lh.narcissusinchains-第61部分

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　〃Yes；　Ulfric。〃
　〃Take　your　place；　please。〃
　She　went　back　to　take　her　place　as　Freki　on　his　right　side。　But　the　anger　boiled　around　her　like　nearly　visible　heat　off　a　summer　road。
　〃I　apologize　to　the　swan　king；　for　not　recognizing　him　sooner；　but　we've　only　met　once。〃
　〃Yes；〃　Donovon　Reece　said；　〃I　remember。〃
　〃Wele　to　our　lupanar。　I　would　give　you　safe　passage　among　us；　but　I　have　to　know　why　you　are　here　before　I　can　do　that。〃
　〃I　am　here　because　the　Nimir…Ra　rescued　my　swanmanes　from　the　people　that　nearly　killed　her。　She　risked　her　life　for　them。　I　am　here　at　her　side　tonight　as　an　ally。〃
　〃I　can't　grant　you　safe　passage；　Donovan；　because　if　things　go　badly　it　will　be　a　fight。　If　you're　Anita's　ally；　you'll　be　in　the　middle　of　it。〃
　〃She　risked　her　life　for　my　people；　I　can　do　no　less。〃
　Richard　nodded；　and　I　watched　an　understanding　pass　between　them。　Birds　of　an　honorable　feather；　so　to　speak。
　〃Does　she　save　every　shapeshifter　she　es　across　in　trouble？〃　Jacob　asked；　and　he　made　it　derisive。
　Richard　started　to　say　something；　and　Sylvie　stepped　forward；　touching　his　arm。　He　gave　a　small　nod；　and　let　her　speak。　〃How　many　of　us　has　Anita　saved　from　torture　or　death？〃　She　raised　her　own　hand。
　Jamil　stepped　out　from　around　the　throne　and　raised　his　own。　All　my　leopards　raised　their　hands　like　a　small　forest　of　gratitude。　Rafael　raised　his　hand。　I　finally　spotted　Louie；　his　lieutenant；　and　Ronnie's　boyfriend。　He　gave　a　small　nod　to　me　and　raised　his　own　hand。
　Richard　stood　and　raised　his　hand。　There　were　other　hands　here　and　there。　Then　Irving　Griswold；　mild…mannered　reporter　　and　werewolf　　stepped　forward。　His　glasses　reflected　the　firelight　so　that　he　looked　blind。　He　looked　like　a　tall；　slightly　balding　cherub　with　eyes　of　flame。
　〃What　would　have　happened　if　Anita　hadn't　saved　Sylvie　from　the　vampire　council's　torture？　Sylvie's　strong；　but　what　if　she　had　broken？　She's　dominant　enough　to　call　most　of　us　in；　to　have　forced　us　to　give　ourselves　over　to　the　vampire　council。〃　Irving　raised　his　hand。　〃She　saved　us　all。〃
　Hands　went　up　among　the　werewolves　until　nearly　half　of　them　were　holding　a　hand　up。　It　made　my　throat　tight；　my　eyes　burn。　I　wasn't　going　to　cry；　but　if　someone　hugged　me；　I　couldn't　be　sure　of　that。
　Louie　stepped　forward；　small；　dark；　and　handsome；　with　his　short　black　hair　cut　neat。　〃Rafael　is　a　strong　king；　so　strong　that　if　the　vampire　council　had　broken　him；　none　of　us　could　have　refused　his　call。　We　would　all　have　been　at　their　mercy。　You　all　saw　what　they　did　to　him　and　how　long　it　took　him　to　heal。　Anita　saved　all　the　rodere　in　this　city。〃
　The　rats　raised　their　hands　　all　of　them。
　Sylvie　said；　〃Look　around　you；　do　you　really　want　to　lose　Anita　as　our　lupa？　Most　of　you　remember　what　it　was　like　with　Raina。　Do　you　want　to　go　back　to　that？〃
　〃She's　not　lukoi；〃　Jacob　said。
　A　few　others　said　the　same　thing；　but　not　many。　〃If　your　only　objection　to　her　is　that　she's　not　a　werewolf；〃　Sylvie　said；　〃then　that's　a　poor　excuse　for　losing　Anita。〃
　〃Losing　her；〃　Jacob　said；　〃this　is　the　first　time　I've　ever　seen　her。　I've　been　with　this　pack　for　five　months　and　this　is　the　first　time　I've　set　eyes　on　your　precious　lupa。　We　can't　lose　something　we　never　had。〃
