elizabeth and her german garden-第23部分

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e　door　open　for　her　every　time　she　gets　up　to　leave　the　room；　and　though　she　has　asked　him　to　do　so；　and　told　him　how　much　she　wishes　he　would；　he　still　won't。　She　stayed　once　in　a　house　where　there　was　an　Englishman；　and　his　nimbleness　in　regard　to　doors　and　chairs　so　impressed　her　that　her　husband　has　had　no　peace　since；　and　each　time　she　has　to　go　out　of　a　room　she　is　reminded　of　her　disregarded　wishes；　so　that　a　shut　door　is　to　her　symbolic　of　the　failure　of　her　married　life；　and　the　very　sight　of　one　makes　her　wonder　why　she　was　born；　at　least；　that　is　what　she　told　me　once；　in　a　burst　of　confidence。　He　is　quite　a　nice；　harmless　little　man；　pleasant　to　talk　to；　good…tempered；　and　full　of　fun　；　but　he　thinks　he　is　too　old　to　begin　to　learn　new　and　uncomfortable　ways；　and　he　has　that　horror　of　being　made　better　by　his　wife　that　distinguishes　so　many　righteous　men；　and　is　shared　by　the　Man　of　Wrath；　who　persists　in　holding　his　glass　in　his　left　hand　at　meals；　because　if　he　did　not　（and　I　don't　believe　he　particularly　likes　doing　it）　his　relations　might　say　that　marriage　has　improved　him；　and　thus　drive　the　iron　into　his　soul。　This　habit　occasions　an　almost　daily　argument　between　one　or　other　of　the　babies　and　myself。

〃April；　hold　your　glass　in　your　right　hand。〃

〃But　papa　doesn't。〃

〃When　you　are　as　old　as　papa　you　can　do　as　you　like。〃

Which　was　embellished　only　yesterday　by　Minora　adding　impressively；　〃And　only　think　how　strange　it　would　look　if　everybody　held　their　glasses　so。〃

April　was　greatly　struck　by　the　force　of　this　proposition。


January　28th。It　is　very　cold；fifteen　degrees　of　frost　Reaumur；　but　perfectly　delicious；　still；　bright　weather；　and　one　feels　jolly　and　energetic　and　amiably　disposed　towards　everybody。　The　two　young　ladies　are　still　here；　but　the　air　is　so　buoyant　that　even　they　don't　weigh　on　me　any　longer；　and　besides；　they　have　both　announced　their　approaching　departure；　so　that　after　all　I　shall　get　my　whitewashing　done　in　peace；　and　the　house　will　have　on　its　clean　pinafore　in　time　to　welcome　the　spring。

