lh.narcissusinchains-第62部分

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the　universe　has　a　sense　of　irony；　and　sometimes　you　get　reminded　just　how　sadistic　that　can　be。
　I　would　finally　have　to　accept　his　furry　half；　because　I'd　have　one　of　my　own。　I　could　be　Richard's　nearly　perfect　lover；　at　long　last；　and　we　could　never　touch　each　other　again。
　
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　RICHARD　WAS　SITTING　on　his　throne　again；　and　I　was　standing　back　far　enough　for　him　to　feel　safe。　Rafael；　Micah；　and　Reece　had　all　moved　up　beside　me；　a　half…circle　of　kings　at　my　back。　It　should　have　made　me　feel　secure。　It　didn't。　I　was　tired；　so　terribly　tired；　so　terribly　sad。　Even　with　Micah　at　my　back；　I　couldn't　stop　looking　at　Richard；　couldn't　stop　wondering；　what　if。　Oh；　I　knew；　I'd　never　have　allowed　him　to　make　me　a　werewolf　on　purpose；　but　a　small　part　of　me　wondered。　But　I　told　that　small　part　to　shut　up；　and　I　got　down　to　business。
　〃I　want　Gregory　back　unharmed。　How　do　I　do　that；　according　to　lukoi　law？〃
　Richard　said；　〃Jacob。〃　That　one　word　sounded　as　tired　as　I　felt。
　Jacob　stepped　forward；　obviously　pleased　with　himself。　〃Your　leopard　is　here　on　our　land；　and　we've　done　nothing　to　hide　his　scent　trail。　If　you　can　track　him；　you　can　take　him　home。〃
　I　raised　my　eyebrows　at　him。　〃I　have　to　follow　a　scent　trail　like　a　dog？〃
　〃If　you　were　a　true　shapeshifter；　you　could　do　it；〃　Jacob　said。
　〃This　isn't　a　fair　test；〃　Rafael　said。　〃She　hasn't　had　her　first　change。　Most　of　our　secondary　powers　don't　appear　until　after　our　first　full　moon。〃
　〃It　doesn't　have　to　be　scenting；〃　Richard　said；　〃but　it　must　be　something　that　only　a　shapeshifter　could　do。　Something　that　only　a　shifter　powerful　enough　to　truly　be　Nimir…Ra；　or　lupa；　could　do。〃　He　was　looking　at　me　when　he　said　it；　and　there　was　something　in　his　eyes；　something　he　was　trying　to　tell　me。
　〃That　doesn't　sound　very　fair　either；〃　Micah　said。
　Richard　kept　looking　at　me；　willing　me　to　understand　him。　I　didn't　know　why　he　didn't　just　drop　his　shields　and　let　me　see　his　mind。
　Almost　as　if　Richard　had　read　my　mind；　he　said；　〃No　werewolf　or　wererat　or　wereleopard；　no　one　can　aid　you　in　finding　your　leopard。　If　anyone　interferes　in　any　way；　then　the　test　is　invalid；　and　he'll　die。〃
　〃Even　if　that　help　is　metaphysical？〃　I　asked。
　Richard　nodded。　〃Even　if。〃
　I　looked　at　him；　studied　his　face；　and　frowned。　I　finally　shook　my　head。　I'd　had　a　vision　of　where　Gregory　was；　and　under　what　circumstances；　but　it　gave　me　no　real　clue。　All　I　really　needed　to　do　was　ask　someone　where　a　hole　was　with　bones　at　the　bottom。　But　I　couldn't　ask　anyone　there。　Then　I　had　an　idea。
　〃Can　I　use　my　own　metaphysical　abilities　to　aid　me？〃
　Richard　nodded。
　I　looked　at　Jacob；　because　I　knew　the　objection　would　e　from　him；　if　anyone。　〃I　don't　think　your　necromancy　is　going　to　help　you　locate　your　leopard。〃
　Actually；　it　might　have。　If　the　bones　Gregory　was　lying　on　were　the　largest　burial　sight　in　the　area；　then　I　might　be　able　to　track　the　bones　and　find　him。　Or　I　might　spend　all　night　chasing　after　piles　of　buried　animals　or　old　Indian　graves。　I　had　a　faster　way；　maybe　not　better；　but　faster。
　I　sat　down　on　the　ground；　Indian　fashion；　resting　my　hands　lightly　on　my　knees。
　〃What　are　you　doing？〃　Jacob　asked。
　〃I'm　going　to　call　the　munin；〃　I　said。
　He　laughed；　a　loud　bray　of　sound。　〃Oh；　this　should　be　good。〃
