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greater。　　However；　I　comforted　myself　against　this　reflection　by

an　assurance　that　they　would　increase　daily：　　on　which　head　my

hopes　were　so　extensive　that　I　may　say　with　Virgil

　　　　　　　'His　　ego　nec　metas　rerum　nec　tempora　pono。'

Indeed　I　am　convinced　that；　had　I　possessed　the　whole　globe　of

earth；　save　one　single　drachma；　which　I　had　been　certain　never　to

be　master　of　I　am　convinced；　I　say；　that　single　drachma　would

have　given　me　more　uneasiness　than　all　the　rest　could　afford　me

pleasure。



〃To　say　the　truth；　between　my　solicitude　in　contriving　schemes　to

procure　money　and　my　extreme　anxiety　in　preserving　it；　I　never

had　one　moment　of　ease　while　awake　nor　of　quiet　when　in　my　sleep。



In　all　the　characters　through　which　I　have　passed；　I　have　never

undergone　half　the　misery　I　suffered　in　this；　and；　indeed；　Minos

seemed　to　be　of　the　same　opinion；　for　while　I　stood　trembling　and

shaking　in　expectation　of　my　sentence　he　bid　me　go　back　about　my

business；　for　that　nobody　was　to　be　dn'd　in　more　worlds　than

one。　　And；　indeed；　I　have　since　learned　that　the　devil　will　not

receive　a　miser。〃





CHAPTER　XII



What　happened　to　Julian　in　the　characters　of　a　general；　an　heir；

a　carpenter；　and　a　beau。



〃The　next　step　I　took　into　the　world　was　at　Apollonia；　in　Thrace；

where　I　was　born　of　a　beautiful　Greek　slave；　who　was　the　mistress

of　Eutyches；　a　great　favorite　of　the　emperor　Zeno。　　That　prince；

at　his　restoration；　gave　me　the　command　of　a　cohort；　I　being　then

but　fifteen　years　of　age；　and　a　little　afterwards；　before　I　had

even　seen　an　army；　preferred　me；　over　the　heads　of　all　the　old

officers；　to　be　a　tribune。



〃As　I　found　an　easy　access　to　the　emperor；　by　means　of　my

father's　intimacy　with　him；　he　being　a　very　good　courtieror；　in

other　words；　a　most　prostitute　flattererso　I　soon　ingratiated

myself　with　Zeno；　and　so　well　imitated　my　father　in　flattering

him；　that　he　would　never　part　with　me　from　about　his　person。　　So

that　the　first　armed　force　I　ever　beheld　was　that　with　which

Marcian　surrounded　the　palace；　where　I　was　then　shut　up　with　the

rest　of　the　court。



〃I　was　afterwards　put　at　the　head　of　a　legion　and　ordered　to

march　into　Syria　with　Theodoric　the　Goth；　that　is；　I　mean　my

legion　was　so　ordered；　for；　as　to　myself；　I　remained　at　court；

with　the　name　and　pay　of　a　general；　without　the　labor　or　the

danger。



　〃As　nothing　could　be　more　gay；　i。　e。；　debauched；　than　Zeno's

court；　so　the　ladies　of　gay　disposition　had　great　sway　in　it；

particularly　one；　whose　name　was　Fausta；　who；　though　not

extremely　handsome；　was　by　her　wit　and　sprightliness　very

agreeable　to　the　emperor。　　With　her　I　lived　in　good

correspondence；　and　we　together　disposed　of　all　kinds　of

commissions　in　the　army；　not　to　those　who　had　most　merit；　but　who

would　purchase　at　the　highest　rate。　　My　levee　was　now

prodigiously　thronged　by　officers　who　returned　from　the

campaigns；　who；　though　they　might　have　been　convinced　by　daily

example　how　ineffectual　a　recommendation　their　services　were；

still　continued　indefatigable　in　attendance；　and　behaved　to　me

with　as　much　observance　and　respect　as　I　should　have　been

entitled　to　for　making　their　fortunes；　while　I　suffered　them　and

their　families　to　starve。　　



