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the complete plays-及38何蛍

弌傍�� the complete plays 忖方�� 耽匈4000忖

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          Of ballads�察�songs and snatches��

     And dreamy lullaby��



     My catalogue is long��

          Through every passion ranging��

          And to your humours changing

     I tune my supple song��



          Are you in sentimental mood��

               I'll sigh with you��

                    Oh�察�sorrow�察�sorrow��

          On maiden's coldness do you brood��

               I'll do so�察�too

                    Oh�察�sorrow�察�sorrow��

          I'll charm your willing ears

          With songs of lovers' fears��

          While sympathetic tears

               My cheeks bedew

                    Oh�察�sorrow�察�sorrow��



     But if patriotic sentiment is wanted��

          I've patriotic ballads cut and dried��

     For where'er our country's banner may be planted��

          All other local banners are defied��

     Our warriors�察�in serried ranks assembled��

          Never quailor they conceal it if they do

     And I shouldn't be surprised if nations trembled

          Before the mighty troops of Titipu��



CHORUS。   We shouldn't be surprised�察�etc。



NANK。     And if you call for a song of the sea��

               We'll heave the capstan round��

          With a yeo heave ho�察�for the wind is free��

               Her anchor's a´trip and her helm's a´lee��

          Hurrah for the homeward bound��



CHORUS。             Yeo´hoheave ho

               Hurrah for the homeward bound��



          To lay aloft in a howling breeze

               May tickle a landsman's taste��

          But the happiest hour a sailor sees

               Is when he's down

               At an inland town��

          With his Nancy on his knees�察�yeo ho��

               And his arm around her waist��



CHORUS。   Then man the capstanoff we go��

               As the fiddler swings us round��

          With a yeo heave ho��

          And a rum below��

               Hurrah for the homeward bound��



          A wandering minstrel I�察�etc。



                     Enter Pish´Tush。



     PISH。  And what may be your business with Yum´Yum��

     NANK。  I'll tell you。  A year ago I was a member of the

Titipu town band。  It was my duty to take the cap round for

contributions。  While discharging this delicate office�察�I saw

Yum´Yum。  We loved each other at once�察�but she was betrothed to

her guardian Ko´Ko�察�a cheap tailor�察�and I saw that my suit was

hopeless。  Overwhelmed with despair�察�I quitted the town。  Judge

of my delight when I heard�察�a month ago�察�that Ko´Ko had been con´

demned to death for flirting�  �I hurried back at once�察�in the

hope of finding Yum´Yum at liberty to listen to my protestations。

     PISH。  It is true that Ko´Ko was condemned to death for

flirting�察�but he was reprieved at the last moment�察�and raised to

the exalted rank of Lord High Executioner under the following

remarkable circumstances��



                    SONGPISH´TUSH and CHORUS。



     Our great Mikado�察�virtuous man��

     When he to rule our land began��

               Resolved to try

               A plan whereby

          Young men might best be steadied。



     So he decreed�察�in words succinct��

     That all who flirted�察�leered or winked

     ��Unless connubially linked����

          Should forthwith be beheaded。



               And I expect you'll all agree

               That he was right to so decree。

                    And I am right��

                    And you are right��

               And all is right as right can be��



CHORUS。             And you are right。

                    And we are right�察�etc



     This stem decree�察�you'll understand��

     Caused great dismay throughout the land��

               For young and old

               And shy and bold

          Were equally affected。

     The youth who winked a roving eye��

     Or breathed a non´connubial sigh��

     Was thereupon condemned to die

          He usually objected。



               And you'll allow�察�as I expect��

               That he was right to so object。

                    And I am right��

                    And you are right��

               And everything is quite correct��



CHORUS。        And you are right��

               And we are right�察�etc。



     And so we straight let out on bail

     A convict from the county jail��

               Whose head was next

               On some pretext

          Condemned to be mown off��

     And made him Headsman�察�for we said��

     ;Who's next to be decapited

     Cannot cut off another's head

          Until he's cut his own off。;



