the filigree ball-第46部分

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bitter；　and　men　were　dying　there　every　day；　and　no　letters　came　（I
used　to　thank　God　for　this）；　and　I　need　not　think　…　not　yet　…　whither
I　was　tending。　　One　thing　only　made　me　recall　my　real　position。
That　was　when　your　eyes　turned　on　mine　…　your　true　eyes；　so　bright
with　confidence　and　pride。　　I　wanted　to　meet　them　full；　and　when　I
could　not；　I　suddenly　knew　why；　and　suffered。

〃Do　you　remember　the　night　when　we　stood　together　on　the　balcony
at　the　Ocean　View　House　and　you　laid　your　hand　on　my　arm　and
wondered　why　I　persisted　in　looking　at　the　moon　instead　of　into
your　expectant　face？　　It　was　because　the　music　then　being　played
within　recalled　another　night　and　the　pressure　of　another　hand　on
my　arm　…　a　hand　whose　touch　I　hoped　never　to　feel　again；　but　which
at　that　moment　was　so　much　more　palpable　than　yours　that　I　came
near　screaming　aloud　and　telling　you　in　one　rush　of　maddened
emotion　my　whole　abominable　secret。

〃I　did　not　accept　your　attentions　nor　agree　to　marry　you；　without
a　struggle。　　You　know　that。　　You　can　tell；　as　no　one　else　can；　how
I　held　back　and　asked　for　time　and　still　for　time；　thus　grieving
you　and　tearing　my　own　breast　till　a　day　came　…　you　remember　the
day　when　you　found　me　laughing　like　a　mad　woman　in　a　circle　of
astonished　friends？　　You　drew　me　aside　and　said　words　which　I
hardly　waited　for　you　to　finish；　for　at　last　I　was　free　to　love
you；　free　to　love　and　free　to　say　so。　　The　morning　paper　had　brought
news。　　A　telegraphic　despatch　from　Seattle　told　how　a　man　had
struggled　into　Nome；　frozen；　bleeding　and　without　accouterments　or
companion。　　It　was　with　difficulty　he　had　kept　his　feet　and　turned
in　at　the　first　tent　he　came　to。　　Indeed；　he　had　only　time　to
speak　his　name　before　he　fell　dead。　　This　name　was　what　made　this
despatch　important　to　me。　　It　was　William　Pfeiffer。　　For　me　there
was　but　one　William　Pfeiffer　in　the　Klondike　…　my　husband　…　and　he
was　dead！　　That　was　why　you　found　me　laughing。　　But　not　in　mirth。
I　am　not　so　bad　as　that；　but　because　I　could　breathe　again　without
feeling　a　clutch　about　my　throat。　　I　did　not　know　till　then　how
nearly　I　had　been　stifled。

〃We　were　not　long　in　marrying　after　that。　　I　was　terrified　at　delay；
not　because　I　feared　any　contradiction　of　the　report　which　had　given
this　glorious　release；　but　because　I　dreaded　lest　some　hint　of　my
early　folly　should　reach　you　and　dim　the　pride　with　which　you
regarded　me。　　I　wanted　to　feel　myself　yours　so　closely　and　so　dearly
that　you　would　not　mind　if　any　one　told　you　that　I　had　once　cared；
or　thought　I　had　cared；　for　another。　　The　week　of　our　marriage　came；
I　was　mad　with　gaiety　and　ecstatic　with　hope。　　Nothing　had　occurred
to　mar　my　prospects。　　No　letter　from　Denver　…　no　memento　from　the
Klondike；　no　word　even　from　Wallace；　who　had　gone　north　with　his
brother。　　Soon　I　should　be　called　wife　again；　but　by　lips　I　loved；
and　to　whose　language　my　heart　thrilled。　　The　past；　always　vague；
would　soon　be　no　more　than　a　forgotten　dream　…　an　episode　quite
closed。　　I　could　afford　from　this　moment　on　to　view　life　like　other
girls　and　rejoice　in　my　youth　and　the　love　which　every　day　was
becoming　more　and　more　to　me。

