initials only-第32部分

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mall　manufacturing　town；　seldom　seen；　possibly；　in　any　town。　　He　had　glanced　up　at　the　window　as　he　went　by；　in　a　manner　too　marked　not　to　excite　her　curiosity。　Would　he　look　up　again　when　he　came　back？　　She　was　waiting　there　to　see。　　Why；　she　did　not　know。　　She　was　not　used　to　indulging　in　petty　suppositions　of　this　kind；　her　life　was　too　busy；　her　anxieties　too　keen。　　The　great　dread　looming　ever　before　her；　…　the　dread　of　that　hour　when　she　must　speak；　…　left　her　very　little　heart　for　anything　dissociated　with　this　coming　event。　　For　a　girl　of　seventeen　she　was　unusually　thoughtful。　　Life　had　been　hard　in　this　little　cottage　since　her　mother　died；　or　rather　she　had　felt　its　responsibilities　keenly。

Life　itself　could　not　be　hard　where　Oswald　Brotherson　lived；　neither　to　man；　nor　woman。　　The　cheer　of　some　natures　possesses　a　divine　faculty。　　If　it　can　help　no　other　way；　it　does　so　by　the　aid　of　its　own　light。　　Such　was　the　character　of　this　man's　temperament。　　The　cottage　was　a　happy　place；　only　…　she　never　fathomed　the　depths　of　that　only。　　If　in　these　days　she　essayed　at　times　to　do　so；　she　gave　full　credit　to　the　Dread　which　rose　ever　before　her　…　rose　like　a　ghost！　　She；　Doris；　led　by　inscrutable　Fate；　was　waiting　to　hurt　him　who　hurt　nobody；　whose　mere　presence　was　a　blessing。

But　her　interest　had　been　caught　to…day；　caught　by　this　stranger；　and　when　during　her　eager　watch　the　small　messenger　from　the　Works　came　to　the　door　with　the　usual　daily　supply　of　books　and　magazines　for　the　patient；　she　stepped　out　on　the　porch　to　speak　to　him　and　to　point　out　the　gentleman　who　was　now　rapidly　returning　from　his　stroll　up　the　road。

〃Who　is　that；　Johnny？　she　asked。　　〃You　know　everybody　who　comes　to　town。　　What　is　the　name　of　the　gentleman　you　see　coming？〃

The　boy　looked；　searched　his　memory；　not　without　some　show　of　misgiving。

〃A　queer　name；　he　admitted　at　last。　　〃I　never　heard　the　likes　of　it　here　before。　　Shally　something。　Shally　…　Shally　…　〃

〃Challoner？〃

〃Yes；　that's　it。　　How　could　you　guess？　　He's　from　New　York。　　Nobody　knows　why　he's　here。　　Don't　seem　to　have　no　business。〃

〃Well；　never　mind。　　Run　on；　Johnny。　　And　don't　forget　to　come　earlier　to…morrow；　Mr。　Brotherson　gets　tired　waiting。〃

〃Does　he？　　I'll　come　quick　then；　quick　as　I　can　run。〃　　And　he　sped　off　at　a　pace　which　promised　well　for　the　morrow。

Challoner！　　There　was　but　one　Challoner　in　the　world　for　Doris　Scott；　…　Edith's　father。　　Was　this　he？　　It　must　be；　or　why　this　haunting　sense　of　something　half　remembered　as　she　caught　a　glimpse　of　his　face。　　Edith's　father！　　and　he　was　approaching；　approaching　rapidly；　on　his　way　back　to　town。　　Would　he　stop　this　time？　　As　the　possibility　struck　her；　she　trembled　and　drew　back；　entering　the　house；　but　pausing　in　the　hall　with　her　ear　turned　to　the　road。　She　had　not　closed　the　door；　something　within　…　a　hope　or　a　dread　　…　had　prevented　that。　　Would　he　take　it　as　an　invitation　to　come　in？　　No；　no；　she　was　not　ready　for　such　an　encounter　yet。　　He　might　speak　Edith's　name；　Oswald　might　hear　and　…　with　a　gasp　she　recognised　the　closeness　of　his　step；　heard　it　lag；　almost　halt　just　where　the　path　to　the　house　ran　into　the　roadside。　　But　it　passed　on。　　He　was　not　going　to　force　an　interview　yet。　　She　could　hear　him　retreating　further　and　further　away。　　The　event　was　not　for　this　day；　thank　God！　　She　would　have　one　night　at　least　in　which　to　prepare　herself。

