tw.togreenangeltower2-第97部分

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〃I　am。　It's　hard　to　explain；　but　I　am　not　here…at　least；　the　rest　of　me　is　not。〃　He　considered　telling　her　more；　but　was　hesitant　to　open　himself　pletely　even　to　this　melancholy；　harmless…seeming　spirit。　〃Why　are　you　here？〃
〃I　wait。〃　Maegwin's　voice　was　regretful。　〃I　do　not　know　who　or　what　I　am　waiting　for。　But　I　know　that　is　what　I　do。〃
　　　　　　　For　a　time　the　two　of　them　did　not　speak。　The　valley　shimmered　below；　pellucid　as　mist。
　　　　　　　〃It　all　seems　so　far　away；〃　Simon　said　at　last。　〃All　the　things　that　seemed　so　important。〃
〃If　you　listen；〃　Maegwin　replied；　〃you　can　hear　the　music。〃
Simon　listened；　but　heard　absolutely　nothing。　That　in　itself　was　astonishing；　and　for　a　moment　he　was　overwhelmed。　There　was　nothing　at　all…no　wind；　no　bird…song；　no　soft　babble　of　voices；　not　even　the　muffled　bumping　of　his　own　heart。　He　had　never　imagined　a　quiet　so　absolute；　a　peace　so　deep。　After　all　the　madness　and　uproar　of　his　life；　he　seemed　to　have　e　to　the　still　center　of　things。
　　　　　　　〃I　fear　this　place　a　little；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　afraid　that　if　I　stay　here　too　long；　I　won't　even　want　to　go　back　to　my　life。〃
　　　　　　　He　could　feel　Maegwin's　surprise。　〃Your　life？　Are　you　not　already　long　dead？　When　you　came　to　me　before；　I　thought　you　must　be　an　ancient　hero。〃　She　made　an　unhappy　sound。　〃What　have　I　done？　Could　it　be　that　you　did　not　know　you　were　dead？〃　
　　　　　　　〃Dead？〃　Shock　and　fury　and　more　than　a　little　terror　surged　through　him。　〃I'm　not　dead！　I'm　still　alive；　I　just　can't　get　back。　I'm　alive！〃
　　　　　　　〃Then　what　are　you　doing　here　with　me？〃　There　was　something　very　strange　in　her　voice。
〃I　don't　know。　But　I'm　alive！〃　And　although　he　said　it　in　part　to　bat　his　own　sudden　apprehension；　he　felt　it；　too…ties　that　had　grown　weak　but　were　nevertheless　quite　real　still　bound　him　to　the　waking　world　and　his　lost　body。
〃But　surely　only　the　dead　e　here？　Only　the　dead；　like　me？〃
〃No。　The　dead　go　on。〃　Simon　thought　of　Leieth　flying　free　and　knew　he　spoke　truly。　〃This　is　a　waiting　place…a　between…place。　The　dead　go　on。〃
　　　　　　　〃But　how　can　that　be；　when　I　。。。〃　Maegwin　suddenly　fell　silent。
Simon's　frightened　anger　did　not　dissipate；　but　he　felt　the　flame　of　his　life　still　inside　him；　a　flame　that　had　dimmed　but　had　not　yet　blown　out；　and　he　was　forted。　He　knew　he　was　alive。　That　was　all　he　had　to　cling　to；　but　it　was　everything。
　　　　　　　He　felt　something　strange　beside　him。　Maegwin　was　crying；　not　in　sounds；　but　in　great　shuddering　movements　that　caused　her　entire　being　to　waver　and　almost　dissipate；　like　breeze…stirred　smoke。
〃What's　wrong？〃　As　odd　and　unsettling　as　all　this　was；　he　did　not　want　to　lose　her；　but　she　had　bee　alarmingly　insubstantial。　Even　the　light　she　bore　seemed　to　have　grown　fainter。　〃Maegwin？　Why　are　you　crying？〃
　　　　　　　〃I　have　been　such　a　fool；〃　she　keened。　〃Such　a　fool！〃
〃What　do　you　mean？〃　He　tried　to　reach　out　to　her；　to　take　her　hand；　but　the　two　of　them　could　not　touch。　Simon　looked　down　and　saw　nothing　where　his　body　should　be。　It　was　odd；　but　in　this　dreamlike　place　it　did　not　seem　as　terrifying　as　it　might　have　elsewhere。　He　wondered　how　he　looked　to　Maegwin。　〃Why　have　you　been　a　fool？〃
〃Because　I　thought　I　knew　all。　Because　I　thought　even　the　gods　waited　to　see　what　I　would　do。〃
〃I　don't　understand。〃