Minora　has　painted　my　portrait；　and　is　going　to　present　it　as　a　parting　gift　to　the　Man　of　Wrath；　and　the　fact　that　I　let　her　do　it；　and　sat　meekly　times　innumerable；　proves　conclusively；　I　hope；　that　I　am　not　vain。　　When　Irais　first　saw　it　she　laughed　till　she　cried；　and　at　once　commissioned　her　to　paint　hers；　so　that　she　may　take　it　away　with　her　and　give　it　to　her　husband　on　his　birthday；　which　happens　to　be　early　in　February。　　Indeed；　if　it　were　not　for　this　birthday；　I　really　think　she　would　have　forgotten　to　go　at　all；　but　birthdays　are　great　and　solemn　festivals　with　us；　never　allowed　to　slip　by　unnoticed；　and　always　celebrated　in　the　presence　of　a　sympathetic　crowd　of　relations　（gathered　from　far　and　near　to　tell　you　how　well　you　are　wearing；　and　that　nobody　would　ever　dream；　and　that　really　it　is　wonderful）；　who　stand　round　a　sort　of　sacrificial　altar；　on　which　your　years　are　offered　up　as　a　burnt…offering　to　the　gods　in　the　shape　of　lighted　pink　and　white　candles；　stuck　in　a　very　large；　flat；　jammy　cake。　The　cake　with　its　candles　is　the　chief　feature；　and　on　the　table　round　it　lie　the　gifts　each　person　present　is　more　or　less　bound　to　give。　As　my　birthday　falls　in　the　winter　I　get　mittens　as　well　as　blotting…books　and　photograph…frames；　and　if　it　were　in　the　summer　I　should　get　photograph…frames　and　blotting…books　and　no　mittens；　but　whatever　the　present　may　be；　and　by　whomsoever　given；　it　has　to　be　welcomed　with　the　noisiest　gratitude；　and　loudest　exclamations　of　joy；　and　such　words　as　entzuckend；　reizend；　herrlich；　wundervoll；　and　suss　repeated　over　and　over　again；　until　the　unfortunate　Geburtstagskind　feels　indeed　that　another　year　has　gone；　and　that　she　has　grown　older；　and　wiser；　and　more　tired　of　folly　and　of　vain　repetitions。　A　flag　is　hoisted；　and　all　the　morning　the　rites　are　celebrated；　the　cake　eaten；　healths　drunk；　speeches　made；　and　hands　nearly　shaken　off。　The　neighbouring　parsons　drive　up；　and　when　nobody　is　looking　their　wives　count　the　candles　in　the　cake；　the　active　lady　in　the　next　Schlass　spares　time　to　send　a　pot　of　flowers；　and　to　look　up　my　age　in　the　Gotha　Almanach；　a　deputation　comes　from　the　farms　headed　by　the　chief　inspector　in　white　kid　gloves　who　invokes　Heaven's　blessings　on　the　gracious　lady's　head；　and　the　babies　are　enchanted；　and　sit　in　a　corner　trying　on　all　the　mittens。　In　the　evening　there　is　a　dinner　for　the　relations　and　the　chief　local　authorities；　with　more　health…drinking　and　speechifying；　and　the　next　morning；　when　I　come　downstairs　thankful　to　have　done　with　it；　I　am　confronted　by　the　altar　still　in　its　place；　cake　crumbs　and　candle…grease　and　all；　because　any　hasty　removal　of　it　would　imply　a　most　lamentable　want　of　sentiment；　deplorable　in　anybody；　but　scandalous　and　disgusting　in　a　tender　female。　　All　birthdays　are　observed　in　this　fashion；　and　not　a　few　wise　persons　go　for　a　short　trip　just　about　the　time　theirs　is　due；　and　I　think　I　shall　imitate　them　next　year；　only　trips　to　the　country　or　seaside　in　December　are　not　usually　pleasant；　and　if　I　go　to　a　town　there　are　sure　to　be　relations　in　it；　and　then　the　cake　will　spring　up　mushroom…like　from　the　teeming　soil　of　their　affection。

I　hope　it　has　been　made　evident　in　these　pages　how　superior　Irais　and　myself　are　to　the　ordinary　weaknesses　of　mankind；　if　any　further　proof　were　needed；　it　is　furnished　by　the　fact　that　we　both；　in　defiance　of　tradition；　scorn　this　celebration　of　birthday　rites。　Years　ago；　when　first　I　knew　her；　and　long　before　we　were　either　of　us　married；　I　sent　her　a　little　brass　candlestick　on　her　birthday；　and　when　mine　followed　a　few　months　later；　she　sent　me　a　note…book。　No　notes　were　written　in　it；　and　on　her　next　birthday　I　presented　it　to　her；　she　thanked　me　profusely　in　the　customary　manner；　and　when　my　turn　came　I　received　the　brass　candlestick。　　Since　then　we　alternately　enjoy　the　possession　of　each　of　these　articles；　and　the　present　question　is　comfortably　settled　once　and　for　all；　at　a　minimum　of　trouble　and　expense。　We　never　mention　this　little　arrangement　except　at　the　proper　time；　when　we　send　a　letter　of　fervid　thanks。

