the use and need of the life of carrie a. nation-第6部分
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strongest characteristics of my life were awakened in my childhood。 I
would often blush with shame； when committing sins； and I had a great
fear of the judgement day； it would terrify me when hearing of Jesus
coming to the earth。 I would often ask myself： 〃Where can I hide？〃
If the public knew of the smashing God gave me the strength to do in my
heart； they would not wonder at my courage in smashing the murder…
shops of our land。 〃He that ruleth his own spirit； is greater than he that
taketh a city。〃
In 1855； we moved to Missouri； just a year before the trouble broke
out between Kansas and Missouri。 Missouri determined to make Kansas
a slave state； but Kansas said she would not have a slave upon her soil。
Squads of men in Missouri would often go into Kansas and commit depredations。
At one time they burned Lawrence； Kansas； and killed many
people。 This trouble continued to grow worse until it brought on the great
Civil War。
When we moved from Kentucky to Missouri； I took a severe cold on
the boat； which made me an invalid for years。 I was not a truthful child；
neither was I honest。 My mother was very strict with me in many ways
and I would often tell her lies to avoid restraint or punishment。 If there
was anything I wanted about the house； especially something to eat； I
would steal it； if I could。 The colored servants would often ask me to
steal things for them。 My nurse Betsy； would say： 〃Carry get me
a cup of sugar； butter； thread or needles；〃 and many other things。
This would make me sly and dishonest。 I used to go and see my aunts and
stay for months。 I would open their boxes and bureau drawers and steal
ribbons and laces and make doll clothes out of them。 I would steal perfumery
and would run out of the room to prevent them from smelling it。
I am telling this for a purpose。 Many little children may be doing what
I did； not thinking of what a serious thing it is； and I write this to show
them how I was cured of dishonesty： I got a little book at Sunday school
and it told the way people became thieves； by beginning to take little things
naming them； and some of these were the very things I had been taking。
I was greatly shocked to see myself a thief； it had never occurred to
me that I was as bad as that。 I thought one had to steal something of
great value to be a thief。 My repentance was sincere； and I was made honest
by this blessed book； so much so that even after I became grown；
if any article was left in my house I would give it away； unless I could
find the owner。 I was perfectly delighted when I was entirely free。 I asked
for everything I wanted； even a pin。 After that； I could show my doll
clothes； and it was not necessary for me to be sly or tell stories any more。
It was about this time I was converted。 There was a protracted meeting
at a place called Hickman's Mill； Jackson County； Missouri。 The
minister was gray haired and belonged to the Christian or Disciples
church； the one my father belonged to。 I was at this time ten years
old and went with my father to church on Lord's Day morning。 At
the close of the sermon； and during the invitation； my father stepped
to the pulpit and spoke to the minister and he looked over in my
direction。 At this I began to weep bitterly； seemed to be taken up； and sat
down on the front bench。 I could not have told any one what I wept for；
except it was a longing to be better。 I had often thought before this
that I was in danger of going to the 〃Bad place；〃 especially I would be
afraid to think of the time that I should see Jesus come。 I wanted to hide
from Him。 My father had a cousin living at Hickman's Mill； Ben Robertson。
His wife； cousin Jennie； came up to me at the close of the service；
and said： 〃Carry； I believe you know what you are doing。〃 But I did not。
Oh； how I wanted some one to explain to me。 The next day I was taken to
a running stream about two miles away； and； although it was quite cold
and some ice in the water； I felt no fear。 It seemed like a dream。 I know
God will bless the ordinance of baptism； for the little Carry that walked
into the water was different from the one who walked out。 I said no word。
I felt that I could not speak； for fear of disturbing the peace that is
past understanding。 Kind hands wrapped me up and I felt no chill。 I
felt the responsibility of my new relation and tried hard to do right。
A few days after this I was at my aunt Kate Doneghy's。 Uncle
James； or 〃Jim；〃 we called him； her husband； was not a Christian。 He
shocked me one day by saying： 〃So those Campbellites took you to the
creek； and soused you； did they 'Cal'？〃 （A nick name。） What a blow！
My aunt seemed also shocked to have him speak thus to me。 I left
the room and avoided meeting him again。 How he crushed me！ It
had the effect to make me feel like a criminal。
The Protestant Church here makes a fatal error which the Catholics
avoid。 The ministers of the latter have all young converts come so
often to them for instruction。 A child may be born； but not being nursed