For　a　long　time　she　did　not　reply。　He　felt　her　sorrow　flow　through　him　in　great　gusts；　angry　and　mournful　in　turn。　〃I　will　explain…but　first　tell　me　who　you　are；　how　you　came　to　be　in　this　place。　Oh；　the　gods；　the　gods！〃　Her　sorrow　threatened　to　sweep　her　away　again。　〃I　have　made　too　many　assumptions。　Far；　far　too　many。〃
Simon　did　as　she　asked；　starting　slowly　and　hesitantly　at　first；　then　gaining　confidence　as　bit　by　bit　his　past　returned　to　him。　He　was　surprised　to　find　that　he　could　remember　names　which　only　a　little　while　before　had　been　misty　holes　in　his　memory。
　　　　　　　Maegwin　did　not　interrupt；　but　as　his　recitation　went　on　she　became　slightly　more　substantial。　He　could　see　her　clearly　again；　her　bright；　wounded　eyes；　her　lips　pressed　together　tightly　as　though　to　keep　them　from　trembling。　He　wondered　who　had　loved　her；　for　certainly　she　was　a　woman　someone　could　love。　Who　mourned　for　her？
　　　　　　　When　he　spoke　of　Sesuad'ra；　and　of　Count　Eolair's　mission　from　Hernysadharc；　she　broke　her　silence　for　the　first　time；　asking　him　to　tell　more　of　the　count　and　what　he　had　said。
As　Simon　described　Aditu；　and　what　the　Sitha…woman　had　said　about　the　Dawn　Children　riding　to　Hernystir；　Maegwin　again　began　to　weep。
　　　　　　　〃Mircha　clothed　in　rain！　It　is　as　I　feared。　I　have　almost　destroyed　my　people　with　my　madness。　I　did　not　die！〃
〃I　don't　understand。〃　Simon　leaned　a　little　closer；　basking　in　the　warmth　of　her　glow。　It　made　the　strange　ghostly　landscape　a　little　less　empty。　〃You　didn't　die？〃
The　shadow…woman　began　to　speak　of　her　own　life。　Simon　realized　with　dawning　amazement　that　he　did　indeed　know　of　her；　although　they　had　never　met：　she　was　Lluth's　daughter；　sister　of　Gwythinn　the　Hernystirman　Simon　had　seen　at　Josua's　councils　in　Naglimund。
　　　　　　　The　story　she　told；　and　then　the　further　tale　of　dreams　and　misunderstandings　and　accidents　that　she　and　Simon　pieced　together　from　fragments　and　guesses；　was　terrible　indeed。　Simon；　who　had　spent　much　of　his　time　on　the　wheel　in　a　fury　of　self…pity；　found　himself　sickened　by　Magwin's　losses…her　father；　her　brother；　her　very　home　and　country　taken　from　her　in　a　way　that　even　he；　for　all　his　sorrows；　had　not　experienced。　And　the　cruel　tricks　that　fate；　with　Simon's　unwitting　help；　had　played　on　her！
No　wonder　she　had　lost　her　wits　and　imagined　herself　dead。　He　ached　for　her。
When　Maegwin　had　finished；　the　phantom　valley　again　fell　into　total　silence。
　　　　　　　〃But　why　are　you　here？〃　Simon　finally　asked。
　　　　　　　〃I　do　not　know。　I　was　not　led　here；　like　you。　But　after　I　touched　the　mind　of　the　thing　in　what　I　thought　was　Scadach…in　Naglimund；　if　that　is　where　it　was…I　was　nowhere　at　all　for　a　time。　Then　I　awoke　to　this　place；　this　land；　and　knew　I　was　waiting。〃　She　paused。　〃Perhaps　it　was　you　I　was　meant　to　wait　for。〃
　　　　　　　〃But　why？〃
　　　　　　　〃I　do　not　know。　But　it　seems　we　fight　the　same　fight…or　rather　we　did　fight　it；　since　I　see　no　way　that　either　of　us　will　leave　this　place。〃
　　　　　　　Simon　waited　and　thought。　〃That　thing　。。。　that　thing　at　Naglimund。　What　was　it　like？　What　did　。。。　what　did　you　feel　when　you　touched　its　thoughts？〃