〃But　God　had　His　eye　upon　me；　and　in　the　midst　of　my　happiness　and
the　hurry　of　our　final　preparations　His　bolt　fell。　　It　struck　me
while　I　was　at　the　…　don't　laugh；　rather　shudder　…　at　the
dressmaker's　shop　in　Fourteenth　Street。　　I　was　leaning　over　a　table；
chattering　like　a　magpie　over　the　way　I　wanted　a　gown　trimmed；　when
my　eye　fell　on　a　scrap　of　newspaper　in　which　something　had　come
rolled　to　madame。　　It　was　torn　at　the　edge；　but　on　the　bit　lying
under　my　eyes　I　saw　my　husband's　name；　William　Pfeiffer；　and　that
the　paper　was　a　Denver　one。　　There　was　but　one　William　Pfeiffer
in　Denver　…　and　he　was　my　husband。　　And　I　read　…　feeling　nothing。
Then　I　read　again；　and　the　world；　my　world；　went　from　under　my　feet；
for　the　man　who　had　fallen　dead　in　the　camp　at　Nome　was　Wallace；
William's　brother；　and　not　William　himself。　　William　had　been　left
behind　on　the　road　by　his　more　energetic　brother；　who　had　pushed
on　for　succor　through　the　worst　storm　and　under　the　worst　conditions
possible　even　in　that　God…forsaken　region。　　With　the　lost　one　in
mind；　the　one　word　that　Wallace　uttered　in　sight　of　rescue；　was
William。　　A　hope　was　expressed　of　finding　the　latter　alive　and　a
party　had　started　out　…　Did　I　read　more？　I　do　not　think　so。
Perhaps　there　was　no　more　to　read；　here　was　where　the　paper　was
torn　across。　　But　it　was　no　matter。　　I　had　seen　enough。　　It　was
Wallace　who　had　fallen　dead；　and　while　William　might　have　perished
also；　and　doubtless　had；　I　had　no　certainty　of　it。　　And　my　wedding
day　was　set　for　Thursday。

〃Why　didn't　I　tell　Cora；　why　didn't　I　tell　you？　Pride　held　my　tongue；
besides；　I　had　had　time　to　think　before　I　saw　either　of　you；　and　to
reason　a　bit　and　to　feel　sure　that　if　Wallace　had　been　spent　enough
to　fall　dead　on　reaching　the　camp；　William　could　never　have　survived
on　the　open　road。　　For　Wallace　was　the　stronger　of　the　two　and　the
most　hardy　every　way。　　Free　I　certainly　was。　　Some　later　paper　would
assure　me　of　this。　　I　would　hunt　them　up　and　see　…　but　I　never　did。
I　do　not　think　I　dared。　　I　was　afraid　I　should　see　some　account　of
his　rescue。　　I　was　afraid　of　being　made　certain　of　what　was　now　but
a　possibility；　and　so　I　did　nothing。　　But　for　three　nights　I　did　not
sleep。

〃The　caprice　which　had　led　me　to　choose　the　old　Moore　house　to　be
married　in　led　me　to　plan　dressing　there　on　my　wedding　morning。　　It
was　early　when　we　started；　Cora　and　I；　for　Waverley　Avenue；　but　not
too　early　for　the　approaches　to　that　dreadful　house　to　be　crowded
with　people；　eager　to　see　the　daring　bride。　　Why　I　should　have
shrunk　so　from　that　crowd　I　can　not　say。　　I　trembled　at　sight　of
their　faces　and　at　the　sound　of　their　voices；　and　if　by　chance　a
head　was　thrust　forward　farther　than　the　rest　I　cowered　back
instinctively　and　nearly　screamed。　　Did　I　dread　to　recognize　a　too
familiar　face？　　The　paper　I　had　seen　bore　a　date　six　months　back。
A　man　could　arrive　here　from　Alaska　in　that　time。　　Or　was　my
conscience　aroused　at　last　and　clamoring　to　be　heard　when　it　was
too　late？　　On　the　corner　of　N　Street　the　carriage　suddenly　stopped。
A　man　had　crossed　in　front　of　it。　　I　caught　one　glimpse　of　this
man　and　instantly　the　terrors　of　a　lifetime　were　concentrated　into
one　instant　of　agonizing　fear。　　It　was　William　Pfeiffer。　　I　knew
the　look；　I　knew　the　gait。　　He　was　gone　in　a　moment　and　the
carriage　rolled　on。　　But　I　knew　my　doom　as　well　that　minute　as　I
did　an　hour　later。　　My　husband　was　alive　and　he　was　here。　　He　had
escaped　the　perils　of　the　Klondike　and　wandered　east　to　reclaim
his　recreant　wife。　　There　had　been　time　for　him　to　do　this　since
the　rescue　party　left　home　in　search　of　him；　time　for　him　to
recover；　time　for　him　to　reach　home；　time　for　him　to　reach　the
east。　　He　had　heard　of　my　wedding；　it　was　in　all　the　papers；　and　I
should　find　him　at　the　house　when　I　got　there；　and　you　would　know
and　Cora　would　know；　and　the　wedding　would　stop　and　my　name　be
made　a　by…word　the　world　over。　　Instead　of　the　joy　awaiting　me　a
moment　since；　I　should　have　to　go　away　with　him　into　some　wilderness
or　distant　place　of　exile　where　my　maiden　name　would　never　be　heard；
and　all　the　memories　of　this　year　of　stolen　delights　be　effaced。
Oh；　it　was　horrible！　　And　all　in　a　minute！　　And　Cora　sat　there；
pale；　calm　and　beautiful　as　an　angel；　beaming　on　me　with　tender
eyes　whose　expression　I　have　never　understood！　　Hell　in　my　heart；
　…　and　she；　in　happy　ignorance　of　this；　brooding　over　my　joy　and
smiling　to　herself　while　the　soft　tears　rose！