　I　closed　my　eyes；　and　I　opened　that　part　of　me　that　dealt　with　the　dead。　I've　heard　Marianne　and　her　friends　describe　it　to　be　like　opening　a　door；　but　it's　so　much　a　part　of　me　that　it's　more　like　unclenching　a　hand；　like　opening　something　in　my　body　that　is　as　natural　as　reaching　across　the　table　for　the　salt。　That　might　sound　like　an　awfully　mundane　description　of　something　mystical；　but　the　mystical　stuff　truly　is　a　part　of　everyday　life。　It's　always　there；　we　just　choose　to　ignore　it。
　The　munin　are　the　spirits　of　the　dead；　put　into　a　sort　of　racial　memory　bank　that　can　be　accessed　by　lukoi　who　have　the　ability　to　speak　with　them。　It's　a　rare　ability；　to　my　knowledge　no　one　in　Richard's　pack　could　do　it。　But　I　could。　The　munin　are　just　another　type　of　dead；　and　I'm　good　with　the　dead。
　In　Tennessee；　the　munin　of　Verne　and　Marianne's　pack　had　e　quickly　and　eagerly　　so　very　close　to　being　real　ghosts；　crowding　around　me；　eager　to　speak。　I'd　practiced　until　I　could　pick　and　choose　who　would　join　with　me　and　be　able　to　municate。　It　was　close　enough　to　channeling　or　mediumship　that　Marianne　had　suggested　I　could　probably　do　this　with　normal　ghosts；　if　I　wanted。　I　didn't　want　to。　I　didn't　like　sharing　my　body　with　another　being；　dead　or　alive。　Creeped　me　out；　yes　it　did。
　I　waited　to　feel　the　press　of　the　munin　spreading　around　me；　like　a　ghostly　card　deck　that　I　could　shuffle　and　pick　the　very　card　I　wanted。　Nothing　happened。　The　munin　did　not　e。　Or　rather　a　gathering　of　munin　did　not　e。　There　was　always　one　munin　that　came　when　I　called；　and　sometimes　when　I　didn't。
　Raina　was　the　only　munin　of　Richard's　pack　that　traveled　with　me　always。　Even　in　Tennessee；　surrounded　by　munin　from　a　different　clan　line；　Raina　was　still　there。　Marianne　said　that　Raina　and　I　had　a　etheric　bond；　though　she　wasn't　sure　why。　I'd　managed　to　call　munin　hundreds　of　years　old；　and　Raina；　the　very　recently　dead；　came　with　more　than　ease。　But　Marcus；　the　previous　Ulfric；　remained　elusive。　I'd　thought　with　my　newfound　control　I'd　be　able　to　call　him；　but　not　only　was　Marcus　not　there；　no　one　was　there。　The　clearing　was　empty　of　spirits。　It　shouldn't　have　been。　This　was　the　spot　where　they　consumed　their　dead；　each　pack　member　eating　the　flesh　to　take　on　the　memories　and　courage；　or　faults；　of　the　recently　dead。　They　could　choose　not　to　feed；　but　it　was　like　the　ultimate　exmunication。　Raina　had　been　a　bad　person；　and　I　wondered　sometimes　what　exactly　you　had　to　do　to　get　exmunicated　from　the　lukoi。　Raina　had　been　so　bad　that　I　would　have　let　her　go；　but　she　was　powerful。　Maybe　that's　why　she　was　still　hanging　around。
　Though　hanging　around　implied　she　was　like　the　phantoms　of　Verne's　pack；　and　she　wasn't。　She　was　internal　to　me；　as　if　she　poured　out　from　inside　my　body；　rather　than　pouring　into　me　from　outside。　Marianne　still　couldn't　explain　why　it　worked　that　way　for　Raina　and　me。　Some　things　you　just　accept　and　work　around；　because　to　do　anything　else　is　to　butt　your　head　against　a　brick　wall；　the　wall　will　not　break　first。
　Raina　filled　me　like　a　hand　inside　a　glove；　and　I　was　the　glove。　But　I'd　worked　a　long　time　to　be　able　to　control　her。　We'd　worked　out　a　deal　of　sorts。　I　used　her　memories　and　powers；　and　I　let　her　have　some　fun。　The　problem　was　that　Raina　had　been　a　sexually　sadistic　nymphomaniac　when　alive；　and　death　hadn't　changed　her　much。
　I　opened　my　eyes　and　felt　her　smile　curve　my　lips；　felt　my　face　take　on　her　expression。　I　rose　to　my　feet　in　a　graceful　line；　and　even　my　walk　was　different。　Once　I'd　hated　that；　now　I　shrugged　it　off　as　the　price　of　doing　business。