Maegwin　struggled　to　find　a　way　to　explain。　〃It　。。。　it　burned。　Being　so　near　to　it　was　like　putting　my　face　in　the　door　of　a　kiln…I　feared　it　would　scorch　away　my　very　being。　I　did　not　sense　words；　as　I　do　from　you；　but　。。。　ideas。　Hatred；　as　I　told　you…a　hatred　of　the　living。　And　a　longing　for　death；　for　release；　which　was　almost　as　strong　as　the　longing　for　revenge。〃　She　made　a　sad　noise。　For　a　moment　her　light　dimmed。　〃That　was　when　I　was　first　troubled　about　my　own　thoughts；　for　I　felt　that　longing　for　death；　too…and　if　I　was　already　dead；　how　could　I　desire　to　be　released　from　life？〃　She　laughed；　a　bittersweet　sensation　that　pricked　at　Simon's　being。　〃Mircha　shelter　me！　Listen　to　us！　Even　after　all　that　has　passed；　this　is　a　madness　beyond　all　understanding；　dear　stranger。　That　you　and　I　should　be　in　this　place；　this　moiheneg〃　she　used　a　Hernystiri　word　or　thought　that　Simon　did　not　understand；　〃talking　of　our　lives；　although　we　do　not　even　know　whether　we　still　live。〃
　　　　　　　〃We　have　stepped　out　of　the　world；〃　Simon　told　her；　and　suddenly　everything　seemed　different。　He　felt　a　sort　of　calm　descend　upon　him。　〃Perhaps　we've　been　given　a　gift。　For　a　time；　we've　been　allowed　to　step　outside　the　world。　A　time　to　rest。〃　Indeed；　he　felt　more　like　himself　than　he　had　since　he　had　fallen　through　the　earth　of　John's　barrow。　Meeting　Maegwin　had　done　much　to　make　him　feel　like　a　living　thing　again。
　　　　　　　〃A　time　to　rest？　Perhaps　for　you；　Simon…and　if　that　is　so；　I　am　happy　for　you。　But　I　can　only　look　on　the　foolishness　I　made　of　my　life　and　mourn。〃
　　　　　　　〃Was　there　anything　else　you　learned　from　。。。　from　the　burning　thing？〃　He　was　anxious　to　distract　her。　Her　sorrow　over　her　mistakes　seemed　only　barely　contained；　and　he　feared　that　if　it　overwhelmed　her　he　would　find　himself　alone　again。
　　　　　　　Maegwin　shimmered　slightly。　An　unfelt　wind　seemed　to　toss　her　cloudy　hair。　〃There　were　thoughts　for　which　I　have　no　words。　Pictures　I　cannot　quite　explain。　Very　strong；　very　bright；　as　though　they　were　close　to　the　center　of　the　flames　that　give　that　spirit　life。〃
　　　　　　　〃What　were　they？〃　If　the　burning　presence　Maegwin　described　was　what　he　thought　it　was；　any　clue　to　its　plans…and　by　extension　to　the　designs　of　its　undead　master…might　help　avert　an　endless　age　of　blackness。
If　I　can　even　get　back；　he　reminded　himself。　If　I　can　escape　this　place。　He　pushed　the　disturbing　thought　away。　Binabik　had　taught　him　to　do　only　what　he　could　at　any　given　time。　'You　cannot　catch　three　fish　with　two　hands；'　the　little　man　often　said。
　　　　　　　Maegwin　hesitated；　then　the　glow　began　to　spread。　〃I　will　try　to　show　you。〃
　　　　　　　In　the　valley　of　glass　and　shadows　before　them；　something　moved。　It　was　another　light；　but　where　the　one　that　Maegwin　held　against　her　breast　was　soft　and　warm；　this　one　blazed　with　a　fierce　intensity；　as　Simon　watched；　four　more　points　of　radiance　sprang　up　around　it。　A　moment　later　the　central　light　grew　into　a　licking　flame；　stretching　upward…but　even　as　the　flame　grew；　it　changed　color；　being　paler　and　paler　until　it　was　white　as　frost；　the　licking　tendrils　of　fire　stiffened　into　immobility　even　as　they　reached　up　and　outward。　Simon　gaped　at　what　they　had　bee。　At　the　center　of　the　four…cornered　ring　of　flames　now　loomed　a　tall　white　tree；　beautiful　and　unearthly。　It　was　the　thing　that　had　haunted　him　so　long。　The　white　tree。　The　blazing　tower。
　　　　　　　〃It's　Green　Angel　Tower；〃　he　murmured。
〃This　is　where　all　the　thoughts　of　the　spirit　in　Naglimund　are　bent。〃　Maegwin's　voice　was　suddenly　weary；　as　though　showing　Simon　the　tree　had　taken　nearly　all　her　strength。　〃That　idea　burns　inside　it；　just　as　those　flames　burn　around　the　tree。〃　The　vision　wavered　and　fell　away；　leaving　only　the　shadowy；　insubstantial　landscape。
Green　Angel　Tower；　Simon　thought。　Something　is　going　to　happen　there。
〃One　other　thing。〃　Ma