elizabeth and her german garden-第5部分

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se　one　idea　of　happiness　is　to　live　in　a　town　where　there　are　others　of　their　sort　with　whom　to　drink　beer　and　dance　on　Sunday　afternoons。　The　passion　for　being　for　ever　with　one's　fellows；　and　the　fear　of　being　left　for　a　few　hours　alone；　is　to　me　wholly　incomprehensible。　I　can　entertain　myself　quite　well　for　weeks　together；　hardly　aware；　except　for　the　pervading　peace；　that　I　have　been　alone　at　all。　Not　but　what　I　like　to　have　people　staying　with　me　for　a　few　days；　or　even　for　a　few　weeks；　should　they　be　as　anspruchslos　as　I　am　myself；　and　content　with　simple　joys；　only；　any　one　who　comes　here　and　would　be　happy　must　have　something　in　him；　if　he　be　a　mere　blank　creature；　empty　of　head　and　heart；　he　will　very　probably　find　it　dull。　I　should　like　my　house　to　be　often　full　if　I　could　find　people　capable　of　enjoying　themselves。　　They　should　be　welcomed　and　sped　with　equal　heartiness；　for　truth　compels　me　to　confess　that；　though　it　pleases　me　to　see　them　come；　it　pleases　me　just　as　much　to　see　them　go。

On　some　very　specially　divine　days；　like　today；　I　have　actually　longed　for　some　one　else　to　be　here　to　enjoy　the　beauty　with　me。　There　has　been　rain　in　the　night；　and　the　whole　garden　seems　to　be　singingnot　the　untiring　birds　only；　but　the　vigorous　plants；　the　happy　grass　and　trees；　the　lilac　bushesoh；　those　lilac　bushes！　They　are　all　out　to…day；　and　the　garden　is　drenched　with　the　scent。　I　have　brought　in　armfuls；　the　picking　is　such　a　delight；　and　every　pot　and　bowl　and　tub　in　the　house　is　filled　with　purple　glory；　and　the　servants　think　there　is　going　to　be　a　party　and　are　extra　nimble；　and　I　go　from　room　to　room　gazing　at　the　sweetness；　and　the　windows　are　all　flung　open　so　as　to　join　the　scent　within　to　the　scent　without；　and　the　servants　gradually　discover　that　there　is　no　party；　and　wonder　why　the　house　should　be　filled　with　flowers　for　one　woman　by　herself；　and　I　long　more　and　more　for　a　kindred　spirit　it　seems　so　greedy　to　have　so　much　loveliness　to　oneselfbut　kindred　spirits　are　so　very；　very　rare；　I　might　almost　as　well　cry　for　the　moon。　It　is　true　that　my　garden　is　full　of　friends；　only　they　aredumb。


June　3rd。This　is　such　an　out…of…the…way　corner　of　the　world　that　it　requires　quite　unusual　energy　to　get　here　at　all；　and　I　am　thus　delivered　from　casual　callers；　while；　on　the　other　hand；　people　I　love；　or　people　who　love　me；　which　is　much　the　same　thing；　are　not　likely　to　be　deterred　from　coming　by　the　roundabout　train　journey　and　the　long　drive　at　the　end。　Not　the　least　of　my　many　blessings　is　that　we　have　only　one　neighbour。　If　you　have　to　have　neighbours　at　all；　it　is　at　least　a　mercy　that　there　should　be　only　one；　for　with　people　dropping　in　at　all　hours　and　wanting　to　talk　to　you；　how　are　you　to　get　on　with　your　life；　I　should　like　to　know；　and　read　your　books；　and　dream　your　dreams　to　your　satisfaction？　Besides；　there　is　always　the　certainty　that　either　you　or　the　dropper…in　will　say　something　that　would　have　been　better　left　unsaid；　and　I　have　a　holy　horror　of　gossip　and　mischief…making。　A　woman's　tongue　is　a　deadly　weapon　and　the　most　difficult　thing　in　the　world　to　keep　in　order；　and　things　slip　off　it　with　a　facility　nothing　short　of　appalling　at　the　very　moment　when　it　ought　to　be　most　quiet。　　In　such　cases　the　only　safe　course　is　to　talk　steadily　about　cooks　and　children；　and　to　pray　that　the　visit　may　not　be　too　prolonged；　for　if　it　is　you　are　lost。　Cooks　I　have　found　to　be　the　best　of　all　subjectsthe　most　phlegmatic　flush　into　life　at　the　mere　word；　and　the　joys　and　sufferings　connected　with　them　are　experiences　common　to　us　all。

