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a　very　unjust　opinion　of　my　whole　people；　whom　I　fancied　to　be

daily　conspiring　against　me；　and　to　entertain　the　most　disloyal

thoughts；　when；　in　reality　（as　I　have　known　since　my　death）；　they

held　me　in　universal　respect　and　esteem。　　This　is　a　trick；　I

believe；　too　often　played　with　sovereigns；　who；　by　such　means；

are　prevented　from　that　open　intercourse　with　their　subjects

which；　as　it　would　greatly　endear　the　person　of　the　prince　to　the

people；　so　might　it　often　prove　dangerous　to　a　minister　who　was

consulting　his　own　interest　only　at　the　expense　of　both。　　I

believe　I　have　now　recounted　to　you　the　most　material　passages　of

my　life；　for　I　assure　you　there　are　some　incidents　in　the　lives

of　kings　not　extremely　worth　relating。　　Everything　which　passes

in　their　minds　and　families　is　not　attended　with　the　splendor

which　surrounds　their　throneindeed；　there　are　some　hours

wherein　the　naked　king　and　the　naked　cobbler　can　scarce　be

distinguished　from　each　other。



〃Had　it　not　been；　however；　for　my　ingratitude　to　Bernard　del

Carpio；　I　believe　this　would　have　been　my　last　pilgrimage　on

earth；　for；　as　to　the　story　of　St。　James；　I　thought　Minos　would

have　burst　his　sides　at　it；　but　he　was　so　displeased　with　me　on

the　other　account；　that；　with　a　frown；　he　cried　out；　'Get　thee

back　again；　king。'　Nor　would　he　suffer　me　to　say　another　word。〃





CHAPTER　XVIII



Julian　passes　into　a　fool。



〃The　next　visit　I　made　to　the　world　was　performed　in　France；

where　I　was　born　in　the　court　of　Lewis　III；　and　had　afterwards

the　honor　to　be　preferred　to　be　fool　to　the　prince；　who　was

surnamed　Charles　the　Simple。　　But；　in　reality；　I　know　not　whether

I　might　so　properly　be　said　to　have　acted　the　fool　in　his　court

as　to　have　made　fools　of　all　others　in　it。　　Certain　it　is；　I　was

very　far　from　being　what　is　generally　understood　by　that　word；

being　a　most　cunning；　designing；　arch　knave。　　I　knew　very　well

the　folly　of　my　master；　and　of　many　others；　and　how　to　make　my

advantage　of　this　knowledge。



〃I　was　as　dear　to　Charles　the　Simple　as　the　player　Paris　was　to

Domitian；　and；　like　him；　bestowed　all　manner　of　offices　and

honors　on　whom　I　pleased。　　This　drew　me　a　great　number　of

followers　among　the　courtiers；　who　really　mistook　me　for　a　fool；

and　yet　flattered　my　understanding。　　There　was　particularly　in

the　court　a　fellow　who　had　neither　honor；　honesty；　sense；　wit；

courage；　beauty；　nor　indeed　any　one　good　quality；　either　of　mind

or　body；　to　recommend　him；　but　was　at　the　same　time；　perhaps；　as

cunning　a　monster　as　ever　lived。　　This　gentleman　took　it　into　his

head　to　list　under　my　banner；　and　pursued　me　so　very　assiduously

with　flattery；　constantly　reminding　me　of　my　good　sense；　that　I

grew　immoderately　fond　of　him；　for　though　flattery　is　not　most

judiciously　applied　to　qualities　which　the　persons　flattered

possess；　yet　as；　notwithstanding　my　being　well　assured　of　my　own

parts；　I　passed　in　the　whole　court　for　a　fool；　this　flattery　was

a　very　sweet　morsel　to　me。　　I　therefore　got　this　fellow　preferred

to　a　bishopric；　but　I　lost　my　flatterer　by　it；　for　he　never

afterwards　said　a　civil　thing　to　me。　　



〃I　never　balked　my　imagination　for　the　grossness　of　the

reflection　on　the　character　of　the　greatest　noblenay；　even　the

king　himself；　of　which　I　will　give　you　a　very　bold　instance。　　One

day　his　simple　majesty　told　me　he　believed　I　had　so　much　power

that　his　people　looked　on　me　as　the　king；　and　himself　as　my　fool。



At　this　I　pretended　to　be　angry；　as　with　an　affront。　　'Why；　how

now？'　says　the　king；　'are　you　ashamed　of　being　a　king？'　'No；

sir；'　says　I；　'but　I　am　devilishly　ashamed　of　my　fool。'