          And we are right�察�I think you'll say��

          To argue in this kind of way��

               And I am right��

               And you are right��

          And all is righttoo´looral´lay��



CHORUS。        And you are right��

               And we are right�察�etc。



                                                            ��Exeunt

Chorus。



                             Enter Pooh´Bah。



     NANK。  Ko´Ko�察�the cheap tailor�察�Lord High Executioner of

Titipu� �Why�察�that's the highest rank a citizen can attain��

     POOH。  It is。  Our logical Mikado�察�seeing no moral

difference between the dignified judge who condemns a criminal to

die�察�and the industrious mechanic who carries out the sentence��

has rolled the two offices into one�察�and every judge is now his

own executioner。

     NANK。  But how good of you ��for I see that you are a

nobleman of the highest rank�� to condescend to tell all this to

me�察�a mere strolling minstrel��

     POOH。  Don't mention it。  I am�察�in point of fact�察�a

particularly haughty and exclusive person�察�of pre´Adamite

ancestral descent。  You will understand this when I tell you that

I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic

globule。  Consequently�察�my family pride is something

inconceivable。  I can't help it。  I was born sneering。  But I

struggle hard to overcome this defect。  I mortify my pride

continually。  When all the great officers of State resigned in a

body because they were too proud to serve under an ex´tailor�察�did

I not unhesitatingly accept all their posts at once��

     PISH。  And the salaries attached to them�拭 �You did。

     POOH。  It is consequently my degrading duty to serve this

upstart as First Lord of the Treasury�察�Lord Chief Justice��

Commander´in´Chief�察�Lord High Admiral�察�Master of the Buckhounds��

Groom of the Back Stairs�察�Archbishop of Titipu�察�and Lord Mayor��

both acting and elect�察�all rolled into one。  And at a salary�  �A

Pooh´Bah paid for his services�  �I a salaried minion�  �But I do

it�  �It revolts me�察�but I do it��

     NANK。  And it does you credit。

     POOH。  But I don't stop at that。  I go and dine with

middle´class people on reasonable terms。  I dance at cheap

suburban parties for a moderate fee。  I accept refreshment at any

hands�察�however lowly。  I also retail State secrets at a very low

figure。  For instance�察�any further information about Yum´Yum

would come under the head of a State secret。  ��Nanki´Poo takes his

hint�察�and gives him money。��  ��Aside。��  Another insult and�察�I

think�察�a light one��



         SONGPOOH´BAH with NANKI´POO and PISH´TUSH。



               Young man�察�despair��

                    Likewise go to��

               Yum´Yum the fair

                    You must not woo。

                    It will not do��

                    I'm sorry for you��

               You very imperfect ablutioner��

                    This very day

                         From school Yum´Yum

                    Will wend her way��

                         And homeward come��

                         With beat of drum

                         And a rum´tum´tum��

               To wed the Lord High executioner��

                    And the brass will crash��

                         And the trumpets bray��

                    And they'll cut a dash

                         On their wedding day。

               She'll toddle away�察�as all aver��

               With the Lord High Executioner '



NANK。 and POOH。  And the brass will crash�察�etc。



               It's a hopeless case��

                    As you may see��

               And in your place

                    Away I'd flee��

                    But don't blame me

                    I'm sorry to be

               Of your pleasure a diminutioner。

                    They'll vow their pact

                         Extremely soon��

                    In point of fact

                         This afternoon。

                         Her honeymoon

                         With that buffoon

               At seven commences�察�so you shun her��



ALL。                And the brass will crash�察�etc。

                                                           ��Exit

Pish´Tush。



                     RECIT。NANKI´POO and POOH´BAH。



NANK。     And I have journeyed for a month�察�or nearly��

          To learn that Yum´Yum�察�whom I love so dearly��

          This day to Ko´Ko is to be united��

POOH。     The fact appears to be as you've recited��

          But here he comes�察�equipped as suits his station��

          He'll give you any further information。

                                            ��Exeunt Pooh´Bah and

Nanki´Poo。



                         Enter Chorus of Nobles。



          Behold the Lord High Executioner

               A personage of noble rank and title

          A dignified and potent officer��

               Whose functions are particularly vital��

                    Defer�察�defer��

               To the Lord High Executioner��



                      Enter Ko´Ko attended。



                           SOLOKO´KO。



     Taken from the county jail

          By a set of curious chances��

     Liberated then on bail��

          On my own recognizances��

     Wafted by a favouring gale

          As one 

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