Luckily；　our　neighbour　and　his　wife　are　both　busy　and　charming；　with　a　whole　troop　of　flaxenhaired　little　children　to　keep　them　occupied；　besides　the　business　of　their　large　estate。　Our　intercourse　is　arranged　on　lines　of　the　most　beautiful　simplicity。　　I　call　on　her　once　a　year；　and　she　returns　the　call　a　fortnight　later；　they　ask　us　to　dinner　in　the　summer；　and　we　ask　them　to　dinner　in　the　winter。　By　strictly　keeping　to　this；　we　avoid　all　danger　of　that　closer　friendship　which　is　only　another　name　for　frequent　quarrels。　She　is　a　pattern　of　what　a　German　country　lady　should　be；　and　is　not　only　a　pretty　woman　but　an　energetic　and　practical　one；　and　the　combination　is；　to　say　the　least；　effective。　She　is　up　at　daylight　superintending　the　feeding　of　the　stock；　the　butter…making；　the　sending　off　of　the　milk　for　sale；　a　thousand　things　get　done　while　most　people　are　fast　asleep；　and　before　lazy　folk　are　well　at　breakfast　she　is　off　in　her　pony…carriage　to　the　other　farms　on　the　place；　to　rate　the　〃mamsells；〃　as　the　head　women　are　called；　to　poke　into　every　corner；　lift　the　lids　off　the　saucepans；　count　the　new…laid　eggs；　and　box；　if　necessary；　any　careless　dairymaid's　ears。　We　are　allowed　by　law　to　administer　〃slight　corporal　punishment〃　to　our　servants；　it　being　left　entirely　to　individual　taste　to　decide　what　〃slight〃　shall　be；　and　my　neighbour　really　seems　to　enjoy　using　this　privilege；　judging　from　the　way　she　talks　about　it。　I　would　give　much　to　be　able　to　peep　through　a　keyhole　and　see　the　dauntless　little　lady；　terrible　in　her　wrath　and　dignity；　standing　on　tiptoe　to　box　the　ears　of　some　great　strapping　girl　big　enough　to　eat　her。

The　making　of　cheese　and　butter　and　sausages　_excellently_　well　is　a　work　which　requires　brains；　and　is；　to　my　thinking；　a　very　admirable　form　of　activity；　and　entirely　worthy　of　the　attention　of　the　intelligent。　That　my　neighbour　is　intelligent　is　at　once　made　evident　by　the　bright　alertness　of　her　eyeseyes　that　nothing　escapes；　and　that　only　gain　in　prettiness　by　being　used　to　some　good　purpose。　She　is　a　recognised　authority　for　miles　around　on　the　mysteries　of　sausage…making；　the　care　of　calves；　and　the　slaughtering　of　swine；　and　with　all　her　manifold　duties　and　daily　prolonged　absences　from　home；　her　children　are　patterns　of　health　and　neatness；　and　of　what　dear　little　German　children；　with　white　pigtails　and　fearless　eyes　and　thick　legs；　should　be。　　Who　shall　say　that　such　a　life　is　sordid　and　dull　and　unworthy　of　a　high　order　of　intelligence？　　I　protest　that　to　me　it　is　a　beautiful　life；　full　of　wholesome　outdoor　work；　and　with　no　room　for　those　listless　moments　of　depression　and　boredom；　and　of　wondering　what　you　will　do　next；　that　leave　wrinkles　round　a　pretty　woman's　eyes；　and　are　not　unknown　even　to　the　most　brilliant。　But　while　admiring　my　neighbour；　I　don't　think　I　shall　ever　try　to　follow　in　her　steps；　my　talents　not　being　of　the　energetic　and　organising　variety；　but　rather　of　that　order　which　makes　their　owner　almost　lamentably　prone　to　take　up　a　volume　of　poetry　and　wander　out　to　where　the　kingcups　grow；　and；　sitting　on　a　willow　trunk　beside　a　little　stream；　forget　the　very　existence　of　everything　but　green　pastures　and　still　waters；　and　the　glad　blowing　of　the　wind　across　the　joyous　fields。　And　it　would　make　me　perfectly　wretched　to　be　confronted　by　ears　so　refractory　as　to　require　boxing。