　There　was　a　lot　of　support　for　that；　a　lot　of　howls；　cries　of　yeah；　applause　even。　I　couldn't　blame　them　on　this　one。　I　stepped　forward；　moving　until　I　stood　alone　between　my　allies　and　the　throne。　Silence　fell　around　the　clearing；　until　you　could　hear　the　torches　sizzling。
　Richard　stared　down　at　me。　I　could　meet　his　eyes　now。　I　made　sure　my　voice　carried　when　I　said；　〃Jacob's　right。〃
　Sylvie　looked　startled。　So　did　Jacob。　And　there　was　movement　behind　me　as　people　startled。　〃I　haven't　been　much　of　a　lupa　to　the　Thronnos　Rokke　Clan；　but　I　didn't　know　I　was　supposed　to　be。　I　was　just　the　Ulfric's　girlfriend。　I　had　my　hands　full　with　the　wereleopards；　and　I　trusted　Richard　to　take　care　of　the　wolves。　The　leopards　had　no　one　but　me。〃　I　turned　and　faced　the　crowd。　〃I　was　human；　not　fit　to　be　lupa；　or　Nimir…Ra。〃　The　crowd's　murmur　was　louder　this　time。
　〃I　don't　know　if　you've　all　heard；　but　there　was　an　accident　in　the　fight　that　saved　the　swanmanes。　I　may　be　Nimir…Ra　for　real　in　a　few　weeks。　We　won't　know　for　sure；　but　it　seems　likely。〃
　They　were　quiet　now；　watching　me；　human　eyes；　wolf　eyes；　rats；　leopards；　but　every　face　held　intelligence；　a　burning　concentration。　〃There's　nothing　I　can　do　about　that。　We'll　just　have　to　wait　and　see；　but　my　leopard　did　not　injure　me　on　purpose。　I　will　stake　my　word　of　honor　on　that。　I'm　told　that　Gregory　stands　accused　of　killing　your　lupa。〃　I　raised　my　hands　out　from　my　body。　〃Here　I　stand；　alive　and　well。　If　you　lose　me　as　your　lupa；　it　won't　be　because　Gregory　took　me　from　you；　it　will　be　because　you　choose　to　let　me　go。　If　that's　what　you　want；　fine。　I　don't　blame　you。　Until　tonight；　until　just　a　few　minutes　ago；　I　didn't　think　I　was　doing　a　very　good　job　as　Nimir…Ra；　let　alone　trying　to　be　human　lupa。　Now；　I　think　maybe　I　was　wrong。　Maybe　if　I'd　stayed　around　more；　things　would　be　better。　I　did　what　I　thought　was　right　at　the　time。　If　you　don't　want　me　as　lupa；　that's　your　right；　but　don't　punish　a　fellow　shapeshifter　for　an　accident　that　happened　during　a　fight　where　he　saved　me　from　getting　my　heart　dug　out　of　my　chest。〃
　〃A　pretty　speech；〃　Jacob　said；　〃but　we've　already　voted；　and　your　leopard　has　to　pay　the　price；　unless　you're　shapeshifter　enough　to　win　him　back。〃
　I　looked　back；　not　at　Jacob；　but　at　Richard。　〃Richard；　please。〃
　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　can't　undo　the　vote；　Anita。　I　would　if　I　could。〃　He　sounded　tired。
　I　sighed。　〃Fine；　how　do　I　win　Gregory　back？〃
　〃She　needs　to　stop　being　lupa；　before　she　can　be　Nimir…Ra。〃　This　from　Paris；　who　though　back　in　the　crowd；　still　managed　to　make　her　voice　ring　over　the　clearing。
　〃I　thought　you　voted　me　out　as　lupa；〃　I　said。
　〃They　have；〃　Richard　said；　〃but　to　make　it　official　by　our　laws；　there's　a　ceremony　that　will　sever　your　ties　to　us。〃
　〃Is　it　a　long　ceremony？〃　I　asked。
　〃It　can　be；〃　he　said。
　〃Let　me　get　Gregory　out　first；　then　I'll　do　whatever　lukoi　ceremony　you　want　me　to　do。〃
　〃You　have　the　right　to　refuse　to　step　down；〃　Sylvie　said。
　I　looked　at　Richard。
　〃You　have　that　right。〃　His　face；　his　voice；　were　neutral　as　he　said　it。　I　couldn't　tell　if　he　was　happy　or　sad　about　the　idea。
　〃What　happens　if　I　refuse？〃
　〃You'd　have　to　defend　your　right　to　be　lupa；　either　by　one…on…one　bat　with　any　dominant　that　wants　the　job　。。。　〃　And　he　stopped　there。
　Sylvie　looked　at　him；　but　it　was　Jacob　who　finished。　〃Or　you　can　prove　that　you're　lupa　enough　to　keep　the　job　by　annointing　the　throne。〃
　I　just　looked　at　him　and　shrugged。　〃Annointing　the　throne　　what　does　that　mean？〃
