letters of two brides-第38部分

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May　not　Gaston　come　to　loathe　this　too　perfect　bliss？　I　shudder　to
think　how　complete　it　is；　for　the　ripest　fruits　harbor　the　worms；　the
most　gorgeous　flowers　attract　the　insects。　Is　it　not　ever　the　monarch
of　the　forest　which　is　eaten　away　by　the　fatal　brown　grub；　greedy　as
death？　I　have　learned　before　now　that　an　unseen　and　jealous　power
attacks　happiness　which　has　reached　perfection。　Besides；　this　is　the
moral　of　all　your　preaching；　and　you　have　been　proved　a　prophet。

When　I　went；　the　day　before　yesterday；　to　see　whether　my　last　whim　had
been　carried　out；　tears　rose　to　my　eyes；　and；　to　the　great　surprise　of
my　architect；　I　at　once　passed　his　account　for　payment。

〃But；　madame；〃　he　exclaimed；　〃your　man　of　business　will　refuse　to　pay
this；　it　is　a　matter　of　three　hundred　thousand　francs。〃　My　only　reply
was　to　add　the　words；　〃To　be　paid　without　question；〃　with　the　bearing
of　a　seventeenth…century　Chaulieu。

〃But；〃　I　said；　〃there　is　one　condition　to　my　gratitude。　No　human　being
must　hear　from　you　of　the　park　and　buildings。　Promise　me；　on　your
honor；　to　observe　this　article　in　our　contractnot　to　breathe　to　a
soul　the　proprietor's　name。〃

Now；　can　you　understand　the　meaning　of　my　sudden　journeys；　my
mysterious　comings　and　goings？　Now；　do　you　know　whither　those
beautiful　things；　which　the　world　supposes　to　be　sold；　have　flown？　Do
you　perceive　the　ultimate　motive　of　my　change　of　investment？　Love；　my
dear；　is　a　vast　business；　and　they　who　would　succeed　in　it　should　have
no　other。　Henceforth　I　shall　have　no　more　trouble　from　money　matters；
I　have　taken　all　the　thorns　out　of　my　life；　and　done　my　housekeeping
work　once　for　all　with　a　vengeance；　so　as　never　to　be　troubled　with　it
again；　except　during　the　daily　ten　minutes　which　I　shall　devote　to　my
old　major…domo　Philippe。　I　have　made　a　study　of　life　and　its　sharp
curves；　there　came　a　day　when　death　also　gave　me　harsh　lessons。　Now　I
want　to　turn　all　this　to　account。　My　one　occupation　will　be　to　please
/him/　and　love　/him/；　to　brighten　with　variety　what　to　common　mortals
is　monotonously　dull。

Gaston　is　still　in　complete　ignorance。　At　my　request　he　has；　like
myself；　taken　up　his　quarters　at　Ville　d'Avray；　to…morrow　we　start　for
the　chalet。　Our　life　there　will　cost　but　little；　but　if　I　told　you　the
sum　I　am　setting　aside　for　my　toilet；　you　would　exclaim　at　my　madness；
and　with　reason。　I　intend　to　take　as　much　trouble　to　make　myself
beautiful　for　him　every　day　as　other　women　do　for　society。　My　dress　in
the　country；　year　in；　year　out；　will　cost　twenty…four　thousand　francs；
and　the　larger　portion　of　this　will　not　go　in　day　costumes。　As　for
him；　he　can　wear　a　blouse　if　he　pleases！　Don't　suppose　that　I　am　going
to　turn　our　life　into　an　amorous　duel　and　wear　myself　out　in　devices
for　feeding　passion；　all　that　I　want　is　to　have　a　conscience　free　from
reproach。　Thirteen　years　still　lie　before　me　as　a　pretty　woman；　and　I
am　determined　to　be　loved　on　the　last　day　of　the　thirteenth　even　more
fondly　than　on　the　morrow　of　our　mysterious　nuptials。　This　time　no
cutting　words　shall　mar　my　lowly；　grateful　content。　I　will　take　the
part　of　servant；　since　that　of　mistress　throve　so　ill　with　me　before。

Ah！　Renee；　if　Gaston　has　sounded；　as　I　have；　the　heights　and　depths　of
love；　my　happiness　is　assured！　Nature　at　the　chalet　wears　her　fairest
face。　The　woods　are　charming；　each　step　opens　up　to　you　some　fresh
vista　of　cool　greenery；　which　delights　the　soul　by　the　sweet　thoughts
it　wakens。　They　breathe　of　love。　If　only　this　be　not　the　gorgeous
theatre　dressed　by　my　hand　for　my　own　martyrdom！

