a[1]. v. laider(a.v.跡蟻)-及3何蛍
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I held out my palms。 But�察 �to my great disappointment�察 �he looked
quickly away from them。 He had ceased to smile。 There was agitation in
his voice as he explained that he never looked at people's hands now。
;Never nownever again。; He shook his head as though to beat off some
memory。
I was much embarrassed by my indiscretion。 I hastened to tide over the
awkward moment by saying that if _I_ could read hands I wouldn't�察 �for
fear of the awful things I might see there。
;Awful things�察�yes�察─�he whispered�察�nodding at the fire。
;Not�察─�I said in self´defense�察 �that there's anything very awful�察�so far as
I know�察�to be read in MY hands。;
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He turned his gaze from the fire to me。
;You aren't a murderer�察�for example�拭─�
;Oh�察�no�察─�I replied�察�with a nervous laugh。
;_I_ am。;
This was a more than awkward�察�it was a painful�察�moment for me�察�and I
am afraid I must have started or winced�察 �for he instantly begged my
pardon。
;I don't know�察─�he exclaimed�察 �why I said it。 I'm usually a very reticent
man。 But sometimes; He pressed his brow。 ;What you must think of
me� ─�
I begged him to dismiss the matter from his mind。
;It's very good of you to say that�察�butI've placed myself as well as
you in a false position。 I ask you to believe that I'm not the sort of man
who is 'wanted' or ever was 'wanted' by the police。 I should be bowed out
of any police´station at which I gave myself up。 I'm not a murderer in any
bald sense of the word。 No。;
My face must have perceptibly brightened�察�for�察 �Ah�察─�he said�察 �don't
imagine I'm not a murderer at all。 Morally�察�I am。; He looked at the clock。 I
pointed out that the night was young。 He assured me that his story was not
a long one。 I assured him that I hoped it was。 He said I was very kind。 I
denied this。 He warned me that what he had to tell might rather tend to
stiffen my unwilling faith in palmistry�察 �and to shake my opposite and
cherished faith in free will。 I said�察 �Never mind。; He stretched his hands
pensively toward the fire。 I settled myself back in my chair。
;My hands�察─�he said�察�staring at the backs of them�察 �are the hands of a
very weak man。 I dare say you know enough of palmistry to see that for
yourself。 You notice the slightness of the thumbs and of he two 'little'
fingers。 They are the hands of a weak and over´sensitive mana man
without confidence�察�a man who would certainly waver in an emergency。
Rather Hamletish hands�察─ �he mused。 ;And I'm like Hamlet in other
respects�察 �too�此 �I'm no fool�察 �and I've rather a noble disposition�察 �and I'm
unlucky。 But Hamlet was luckier than I in one thing�此�he was a murderer by
accident�察 �whereas the murders that I committed one day fourteen years
agofor I must tell you it wasn't one murder�察 �but many murders that I
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committedwere all of them due to the wretched inherent weakness of my
own wretched self。
;I was twenty´sixno�察 �twenty´seven years old�察 �and rather a
nondescript person�察�as I am now。 I was supposed to have been called to the
bar。 In fact�察�I believe I HAD been called to the bar。 I hadn't listened to the
call。 I never intended to practise�察�and I never did practise。 I only wanted an
excuse in the eyes of the world for existing。 I suppose the nearest I have
ever come to practicing is now at this moment�此�I am defending a murderer。
My father had left me well enough provided with money。 I was able to go
my own desultory way�察 �riding my hobbies where I would。 I had a good
stableful of hobbies。 Palmistry was one of them。 I was rather ashamed of
this one。 It seemed to me absurd�察�as it seems to you。 Like you�察�though�察�I
believed in it。 Unlike you�察�I had done more than merely read a book about
it。 I had read innumerable books about it。 I had taken casts of all my
friends' hands。 I had tested and tested again the points at which
Desbarolles dissented from the Gipsies�察�andwell�察�enough that I had gone
into it all rather thoroughly�察�and was as sound a palmist�察�as a man may be
without giving his whole life to palmistry。
;One of the first things I had seen in my own hand�察�as soon as I had
learned to read it�察�was that at about the age of twenty´six I should have a
narrow escape from deathfrom a violent death。 There was a clean break