　〃You　fuck　the　Ulfric　on　the　throne　in　front　of　all　of　us。〃
　I　was　already　shaking　my　head。　〃Somehow　I　don't　think　either　Richard　or　I　are　up　to　public　sex。〃
　〃It's　a　little　more　plicated　than　that；〃　Richard　said。　He　looked　at　me　and　there　was　so　much　in　his　eyes　　anger；　pain　　that　it　hurt　to　hold　his　gaze。
　〃Sex　alone　isn't　enough。　We'd　have　to　have　a　mystical　connection　between　our　beasts。〃　He　was　quiet；　and　I　thought　he'd　finished；　but　he　hadn't。　〃Like　you　have　with　your　Nimir…Raj。〃
　We　stared　at　each　other。　I　couldn't　think　of　anything　good　to　say；　but　I　had　to　say　something。　〃I'm　sorry。〃　My　voice　came　out　soft；　almost　sad。
　〃Don't　apologize；〃　he　said。
　〃Why　not？〃
　〃It's　not　your　fault；　it's　mine。〃
　That　made　me　widen　my　eyes　at　him。　〃How　so？〃
　〃I　should　have　known　you'd　have　that　kind　of　bond　with　your　mate。　You're　more　powerful　as　a　human　than　most　true　lupas。〃
　I　looked　at　him。　〃What　are　you　saying；　Richard？　That　you　wish　you'd　made　me　one　of　you　while　you　had　the　chance？〃
　He　lowered　his　eyes　as　if　he　couldn't　bear　for　me　to　see　his　expression　anymore。　I　stepped　closer；　close　enough　to　touch　him；　close　enough　so　that　his　vibrating　energy　spilled　like　a　march　of　insects　across　my　skin。　It　made　me　shiver。　But　I　felt　something　else；　something　I'd　never　felt　before；　not　with　Richard。
　My　beast　spilled　over　my　skin　and　reached　out　like　a　playful　kitten　to　swat　at　Richard's　power。　The　energies　sparked　against　each　other；　and　I　could　almost　see　the　play　of　colors　in　my　head；　like　flint　and　steel　being　struck　against　one　another；　except　in　technicolor。
　I　heard　Richard　catch　his　breath；　his　eyes　were　very　wide。　His　voice　came　hoarse；　almost　strangled。　〃Did　you　do　that　on　purpose？〃
　I　shook　my　head。　I　didn't　trust　myself　to　speak。　The　sparks　had　quieted；　and　it　was　as　if　I　were　leaning　against　a　nearly　solid　wall　of　power；　his　and　mine；　as　if　I　could　have　leaned　against　that　energy　and　it　alone　would　have　kept　us　from　touching。　I　finally　found　my　voice；　but　it　was　a　whisper。　〃What's　happening？〃
　〃The　marriage　of　the　marks；　I　think；〃　he　said；　voice　almost　equally　soft。
　I　wanted　so　badly　to　reach　through　that　power　and　touch　him；　to　see　if　the　beasts　would　roll　through　each　other　like　they　did　for　Micah　and　me。　I　knew　it　was　silly；　he　was　wolf；　and　apparently　I　was　leopard；　so　our　beasts　wouldn't　recognize　each　other。　But　I'd　loved　Richard　for　so　long；　and　we　were　bound　to　each　other　by　Jean…Claude's　marks；　and　I　carried　a　piece　of　his　beast　inside　me。　I　had　to　know。　I　had　to　know　if　I　could　have　with　Richard　what　I　had　with　Micah。
　My　hand　moved　through　the　power；　and　it　was　like　shoving　it　into　an　electric　socket。　The　energy　was　so　strong；　it　bit　along　my　skin。　I　was　reaching　for　his　shoulder；　a　nice　neutral　place　to　touch　someone；　when　he　rolled　off　the　side　of　the　throne　and　was　suddenly　standing　beside　it。　He'd　moved　so　fast　I　couldn't　follow　with　my　eyes。　I'd　seen　the　beginning　of　the　movement　and　the　end；　but　the　middle　　I'd　blinked　and　missed　it。
　〃No；　Anita；〃　he　said；　〃no；　if　we　can't　ever　touch　again；　I　don't　want　to　feel　your　beast。　We　may　not　be　the　same　animal；　but　it　will　be　more　than　anything　we've　ever　had　between　us。　I　couldn't　bear　it。〃
　I　let　my　hand　fall　to　my　side　and　stepped　back　far　enough　from　the　throne　for　him　to　regain　his　seat。　I　wasn't　apologizing　again；　but　I　wanted　to。　I　wanted　to　cry　for　both　of　us；　or　scream。　I　know　the　universe　has　a　sense　of　irony；　and　somet