In　two　days　from　now　I　shall　be　Mme。　Gaston。　My　God！　is　it　fitting　a
Christian　so　to　love　mortal　man？

〃Well；　at　least　you　have　the　law　with　you；〃　was　the　comment　of　my　man
of　business；　who　is　to　be　one　of　my　witnesses；　and　who　exclaimed；　on
discovering　why　my　property　was　to　be　realized；　〃I　am　losing　a
client！〃

And　you；　my　sweetheart　（whom　I　dare　no　longer　call　my　loved　one）；　may
you　not　cry；　〃I　am　losing　a　sister？〃

My　sweet；　address　when　you　write　in　future　to　Mme。　Gaston；　Poste
Restante；　Versailles。　We　shall　send　there　every　day　for　letters。　I
don't　want　to　be　known　to　the　country　people；　and　we　shall　get　our
provisions　from　Paris。　In　this　way　I　hope　we　may　guard　the　secret　of
our　lives。　Nobody　has　been　seen　in　the　place　during　the　years　spent　in
preparing　our　retreat；　and　the　purchase　was　made　in　the　troubled
period　which　followed　the　revolution　of　July。　The　only　person　who　has
shown　himself　here　is　the　architect；　he　alone　is　known；　and　he　will
not　return。

Farewell。　As　I　write　this　word；　I　know　not　whether　my　heart　is　fuller
of　grief　or　joy。　That　proves；　does　it　not；　that　the　pain　of　losing　you
equals　my　love　for　Gaston？



XLIX

MARIE　GASTON　TO　DANIEL　D'ARTHEZ
October　1833。

My　Dear　Daniel；I　need　two　witnesses　for　my　marriage。　I　beg　of　you　to
come　to…morrow　evening　for　this　purpose；　bringing　with　you　our　worthy
and　honored　friend；　Joseph　Bridau。　She　who　is　to　be　my　wife；　with　an
instinctive　divination　of　my　dearest　wishes；　has　declared　her
intention　of　living　far　from　the　world　in　complete　retirement。　You；
who　have　done　so　much　to　lighten　my　penury；　have　been　left　in
ignorance　of　my　love；　but　you　will　understand　that　absolute　secrecy
was　essential。

This　will　explain　to　you　why　it　is　that；　for　the　last　year；　we　have
seen　so　little　of　each　other。　On　the　morrow　of　my　wedding　we　shall　be
parted　for　a　long　time；　but；　Daniel；　you　are　of　stuff　to　understand
me。　Friendship　can　subsist　in　the　absence　of　the　friend。　There　may　be
times　when　I　shall　want　you　badly；　but　I　shall　not　see　you；　at　least
not　in　my　own　house。　Here　again　/she/　has　forestalled　our　wishes。　She
has　sacrificed　to　me　her　intimacy　with　a　friend　of　her　childhood；　who
has　been　a　sister　to　her。　For　her　sake；　then；　I　also　must　relinquish
my　comrade！

From　this　fact　alone　you　will　divine　that　ours　is　no　mere　passing
fancy；　but　love；　absolute；　perfect；　godlike；　love　based　upon　the
fullest　knowledge　that　can　bind　two　hearts　in　sympathy。　To　me　it　is　a
perpetual　spring　of　purest　delight。

Yet　nature　allows　of　no　happiness　without　alloy；　and　deep　down；　in　the
innermost　recess　of　my　heart；　I　am　conscious　of　a　lurking　thought；　not
shared　with　her；　the　pang　of　which　is　for　me　alone。　You　have　too　often
come　to　the　help　of　my　inveterate　poverty　to　be　ignorant　how　desperate
matters　were　with　me。　Where　should　I　have　found　courage　to　keep　up　the
struggle　of　life；　after　seeing　my　hopes　so　often　blighted；　but　for
your　cheering　words；　your　tactful　aid；　and　the　knowledge　of　what　you
had　come　through？　Briefly；　then；　my　friend；　she　freed　me　from　that
crushing　load　of　debt；　which　was　no　secret　to　you。　She　is　wealthy；　I
am　penniless。　Many　a　time　have　I　exclaimed；　in　one　of　my　fits　of
idleness；　〃Oh　for　some　great　heiress　to　cast　her　eye　on　me！〃　And　now；
in　presence　of　this　reality；　the　boy's　careless　jest；　the　unscrupulous
cynicism　of　the　outcast；　have　alike　vanished；　leaving　in　their　place
only　a　bitter　sense　of　humiliation；　which　not　the　most　considerate
tenderness　on　her　part；　nor　my　own　assurance　of　her　noble　nature；　can
remove。　Nay；　what　better　proof　of　my　love　could　there　exist；　for　her
or　for　myself；　than　this　shame；　from　which　I　have　not　recoiled；　even
when　powerless　to　overcome　it？　The　fact　remains　that　there　is　a　point
where；　far　from　protecting；　I　am　the　protected。