〃You　were　waiting　at　the　curb　when　I　arrived；　and　I　remember　how　my
heart　stood　still　when　you　laid　your　hand　on　the　carriage　door　and
confronted　me　with　that　light　on　your　face　I　had　never　seen
disturbed　since　we　first　pledged　ourselves　to　marry。　　Would　he　see
it；　too；　and　come　forward　from　the　secret　place　where　he　held
himself　hidden？　　Was　I　destined　to　behold　a　struggle　in　the　streets；
an　unseemly　contest　of　words　in　sight　of　the　door　I　had　expected
to　enter　so　joyously？　　In　terror　of　such　an　event；　I　seized　the
hand　which　seemed　my　one　refuge　in　this　hour　of　mortal　trouble；
and　hastened　into　the　house　which；　for　all　its　doleful　history；
had　never　received　within　its　doors　a　heart　more　burdened　or
rebellious。　　As　this　thought　rushed　over　me；　I　came　near　crying
out；　'The　house　of　doom！　　The　house　of　doom！'　　I　had　thought　to
brave　its　terrors　and　its　crimes　and　it　has　avenged　itself。　　But
instead　of　that；　I　pressed　your　hand　with　mine　and　smiled。　　O
God！　　if　you　could　have　seen　what　lay　beneath　that　smile！　　For；
with　my　entrance　beneath　those　fatal　doors　a　thought　had　come。
I　remembered　my　heritage。　　I　remembered　how　I　had　been　told　by
my　father　when　I　was　a　very　little　girl；　…　I　presume　when　he　first
felt　the　hand　of　death　upon　him；　…　that　if　ever　I　was　in　great
trouble；　…　very　great　trouble；　he　had　said；　where　no　deliverance
seemed　possible　…　I　was　to　open　a　little　golden　ball　which　he
showed　me　and　take　out　what　I　should　find　inside　and　hold　it　close
up　before　a　picture　which　had　hung　from　time　immemorial　in　the
southwest　corner　of　this　old　house。　　He　could　not　tell　me　what　I
should　encounter　there　this　I　remember　his　saying　…　but　something
that　would　assist　me；　something　which　had　passed　with　good　effect
from　father　down　to　child　for　many　generations。　　Only；　if　I　would
be　blessed　in　my　undertakings；　I　must　not　open　the　golden　ball　nor
endeavor　to　find　out　its　mystery　unless　my　trouble　threatened　death
or　some　great　disaster。　　Such　a　trouble　had　indeed　come　to　me；　and
　…　startling　coincidence　…　I　was　at　this　moment　in　the　very　house
where　this　picture　hung；　and　…　more　startling　fact　yet　…　the
golden　ball　needed　to　interpret　its　meaning　was　round　my　neck　…　for
with　such　jealousy　was　this　family　trinket　always　guarded　by　its
owner。　　Why　then　not　test　their　combined　effect？　　I　certainly　needed
help　from　some　quarter。　　Never　would　William　allow　me　to　be　married
to　another　while　he　lived。　　He　would　yet　appear　and　I　should　need
thus　great　assistance　（great　enough　to　be　transmitted　from　f