elizabeth and her german garden-第22部分

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〃If　you　are　at　all　nervous；　I　will　come　and　keep　you　company；〃　she　said；　〃I　don't　mind　at　all；　I　assure　you。〃

But　Irais　is　not　to　be　taken　in　by　such　simple　wiles；　and　has　told　me　she　would　rather　sleep　with　fifty　ghosts　than　with　one　Minora。

Since　Miss　Jones　was　so　unexpectedly　called　away　to　her　parent's　bedside　I　have　seen　a　good　deal　of　the　babies；　and　it　is　so　nice　without　a　governess　that　I　would　put　off　engaging　another　for　a　year　or　two；　if　it　were　not　that　I　should　in　so　doing　come　within　the　reach　of　the　arm　of　the　law；　which　is　what　every　German　spends　his　life　in　trying　to　avoid。　The　April　baby　will　be　six　next　month；　and；　after　her　sixth　birthday　is　passed；　we　are　liable　at　any　moment　to　receive　a　visit　from　a　school　inspector；　who　will　inquire　curiously　into　the　state　of　her　education；　and；　if　it　is　not　up　to　the　required　standard；　all　sorts　of　fearful　things　might　happen　to　the　guilty　parents；　probably　beginning　with　fines；　and　going　on　crescendo　to　dungeons　if；　owing　to　gaps　between　governesses　and　difficulties　in　finding　the　right　one；　we　persisted　in　our　evil　courses。　Shades　of　the　prison…house　begin　to　close　here　upon　the　growing　boy；　and　prisons　compass　the　Teuton　about　on　every　side　all　through　life　to　such　an　extent　that　he　has　to　walk　very　delicately　indeed　if　he　would　stay　outside　them　and　pay　for　their　maintenance。　Cultured　individuals　do　not；　as　a　rule；　neglect　to　teach　their　offspring　to　read；　and　write；　and　say　their　prayers；　and　are　apt　to　resent　the　intrusion　of　an　examining　inspector　into　their　homes；　but　it　does　not　much　matter　after　all；　and　I　daresay　it　is　very　good　for　us　to　be　worried；　indeed；　a　philosopher　of　my　acquaintance　declares　that　people　who　are　not　regularly　and　properly　worried　are　never　any　good　for　anything。　In　the　eye　of　the　law　we　are　all　sinners；　and　every　man　is　held　to　be　guilty　until　he　has　proved　that　he　is　innocent。

Minora　has　seen　so　much　of　the　babies　that；　after　vainly　trying　to　get　out　of　their　way　for　several　days；　she　thought　it　better　to　resign　herself；　and　make　the　best　of　it　by　regarding　them　as　copy；　and　using　them　to　fill　a　chapter　in　her　book。　So　she　took　to　dogging　their　footsteps　wherever　they　went；　attended　their　uprisings　and　their　lyings　down；　engaged　them；　if　she　could；　in　intelligent　conversation；　went　with　them　into　the　garden　to　study　their　ways　when　they　were　sleighing；　drawn　by　a　big　dog；　and　generally　made　their　lives　a　burden　to　them。　This　went　on　for　three　days；　and　then　she　settled　down　to　write　the　result　with　the　Man　of　Wrath's　typewriter；　borrowed　whenever　her　notes　for　any　chapter　have　reached　the　state　of　ripeness　necessary　for　the　process　she　describes　as　〃throwing　into　form。〃　She　writes　everything　with　a　typewriter；　even　her　private　letters。

〃Don't　forget　to　put　in　something　about　a　mother's　knee；〃　said　Irais；　〃you　can't　write　effectively　about　children　without　that。〃　　　〃Oh；　of　course　I　shall　mention　that；〃　replied　Minora。

〃And　pink　toes；〃　I　added。　　〃There　are　always　toes；　and　they　are　never　anything　but　pink。〃

〃I　have　that　somewhere；〃　said　Minora；　turning　over　her　notes。

〃But；　after　all；　babies　are　not　a　German　speciality；〃　said　Irais；　〃and　I　don't　quite　see　why　you　should　bring　them　into　a　book　of　German　travels。　Elizabeth's　babies　have　each　got　the　fashionable　number　of　arms　and　legs；　and　are　exactly　the　same　as　English　ones。〃