〃Several　poets；　likewise；　addressed　verses　to　me；　in　which　they

celebrated　my　achievements；　and　what；　perhaps；　may　seem　strange

to　us　at　present；　I　received　all　this　incense　with　most　greedy

vanity；　without　once　reflecting　that；　as　I　did　not　deserve　these

compliments；　they　should　rather　put　me　in　mind　of　my　defects。



〃My　father　was　now　dead；　and　I　became　so　absolute　in　the

emperor's　grace　that　one　unacquainted　with　courts　would　scarce

believe　the　servility　with　which　all　kinds　of　persons　who　entered

the　walls　of　the　palace　behaved　towards　me。　　A　bow；　a　smile；　a

nod　from　me；　as　I　passed　through　cringing　crowds；　were　esteemed

as　signal　favors；　but　a　gracious　word　made　any　one　happy；　and；

indeed；　had　this　real　benefit　attending　it；　that　it　drew　on　the

person　on　whom　it　was　bestowed　a　very　great　degree　of　respect

from　all　others；　for　these　are　of　current　value　in　courts；　and；

like　notes　in　trading　communities；　are　assignable　from　one　to　the

other。　　The　smile　of　a　court　favorite　immediately　raises　the

person　who　receives　it；　and　gives　a　value　to　his　smile　when

conferred　on　an　inferior：　　thus　the　smile　is　transferred　from　one

to　the　other；　and　the　great　man　at　last　is　the　person　to　discount

it。　　For　instance；　a　very　low　fellow　hath　a　desire　for　a　place。　

To　whom　is　he　to　apply？　　Not　to　the　great　man；　for　to　him　he　hath

no　access。　　He　therefore　applies　to　A；　who　is　the　creature　of　B；

who　is　the　tool　of　C；　who　is　the　flatterer　of　D；　who　is　the

catamite　of　E；　who　is　the　pimp　of　F；　who　is　the　bully　of　G；　who

is　the　buffoon　of　I；　who　is　the　husband　of　K；　who　is　the　whore　of

L；　who　is　the　bastard　of　M；　who　is　the　instrument　of　the　great

man。　　Thus　the　smile　descending　regularly　from　the　great　man　to

A；　is　discounted　back　again；　and　at　last　paid　by　the　great　man。



〃It　is　manifest　that　a　court　would　subsist　as　difficultly　without

this　kind　of　coin　as　a　trading　city　without　paper　credit。　

Indeed；　they　differ　in　this；　that　their　value　is　not　quite　so

certain；　and　a　favorite　may　protest　his　smile　without　the　danger

of　bankruptcy。



〃In　the　midst　of　all　this　glory　the　emperor　died；　and　Anastasius

was　preferred　to　the　crown。　　As　it　was　yet　uncertain　whether　I

should　not　continue　in　favor；　I　was　received　as　usual　at　my

entrance　into　the　palace　to　pay　my　respects　to　the　new　emperor；

but　I　was　no　sooner　rumped　by　him　than　I　received　the　same

compliment　from　all　the　rest；　the　whole　room；　like　a　regiment　of

soldiers；　turning　their　backs　to　me　all　at　once：　　my　smile　now

was　become　of　equal　value　with　the　note　of　a　broken　banker；　and

every　one　was　as　cautious　not　to　receive　it。



〃I　made　as　much　haste　as　possible　from　the　court；　and　shortly

after　from　the　city；　retreating　to　the　place　of　my　nativity；

where　I　spent　the　remainder　of　my　days　in　a　retired　life　in

husbandry；　the　only　amusement　for　which　I　was　qualified；　having

neither　learning　nor　virtue。　　



〃When　I　came　to　the　gate　Minos　again　seemed　at　first　doubtful；

but　at　length　dismissed　me；　saying　though　I　had　been　guilty　of

many　heinous　crimes；　in　as　much　as　I　had；　though　a　general；　never

been　concerned　in　spilling　human　blood；　I　might　return　again　to

earth。



〃I　was　now　again　born　in　Alexandria；　and；　by　great　accident；

entering　into　the　womb　of　my　daughter…in…law；　came　forth　my　own

