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the complete plays-及24何蛍

弌傍�� the complete plays 忖方�� 耽匈4000忖

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               And attentive to our duty。

          We're smart and sober men��

               And quite devoid of fe´ar��

          In all the Royal N。

               None are so smart as we are。

             

Enter SIR JOSEPH'S FEMALE RELATIVES



��They dance round stage��



  REL。         Gaily tripping��

               Lightly skipping��

             Flock the maidens to the shipping。

  SAILORS。   Flags and guns and pennants dipping��

             All the ladies love the shipping。

  REL。         Sailors sprightly

               Always rightly

             Welcome ladies so politely。

  SAILORS。   Ladies who can smile so brightly��

             Sailors welcome most politely。

  CAPT。 ��from poop��。 Now give three cheers�察�I'll lead the way

  ALL。              Hurrah� �hurrah� �hurrah� �hurray��



Enter SIR JOSEPH with COUSIN HEBE



SONGSIR JOSEPH



                      I am the monarch of the sea��

                      The ruler of the Queen's Navee��

                    Whose praise Great Britain loudly chants。

  COUSIN HEBE。  And we are his sisters�察�and his cousins and his

aunts��

  REL。          And we are his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��

  SIR JOSEPH。         When at anchor here I ride��

                           My bosom swells with pride��

                         And I snap my fingers at a foeman's

taunts��

  COUSIN HEBE。  And so do his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��

  ALL。          And so do his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��

  SIR JOSEPH。         But when the breezes blow��

                      I generally go below��

                    And seek the seclusion that a cabin grants��

  COUSIN HEBE。  And so do his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��

  ALL。          And so do his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��

                    His sisters and his cousins��

                    Whom he reckons up by dozens��

                      And his aunts��



SONG  SIR JOSEPH



          When I was a lad I served a term

          As office boy to an Attorney's firm。

          I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor��

          And I polished up the handle of the big front door。

               I polished up that handle so carefullee

               That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee��



CHORUS。He polished�察�etc。



          As office boy I made such a mark

          That they gave me the post of a junior clerk。

          I served the writs with a smile so bland��

          And I copied all the letters in a big round hand

               I copied all the letters in a hand so free��

               That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee��



CHORUS。´ He copied�察�etc。



          In serving writs I made such a name

          That an articled clerk I soon became��

          I wore clean collars and a brand´new suit

          For the pass examination at the Institute��

               And that pass examination did so well for me��

               That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee��



CHORUS。And that pass examination�察�etc。



          Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip

          That they took me into the partnership。

          And that junior partnership�察�I ween��

          Was the only ship that I ever had seen。

               But that kind of ship so suited me��

               That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee��



CHORUS。´ But that kind�察�etc。



          I grew so rich that I was sent

          By a pocket borough into Parliament。

          I always voted at my party's call��

          And I never thought of thinking for myself at all。

               I thought so little�察�they rewarded me

               By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee��



CHORUS。´ He thought so little�察�etc。



          Now landsmen all�察�whoever you may be��

          If you want to rise to the top of the tree��

          If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool��

          Be careful to be guided by this golden rule

               Stick close to your desks and never go to sea��

               And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee��

   

CHORUS。Stick close�察�etc。



  SIR JOSEPH。 You've a remarkably fine crew�察�Captain Corcoran。

  CAPT。 It is a fine crew�察�Sir Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH。 ��examining a very small midshipman��。 A British

sailor is a

splendid fellow�察�Captain Corcoran。

  CAPT。 A splendid fellow indeed�察�Sir Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH。 I hope you treat your crew kindly�察�Captain

Corcoran。

  CAPT。 Indeed I hope so�察�Sir Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH�察�Never forget that they are the bulwarks of

England's

greatness�察�Captain Corcoran。

  CAPT。 So I have always considered them�察�Sir Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH。 No bullying�察�I trustno strong language of any

kind�察�eh��

  CAPT。 Oh�察�never�察�Sir Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH。 What�察�never��

  CAPT。 Hardly ever�察�Sir Joseph。 They are an excellent crew�察�and

do their

work thoroughly without it。

  SIR JOSEPH。 Don't patronise them�察�sirpray�察�don't patronise

them。

  CAPT。 Certainly not�察�Sir Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH。 That you are their captain is an accident of birth。

I

cannot permit these noble fellows to be patronised because an

accident of

birth has placed you above them and them below you。

  CAPT。 I am the last person to insult a British sailor�察�Sir

Joseph。

  SIR JOSEPH。 You are the last person who did�察�Captain Corcoran。

Desire

that splendid seaman to step forward。

  

                          ��DICK comes forward��

  