in the life´line�察�and a square joining itthe protective square�察�you know。
The markings were precisely the same in both hands。 It was to be the
narrowest escape possible。 And I wasn't going to escape without injury�察�
either。 That is what bothered me。 There was a faint line connecting the
break in the lifeline with a star on the line of health。 Against that star was
another square。 I was to recover from the injury�察�whatever it might be。 Still�察�
I didn't exactly look forward to it。 Soon after I had reached the age of
twenty´five�察�I began to feel uncomfortable。 The thing might be going to
happen at any moment。 In palmistry�察�you know�察�it is impossible to pin an
event down hard and fast to one year。 This particular event was to be when
I was ABOUT twenty´six�察�it mightn't be till I was twenty´seven�察�it might
be while I was only twenty´five。
;And I used to tell myself it mightn't be at all。 My reason rebelled
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against the whole notion of palmistry�察 �just as yours does。 I despised my
faith in the thing�察 �just as you despise yours。 I used to try not to be so
ridiculously careful as I was whenever I crossed a street。 I lived in London
at that time。 Motor´cars had not yet come in�察�butwhat hours�察�all told�察�I
must have spent standing on curbs�察�very circumspect�察�very lamentable� �It
was a pity�察�I suppose�察�that I had no definite occupation something to take
me out of myself。 I was one of the victims of private means。 There came a
time when I drove in four´wheelers rather than in hansoms�察 �and was
doubtful of four´wheelers。 Oh�察�I assure you�察�I was very lamentable indeed。
;If a railway´journey could be avoided�察�I avoided it。 My uncle had a
place in Hampshire。 I was very fond of him and of his wife。 Theirs was the
only house I ever went to stay in now。 I was there for a week in November�察�
not long after my twenty´seventh birthday。 There were other people
staying there�察�and at the end of the week we all traveled back to London
together。 There were six of us in the carriage�此 �Colonel Elbourn and his
wife and their daughter�察�a girl of seventeen�察�and another married couple�察�
the Bretts。 I had been at Winchester with Brett�察�but had hardly seen him
since that time。 He was in the Indian Civil�察�and was home on leave。 He
was sailing for India next week。 His wife was to remain in England for
some months�察 �and then join him out there。 They had been married five
years。 She was now just twenty´four years old。 He told me that this was
her age。 The Elbourns I had never met before。 They were charming people。
We had all been very happy together。 The only trouble had been that on
the last night�察�at dinner�察�my uncle asked me if I still went in for 'the Gipsy
business��' as he always called it�察 �and of course the three ladies were
immensely excited�察�and implored me to 'do' their hands。 I told them it was
all nonsense�察�I said I had forgotten all I once knew�察�I made various excuses�察�
and the matter dropped。 It was quite true that I had given up reading hands。
I avoided anything that might remind me of what was in my own hands。
And so�察�next morning�察�it was a great bore to me when�察�soon after the train
started�察�Mrs。 Elbourn said it would be 'too cruel' of me if I refused to do
their hands now。 Her daughter and Mrs。 Brett also said it would be 'brutal'�察�
and they were all taking off their gloves�察�andwell�察�of course I had to give
in。
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;I went to work methodically on Mrs。 Elbourn's hands�察 �in the usual
way�察�you know�察�first sketching the character from the backs of them�察�and
there was the usual hush�察 �broken by the usual little noises grunts of
assent from the husband�察 �cooings of recognition from the daughter。
Presently I asked to see the palms�察�and from them I filled in the details of
Mrs。 Elbourn's character before going on to the events in her life。 But
while I talked I was calculating how old Mrs。 Elbourn might be。 In my
first glance at her palms I had seen that she could not have been less than
twenty´five when she married。 The daughter was seventeen。 Suppose the
daughter had been born a year laterhow old would the mother be�拭�Forty´
three�察�yes。 Not less than that�察�poor woman� ─�
Laider looked at me。
;Why 'poor woman��' you wonder�拭�Well�察�in that first glance I had seen
other things than her marriag