With　a　sense　of　relief　so　great　that　she　realised；　for　one　shocked　moment；　the　full　extent　of　her　fears；　she　hastened　back　into　the　sitting…room；　with　her　collection　of　books　and　pamphlets。　　A　low　voice　greeted　her。　　It　came　from　the　adjoining　room。

〃Doris；　come　here；　sweet　child。　　I　want　you。〃

How　she　would　have　bounded　joyously　at　the　summons；　had　not　that　Dread　raised　its　bony　finger　in　every　call　from　that　dearly　loved　voice。　　As　it　was；　her　feet　moved　slowly；　lingering　at　the　sound。　But　they　carried　her　to　his　side　at　last；　and　once　there；　she　smiled。

〃See　what　an　armful；〃　she　cried　in　joyous　greeting；　as　she　held　out　the　bundle　she　had　brought。　　〃You　will　be　amused　all　day。　　Only；　do　not　tire　yourself。〃

〃I　do　not　want　the　papers；　Doris；　not　yet。　　There's　something　else　which　must　come　first。　　Doris；　I　have　decided　to　let　you　write　to　her。　　I'm　so　much　better　now；　she　will　not　feel　alarmed。　　I　must　　…　must　get　a　word　from　her。　　I'm　starving　for　it。　　I　lie　here　and　can　think　of　nothing　else。　　A　message　…　one　little　message　of　six　short　words　would　set　me　on　my　feet　again。　　So　get　your　paper　and　pen；　dear　child；　and　write　her　one　of　your　prettiest　letters。〃

Had　he　loved　her；　he　would　have　perceived　the　chill　which　shook　her　whole　body；　as　he　spoke。　　But　his　first　thought；　his　penetrating　thought；　was　not　for　her　and　he　saw　only　the　answering　glance；　the　patient　smile。　　She　had　not　expected　him　to　see　more。　　She　knew　that　she　was　quite　safe　from　the　divining　look；　otherwise；　he　would　have　known　her　secret　long　ago。

〃I'm　ready；〃　said　she。　　But　she　did　not　lay　down　her　bundle。　　She　was　not　ready　for　her　task；　poor　child。　　She　quailed　before　it。　　She　quailed　so　much　that　she　feared　to　stir　lest　he　should　see　that　she　had　no　command　over　her　movements。

The　man　who　watched　without　seeing　wondered　that　she　stood　so　still　and　spoke　so　briefly。　　But　only　for　a　moment。　　He　thought　he　understood　her　hesitation；　and　a　look　of　great　earnestness　replaced　his　former　one　of　grave　decision。

〃I　know　that　in　doing　this　I　am　going　beyond　my　sacred　compact　with　Miss　Challoner；〃　he　said。　　〃I　never　thought　of　illness；　…　at　least；　of　illness　on　my　part。　　I　never　dreamt　that　I；　always　so　well；　always　so　full　of　life；　could　know　such　feebleness　as　this；　feebleness　which　is　all　of　the　body；　Doris；　leaving　the　mind　free　to　dream　and　long。　Talk　of　her；　child。　　Tell　me　all　over　again　just　how　she　looked　and　spoke　that　day　you　saw　her　in　New　York。〃

〃Would　it　not　be　better　for　me　to　write　my　letter　first？　　Papa　will　be　coming　soon　and　Truda　can　never　cook　your　bird　as　you　like　it。〃

Surprised　now　by　something　not　quite　natural　in　her　manner；　he　caught　at　her　hand　and　held　her　as　she　was　moving　away。

〃You　are　tired；〃　said　he。　　〃I've　wearied　you　with　my　commission　and　complaints。　　Forgive　me；　dear　child；　and　…〃

〃You　are　mistaken；〃　she　interrupted　softly。　　〃I　am　not　tired；　I　only　wished　to　do　the　important　thing　first。　　Shall　I　get　my　desk？　　Do　you　really　wish　me　to　write？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　he；　softly　dropping　her　hand。　　〃I　wish　you　to　write。　　It　will　ensure　me　good　sleep；　and　sleep　will　make　me　strong。　　A　few　words；　Doris；　just　a　few　words。〃

She　nodded；　turning　quickly　away　to　hide　her　tears。　　His　smile　had　gone　to　her　very　soul。　　It　was　always　a　beautiful　one；　his　chief　personal　attraction；　but　at　this　moment　it　seemed　to　concentrate　within　it　the　unspoken　fervours　and　the　boundless　expectations　of　a　great　love；　and　she　who　was　the　aim　and　cause　of　all　this　sweetness　lay　in　unresponsive　silence　in　a　distant　tomb！