  SIR JOSEPH。 No�察�no�察�the other splendid seaman。

  CAPT。 Ralph Rackstraw�察�three paces to the frontmarch��

  SIR JOSEPH ��sternly��。 If what��

  CAPT。 I beg your pardonI don't think I understand you。

  SIR JOSEPH。 If you please。

  CAPT。 Oh�察�yes�察�of course。 If you please。 ��RALPH steps forward。��

  SIR JOSEPH。 You're a remarkably fine fellow。

  RALPH。 Yes�察�your honour。

  SIR JOSEPH。  And a first´rate seaman�察�I'll be bound。

  RALPH。 There's not a smarter topman in the Navy�察�your honour��

though I

say it who shouldn't。

  SIR JOSEPH。 Not at all。 Proper self´respect�察�nothing more。 Can

you

dance a hornpipe��

  RALPH。 No�察�your honour。

  SIR JOSEPH。 That's a pity�此�all sailors should dance hornpipes。

I will

teach you one this evening�察�after dinner。 Now tell medon't be

afraid

how does your captain treat you�察�eh��

  RALPH。 A better captain don't walk the deck�察�your honour。

  ALL。 Aye�察�Aye��

  SIR JOSEPH。 Good。 I like to hear you speak well of your

commanding

officer�察�I daresay he don't deserve it�察�but still it does you

credit。 Can

you sing��

  RALPH。 I can hum a little�察�your honour。

  SIR JOSEPH。 Then hum this at your leisure。 ��Giving him MS。

music。�� It

is a song that I have composed for the use of the Royal Navy。 It

is

designed to encourage independence of thought and action in the

lower

branches of the service�察�and to teach the principle that a

British sailor

is any man's equal�察�excepting mine。 Now�察�Captain Corcoran�察�a word

with

you in your cabin�察�on a tender and sentimental subject。

  CAPT。 Aye�察�aye��

  Sir Joseph ��Crossing�� Boatswain�察�in commemoration of this

joyous

occasion�察�see that extra grog is served out to the ship's company

at

seven bells。

  BOAT。 Beg pardon。 If what�察�your honour��

  CAPT。 If what�拭�I don't think I understand you。

  BOAT。 If you please�察�your honour。

  CAPT。 What��

  SIR JOSEPH。 The gentleman is quite right。 If you please。

  CAPT。 ��stamping his foot impatiently��。 If you please�           �

   

                                                                 

��Exit。

  SIR JOSEPH。  For I hold that on the seas

               The expression�察 �if you please;��

                    A particularly gentlemanly tone implants。

  COUSIN HEBE。 And so do his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��

  ALL。       And so do his sisters�察�and his cousins�察�and his

aunts��



                                         ��Exeunt SIR JOSEPH AND

RELATIVES。



  BOAT。 Ah� �Sir Joseph's true gentleman�察�courteous and

considerate to the

very humblest。

  RALPH。 True�察�Boatswain�察�but we are not the very humblest。 Sir

Joseph

has explained our true position to us。 As he says�察�a British

seaman is

any man's equal excepting his�察�and if Sir Joseph says that�察�is it

not our

duty to believe him��

  ALL。 Well spoke� �well spoke��

  DICK。 You're on a wrong tack�察�and so is he。 He means well�察�but

he don't

know。 When people have to obey other people's orders�察�equality's

out of

the question。

  ALL ��recoiling��。 Horrible� �horrible��

  BOAT。 Dick Deadeye�察�if you go for to infuriate this here ship's

company

too far�察�I won't answer for being able to hold 'em in。 I'm

shocked��

that's what I amshocked��

  RALPH。 Messmates�察�my mind's made up。 I'll speak to the

captain's

daughter�察�and tell her�察�like an honest man�察�of the honest love I

have for

her。

  ALL。 Aye�察�aye��

  RALPH。 Is not my love as good as another's�拭�Is not my heart as

true as

another's�拭�Have I not hands and eyes and ears and limbs like

another��

  ALL。 Aye�察�Aye��

  RALPH。 True�察�I lack birth

  BOAT。 You've a berth on board this very ship。

  RALPH。 Well saidI had forgotten that。 Messmateswhat do you

say�拭�Do

you approve my determination��

  ALL。 We do。

  DICK。 I don t。

  BOAT。 What is to be done with this here hopeless chap�拭�Let us

sing him

the song that Sir Joseph has kindly composed for us。 Perhaps it

will

bring this here miserable creetur to a proper state of mind。

  

         GLEE��RALPH�察�BOATSWAIN�察�BOATSWAIN'S MATE�察�and CHORUS



             A British tar is a soaring soul��

                As free as a mountain bird��

             His energetic fist should be ready to resist

                A dictatorial word。

             His nose should pant and his lip should curl��

             His cheeks should flame and his brow should furl��

             His bosom should heav

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