〃Herbert；　earl　of　Vermandois；　had　by　my　means　been　restored　to

the　favor　of　the　Simple　（for　so　I　used　always　to　call　Charles）。　

He　afterwards　prevailed　with　the　king　to　take　the　city　of　Arras

from　earl　Baldwin；　by　which　means；　Herbert；　in　exchange　for　this

city；　had　Peronne　restored　to　him　by　count　Altmar。　　Baldwin　came

to　court　in　order　to　procure　the　restoration　of　his　city；　but；

either　through　pride　or　ignorance；　neglected　to　apply　to　me。　　As

I　met　him　at　court　during　his　solicitation；　I　told　him　he　did　not

apply　the　right　way；　he　answered　roughly　he　should　not　ask　a

fool's　advice。　　I　replied　I　did　not　wonder　at　his　prejudice；

since　he　had　miscarried　already　by　following　a　fool's　advice；　but

I　told　him　there　were　fools　who　had　more　interest　than　that　he

had　brought　with　him　to　court。　　He　answered　me　surlily　he　had　no

fool　with　him；　for　that　he　traveled　alone。　　'Ay；　my　lord；'　says

I；　'I　often　travel　alone；　and　yet　they　will　have　it　I　always

carry　a　fool　with　me。'　　This　raised　a　laugh　among　the

by…standers；　on　which　he　gave　me　a　blow。　　I　immediately

complained　of　this　　usage　to　the　Simple；　who　dismissed　the　earl

from　court　with　very　hard　words；　instead　of　granting　him　the

favor　he　solicited。



〃I　give　you　these　rather　as　a　specimen　of　my　interest　and

impudence　than　of　my　witindeed；　my　jests　were　commonly　more

admired　than　they　ought　to　be；　for　perhaps　I　was　not　in　reality

much　more　a　wit　than　a　fool。　　But；　with　the　latitude　of　unbounded

scurrility；　it　is　easy　enough　to　attain　the　character　of　wit；

especially　in　a　court；　where；　as　all　persons　hate　and　envy　one

another　heartily；　and　are　at　the　same　time　obliged　by　the

constrained　behavior　of　civility　to　profess　the　greatest　liking；

so　it　is；　and　must　be；　wonderfully　pleasant　to　them　to　see　the

follies　of　their　acquaintance　exposed　by　a　third　person。　

Besides；　the　opinion　of　the　court　is　as　uniform　as　the　fashion；

and　is　always　guided　by　the　will　of　the　prince　or　of　the

favorite。　　I　doubt　not　that　Caligula's　horse　was　universally　held

in　his　court　to　be　a　good　and　able　consul。　　In　the　same　manner

was　I　universally　acknowledged　to　be　the　wittiest　fool　in　the

world。　　Every　word　I　said　raised　laughter；　and　was　held　to　be　a

jest；　especially　by　the　ladies；　who　sometimes　laughed　before　I

had　discovered　my　sentiment；　and　often　repeated　that　as　a　jest

which　I　did　not　even　intend　as　one。



〃I　was　as　severe　on　the　ladies　as　on　the　men；　and　with　the　same

impunity；　but　this　at　last　cost　me　dear：　　for　once　having　joked

on　the　beauty　of　a　lady　whose　name　was　Adelaide；　a　favorite　of

the　Simple's；　she　pretended　to　smile　and　be　pleased　at　my　wit

with　the　rest　of　the　company；　but　in　reality　she　highly　resented

it；　and　endeavored　to　undermine　me　with　the　king。　　In　which　she

so　greatly　succeeded　（for　what　cannot　a　favorite　woman　do　with

one　who　deserves　the　surname　of　Simple？）　that　the　king　grew　every

day　more　reserved　to　me；　and　when　I　attempted　any　freedom　gave　me

such　marks　of　his　displeasure；　that　the　courtiers　who　have　all

hawks'　eyes　at　a　slight　from　the　sovereign；　soon　discerned　it：

