the life of john bunyan-第5部分

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renounced；　and　finally。　　The　power　of　Bunyan's　indomitable　will　was

bracing　itself　for　severe　trials　yet　to　come。



Meanwhile　Bunyan's　neighbours　regarded　with　amazement　the　changed

life　of　the　profane　young　tinker。　　〃And　truly；〃　he　honestly

confesses；　〃so　they　well　might　for　this　my　conversion　was　as　great

as　for　Tom　of　Bedlam　to　become　a　sober　man。〃　　Bunyan's　reformation

was　soon　the　town's　talk；　he　had　〃become　godly；〃　〃become　a　right

honest　man。〃　　These　commendations　flattered　is　vanity；　and　he　laid

himself　out　for　them。　　He　was　then　but　a　〃poor　painted　hypocrite；〃

he　says；　〃proud　of　his　godliness；　and　doing　all　he　did　either　to　be

seen　of；　or　well　spoken　of　by　man。〃　　This　state　of　self…

satisfaction；　he　tells　us；　lasted　〃for　about　a　twelvemonth　or

more。〃　　During　this　deceitful　calm　he　says；　〃I　had　great　peace　of

conscience；　and　should　think　with　myself；　'God　cannot　choose　but

now　be　pleased　with　me；'　yea；　to　relate　it　in　mine　own　way；　I

thought　no　man　in　England　could　please　God　better　than　I。〃　　But　no

outward　reformation　can　bring　lasting　inward　peace。　　When　a　man　is

honest　with　himself；　the　more　earnestly　he　struggles　after　complete

obedience；　the　more　faulty　does　his　obedience　appear。　　The　good

opinion　of　others　will　not　silence　his　own　inward　condemnation。　　He

needs　a　higher　righteousness　than　his　own；　a　firmer　standing…ground

than　the　shifting　quicksand　of　his　own　good　deeds。　　〃All　this

while；〃　he　writes；　〃poor　wretch　as　I　was；　I　was　ignorant　of　Jesus

Christ；　and　going　about　to　establish　my　own　righteousness；　and　had

perished　therein　had　not　God　in　mercy　showed　me　more　of　my　state　by

nature。〃



This　revolution　was　nearer　than　he　imagined。　　Bunyan's　self…

satisfaction　was　rudely　shaken；　and　his　need　of　something　deeper　in

the　way　of　religion　than　he　had　yet　experienced　was　shown　him　by

the　conversation　of　three　or　four　poor　women　whom；　one　day；　when

pursuing　his　tinker's　calling　at　Bedford；　he　came　upon　〃sitting　at

a　door　in　the　sun；　and　talking　of　the　things　of　God。〃　　These　women

were　members　of　the　congregation　of　〃the　holy　Mr。　John　Gifford；〃

who；　at　that　time　of　ecclesiastical　confusion；　subsequently　became

rector　of　St。　John's　Church；　in　Bedford；　and　master　of　the　hospital

attached　to　it。　　Gifford's　career　had　been　a　strange　one。　　We　hear

of　him　first　as　a　young　major　in　the　king's　army　at　the　outset　of

the　Civil　War；　notorious　for　his　loose　and　debauched　life；　taken　by

Fairfax　at　Maidstone　in　1648；　and　condemned　to　the　gallows。　　By　his

sister's　help　he　eluded　his　keepers'　vigilance；　escaped　from

prison；　and　ultimately　found　his　way　to　Bedford；　where　for　a　time

he　practised　as　a　physician；　though　without　any　change　of　his　loose

habits。　　The　loss　of　a　large　sum　of　money　at　gaming　awoke　a　disgust

at　his　dissolute　life。　　A　few　sentences　of　a　pious　book　deepened

the　impression。　　He　became　a　converted　man；　and　joined　himself　to　a

handful　of　earnest　Christians　in　Bedford；　who　becoming；　in　the

language　of　the　day；　〃a　church；〃　he　was　appointed　its　first

minister。　　Gifford　exercised　a　deep　and　vital　though　narrow

influence；　leaving　behind　him　at　his　death；　in　1655；　the　character

of　a　〃wise；　tolerant；　and　truly　Christian　man。〃　　The　conversation