and fed； it will die。 God has command them to be fed in the sincere
milk of the word。 My greatest hindrance has been from the lack of
proper Christian teaching。 I love the memory of my father； he used
to have me read the bible to him； and while I did not enjoy it then； it
is a blessed memory。 The family altar is essential to the welfare of
every home； no other form of discipline is equal to it。 The liberty；
chivalry； and life of a nation live or die in proportion as the Altar fires
live or die。
〃And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine
heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt
talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by
the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up。〃
When I was fifteen； the war broke out between the north and the
south。 My father saw that Missouri would be the battle ground and he；
with many others； took their families and negroes and went south； taking
what they could in wagons； for there were no railroads then in that section。
There was quite a train with the droves of cattle； mules and horses。
One wagon had six yoke of oxen to it； had to get into it by a ladder；
the kind that was used to freight across the plains。 The family
went in the family carriage that my father brought from Kentucky。
I remember the time when this carriage was purchased； with the two
dapple gray horses； and silver mounted harness； and when my mother
would drive out she had a driver in broadcloth； with a high silk hat；
and a boy rode on a seat behind； to open the gates。 This was one of
the ways of traveling in Kentucky in those days。 My mother was an
aristocrat in her ideas； but my father was not。 He liked no display。 He
was wise enough to see the sin and folly of it。
｛illust。 caption =
THIS IS THE PICTURE OF MY GIRLHOOD HOME IN CASS COUNTY； MO。
UNDER THE TREES OF THIS DEAR OLD PLACE I LISTENED
TO THE SWEET STORY OF MY LOVE OF A MAN MURDERED BY DRINK。
〃WHEN THOU HAST LOVED ONE LIVING MAN； THEN MAYEST THOU LOOK
UPON THE DEAD。〃｝
After being on the road six weeks； we stopped in Grayson County；
Texas； and bought a farm。 As we started from Missouri one of the
colored women took sick with typhoid fever。 This spread so that ten
of the family； white； and black； were down at one time。 As soon as we
could travel； my father left the colored people south； and took his family
back to Missouri。 That winter south was a great blessing to me； for I
recovered from a disease that had made me an invalid for five years
consumption of the bowels。 Poor health had keep me out of school a
great deal。 My father at one time sent me to Mrs。 Tillery's boarding
school in Independence； Mo。； but I was not in the recitation room more
than half of the time。
After I recovered my health in Texas； it was my delight to ride on
horseback with a girl friend。 The southern boys were preparing to go to
war。 Many a sewing did we attend； where the mothers had spun and
woven the gray cloth that they were now working up so sorrowfully for
their sons to be buried in； far away from home。 They thought their cause
was right。 There were many good masters。 And again there were bad
ones。 Whiskey is always a cruel tyrant and is a worse evil than chattel
slavery。 We were often stopped on our trip by southern troops； in the
Territory and Texas； and then again by northerners。 We passed over the
Pea Ridge battle ground shortly after the battle。 Oh！ the horrors of war。
We often stopped at houses where the wounded were。 We let them have
our pillows and every bit of bedding we could spare。 We went to our
home in Cass County； Missouri。
Shortly after this we； with all families living in that country； were
commanded by an order from Jim Lane； to move into an army post。 This
reached several counties in Missouri。 It was done to depopulate the
country； so that the 〃Bushwhackers〃 would be forced to leave； because of
not being able to get food from the citizens。 This caused much suffering。
But such is war。 We moved to Kansas City。 I was in Independence； Mo。；
during the battle； when Price came through。 I went with a good woman
to the hospital to help with the wounded。 My duty was to comb the
heads of the wounded。 I had a pan of scalding water near and would use
the comb and shake off the animated nature into the hot water。 The southern
and northern wounded were in the same rooms。 In health they were
enemies； but I only saw kindly feeling and sympathy。
Mothers ought to give their daughters the experience of sitting with
the sick； of preparing food for them； of binding up wounds。 It is a pitiful
sight to see a helpless woman in the sick room； ignorant through lack
of experience and education； of ways to be useful at the time and place
where these characteristics of woman adorn her the most of all others。
After we returned from Texas； being the oldest child and the servants all
gone； my mother sick； and the younger children going to
school； I had the house work； cooking and most of the washing to do。 It
was a new experience for me； and it was twice as hard as it ought to have
been。 I exposed my health； would slop up myself when I washed； and
almost ruined my hea