But　Doris'　own　smile　was　not　lacking　in　encouragement　and　beauty　when　she　came　back　a　few　minutes　later　and　sat　down　by　his　side　to　write。　　His　melted　before　it；　leaving　his　eyes　very　earnest　as　he　watched　her　bending　figure　and　the　hard…worked　little　hand　at　its　unaccustomed　task。

〃I　must　give　her　daily　exercises；〃　he　decided　within　himself。　　〃That　look　of　pain　shows　how　difficult　this　work　is　for　her。　　It　must　be　made　easy　at　any　cost　to　my　time。　　Such　beauty　calls　for　accomplishment。　　I　must　not　neglect　so　plain　a　duty。〃

Meantime；　she　was　struggling　to　find　words　in　face　of　that　great　Dread。　　She　had　written　Dear　Miss　Challoner　and　was　staring　in　horror　at　the　soulless　words。　　Only　her　sense　of　duty　upheld　her。　Gladly　would　she　have　torn　the　sheet　in　two　and　rushed　away。　　How　could　she　add　sentences　to　this　hollow　phrase；　the　mere　employment　of　which　seemed　a　sacrilege。　　Dear　Miss　Challoner。　　Oh；　she　was　dear；　but　…

Unconsciously　the　young　head　drooped；　and　the　pen　slid　from　her　hand。

〃I　cannot；〃　she　murmured；　〃I　cannot　think　what　to　say。〃

〃Shall　I　help　you？〃　came　softly　from　the　bed。　　〃I'll　try　and　not　forget　that　it　is　Doris　writing。〃

〃If　you　will　be　so　good；〃　she　answered；　with　renewed　courage。　〃I　can　put　the　words　down　if　you　will　only　find　them　for　me。〃

〃Write　then。　　'Dear　Miss　Challoner！〃

〃I　have　already　written　that。〃

〃Why　do　you　shudder？〃

〃I'm　cold。　　I've　been　cold　all　day。　　But　never　mind　that；　Mr。　Brotherson。　　Tell　me　how　to　begin　my　letter。〃

〃　This　way。　　'I've　not　been　able　to　answer　your　kind　letter；　because　I　have　had　to　play　nurse　for　some　three　or　four　weeks　to　a　very　fretful　and　exacting　patient。'　Have　you　written　that？〃

〃　No；〃　said　Doris；　bending　over　her　desk　till　her　curls　fell　in　a　tangle　over　her　white　cheeks。　　〃　I　do　not　like　to；〃　she　protested　at　last；　with　an　attempt　at　naivete　which　seemed　real　enough　to　him。

〃　Well；　leave　out　the　fretful　if　you　must；　but　keep　in　the　exacting。　I　have　been　exacting；　you　know。〃

Silence；　broken　only　by　the　scratching　of　the　stubborn；　illy…directed　pen。

〃It's　down；〃　she　whispered。　　She　said；　afterward；　that　it　was　like　writing　with　a　ghost　looking　over　one's　shoulder。

〃Then　add；　'Mr。　Brotherson　has　had　a　slight　attack　of　fever；　but　he　is　getting　well　fast；　and　will　soon　…；　　Do　I　run　on　too　quickly？〃

〃No；　no；　I　can　follow。〃

〃But　not　without　losing　breath；　eh；　Doris？〃

As　he　laughed；　she　smiled。　　There　was　a　heroism　in　that　smile；　Oswald　Brotherson；　of　which　you　knew　nothing。

〃You　might　speak　a　little　more　slowly；〃　she　admitted。

Quietly　he　repeated　the　last　phrase。　　〃'But　he　is　getting　well　fast　and　will　soon　be　ready　to　take　up　the　management　of　the　Works　which　was　given　him　just　before　he　was　taken　ill。'　　That　will　show　her　that　I　am　working　up；〃　he　brightly　remarked　as　Doris　carefully　penned　the　last　word。　　〃Of　myself　you　need　say　nothing　more；　unless　　…〃　he　paused　and　his　face　took　on　a　wistful　look　which　Doris　dared　not　meet；　〃unless　…　but　no；　no；　she　must　think　it　has　been　only　a　passing　indisposition。　　If　she　knew　I　had　been　really　ill；　she　would　suffer；　and　perhaps　act　imprudently　or　suffer　and　not　dare　to　act　at　all；　which　might　be　sadder　for　her　still。　　Leave　it　where　it　is　and　begin　about　yourself。　　Write　a　good　deal　ab