　She　laughed；　full　throated；　the　kind　of　laugh　that　makes　a　man　look　in　a　bar。　Her　laugh　was　deeper　than　mine；　contralto；　a　practiced　seduction　of　sound。
　Richard　went　pale；　hands　gripping　the　arms　of　his　throne。　〃Anita？〃　he　made　it　a　question。
　〃Guess　again；　my　honey　wolf。〃
　He　flinched　at　the　nickname。　In　wolf　form　Richard　is　a　ginger　color；　like　red　honey；　though　I'd　never　really　thought　of　it　like　that　before。　Trust　Raina　to　think　of　something　thick　and　sticky　when　she　looked　at　a　man。
　Her　words　came　out　of　my　mouth。　〃Don't　be　bitchy；　when　you　called　me　for　help。〃
　I　nodded；　and　it　was　my　voice　that　explained　to　Richard's　confused　frown。　〃I　was　thinking　something　less　than　charitable　about　her。　She　didn't　like　it。〃
　Jacob　walked　towards　me　and　stopped　when　I　looked　at　him　with　Raina's　expression。　〃You　can't　have　called　munin。　You're　not　lukoi。〃
　Strange；　but　it　hadn't　even　occurred　to　me　that　being　a　leopard　might　mean　I　couldn't　call　munin。　It　might　explain　why　the　other　munin　hadn't　e　when　I　called。　〃You　said　my　necromancy　wouldn't　help　me；　Jacob；　can't　have　it　both　ways。　Either　I'm　lukoi　enough　to　call　the　munin；　or　I'm　necromancer　enough　to　help　myself。〃
　We　　Raina　and　me　　stalked　towards　the　tall；　shirtless　man。　Raina　liked　him。　Raina　liked　most　men。　Especially　if　the　man　was　someone　she'd　never　had　sex　with；　and　among　the　pack　that　had　been　a　short　list。　But　Jacob　and　more　than　twenty　others　were　new。　She　looked　out　over　the　pack　and　picked　out　the　new　faces。　She　hesitated　over　Paris　and　didn't　like　her　either。　You　can't　have　too　many　alpha　bitches　in　one　pack　without　them　fighting　amongst　themselves。
　I　felt　something　I　hadn't　felt　before　from　Raina　　caution。　She　didn't　like　how　many　new　people　Richard　had　allowed　into　the　pack　in　such　a　short　space　of　time。　It　worried　her。　I　realized　for　the　first　time　that　it　hadn't　just　been　love　that　made　Marcus　put　up　with　her　as　lupa。　She　was　powerful；　but　more　than　that；　in　her　own　twisted　way　she　did　care　about　the　pack；　and　she　and　I　were　in　perfect　agreement　on　one　thing：　Richard　had　been　careless　with　it。　But　we　both　felt　we　could　fix　it。　It　was　almost　scary　that　the　wicked　bitch　of　the　west　and　I　were　in　such　perfect　agreement。　Either　I　had　been　corrupted；　or　Raina　had　never　been　quite　as　corrupt　as　I　thought。　I　wasn't　sure　which　idea　bothered　me　more。
　Of　course；　she　thought　we　should　seduce　Richard　into　letting　us　kill　a　few　select　people；　and　I　was　still　hoping　that　a　slightly　less　sweet　reason　would　prevail。　Raina　thought　I　was　a　fool；　and　I　wasn't　sure　I　didn't　agree　with　her。　Scarier　and　scarier。
　〃Anita。〃　Richard　said　my　name　again；　hesitant；　as　if　he　wasn't　sure　I　was　in　there。
　I　turned；　one　hand　ing　up　to　my　hair；　flinging　it　back　from　my　face。　It　was　Raina's　gesture；　and　I　watched　that　one　movement　make　not　only　Richard；　but　Sylvie　and　Jamil　behind　her；　nervous。　No；　frightened。
　I　could　smell　their　fear。　Raina's　laugh　bubbled　out　of　my　mouth；　because　she　liked　it。　I　didn't。　I　never　liked　it　when　my　friends　were　afraid　of　me。　My　enemies；　fine；　but　not　my　friends。
　〃I'm　here；　Richard；　I'm　here。〃
　He　stared　at　me。　〃The　last　time　I　saw　you　call　Raina's　munin　you　weren't　able　to　think　like　yourself　with　her　inside　you。〃
　〃I　really　didn't　leave　you　for　all　these　months　just　because　I　was　afraid　of　how　close　we　all　we