worldly ways and byways(弊没岻揃)-及6何蛍
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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
fact that money�察 �gained honestly but prosaically�察 �in groceries or gas�察�
should go to regild an ancient blazon or prop up the crumbling walls of
some stately palace abroad。
Many thoughtful years and many cruel realities have taught me that
my gracious hostess of the ;seventies; was right�察�and that marriage under
these conditions is apt to be much more like the comic opera after the
curtain has been rung down�察�when the lights are out�察�the applauding public
gone home�察�and the weary actors brought slowly back to the present and
the positive�察 �are wondering how they are to pay their rent or dodge the
warrant in ambush around the corner。
International marriages usually come about from a deficient
knowledge of the world。 The father becomes rich�察�the family travel abroad�察�
some mutual friend ��often from purely interested motives�� produces a
suitor for the hand of the daughter�察�in the shape of a ;prince; with a title
that makes the whole simple American family quiver with delight。
After a few visits the suitor declares himself�察�the girl is flattered�察�the
father loses his head�察 �seeing visions of his loved daughter hob´nobbing
with royalty�察 �and ��intoxicating thought�。� snubbing the ;swells; at home
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who had shown reluctance to recognize him and his family。
It is next to impossible for him to get any reliable information about
his future son´in´law in a country where�察 �as an American�察 �he has few
social relations�察�belongs to no club�察�and whose idiom is a sealed book to
him。 Every circumstance conspires to keep the flaws on the article for sale
out of sight and place the suitor in an advantageous light。 Several weeks'
;courting; follows�察�paterfamilias agrees to part with a handsome share of
his earnings�察�and a marriage is ;arranged。;
In the case where the girl has retained some of her self´respect the
suitor is made to come to her country for the ceremony。 And�察 �that the
contrast between European ways and our simple habits may not be too
striking�察 �an establishment is hastily got together�察 �with hired liveries and
new´bought carriages�察 �as in a recent case in this state。 The sensational
papers write up this ;international union�察─�and publish ;faked; portraits of
the bride and her noble spouse。 The sovereign of the groom's country
��enchanted that some more American money is to be imported into his
land�� sends an economical present and an autograph letter。 The act ends。
Limelight and slow music� �
In a few years rumors of dissent and trouble float vaguely back to the
girl's family。 Finally�察 �either a great scandal occurs�察 �and there is one
dishonored home the more in the world�察 �or an expatriated woman�察�
thousands of miles from the friends and relatives who might be of some
comfort to her�察�makes up her mind to accept ;anything; for the sake of her
children�察 �and attempts to build up some sort of an existence out of the
remains of her lost illusions�察�and the father wakes up from his dream to
realize that his wealth has only served to ruin what he loved best in all the
world。
Sometimes the conditions are delightfully comic�察�as in a well´known
case�察�where the daughter�察�who married into an indolent�察�happy´go´ lucky
Italian family�察 �had inherited her father's business push and energy along
with his fortune�察�and immediately set about ;running; her husband's estate
as she had seen her father do his bank。 She tried to revive a half´forgotten
industry in the district�察 �scraped and whitewashed their picturesque old
villa�察�proposed her husband's entering business�察�and in short dashed head
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down against all his inherited traditions and national prejudices�察�until her
new family loathed the sight of the brisk American face�察�and the poor she
had tried to help�察�sulked in their newly drained houses and refused to be
comforted。 Her ways were not Italian ways�察�and she seemed to the nun´
like Italian ladies�察�almost unsexed�察�as she tramped about the fields�察�talking
artificial manure and subsoil drainage with the men。 Yet neither she nor
her husband was to blame。 The young Italian had but followed the
teachings of his family�察�which decreed that the only honorable way for an
aristocrat to acquire wealth was to marry it。 The American wife honestly
tried to do her duty in this new position�察�naively thinking she could engraft
transatlantic ;go; upon the indolent Italian character。 Her work was in vain�察�
she made herself and her husband so unpopular that they are now living in
this country�察�regretting too late the error of their ways。
Another case but little less laughable�察�is that of a Boston girl with a
neat little fortune of her own�察�who�察�when married to the young Viennese of
her choice�察�found that he expected her to live with his family on the third
floor of their ;palace; ��the two lower floors being rented to foreigners���察�
and as there was hardly enough money for a box at the opera�察�she was not
expected to go�察�whereas his position made it necessary for him to have a
stall and appear there nightly among the men of his rank�察�the astonished
and disillusioned Bostonian remaining at home EN TETE´A´TETE with
the women of his family�察 �who seemed to think this the most natural
arrangement in the world。
It certainly is astonishing that we�察�the most patriotic of nations�察�with
such high opinion of ourselves and our institutions�察�should be so ready to
hand over our daughters and our ducats to the first foreigner who asks for
them�察�often requiring less information about him than we should consider
necessary before buying a horse or a dog。
Women of no other nation have this mania for espousing aliens。
Nowhere else would a girl with a large fortune dream of marrying out of
her country。 Her highest ideal of a husband would be a man of her own kin。
It is the rarest thing in the world to find a well´born French�察�Spanish�察�or
Italian woman married to a foreigner and living away from her country。
How can a woman expect to be happy separated from all the ties and
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traditions of her youth�拭�If she is taken abroad young�察�she may still hope to
replace her friends as is often done。 But the real reason of unhappiness
��greater and deeper than this�� lies in the fundamental difference of the
whole social structure between our country and that of her adoption�察�and
the radically different way of looking at every side of life。
Surely a girl must feel that a man who allows a marriage to be
arranged for him ��and only signs the contact because its pecuniary clauses
are to his satisfaction�察�and who would withdraw in a moment if these were
suppressed���察�must have an entirely different point of view from her own
on all the vital issues of life。
Foreigners undoubtedly make excellent husbands for their own women。
But they are�察�except in rare cases�察�unsatisfactory helpmeets for American
girls。 It is impossible to touch on more than a side or two of this subject。
But as an illustration the following contrasted stories may be cited�此�
Two sisters of an aristocratic American family�察�each with an income of
over forty thousand dollars a year�察 �recently married French noblemen。
They naturally expected to continue abroad the life they had led at home�察�
in which opera boxes�察 �saddle horses�察 �and constant entertaining were
matters of course。 In both cases�察 �our compatriots discovered that their
husbands ��neither of them penniless�� had entirely different views。 In the
first place�察�they were told that it was considered ;bad form; in France for
young married women to entertain�察 �besides�察 �the money was needed for
improvements�察�and in many other ways�察 �and as every well´to´do French
family puts aside at least a third of its income as DOTS for the children
��boys as well as girls���察�these brides found themselves cramped for money
for the first time in their lives�察�and obliged�察�during their one month a year
in Paris�察 �to put up with hired traps�察 �and depend on their friends for
evenings at the opera。
This story is a telling set´off to the case of an American wife�察�who one
day received a windfall in the form of a check for a tidy amount。 She
immediately proposed a trip abroad to her husband�察 �but found that he
preferred to remain at home in the society of his horses and dogs。 So our
fair compatriot starts off ��with his full consent���察�has her outing�察�spends her
little ;pile�察─ �and returns after three or four months to the home of her
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delighted spouse。
Do these two stories need any com