〃Oh；　but　they　can't　be　just　the　same；　you　know；〃　said　Minora；　looking　worried。　　〃It　must　make　a　difference　living　here　in　this　place；　and　eating　such　odd　things；　and　never　having　a　doctor；　and　never　being　ill。　Children　who　have　never　had　measles　and　those　things　can't　be　quite　the　same　as　other　children；　it　must　all　be　in　their　systems　and　can't　get　out　for　some　reason　or　other。　And　a　child　brought　up　on　chicken　and　rice…pudding　must　be　different　to　a　child　that　eats　Spickgans　and　liver　sausages。　And　they　are　different；　I　can't　tell　in　what　way；　but　they　certainly　are；　and　I　think　if　I　steadily　describe　them　from　the　materials　I　have　collected　the　last　three　days；　I　may　perhaps　hit　on　the　points　of　difference。〃

〃Why　bother　about　points　of　difference？〃　asked　Irais。　〃I　should　write　some　little　thing；　bringing　in　the　usual　parts　of　the　picture；　such　as　knees　and　toes；　and　make　it　mildly　pathetic。〃

〃But　it　is　by　no　means　an　easy　thing　for　me　to　do；〃　said　Minora　plaintively；　〃I　have　so　little　experience　of　children。〃

〃Then　why　write　it　at　all？〃　asked　that　sensible　person　Elizabeth。

〃I　have　as　little　experience　as　you；〃　said　Irais；　〃because　I　have　no　children；　but　if　you　don't　yearn　after　startling　originality；　nothing　is　easier　than　to　write　bits　about　them。　　I　believe　I　could　do　a　dozen　in　an　hour。〃

She　sat　down　at　the　writing…table；　took　up　an　old　letter；　and　scribbled　for　about　five　minutes。　　〃There；〃　she　said；　throwing　it　to　Minora；　〃you　may　have　itpink　toes　and　all　complete。〃

Minora　put　on　her　eye…glasses　and　read　aloud：

〃When　my　baby　shuts　her　eyes　and　sings　her　hymns　at　bed…time　my　stale　and　battered　soul　is　filled　with　awe。　All　sorts　of　vague　memories　crowd　into　my　mind　memories　of　my　own　mother　and　myselfhow　many　years　ago！　of　the　sweet　helplessness　of　being　gathered　up　half　asleep　in　her　arms；　and　undressed；　and　put　in　my　cot；　without　being　wakened；　of　the　angels　I　believed　in；　of　little　children　coming　straight　from　heaven；　and　still　being　surrounded；　so　long　as　they　were　good；　by　the　shadow　of　white　wings；all　the　dear　poetic　nonsense　learned；　just　as　my　baby　is　learning　it；　at　her　mother's　knee。　She　has　not　an　idea　of　the　beauty　of　the　charming　things　she　is　told；　and　stares　wide…eyed；　with　heavenly　eyes；　while　her　mother　talks　of　the　heaven　she　has　so　lately　come　from；　and　is　relieved　and　comforted　by　the　interrupting　bread　and　milk。　At　two　years　old　she　does　not　understand　angels；　and　does　understand　bread　and　milk；　at　five　she　has　vague　notions　about　them；　and　prefers　bread　and　milk；　at　ten　both　bread　and　milk　and　angels　have　been　left　behind　in　the　nursery；　and　she　has　already　found　out　that　they　are　luxuries　not　necessary　to　her　everyday　life。　　In　later　years　she　may　be　disinclined　to　accept　truths　second…hand；　insist　on　thinking　for　herself；　be　earnest　in　her　desire　to　shake　off　exploded　traditions；　be　untiring　in　her　efforts　to　live　according　to　a　high　moral　standard　and　to　be　strong；　and　pure；　and　good〃

〃Like　tea；〃　explained　Irais。

〃yet　will　she　never；　with　all　her　virtues；　possess　one…thousandth　part　of　the　charm　that　clung　about　her　when　she　sang；　with　quiet　eyelids；　her　first　reluctant　hymns；　kneeling　on　her　mother's　knees。　I　love　to　come　in　at　bed…time　and　sit　in　the　window　in　the　setting　sunshine　watching　the　mysteries　of　her　going　to　bed。　Her　mother　tubs　her；　for　she　is　far　too　precious　to　be　touched　by　any　nurse；　and　then　she　is　rolled　up　in　a　big　bath　towel；　and　only　her　little　pink　toes　peep　out；　and　when　she　is　powdered；　and　combed；　and　tied　up　in　her　night…dress；　and　all　her　curls　are　on　end；　and　her　ears　glowing；　she　is　knelt　down　on　her　mother's　lap；　a　little　bundle　of　fragrant　flesh；　and　her　face　reflects　the　quiet　of　her　mother's　face　as　she　goes　through　her　evening　prayer　for　pity　and　for　peace。〃