This　radiant　weather；　when　mere　living　is　a　joy；　and　sitting　still　over　the　fire　out　of　the　question；　has　been　going　on　for　more　than　a　week。　　Sleighing　and　skating　have　been　our　chief　occupation；　especially　skating；　which　is　more　than　usually　fascinating　here；　because　the　place　is　intersected　by　small　canals　communicating　with　a　lake　and　the　river　belonging　to　the　lake；　and　as　everything　is　frozen　black　and　hard；　we　can　skate　for　miles　straight　ahead　without　being　obliged　to　turn　round　and　come　back　again；at　all　times　an　annoying；　and　even　mortifying；　proceeding。　　Irais　skates　beautifully：　modesty　is　the　only　obstacle　to　my　saying　the　same　of　myself；　but　I　may　remark　that　all　Germans　skate　well；　for　the　simple　reason　that　every　year　of　their　lives；　for　three　or　four　months；　they　may　do　it　as　much　as　they　like。　　Minora　was　astonished　and　disconcerted　by　finding　herself　left　behind；　and　arriving　at　the　place　where　tea　meets　us　half　an　hour　after　we　had　finished。　In　some　places　the　banks　of　the　canals　are　so　high　that　only　our　heads　appear　level　with　the　fields；　and　it　is；　as　Minora　noted　in　her　book；　a　curious　sight　to　see　three　female　heads　skimming　along　apparently　by　themselves；　and　enjoying　it　tremendously。　When　the　banks　are　low；　we　appear　to　be　gliding　deliciously　over　the　roughest　ploughed　fields；　with　or　without　legs　according　to　circumstances。　　Before　we　start；　I　fix　on　the　place　where　tea　and　a　sleigh　are　to　meet　us；　and　we　drive　home　again；　because　skating　against　the　wind　is　as　detestable　as　skating　with　it　is　delightful；　and　an　unkind　Nature　arranges　its　blowing　without　the　smallest　regard　for　our　convenience。　　　Yesterday；　by　way　of　a　change；　we　went　for　a　picnic　to　the　shores　of　the　Baltic；　ice…bound　at　this　season；　and　utterly　desolate　at　our　nearest　point。　　I　have　a　weakness　for　picnics；　especially　in　winter；　when　the　mosquitoes　cease　from　troubling　and　the　ant…hills　are　at　rest；　and　of　all　my　many　favourite　picnic　spots　this　one　on　the　Baltic　is　the　loveliest　and　best。　As　it　is　a　three…hours'　drive；　the　Man　of　Wrath　is　loud　in　his　lamentations　when　the　special　sort　of　weather　comes　which　means；　as　experience　has　taught　him；　this　particular　excursion。　There　must　be　deep　snow；　hard　frost；　no　wind；　and　a　cloudless　sky；　and　when；　on　waking　up；　I　see　these　conditions　fulfilled；　then　it　would　need　some　very　potent　reason　to　keep　me　from　having　out　a　sleigh　and　going　off。　　It　is；　I　admit；　a　hard　day　for　the　horses；　but　why　have　horses　if　they　are　not　to　take　you　where　you　want　to　go　to；　and　at　the　time　you　want　to　go？　And　why　should　not　horses　have　hard　days　as　well　as　everybody　else？　The　Man　of　Wrath　loathes　picnics；　and　has　no　eye　for　nature　and　frozen　seas；　and　is　simply　bored　by　a　long　drive　through　a　forest　that　does　not　belong　to　him　；　a　single　turnip　on　his　own　place　is　more　admirable　in　his　eyes　than　the　tallest；　pinkest；　straightest　pine　that　ever　reared　its　snow…crowned　head　against　the　setting　sunlight。　Now　observe　the　superiority　of　woman；　who　sees　that　both　are　good；　and　after　having　gazed　at　the　pine　and　been　made　happy　by　its　beauty；　goes　home　and　placidly　eats　the　turnip。　He　went　once　and　only　once　to　this　particular　place；　and　made　us　feel　so　small　by　his　blast　behaviour　that　I　never　invite　him　now。　It　is　a　beautiful　spot；　endless　forest　stretching　along　the　shore　as　far　as　the　eye　can　reach；　and　after　driving　through　it　for　miles　you　come　suddenly；　at　the　end　of　an　avenue　of　arching　trees；　upon　the　glistening；　oily　sea；　with　the　orange…coloured　sails　of　distant　fishing…smacks　shilling　in　the　sunlight。　Whenever　I　have　been　there　it　has　been　windless　weather；　and　the　silence　so　profound　that　I　could　hear　my　pulses　beating。　The　humming　of　insects　and　the　sudden　scream　of　a　jay　are　the　only　sounds　in　summer；　and　in　winter　the　stillness　is　the　stillness　of　death。

Every　paradise　has　its　serpent；　however；　and　this　one　is　so　infested　by　mosquitoes　during　the　season　when　picnics　seem　most　natural；　that　those　of　my　visitors　who　have　been　taken　there　for　a　treat　have　invariably　lost　their　tempers；　and　made　the　quiet　sho