　you　might

expect；　there　were　droll　things　in　it；　but　they　did　nothing

funny；　you　could　see　that　they　were　just　waiting　for　Joey。　　There

were　padded　chairs　with　friendly　looking　rents　down　the　middle　of

them；　and　a　table　and　a　horse…hair　sofa；　and　we　sat　down　very

cautiously　on　the　sofa　but　nothing　happened　to　us。



The　biggest　piece　of　furniture　was　an　enormous　wicker　trunk；　with

a　very　lively　coloured　stocking　dangling　out　at　a　hole　in　it；　and

a　notice　on　the　top　that　Joey　was　the　funniest　man　on　earth。

David　tried　to　pull　the　stocking　out　of　the　hole；　but　it　was　so

long　that　it　never　came　to　an　end；　and　when　it　measured　six　times

the　length　of　the　room　he　had　to　cover　his　mouth　again。



〃I'm　not　laughing；〃　he　said　to　me；　quite　fiercely。　　He　even

managed　not　to　laugh　（though　he　did　gulp）　when　we　discovered　on

the　mantelpiece　a　photograph　of　Joey　in　ordinary　clothes；　the

garments　he　wore　before　he　became　a　clown。　　You　can't　think　how

absurd　he　looked　in　them。　　But　David　didn't　laugh。



Suddenly　Joey　was　standing　beside　us；　it　could　not　have　been　more

sudden　though　he　had　come　from　beneath　the　table；　and　he　was

wearing　his　pantomime　clothes　（which　he　told　us　afterward　were

the　only　clothes　he　had）　and　his　red　and　white　face　was　so　funny

that　David　made　gurgling　sounds；　which　were　his　laugh　trying　to

force　a　passage。



I　introduced　David；　who　offered　his　hand　stiffly；　but　Joey；

instead　of　taking　it；　put　out　his　tongue　and　waggled　it；　and　this

was　so　droll　that　David　had　again　to　save　himself　by　clapping　his

hand　over　his　mouth。　　Joey　thought　he　had　toothache；　so　I

explained　what　it　really　meant；　and　then　Joey　said；　〃Oh；　I　shall

soon　make　him　laugh；〃　whereupon　the　following　conversation　took

place　between　them：



〃No；　you　sha'n't；〃　said　David　doggedly。



〃Yes；　I　shall。〃



〃No；　you　sha'n't　not。〃



〃Yes；　I　shall　so。〃



〃Sha'n't；　sha'n't；　sha'n't。〃



〃Shall；　shall；　shall。〃



〃You　shut　up。〃



〃You're　another。〃



By　this　time　Joey　was　in　a　frightful　way　（because　he　saw　he　was

getting　the　worst　of　it）；　and　he　boasted　that　he　had　David's

laugh　in　his　pocket；　and　David　challenged　him　to　produce　it；　and

Joey　searched　his　pockets　and　brought　out　the　most　unexpected

articles；　including　a　duck　and　a　bunch　of　carrots；　and　you　could

see　by　his　manner　that　the　simple　soul　thought　these　were　things

which　all　boys　carried　loose　in　their　pockets。



I　daresay　David　would　have　had　to　laugh　in　the　end；　had　there　not

been　a　half…gnawed　sausage　in　one　of　the　pockets；　and　the　sight

of　it　reminded　him　so　cruelly　of　the　poor　dog's　fate　that　he

howled；　and　Joey's　heart　was　touched　at　last；　and　he　also　wept；

but　he　wiped　his　eyes　with　the　duck。



It　was　at　this　touching　moment　that　the　pantaloon　hobbled　in；

also　dressed　as　we　had　seen　him　last；　and　carrying；

unfortunately；　a　trayful　of　sausages；　which　at　once　increased　the

general　gloom；　for　he　announced；　in　his　squeaky　voice；　that　they

were　the　very　sausages　that　had　lately　been　the　dog。



Then　Joey　seemed　to　have　a　great　idea；　and　his　excitement　was　so

impressive　that　we　stood　gazing　at　him。　　First；　he　counted　the

sausages；　and　said　that　they　were　two　short；　and　he　found　the

missing　two　up　the　pantaloon's　sleeve。　　Then　he　ran　out　of　the

room　and　came　back　with　the　sausage…machine；　and　what　do　you

think　he　did？　　He　put　all　the　sausages　into　the　end　of　the

machine　that　they　had　issued　from；　and　turned　the　handle

backward；　and　then　out　came　the　dog　at　the　other　end！



Can　you　picture　the　joy　of　David？



He　clasped　the　dear　little　terrier　in　his　arms；　and　then　we

noticed　that　there　was　a　sausage　adhering　to　its　tail。　　The

pantaloon　said　we　must　have　put　in　a　sausage　too　many；　but　Joey

said　the　machine　had　not　worked　quite　smoothly　and　that　he　feared

this　sausage　was　the　dog's　bark；　which　distressed　David；　for　he

saw　how　awkward　it　must　be　to　a　dog　to　have　its　bark　outside；　and

we　were　considering　what　should　be　done　when　the　dog　closed　the

discussion　by　swallowing　the　sausage。



After　that；　David　had　the　most　hilarious　hour　of　his　life；

entering　into　the　childish　pleasures　of　this　family　as　heartily

as　if　he　had　been　brought　up　on　sausages；　and　knocking　the

pantaloon　down　repeatedly。　　You　must　not　think　that　he　did　this

viciously；　he　did　it　to　please　the　old　gentleman；　who　begged　him

to　do　it；　and　always　shook　hands　warmly　and　said　〃Thank　you；〃

when　he　had　done　it。　　They　are　quite　a　simple　people。



Joey　called　David　and　me　〃Sonny；〃　and　asked　David；　who　addressed

him　as　〃Mr。　Clown；〃　to　call　him　Joey。　　He　also　told　us　that　the

pantaloon's　name　was　old　Joey；　and　the　columbine's　Josy；　and　the

harlequin's　Joeykin。



We　were　sorry　to　hear　that　old　Joey　gave　him　a　good　deal　of

trouble。　　This　was　because　his　memory　is　so　bad　that　he　often

forgets　whether　it　is　your　head　or　your　feet　you　should　stand　on；

and　he　usually　begins　the　day　by　standin