and　indeed；　had　I　been　blind　enough　not　to　have　discovered　that　I

had　lost　ground　in　the　Simple's　favor　by　his　own　change　in　his

carriage　towards　me；　I　must　have　found　it；　nay　even　felt　it；　in

the　behavior　of　the　courtiers：　　for；　as　my　company　was　two　days

before　solicited　with　the　utmost　eagerness；　it　was　now　rejected

with　as　much　scorn。　　I　was　now　the　jest　of　the　ushers　and　pages；

and　an　officer　of　the　guards；　on　whom　I　was　a　little　jocose；　gave

me　a　box　on　the　ear；　bidding　me　make　free　with　my　equals。　　This

very　fellow　had　been　my　butt　for　many　years；　without　daring　to

lift　his　hand　against　me。



〃But　though　I　visibly　perceived　the　alteration　in　the　Simple；　I

was　utterly　unable　to　make　any　guess　at　the　occasion。　　I　had　not

the　least　suspicion　of　Adelaide；　for；　besides　her　being　a　very

good…humored　woman；　I　had　often　made　severe　jests　on　her

reputation；　which　I　had　all　the　reason　imaginable　to　believe　had

given　her　no　offense。　　But　I　soon　perceived　that　a　woman　will

bear　the　most　bitter　censures　on　her　morals　easier　than　the

smallest　reflection　on　her　beauty；　for　she　now　declared　publicly；

that　I　ought　to　be　dismissed　from　court；　as　the　stupidest　of

fools；　and　one　in　whom　there　was　no　diversion；　and　that　she

wondered　how　any　person　could　have　so　little　taste　as　to　imagine

I　had　any　wit。　　This　speech　was　echoed　through　the　drawing…room；

and　agreed　to　by　all　present。　　Every　one　now　put　on　an　unusual

gravity　on　their　countenance　whenever　I　spoke；　and　it　was　as　much

out　of　my　power　to　raise　a　laugh　as　formerly　it　had　been　for　me

to　open　my　mouth　without　one。



〃While　my　affairs　were　in　this　posture　I　went　one　day　into　the

circle　without　my　fool's　dress。　　The　Simple；　who　would　still

speak　to　me；　cried　out；　'So；　fool；　what's　the　matter　now？'　

'Sir；'　answered　I；　'fools　are　like　to　be　so　common　a　commodity　at

court；　that　I　am　weary　of　my　coat。'　　'How　dost　thou　mean？'

answered　the　Simple；　'what　can　make　them　commoner　now　than

usual？''O；　sir；'　said　I；　'there　are　ladies　here　make　your

majesty　a　fool　every　day　of　their　lives。'　　The　Simple　took　no

notice　of　my　jest；　and　several　present　said　my　bones　ought　to　be

broke　for　my　impudence；　but　it　pleased　the　queen；　who；　knowing

Adelaide；　whom　she　hated；　to　be　the　cause　of　my　disgrace；

obtained　me　of　the　king；　and　took　me　into　her　service；　so　that　I

was　henceforth　called　the　queen's　fool；　and　in　her　court　received

the　same　honor；　and　had　as　much　wit；　as　I　had　formerly　had　in　the

king's。　　But　as　the　queen　had　really　no　power　unless　over　her　own

domestics；　I　was　not　treated　in　general　with　that　complacence；

nor　did　I　receive　those　bribes　and　presents；　which　had　once

fallen　to　my　share。　　



〃Nor　did　this　confined　respect　continue　long：　　for　the　queen；　who

had　in　fact　no　taste　for　humor；　soon　grew　sick　of　my　foolery；

and；　forgetting　the　cause　for　which　she　had　taken　me；　neglected

me　so　much；　that　her　court　grew　intolerable　to　my　temper；　and　I

broke　my　heart　and　died。　　



〃Minos　laughed　heartily　at　several　things　in　my　story；　and

then；　telling　me　no　one　played　the　fool　in　Elysium；　bid　me　go

back　again。〃





CHAPTER　XIX



Julian　appears　in