〃How　very　curious！〃　said　Minora；　when　she　had　finished。　〃That　is　exactly　what　I　was　going　to　say。〃

〃Oh；　then　I　have　saved　you　the　trouble　of　putting　it　together；　you　can　copy　that　if　you　like。〃　　　〃But　have　you　a　stale　soul；　Miss　Minora？〃　　I　asked。

〃Well；　do　you　know；　I　rather　think　that　is　a　good　touch；〃　she　replied；　〃it　will　make　people　really　think　a　man　wrote　the　book。　You　know　I　am　going　to　take　a　man's　name。〃

〃That　is　precisely　what　I　imagined；〃　said　Irais。　〃You　will　call　yourself　John　Jones；　or　George　Potts；　or　some　such　sternly　commonplace　name；　to　emphasise　your　uncompromising　attitude　towards　all　feminine　weaknesses；　and　no　one　will　be　taken　in。〃

〃I　really　think；　Elizabeth；〃　said　Irais　to　me　later；　when　the　click　of　Minora's　typewriter　was　heard　hesitating　in　the　next　room；　〃that　you　and　I　are　writing　her　book　for　her。　She　takes　down　everything　we　say。　　Why　does　she　copy　all　that　about　the　baby？　　I　wonder　why　mothers'　knees　are　supposed　to　be　touching？　　I　never　learned　anything　at　them；　did　you？　But　then　in　my　case　they　were　only　stepmother's；　and　nobody　ever　sings　their　praises。〃

〃My　mother　was　always　at　parties；〃　I　said；　〃and　the　nurse　made　me　say　my　prayers　in　French。〃

〃And　as　for　tubs　and　powder；〃　went　on　Irais；　〃when　I　was　a　baby　such　things　were　not　the　fashion。　　There　were　never　any　bathrooms；　and　no　tubs；　our　faces　and　hands　were　washed；　and　there　was　a　foot…bath　in　the　room；　and　in　the　summer　we　had　a　bath　and　were　put　to　bed　afterwards　for　fear　we　might　catch　cold。　My　stepmother　didn't　worry　much；　she　used　to　wear　pink　dresses　all　over　lace；　and　the　older　she　got　the　prettier　the　dresses　got。　When　is　she　going？〃

〃Who？　Minora？　　I　haven't　asked　her　that。〃

〃Then　I　will。　　It　is　really　bad　for　her　art　to　be　neglected　like　this。　She　has　been　here　an　unconscionable　time；it　must　be　nearly　three　weeks。〃

〃Yes；　she　came　the　same　day　you　did；〃　I　said　pleasantly。

Irais　was　silent。　　I　hope　she　was　reflecting　that　it　is　not　worse　to　neglect　one's　art　than　one's　husband；　and　her　husband　is　lying　all　this　time　stretched　on　a　bed　of　sickness；　while　she　is　spending　her　days　so　agreeably　with　me。　She　has　a　way　of　forgetting　that　she　has　a　home；　or　any　other　business　in　the　world　than　just　to　stay　on　chatting　with　me；　and　reading；　and　singing；　and　laughing　at　any　one　there　is　to　laugh　at；　and　kissing　the　babies；　and　tilting　with　the　Man　of　Wrath。　Naturally　I　love　hershe　is　so　pretty　that　anybody　with　eyes　in　his　head　must　love　herbut　too　much　of　anything　is　bad；　and　next　month　the　passages　and　offices　are　to　be　whitewashed；　and　people　who　have　ever　whitewashed　their　houses　inside　know　what　nice　places　they　are　to　live　in　while　it　is　being　done；　and　there　will　be　no　dinner　for　Irais；　and　none　of　those　succulent　salads　full　of　caraway　seeds　that　she　so　devotedly　loves。　I　shall　begin　to　lead　her　thoughts　gently　back　to　her　duties　by　inquiring　every　day　anxiously　after　her　husband's　health。　She　is　not　very　fond　of　him；　because　he　does　not　run　and　hold　the　door　open　for　her　every　time　she　gets　up　to　leave　the　room；　and　though　s