of　the　poor　women　who　were　destined　to　exercise　so　momentous　an

influence　on　Bunyan's　spiritual　life；　evidenced　how　thoroughly　they

had　drunk　in　their　pastor's　teaching。　　Bunyan　himself　was　at　this

time　a　〃brisk　talker　in　the　matters　of　religion；〃　such　as　he　drew

from　the　life　in　his　own　Talkative。　　But　the　words　of　these　poor

women　were　entirely　beyond　him。　　They　opened　a　new　and　blessed　land

to　which　he　was　a　complete　stranger。　　〃They　spoke　of　their　own

wretchedness　of　heart；　of　their　unbelief；　of　their　miserable　state

by　nature；　of　the　new　birth；　and　the　work　of　God　in　their　souls；

and　how　the　Lord　refreshed　them；　and　supported　them　against　the

temptations　of　the　Devil　by　His　words　and　promises。〃　　But　what

seems　to　have　struck　Bunyan　the　most　forcibly　was　the　happiness

which　their　religion　shed　in　the　hearts　of　these　poor　women。

Religion　up　to　this　time　had　been　to　him　a　system　of　rules　and

restrictions。　　Heaven　was　to　be　won　by　doing　certain　things　and　not

doing　certain　other　things。　　Of　religion　as　a　Divine　life　kindled

in　the　soul；　and　flooding　it　with　a　joy　which　creates　a　heaven　on

earth；　he　had　no　conception。　　Joy　in　believing　was　a　new　thing　to

him。　　〃They　spake　as　if　joy　did　make　them　speak；　they　spake　with

such　pleasantness　of　Scripture　language；　and　with　such　appearance

of　grace　in　all　they　said；　that　they　were　to　me　as　if　they　had

found　a　new　world；〃　a　veritable　〃El　Dorado；〃　stored　with　the　true

riches。　　Bunyan；　as　he　says；　after　he　had　listened　awhile　and

wondered　at　their　words；　left　them　and　went　about　his　work　again。

But　their　words　went　with　him。　　He　could　not　get　rid　of　them。　　He

saw　that　though　he　thought　himself　a　godly　man；　and　his　neighbours

thought　so　too；　he　wanted　the　true　tokens　of　godliness。　　He　was

convinced　that　godliness　was　the　only　true　happiness；　and　he　could

not　rest　till　he　had　attained　it。　　So　he　made　it　his　business　to　be

going　again　and　again　into　the　company　of　these　good　women。　　He

could　not　stay　away；　and　the　more　he　talked　with　them　the　more

uneasy　he　became　…　〃the　more　I　questioned　my　own　condition。〃　　The

salvation　of　his　soul　became　all　in　all　to　him。　　His　mind　〃lay

fixed　on　eternity　like　a　horse…leech　at　the　vein。〃　　The　Bible

became　precious　to　him。　　He　read　it　with　new　eyes；　〃as　I　never　did

before。〃　　〃I　was　indeed　then　never　out　of　the　Bible；　either　by

reading　or　meditation。〃　　The　Epistles　of　St。　Paul；　which　before　he

〃could　not　away　with；〃　were　now　〃sweet　and　pleasant〃　to　him。　　He

was　still　〃crying　out　to　God　that　he　might　know　the　truth　and　the

way　to　Heaven　and　glory。〃　　Having　no　one　to　guide　him　in　his　study

of　the　most　difficult　of　all　books；　it　is　no　wonder　that　he

misinterpreted　and　misapplied　its　words　in　a　manner　which　went　far

to　unsettle　his　brain。　　He　read　that　without　faith　he　could　not　be

saved；　and　though　he　did　not　clearly　know　what　faith　was；　it　became

a　question　of　supreme　anxiety　to　him　to　determine　whether　he　had　it

or　not。　　If　not；　he　was　a　castaway　indeed；　doomed　to　perish　for

ever。　　So　he　determined　to　put　it　to　the　test。　　The　Bible　told　him

that　faith；　〃even　as　a　grain　of　mustard　seed；〃　would　enable　its

possessor　to　work　miracles。　　So；　as　Mr。　Froude　says；　〃not

understanding　Oriental　metaphors；〃　he　thought　he　had　here　a　simple

test　which　would　at　once　solve　the　question。　　One　day　as　he　was