Sometimes　callers　from　a　distance　invade　my　solitude；　and　it　is　on　these　occasions　that　I　realise　how　absolutely　alone　each　individual　is；　and　how　far　away　from　his　neighbour；　and　while　they　talk　（generally　about　babies；　past；　present；　and　to　come）；　I　fall　to　wondering　at　the　vast　and　impassable　distance　that　separates　one's　own　soul　from　the　soul　of　the　person　sitting　in　the　next　chair。　I　am　speaking　of　comparative　strangers；　people　who　are　forced　to　stay　a　certain　time　by　the　eccentricities　of　trains；　and　in　whose　presence　you　grope　about　after　common　interests　and　shrink　back　into　your　shell　on　finding　that　you　have　none。　Then　a　frost　slowly　settles　down　on　me　and　I　grow　each　minute　more　benumbed　and　speechless；　and　the　babies　feel　the　frost　in　the　air　and　look　vacant；　and　the　callers　go　through　the　usual　form　of　wondering　who　they　most　take　after；　generally　settling　the　question　by　saying　that　the　May　baby；　who　is　the　beauty；　is　like　her　father；　and　that　the　two　more　or　less　plain　ones　are　the　image　of　me；　and　this　decision；　though　I　know　it　of　old　and　am　sure　it　is　coming；　never　fails　to　depress　me　as　much　as　though　I　heard　it　for　the　first　time。　The　babies　are　very　little　and　inoffensive　and　good；　and　it　is　hard　that　they　should　be　used　as　a　means　of　filling　up　gaps　in　conversation；　and　their　features　pulled　to　pieces　one　by　one；　and　all　their　weak　points　noted　and　criticised；　while　they　stand　smiling　shyly　in　the　operator's　face；　their　very　smile　drawing　forth　comments　on　the　shape　of　their　mouths；　but；　after　all；　it　does　not　occur　very　often；　and　they　are　one　of　those　few　interests　one　has　in　common　with　other　people；　as　everybody　seems　to　have　babies。　A　garden；　I　have　discovered；　is　by　no　means　a　fruitful　topic；　and　it　is　amazing　how　few　persons　really　love　theirsthey　all　pretend　they　do；　but　you　can　hear　by　the　very　tone　of　their　voice　what　a　lukewarm　affection　it　is。　　About　June　their　interest　is　at　its　warmest；　nourished　by　agreeable　supplies　of　strawberries　and　roses；　but　on　reflection　I　don't　know　a　single　person　within　twenty　miles　who　really　cares　for　his　garden；　or　has　discovered　the　treasures　of　happiness　that　are　buried　in　it；　and　are　to　be　found　if　sought　for　diligently；　and　if　needs　be　with　tears。　　　It　is　after　these　rare　calls　that　I　experience　the　only　moments　of　depression　from　which　I　ever　suffer；　and　then　I　am　angry　at　myself；　a　well…nourished　person；　for　allowing　even　a　single　precious　hour　of　life　to　be　spoil：　　by　anything　so　indifferent。　That　is　the　worst　of　being　fed　enough；　and　clothed　enough；　and　warmed　enough；　and　of　having　everything　you　can　reasonably　desire　on　the　least　provocation　you　are　made　uncomfortable　and　unhappy　by　such　abstract　discomforts　as　being　shut　out　from　a　nearer　approach　to　your　neighbour's　soul；　which　is　on　the　face　of　it　foolish；　the　probability　being　that　he　hasn't　got　one。

The　rockets　are　all　out。　　The　gardener；　in　a　fit　of　inspiration；　put　them　right　along　the　very　front　of　two　borders；　and　I　don't　know　what　his　feelings　can　be　now　that　they　are　all　flowering　and　the　plants　behind　are　completely　hidden；　but　I　have　learned　another　lesson；　and　no　future　gardener　shall　be　allowed　to　run　riot　among　my　rockets　in　quite　so　reckless　a　fashion。　They　are　charming　things；　as　delicate　in　colour　as　in