grandson；　inheriting　that　fortune　which　I　had　before　amassed。



〃Extravagance　was　now　as　notoriously　my　vice　as　avarice　had　been

formerly；　and　I　spent　in　a　very　short　life　what　had　cost　me　the

labor　of　a　very　long　one　to　rake　together。　　Perhaps　you　will

think　my　present　condition　was　more　to　be　envied　than　my　former：

but　upon　my　word　it　was　very　little　so；　for；　by　possessing

everything　almost　before　I　desired　it；　I　could　hardly　ever　say　I

enjoyed　my　wish：　　I　scarce　ever　knew　the　delight　of　satisfying　a

craving　appetite。　　Besides；　as　I　never　once　thought；　my　mind　was

useless　to　me；　and　I　was　an　absolute　stranger　to　all　the

pleasures　arising　from　it。　　Nor；　indeed；　did　my　education　qualify

me　for　any　delicacy　in　other　enjoyments；　so　that　in　the　midst　of

plenty　I　loathed　everything。　　Taste　for　elegance　I　had　none；　and

the　greatest　of　corporeal　blisses　I　felt　no　more　from　than　the

lowest　animal。　　In　a　word；　as　while　a　miser　I　had　plenty　without

daring　to　use　it；　so　now　I　had　it　without　appetite。



〃But　if　I　was　not　very　happy　in　the　height　of　my　enjoyment；　so　I

afterwards　became　perfectly　miserable；　being　soon　overtaken　by

disease；　and　reduced　to　distress；　till　at　length；　with　a　broken

constitution　and　broken　heart；　I　ended　my　wretched　days　in　a

jail：　　nor　can　I　think　the　sentence　of　Minos　too　mild；　who

condemned　me；　after　having　taken　a　large　dose　of　avarice；　to

wander　three　years　on　the　banks　of　Cocytus；　with　the　knowledge　of

having　spent　the　fortune　in　the　person　of　the　grandson　which　I

had　raised　in　that　of　the　grandfather。



〃The　place　of　my　birth；　on　my　return　to　the　world；　was

Constantinople；　where　my　father　was　a　carpenter。　　The　first　thing

I　remember　was；　the　triumph　of　Belisarius；　which　was；　indeed；

most　noble　show；　but　nothing　pleased　me　so　much　as　the　figure　of

Gelimer；　king　of　the　African　Vandals；　who；　being　led　captive　on

this　occasion；　reflecting　with　disdain　on　the　mutation　of　his　own

fortune；　and　on　the　ridiculous　empty　pomp　of　the　conqueror；　cried

out；　VANITY；　VANITY；　ALL　IS　MERE　VANITY。'



〃I　was　bred　up　to　my　father's　trade；　and　you　may　easily　believe

so　low　a　sphere　could　produce　no　adventures　worth　your　notice。　

However；　I　married　a　woman　I　liked；　and　who　proved　a　very

tolerable　wife。　　My　days　were　passed　in　hard　labor；　but　this

procured　me　health；　and　I　enjoyed　a　homely　supper　at　night　with

my　wife　with　more　pleasure　than　I　apprehend　greater　persons　find

at　their　luxurious　meals。　　My　life　had　scarce　any　variety　in　it；

and　at　my　death　I　advanced　to　Minos　with　great　confidence　of

entering　the　gate：　　but　I　was　unhappily　obliged　to　discover　some

frauds　I　had　been　guilty　of　in　the　measure　of　my　work　when　I

worked　by　the　foot；　as　well　as　my　laziness　when　I　was　employed　by

the　day。　　On　which　account；　when　I　attempted　to　pass；　the　angry

judge　laid　hold　on　me　by　the　shoulders；　and　turned　me　back　so

violently；　that；　had　I　had　a　neck　of　flesh　and　bone；　I　believe　he

would　have　broke　it。〃





CHAPTER　XIII　



Julian　passes　into　a　fop。　　



〃My　scene　of　action　was　Rome。　　I　was　born　into　a　noble　family；

and　heir　to　a　considerable　fortune。　　On　which　my　parents；

thinking　I　should　not　want　any　talents；　resolved　very　kindly　and

wisely　to　throw　none　away　upon　me。　　The　only　instructors　of　my

youth　were　therefore　one　Saltator；　who　taught　me　several　motions

f