walking　along　the　miry　road　between　Elstow　and　Bedford；　which　he

had　so　often　paced　as　a　schoolboy；　〃the　temptation　came　hot　upon

him〃　to　put　the　matter　to　the　proof；　by　saying　to　the　puddles　that

were　in　the　horse…pads　〃be　dry；〃　and　to　the　dry　places；　〃be　ye

puddles。〃　　He　was　just　about　to　utter　the　words　when　a　sudden

thought　stopped　him。　　Would　it　not　be　better　just　to　go　under　the

hedge　and　pray　that　God　would　enable　him？　　This　pause　saved　him

from　a　rash　venture；　which　might　have　landed　him　in　despair。　　For

he　concluded　that　if　he　tried　after　praying　and　nothing　came　of　it；

it　would　prove　that　he　had　no　faith；　but　was　a　castaway。　　〃Nay；

thought　I；　if　it　be　so；　I　will　never　try　yet；　but　will　stay　a

little　longer。〃　　〃Then；〃　he　continues；　〃I　was　so　tossed　betwixt　the

Devil　and　my　own　ignorance；　and　so　perplexed；　especially　at

sometimes；　that　I　could　not　tell　what　to　do。〃　　At　another　time　his

mind；　as　the　minds　of　thousands　have　been　and　will　be　to　the　end；

was　greatly　harassed　by　the　insoluble　problems　of　predestination

and　election。　　The　question　was　not　now　whether　he　had　faith；　but

〃whether　he　was　one　of　the　elect　or　not；　and　if　not；　what　then？〃

〃He　might　as　well　leave　off　and　strive　no　further。〃　　And　then　the

strange　fancy　occurred　to　him；　that　the　good　people　at　Bedford

whose　acquaintance　he　had　recently　made；　were　all　that　God　meant　to

save　in　that　part　of　the　country；　and　that　the　day　of　grace　was

past　and　gone　for　him；　that　he　had　overstood　the　time　of　mercy。

〃Oh　that　he　had　turned　sooner！〃　was　then　his　cry。　　〃Oh　that　he　had

turned　seven　years　before！　　What　a　fool　he　had　been　to　trifle　away

his　time　till　his　soul　and　heaven　were　lost！〃　　The　text；　〃compel

them　to　come　in；　and　yet　there　is　room；〃　came　to　his　rescue　when　he

was　so　harassed　and　faint　that　he　was　〃scarce　able　to　take　one　step

more。〃　　He　found　them　〃sweet　words；〃　for　they　showed　him　that　there

was　〃place　enough　in　heaven　for　him；〃　and　he　verily　believed　that

when　Christ　spoke　them　He　was　thinking　of　him；　and　had　them

recorded　to　help　him　to　overcome　the　vile　fear　that　there　was　no

place　left　for　him　in　His　bosom。　　But　soon　another　fear　succeeded

the　former。　　Was　he　truly　called　of　Christ？　　〃He　called　to　them

when　He　would；　and　they　came　to　Him。〃　　But　they　could　not　come

unless　He　called　them。　　Had　He　called　him？　　Would　He　call　him？　　If

He　did　how　gladly　would　he　run　after　Him。　　But　oh；　he　feared　that

He　had　no　liking　to　him；　that　He　would　not　call　him。　　True

conversion　was　what　he　longed　for。　　〃Could　it　have　been　gotten　for

gold；〃　he　said；　〃what　could　I　have　given　for　it！　　Had　I　a　whole

world；　it　had　all　gone　ten　thousand　times　over　for　this；　that　my

soul　might　have　been　in　a　converted　state。〃　　All　those　whom　he

thought　to　be　truly　converted　were　now　lovely　in　his　eyes。　　〃They

shone；　they　walked　like　people　that　carried　the　broad　seal　of

heaven　about　them。　　Oh　that　he　were　like　them；　and　shared　in　their

goodly　heritage！〃



About　this　time　Bunyan　was　greatly　troubled；　though　at　the　same

time　encouraged　in　his　endeavours　after　the　blessedness　he　longed

for　so　earnestly　but　could　not　yet　attain　to；　by　〃a　dream　or

vision〃　which　presented　itself　to　him；　whether　in　his　waking　or

sleeping　hours　he　does　not　tell　us。　　He　fancied　he　saw　his　four

Bedford　friends　refreshing　themselves　on　the　sunny　side　of　a　high

mountain　while　h