This　is　my　pain　which　I　confide　to　you。

Except　in　this　one　particular；　dear　Daniel；　my　fondest　dreams　are　more
than　realized。　Fairest　and　noblest　among　women；　such　a　bride　might
indeed　raise　a　man　to　giddy　heights　of　bliss。　Her　gentle　ways　are
seasoned　with　wit；　her　love　comes　with　an　ever…fresh　grace　and　charm；
her　mind　is　well　informed　and　quick　to　understand；　in　person；　she　is
fair　and　lovely；　with　a　rounded　slimness；　as　though　Raphael　and　Rubens
had　conspired　to　create　a　woman！　I　do　not　know　whether　I　could　have
worshiped　with　such　fervor　at　the　shrine　of　a　dark　beauty；　a　brunette
always　strikes　me　as　an　unfinished　boy。　She　is　a　widow；　childless；　and
twenty…seven　years　of　age。　Though　brimful　of　life　and　energy；　she　has
her　moods　also　of　dreamy　melancholy。　These　rare　gifts　go　with　a　proud
aristocratic　bearing；　she　has　a　fine　presence。

She　belongs　to　one　of　those　old　families　who　make　a　fetich　of　rank；
yet　loves　me　enough　to　ignore　the　misfortune　of　my　birth。　Our　secret
passion　is　now　of　long　standing；　we　have　made　trial；　each　of　the
other；　and　find　that　in　the　matter　of　jealousy　we　are　twin　spirits；
our　thoughts　are　the　reverberation　of　the　same　thunderclap。　We　both
love　for　the　first　time；　and　this　bewitching　springtime　has　filled　its
days　for　us　with　all　the　images　of　delight　that　fancy　can　paint　in
laughing；　sweet；　or　musing　mood。　Our　path　has　been　strewn　with　the
flowers　of　tender　imaginings。　Each　hour　brought　its　own　wealth；　and
when　we　parted；　it　was　to　put　our　thoughts　in　verse。　Not　for　a　moment
did　I　harbor　the　idea　of　sullying　the　brightness　of　such　a　time　by
giving　the　rein　to　sensual　passion；　however　it　might　chafe　within。　She
was　a　widow　and　free；　intuitively；　she　realized　all　the　homage　implied
in　this　constant　self…restraint；　which　often　moved　her　to　tears。　Can
you　not　read　in　this；　my　friend；　a　soul　of　noble　temper？　In　mutual
fear　we　shunned　even　the　first　kiss　of　love。

〃We　have　each　a　wrong　to　reproach　ourselves　with；〃　she　said　one　day。

〃Where　is　yours？〃　I　asked。

〃My　marriage；〃　was　her　reply。

Daniel；　you　are　a　giant　among　us　and　you　love　one　of　the　most　gifted
women　of　the　aristocracy；　which　has　produced　my　Armande；　what　need　to
tell　you　more？　Such　an　answer　lays　bare　to　you　a　woman's　heart　and　all
the　happiness　which　is　in　store　for　your　friend；
MARIE　GASTON。



L

MME。　DE　L'ESTORADE　TO　MME。　DE　MACUMER

Louise；　can　it　be　that；　with　all　your　knowledge　of　the　deep…seated
mischief　wrought　by　the　indulgence　of　passion；　even　within　the　heart
of　marriage；　you　are　planning　a　life　of　wedded　solitude？　Having
sacrificed　your　first　husband　in　the　course　of　a　fashionable　career；
would　you　now　fly　to　the　desert　to　consume　a　second？　What　stores　of
misery　you　are　laying　up　for　yourself！

But　I　see　from　the　way　you　have　set